Saturday, January 31, 2015
Story
for: anyone who is a good reader and can skim over this and is interested in the same kind of story I write over and over :D
There was a girl named Cindy Lou Whoo who was 15 years old. She had a best friend named Bella Yella and Chloe Grace. Cindy wore purple, Bella was in yella, and Chloe was in Green.
They walked on the grass by the clear water. They ran into a jolly ole fella named Phil Schmill. He was with 3 women, Roberta, Carla, and Tina.
Cindy, Bella, and Chloe all courtseyed. The adults said, "Rise." The girls were all 15.
Cindy stepped forward, "Will you be joining us on the sojourn and children's crusades?"
"Why, yes, dears," replied Roberta. Carla nodded, and Tina made a big smile.
Phil said, "Why, lovely, maidens, maidens fair, join us now for the county fair!"
The girls trotted off. Cindy had their money. They ate candy apples and then rode on the rides. They were looking for that one, that man in glorious attire. Finally, he came, a man of 20 named Petyr. He was in sparkling indigo and bowed low with a glow. Indigo children are young people I think who seem to have an indigo glow, "special" people like Autistics.
The next night, the girls were ready at the dock, and it was lovely. Cindy walked around in her Renaissance attire. She looked like a pirate's maiden cloaked in beauty. Younger girls came and played London Bridges in their boots and dresses of pink, green, and other marvelous shades. They waited this time by water at night, for the boat to come in.
Finally, it came in. The girls stepped on. On it already was a pirate named Jack Sparrah. He bowed low and greeted everyone. He struck up conversation with Cindy. He was probably 35.
Finally, the arrived at the destination. It was a tropical island. They set camp. They were there to collect fruit, study life, and sail off to yet other supposedly uncharted lands.
The next place was an island which was always night. They collected moon treasures.
Next, they came upon an island of aliens who were about to fly inta space.
Finally, they returned home, not much of a trip. They went back to buildings to live in. The 3 girls lived with other women in a big manor. shaped more like a castle.. They sat in their room and spoke, dreamed, whiled away the hours.
They went and sat on a bank with other younger girls. Cindy stared off into the distance keeping watch as they played. Chloe brought out the art supplies, and they tried recreating the scene.
They could stay there forever. However, they made a big caravan, much like the children's crusade, and off they went. Danger entered their land, so they went off. They ended up in a castle in a top room. They helped about the house with the children all cooped up then. It was as tho they were escaping from a war. The children grew older and left around age 11 to meet boys and be wed. There was 1 young girl who was 10 even. The 3 girls now about age 20 moved to Africa to learn about things there, met others traveling there, and learned so much about history/social studies. They were able to make friends with the savages and had fun being close. One little girl was so sweet and gave them a present of a craft of shells, like a display with shells hanging off the main section, which looked like a steeple. They gave her a hug and they looked at each other in assurance. They done some good now they think of it.
The End Again!
There was a girl named Cindy Lou Whoo who was 15 years old. She had a best friend named Bella Yella and Chloe Grace. Cindy wore purple, Bella was in yella, and Chloe was in Green.
They walked on the grass by the clear water. They ran into a jolly ole fella named Phil Schmill. He was with 3 women, Roberta, Carla, and Tina.
Cindy, Bella, and Chloe all courtseyed. The adults said, "Rise." The girls were all 15.
Cindy stepped forward, "Will you be joining us on the sojourn and children's crusades?"
"Why, yes, dears," replied Roberta. Carla nodded, and Tina made a big smile.
Phil said, "Why, lovely, maidens, maidens fair, join us now for the county fair!"
The girls trotted off. Cindy had their money. They ate candy apples and then rode on the rides. They were looking for that one, that man in glorious attire. Finally, he came, a man of 20 named Petyr. He was in sparkling indigo and bowed low with a glow. Indigo children are young people I think who seem to have an indigo glow, "special" people like Autistics.
The next night, the girls were ready at the dock, and it was lovely. Cindy walked around in her Renaissance attire. She looked like a pirate's maiden cloaked in beauty. Younger girls came and played London Bridges in their boots and dresses of pink, green, and other marvelous shades. They waited this time by water at night, for the boat to come in.
Finally, it came in. The girls stepped on. On it already was a pirate named Jack Sparrah. He bowed low and greeted everyone. He struck up conversation with Cindy. He was probably 35.
Finally, the arrived at the destination. It was a tropical island. They set camp. They were there to collect fruit, study life, and sail off to yet other supposedly uncharted lands.
The next place was an island which was always night. They collected moon treasures.
Next, they came upon an island of aliens who were about to fly inta space.
Finally, they returned home, not much of a trip. They went back to buildings to live in. The 3 girls lived with other women in a big manor. shaped more like a castle.. They sat in their room and spoke, dreamed, whiled away the hours.
They went and sat on a bank with other younger girls. Cindy stared off into the distance keeping watch as they played. Chloe brought out the art supplies, and they tried recreating the scene.
They could stay there forever. However, they made a big caravan, much like the children's crusade, and off they went. Danger entered their land, so they went off. They ended up in a castle in a top room. They helped about the house with the children all cooped up then. It was as tho they were escaping from a war. The children grew older and left around age 11 to meet boys and be wed. There was 1 young girl who was 10 even. The 3 girls now about age 20 moved to Africa to learn about things there, met others traveling there, and learned so much about history/social studies. They were able to make friends with the savages and had fun being close. One little girl was so sweet and gave them a present of a craft of shells, like a display with shells hanging off the main section, which looked like a steeple. They gave her a hug and they looked at each other in assurance. They done some good now they think of it.
The End Again!
Dr. Phil - Facebook
(response to fan)
My parents are mean to me, not me to them. I am like the parent.
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Is this just a post wherein "bad" poeple come up and say "hit your kids?"
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fan: To include the teenage years!!
me: LOL
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fan - just gave a presentation on this
(parents not caring about kids)
They think they are already good enough.
My parents are mean to me, not me to them. I am like the parent.
---
Is this just a post wherein "bad" poeple come up and say "hit your kids?"
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fan: To include the teenage years!!
me: LOL
---
fan - just gave a presentation on this
(parents not caring about kids)
They think they are already good enough.
"Piece of Me"
People in LA/CA must get really mad at "Floridians." Floridians unravel the truth but cannot come up with the wanted answer being so. People in LA/CA want the end result to be but can't find the pieces.
How will we fix this?
How will we fix this?
Dr. Phil - Facebook
(response to fan)
I don't really like most people, think they're just messed up. I was gonna leave, but I was told to stay and learn to care for myself. Yea, I wanted a kid so I could get a boy before they are all taken. Also, people put up tiny cameras and microphones in my room so they can watch and send annoying secret messages with little ticks. They control how things on my computer load, too. I feel it would be dangerous for me to be put in a situation where I am alone with that. I am stil catching up on rest and eating from college, too, and hope to make it as an actress to where I can support myself for now, at least. Otherwise, I should go back to college, at least get a bachelor's in what I did before or something like Communications, would make for a nice rising career..
I don't really like most people, think they're just messed up. I was gonna leave, but I was told to stay and learn to care for myself. Yea, I wanted a kid so I could get a boy before they are all taken. Also, people put up tiny cameras and microphones in my room so they can watch and send annoying secret messages with little ticks. They control how things on my computer load, too. I feel it would be dangerous for me to be put in a situation where I am alone with that. I am stil catching up on rest and eating from college, too, and hope to make it as an actress to where I can support myself for now, at least. Otherwise, I should go back to college, at least get a bachelor's in what I did before or something like Communications, would make for a nice rising career..
Getting Taller
So, I ate at the movies and later at night of course, and it got me taller! I felt a sense of life go back into me when I ate extra food. I did throw up some of it. I wanted more, too, of that kind of food.
Dr. Phil - Twitter
I used to look down all the time with everyone it seemed.
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My dad said the only mistake he made with me was he didn't give me enough support maybe. He informed me at 16.
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My dad said the only mistake he made with me was he didn't give me enough support maybe. He informed me at 16.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
My parents are mean to me now, and I'm 28. I actually do not end up rolling my eyes. Maybe, they got a little too close. What about all the people recently who had kids in their early 20s or before? I feel my parents "roll their eyes at me." If I get upset or think something the wrong way, at age 28 now, they will tick tick tick tick bothere me in my presence. They should not be in the lives of their kid after they are old enough to have left home or turned 18. The love is finished then, so why have them monitor your life then too? About the love, they don't think you're like a sweet 16-year-old, anymore. Maybe it's that Disney princess mentality and we know nothing other than that they are allowed to leave home by that age. If you mean before, I've almost rolled my eyes. It was interesting. I was able, because of my parents's proper rearing of me in this way, to not form a big habit of rolling my eyes. A lotta my life has been damaged by me looking down, however. I am sorry if I have a misunderstanding, but I find it an obstacle, it seems. I am pretty sure my parents feel so good about themselves because they are not heavily a mixed race like me. They seem to celebrate over me that they're better like that, but I still don't literally feel the love to be adament enough to roll my eyes even.
Other people, they seem to act like they roll their eyes a lot. It's not a nice habit. I do not listen to mean people.. who are in my life, but I mean I don't see myself roll my eyes.
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Parents gotta know their kid isn't better than the other kids, cuz the problems of life come when that's all that is hoped for with only 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. It's interesting some kids level themselves out so well self-esteem-wise that they feel like they "are something" and can make even a controversial statement of their life in front of their parents. I come home, and like I said to one lady on here, I used to ask them about having no friends and they acted like I didn't deserve it and had no advice. I used to have friends, but we moved from Florida. I didn't always have good friends in where all we lived in Florida. I didn't feel washed up, tho. My dad said he did everything right to himself have helped raise me except "maybe I didn't give you enough support." I find that suggestive now I think of it. It's funny to me, too. My mom stopped touching me when I was 9, had quit gymnastics I know, don't know why, maybe not exciting when she does at that point with a little brother who wants attention, but still. I started not wanting my dad to touch me. My parents pretty much get dinner and things together and we eat and not much interaction took place. These days, they are all at it in secret message, now that I think of it. My mom was into helping me get into college after my dad or aunt had me placed in a mental hospital probably because I was secretly sad I lost my 4.0. She was at me like moms today are with their teens my last year and a half of college. She got me into an arts school and got me to host a foreign exchange student (3/4 French from Germany.) My mom got me off on the right foot, but for some reason I was kicked outta my major after a year in college. I didn't memorize my piece cuz they added Music History. They said it was for being shy, tho. This didn't happen to others. I am sorry if my post is not well put together. I am actually in a good mood from last night. So, I hope people have a good time with parents supporting kids. I hope my post is okay, see not many long responses yet. :) Guess this topic hit home.
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(response to fan)
I have a psychiatrist, but he's not successfully suportive. It's the opposite with me and health professionals. Glad yours is.
Other people, they seem to act like they roll their eyes a lot. It's not a nice habit. I do not listen to mean people.. who are in my life, but I mean I don't see myself roll my eyes.
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Parents gotta know their kid isn't better than the other kids, cuz the problems of life come when that's all that is hoped for with only 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. It's interesting some kids level themselves out so well self-esteem-wise that they feel like they "are something" and can make even a controversial statement of their life in front of their parents. I come home, and like I said to one lady on here, I used to ask them about having no friends and they acted like I didn't deserve it and had no advice. I used to have friends, but we moved from Florida. I didn't always have good friends in where all we lived in Florida. I didn't feel washed up, tho. My dad said he did everything right to himself have helped raise me except "maybe I didn't give you enough support." I find that suggestive now I think of it. It's funny to me, too. My mom stopped touching me when I was 9, had quit gymnastics I know, don't know why, maybe not exciting when she does at that point with a little brother who wants attention, but still. I started not wanting my dad to touch me. My parents pretty much get dinner and things together and we eat and not much interaction took place. These days, they are all at it in secret message, now that I think of it. My mom was into helping me get into college after my dad or aunt had me placed in a mental hospital probably because I was secretly sad I lost my 4.0. She was at me like moms today are with their teens my last year and a half of college. She got me into an arts school and got me to host a foreign exchange student (3/4 French from Germany.) My mom got me off on the right foot, but for some reason I was kicked outta my major after a year in college. I didn't memorize my piece cuz they added Music History. They said it was for being shy, tho. This didn't happen to others. I am sorry if my post is not well put together. I am actually in a good mood from last night. So, I hope people have a good time with parents supporting kids. I hope my post is okay, see not many long responses yet. :) Guess this topic hit home.
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(response to fan)
I have a psychiatrist, but he's not successfully suportive. It's the opposite with me and health professionals. Glad yours is.
Could Not Stay Asleep
I watched about alien abductions with proof. They had little pieces of iron in their legs, like as a tracker. It gave off electromagnetic signals, I think. They were black on the outside with charcoal. One lady had proof of a star system before it was discovered by asking the aliens. They become somewhat unconscious and forget the experience in its totality, I guess like a baby.
So, I got up and threw up my salad and some of what I ate a the movies. I feel better as of now, not sure if I'll be on pain medicine but gotta look after my heart. I feel as though the medicines I take do this to me. I don't need them. They are psychotic partly. I hope I can fall into a nice sleep. On TV, 1 guy was from where my dad's dad was from, and it seemed familiar. I do not know that side. They live in Scranton but also Cleveland. (Scranton is in NE PA., Cleveland the top of the US at the bend of a lower Great Lake.)
Earlier in bed, there was a thumping behind my neck. I heard it like a drumbeat. I think it was for my spine, which is why I had to throw up. The foot was too tight around it. I feel better sitting up now. I don't feel too much pain but a sense of irritation to get up to make my spine feel better somehow. LOL.
So, I got up and threw up my salad and some of what I ate a the movies. I feel better as of now, not sure if I'll be on pain medicine but gotta look after my heart. I feel as though the medicines I take do this to me. I don't need them. They are psychotic partly. I hope I can fall into a nice sleep. On TV, 1 guy was from where my dad's dad was from, and it seemed familiar. I do not know that side. They live in Scranton but also Cleveland. (Scranton is in NE PA., Cleveland the top of the US at the bend of a lower Great Lake.)
Earlier in bed, there was a thumping behind my neck. I heard it like a drumbeat. I think it was for my spine, which is why I had to throw up. The foot was too tight around it. I feel better sitting up now. I don't feel too much pain but a sense of irritation to get up to make my spine feel better somehow. LOL.
God Save Me!
I saw a Progressive commercial of someone getting sentenced, that lady who looks like a nurse.
I said Sweeney Todd was not to satisfactoriality from the previews but could not say I was sick and couldn't make it to the theater. Turns out, I'd say something else. It seems to have caught on-
Well, now, it's all about the kids, and I support it in that way because I can and was a fan- (I'd turn the issues inside and out for months. The weird things that kept coming.. Hard to recall-)
I said Sweeney Todd was not to satisfactoriality from the previews but could not say I was sick and couldn't make it to the theater. Turns out, I'd say something else. It seems to have caught on-
Well, now, it's all about the kids, and I support it in that way because I can and was a fan- (I'd turn the issues inside and out for months. The weird things that kept coming.. Hard to recall-)
What People Normally Do With My Behavior
They let it slide cuz I'm so good, but I don't really do anything. That's just the air I get.
Why is Ellen married?
Is it to give her something to do? She can still sleep with Portia even if she's not married! She'd still say yes.
Family Guy
They had a commercial about guns. They displayed Jesus and Moses using them to conquer the Romans. :| They said they thought guns were bad. Then, they said, no, only in the hands of dangerous minorities.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
response to fan
My parents hated me for asking why I had no friends all the time when we left Florida.
My parents hated me for asking why I had no friends all the time when we left Florida.
(earlier) IMDb - Mortdecai (2015)
Re: Please let this be the final nail in Depp's coffin
Yes, what will we do with the Baby Boomers "retiring from life?"
IMDb - The Soapbox
Re: Teenagers are NOT children.
Some people seem to stay children in saved ways they got by making sacrifices.
Johnny Depp supposedly marrying Amber Heard
It's all very exciting for her, she sets a good example. What about the rest of his female fans? None of them have much to say online, it seems. I've tried.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
May I add, too, she is very attractive, like Johnny Depp, who I just caught in Mortdecai.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
Why do people blame everyone of another heritage about the stress of the world on their backs??
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I used to have such bitterness in myself for my friends who when our classes were split befriended one another and wouldn't talk to me, not even during PE when I'd see them sitting out. They're not from Florida. They still claimed they were my friend.
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I used to have such bitterness in myself for my friends who when our classes were split befriended one another and wouldn't talk to me, not even during PE when I'd see them sitting out. They're not from Florida. They still claimed they were my friend.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
She is kinda like me. I'm stuck at home. I would be dysfunctional in a classroom setting. I was kicked outta college 3 times and flunked out 7 times. I moved home because I loved my parents more than my classmates. They called the police on me twice and I got hospitalized in a mental institute. They give you medicine and are of harsh quality, not to my surprise tho. They thought I'd be in jail. I was just throwing things and screaming about being kicked outta theater.
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(I "see" this, things like this but in different "ways," all the time. It's simply of interest.. Different things, similar structure. To a greater feel that's funny.. many differences, tho.)
Attractive adult figures catering towards the other people in a sorta life-affecting way.
(I'm not saying anything is wrong with how this was dealt with. I guess I'm just the one to say. Disclaimer: I have no problems with anything on the show, tho, just noticing. Interesting thing for others to talk about. This will make a difference in your life, and it's bad not to say what you feel ever anyone.)
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(I "see" this, things like this but in different "ways," all the time. It's simply of interest.. Different things, similar structure. To a greater feel that's funny.. many differences, tho.)
Attractive adult figures catering towards the other people in a sorta life-affecting way.
(I'm not saying anything is wrong with how this was dealt with. I guess I'm just the one to say. Disclaimer: I have no problems with anything on the show, tho, just noticing. Interesting thing for others to talk about. This will make a difference in your life, and it's bad not to say what you feel ever anyone.)
Dr. Phil
The 16-year-old blonde featured in this show was one of the prettiest people I've seen. She yelled at her parents a lot when they came to tell or ask her about something, like they were mistaken. I remember one was about borrowing her dad's iPad. Dr. Phil was honestly openly captivated by her. Her parents also found her very beautiful. I can tell the girl loves her parents but deserves better than living in a room yelling when people talk to her simply. She has an older sister with dyed black hair and a younger sister with medium brown hair. The youngest one is so sweet and like my personal favorite. She just deals with things and learns to think positively. I think she learned it in school these days. It's like having a peek at a secret world! I'm interested to see what other people thought of this episode.
What I'm up To
I have a hair mask on for 20 minutes.
I did 10 minutes of level 1 "Killer Abs."
I won a stuffed animal from one of those machines with the claw that gets the stuffed animal if you do it right. It wasn't one that I wanted.
I saw Johnny Depp in Mortdecai. He did pretty good with this cast.
I did 10 minutes of level 1 "Killer Abs."
I won a stuffed animal from one of those machines with the claw that gets the stuffed animal if you do it right. It wasn't one that I wanted.
I saw Johnny Depp in Mortdecai. He did pretty good with this cast.
Friday, January 30, 2015
Dr. Phil - Submission to Be on the Show
People overreact to things I do socially, emotionally, and in the school world. I went from a childhood of being accepted to being told suggestive things about what I do and do not deserve, often because of being mixed race, Eurasian. I made a website presentation of it here:
link
link
Gymnastics + Ballet
That's too much transportation for me.. might be fun to get a behind the scenes job at Macy's. Wonder how many hours I'd have to do, tho. I have to put my future somewhere. Trying to get in a movie, but I never get called back. Wonder if I will lose weight. I probably could. Might get bored when my Disney pass runs out. So, if they call me back from the wait list I'll have to say no for now. I'm always tired and hungry, anyway, so I have to give and take, too.
Ellen
Jimmy Fallon! This was pretty great! He was definitely great. Ellen seems to have more self-confidence.
Cia? Great musical performance. There was a dancer in front. The people were all standing in boxes. I saw a light go on between Ellen and the dancer but looked away part of it. Cia will sing for..the Grammys? soon??
They had some people roll down and knock down bowling pins. It was so funny!
Ellen is a great person. I love what she tries to do for others.
Calling it a night.
I'm both craving and bloating right now. Not much of the food I want in this (here) house.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
New Plans
Instead of Music Ed now, I will continue to "perform" and "work out" and do beginning adult gymnastics. There is also intermediate/advanced. I am on a waiting list. I will do ballet in its place until when I feel a need to start.
My goal in my head was to perform for money and then go back and get a Doctorate of Music Education. Sad thing is I am not finished with my Bachelor's. I think I only got 1 year done. Quickest I'd graduate disregarding general studies is possibly 2 years. I was burning out. Lotta people went there to waste money. They disappeared soon after the school year began. They looked cooler. I guess their parents must have supported them. I wonder if the way it wasn't so good socially is why I was told to leave, as well.
If I don't go back and can't get into Music Education, I dunno what I will do. Also, it seems hard to have a baby while in school! Especially with making money!!
I could always sell a video of me dancing or something and doing some gymnastics. I have good form. The dance is ballet. The other goal is to make it in a famous movie. I just don't know if I will lead in 1 way or the other, but now it seems like the other. To major in Music Education when I have the money to party in college. Or I might keep up performing? Argh! I need physical activity. Maybe I need to stay on a break from college and use money to exercise. I'll consider it a break, maybe. I wrote a book and maybe will write more. Maybe, I'll at least have pocket money. I don't see a future in the performing arts. Acting is a desperate field but also competitive. I will work on getting in shape, maybe, and see if that's good. I might want to stay in gymnastics, tho. I'd be one of the oldest gymnasts. This sounds like a good "project." I really wanna do the gymnastics. So, it'll be a break from college even more. :( I feel like I'm getting older. Before, it was the other way around. I was gonna miss out on the gymnastics/ballet. I got so excited cuz there's a wait list I'm on now. For now, also, I will go to Disney each week with my 2nd annual pass I've held since moving here 10 years ago and 9 years ago permanently.
So, to summarize, I was going to do Music Ed now. I decided to do gymnastics and ballet, while I take a break from college. It will be good for me. I will do Music Ed later. I may make money off selling something or getting in a movie, in which case I will have more money while in college. I wanted to go to college with the money I'd make being famous. I got excited when I was put on the beginning adult gymnastics wait list. They also have intermediate/advanced. :)
My goal in my head was to perform for money and then go back and get a Doctorate of Music Education. Sad thing is I am not finished with my Bachelor's. I think I only got 1 year done. Quickest I'd graduate disregarding general studies is possibly 2 years. I was burning out. Lotta people went there to waste money. They disappeared soon after the school year began. They looked cooler. I guess their parents must have supported them. I wonder if the way it wasn't so good socially is why I was told to leave, as well.
If I don't go back and can't get into Music Education, I dunno what I will do. Also, it seems hard to have a baby while in school! Especially with making money!!
I could always sell a video of me dancing or something and doing some gymnastics. I have good form. The dance is ballet. The other goal is to make it in a famous movie. I just don't know if I will lead in 1 way or the other, but now it seems like the other. To major in Music Education when I have the money to party in college. Or I might keep up performing? Argh! I need physical activity. Maybe I need to stay on a break from college and use money to exercise. I'll consider it a break, maybe. I wrote a book and maybe will write more. Maybe, I'll at least have pocket money. I don't see a future in the performing arts. Acting is a desperate field but also competitive. I will work on getting in shape, maybe, and see if that's good. I might want to stay in gymnastics, tho. I'd be one of the oldest gymnasts. This sounds like a good "project." I really wanna do the gymnastics. So, it'll be a break from college even more. :( I feel like I'm getting older. Before, it was the other way around. I was gonna miss out on the gymnastics/ballet. I got so excited cuz there's a wait list I'm on now. For now, also, I will go to Disney each week with my 2nd annual pass I've held since moving here 10 years ago and 9 years ago permanently.
So, to summarize, I was going to do Music Ed now. I decided to do gymnastics and ballet, while I take a break from college. It will be good for me. I will do Music Ed later. I may make money off selling something or getting in a movie, in which case I will have more money while in college. I wanted to go to college with the money I'd make being famous. I got excited when I was put on the beginning adult gymnastics wait list. They also have intermediate/advanced. :)
Where I Am
I've done some work on my Dr. Phil submission. I guess I need to be ready like I'm already there. I wanna go to bed early, guess I got until midnight. Maybe, go celebrate with some cake and a leisurely walk.
Oh, and work, my meds are in the way. I need a degree to do something I love. I also submit myself to act periodically, as they take submissions.
Oh, and work, my meds are in the way. I need a degree to do something I love. I also submit myself to act periodically, as they take submissions.
This is amazing!
I wrote like a sentence worth for each huge paragraph of around 10. Now to skeletalize it even further like the diagrams that make it on the sho'.
What I'm up To
I am rewriting my letter to the Dr. Phil show so it's more to the point and arranged.
Something to Make Me Feel Special This Summer
30 hours in the kid's classroom for college education classes, each requiring 15.
I think it's Summer A and the kids will be there 4 weeks. 1 class is 3 1/2 hours a day 2 days a week. The other is online. Diversity is in the classroom.. They have that kinda thing everywhere.
I think it's Summer A and the kids will be there 4 weeks. 1 class is 3 1/2 hours a day 2 days a week. The other is online. Diversity is in the classroom.. They have that kinda thing everywhere.
How Things Are Going
I have been doing laundry, did the dishes, made a cake, made supper of chicken burgers, made a list for new ingredients for a meatloaf. No, I didn't shower cuz I wa gonna work out. Maybe, I should shower up.
Dr. Phil - Twitter
I do have dreams of using a bong and hookah like the snake in Alice in Wonderland.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
When I posted on the Alice in Wonderland boards (flower) I learned how a bong and hookah (snake) worked by looking at various sites..
I am a good smoker. I smoked once so far. My mom watched then said to put it in a paper bag. I did suck it in 1 time, but the 2nd puff I did it how I'd like W/O inhaling, just in my mouth and I drew it back out..
I am a good smoker. I smoked once so far. My mom watched then said to put it in a paper bag. I did suck it in 1 time, but the 2nd puff I did it how I'd like W/O inhaling, just in my mouth and I drew it back out..
YouTube Comment
We Are Called
Wow! I sang this, on my YouTube. I used to play the melody and chords by ear. I still can. I like the real version better, tho. If I still had my piano and not just a keyboard from the flood, I'd play. You're so talented and that was played well!
Wow! I sang this, on my YouTube. I used to play the melody and chords by ear. I still can. I like the real version better, tho. If I still had my piano and not just a keyboard from the flood, I'd play. You're so talented and that was played well!
I feel confronted.
I had this friend who acts like it's so overly obvious I gotta be in trouble for something, some thing I don't know, but she's nat (not.) So, she joins up in life and goes on in life like nothing just happened and has kind parents. She is with people and has friends, supposedly.
Dr. Phil - Twitter
@DrPhil People have a habit of merely holding onto the past for different reasons. 😭 They did it "in the day." They wanna create grudges.
— Christina Barrett (@Christina4333) January 29, 2015
Feeling Refreshed
I just had a nice salad (lettuce, carrots, green and black olives) with oil and a banana.
IMDb - The Soapbox
I'd be good at Music Ed. I have dreams to do ballet and singing, too, maybe moreso ballet. I sing alone. It's fun to sing in a group.
Dr. Phil
--- Facebook ---
Not to sound disrespectful.. but m dad's dad was an alcoholic and died prematurely. 2 close great aunts I rarely see died as long time smokers. Me, I have diabetes now, probably partly from misdiagnosed schizophrenia, the pills. It's hard to come by healthy snacking, and I struggle sometimes to be awake. My parents have kicked me out the house a number of times. I was kicked outta my college major at 19 and it's put my future on the line. I never drink, tho.
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Yes, does she need help with alcohol abuse? Does she need a job? Homeless shelter? I've stayed at a homeless shelter for 2 nights. My mom took me out during the day.. They don't want you there during the day. The food is good, of course.
--- Twitter ---
(reuniting with enstranged, "addicted" loved one, 1st step)
Setting boundaries, for me.
Not to sound disrespectful.. but m dad's dad was an alcoholic and died prematurely. 2 close great aunts I rarely see died as long time smokers. Me, I have diabetes now, probably partly from misdiagnosed schizophrenia, the pills. It's hard to come by healthy snacking, and I struggle sometimes to be awake. My parents have kicked me out the house a number of times. I was kicked outta my college major at 19 and it's put my future on the line. I never drink, tho.
---
Yes, does she need help with alcohol abuse? Does she need a job? Homeless shelter? I've stayed at a homeless shelter for 2 nights. My mom took me out during the day.. They don't want you there during the day. The food is good, of course.
--- Twitter ---
(reuniting with enstranged, "addicted" loved one, 1st step)
Setting boundaries, for me.
My Morning So Far
I dreamed I was eating like Nestle or Nabisco cookies with M&M's in them. I woke up an had a disgusting cookie.
I had some GRITS while I made a cake and put away the dishes and washed some dishes. I had put in the laundry to dry and wash. I have at least 1 more full laundry load.
Cake is a bake'n. No more oil for my salad. :<
I had some GRITS while I made a cake and put away the dishes and washed some dishes. I had put in the laundry to dry and wash. I have at least 1 more full laundry load.
Cake is a bake'n. No more oil for my salad. :<
IMDb - The Soapbox
What career path is your life presently taken direction towards??
It seems I will be a music education genius who is in charge of the music world. I wanna sing but not be an opera singer. I wanna dance, but I want private ballet if I "make it" and am rich. I wanna be famous.
IMDb - The Soapbox
Are there 2 races or 3?
Whenever I see a full Asian poster/person, they seem to evaporate racially and float above me on the ladder of races.
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
I need a professional
to confess all the m********ing I've done. It was never that much, but it would be considered an inappropriate thing to have happen to oneself.
When I didn't live in Florida, I used to be able to just think it and experience a waterfall/splurge of physical feelings.
I like to do it cuz it's fun, but I never "really do it."
When I didn't live in Florida, I used to be able to just think it and experience a waterfall/splurge of physical feelings.
I like to do it cuz it's fun, but I never "really do it."
Ellen
The 1st lady who came on was really sweet. She was an obese African American woman. She was self-conscious and funny.
Usher was so smart and with it in his decisions of what statement to make in what he did on Ellen.
The 2 twin singers with curly partly white blonde hair from Canada with guitars were so cool! Their voices were so excited, and they've got their work cut out for them.
Ellen seemed rather with it and together, maybe frustrated maybe not! I did get a bit uncomfortable, but Ellen is Ellen and she choses what she does. It's too bad people ruin it for others in things. Some people want nothing but what's best, but people will come in and start preaching about torturing work and such.
Usher was so smart and with it in his decisions of what statement to make in what he did on Ellen.
The 2 twin singers with curly partly white blonde hair from Canada with guitars were so cool! Their voices were so excited, and they've got their work cut out for them.
Ellen seemed rather with it and together, maybe frustrated maybe not! I did get a bit uncomfortable, but Ellen is Ellen and she choses what she does. It's too bad people ruin it for others in things. Some people want nothing but what's best, but people will come in and start preaching about torturing work and such.
Gramma
I see she's behind a lot of the plot of the drama in my life. How wretched. All this punishment back and forth. Saying everyone's life is on edge and then not knowing what she just said/did.
I did make a post before, but my internet stopped. I saved it and forgot about it and deleted it.
I like my Gramma, but I don't like what she did. I didn't agree with her, and she almost killed my mom with cancer by bothering her.
I did make a post before, but my internet stopped. I saved it and forgot about it and deleted it.
I like my Gramma, but I don't like what she did. I didn't agree with her, and she almost killed my mom with cancer by bothering her.
Dr. Phil - Twitter
"Today’s Show: Is there ever a reason to defend someone who is physically violent toward you? #DrPhil #DefendingAbuse"
Yes. It's against the law to hurt them.
---
Someone could track you down, at least that's how it is with me. I guess you just gotta do something. If someone isn't locked up..
---
(call in abusive relationship)
What if it's just their attitude?
Yes. It's against the law to hurt them.
---
Someone could track you down, at least that's how it is with me. I guess you just gotta do something. If someone isn't locked up..
---
(call in abusive relationship)
What if it's just their attitude?
Dr. Phil - Facebook
@Tiffany Helean - Yes, people go on here for a moment of fame rather than stari their own sho'.
---
Yea, she was just in bunches of trouble. A nice girl tho. Glad to see her on the sho'.
---
Just think of all the people who freak out when they leave on the stove. I was taking a walk far away once when I did that.
---
I do keep an online journal of my problems so people can sort out the emotional abuse I suffer. Some people just flip me off about that. You never know who it will reach and people you know online to tap you in the right direction.
---
Everyone feels partially abused. My mom is sick recovering from cancer and cannot hold her own, "at this time." I wish the hurricane didn't affect where we were to live when my family was gonna make a split, but instead it was "a smash." I feel beat up. The way they do it is subtle. I need to practice more caring for myself at home. The only way I get off unnecessary meds is to leave home, but I'll never be ready stuck on the meds. I am starting to be awake in the morning for more time alone, so that might work. My parents even said stay tho sometimes they wanna throw me to the streets just for asking why they are mean politely like. They want me to learn to care for myself 1st, but on meds anyway I will lose a lot of energy. They can't say they wanna throw me out while they didn't let me leave when I asked. I'm 28, too. I almost got a job in Miami.
---
People here misinterpret my history. I did one thing slightly disobedient and it's enough to diagnose you with schizphrenia..
---
It's very hard to break a habit totally that you love that isn't simply wrong, like drugs.
---
Yea, she was just in bunches of trouble. A nice girl tho. Glad to see her on the sho'.
---
Just think of all the people who freak out when they leave on the stove. I was taking a walk far away once when I did that.
---
I do keep an online journal of my problems so people can sort out the emotional abuse I suffer. Some people just flip me off about that. You never know who it will reach and people you know online to tap you in the right direction.
---
Everyone feels partially abused. My mom is sick recovering from cancer and cannot hold her own, "at this time." I wish the hurricane didn't affect where we were to live when my family was gonna make a split, but instead it was "a smash." I feel beat up. The way they do it is subtle. I need to practice more caring for myself at home. The only way I get off unnecessary meds is to leave home, but I'll never be ready stuck on the meds. I am starting to be awake in the morning for more time alone, so that might work. My parents even said stay tho sometimes they wanna throw me to the streets just for asking why they are mean politely like. They want me to learn to care for myself 1st, but on meds anyway I will lose a lot of energy. They can't say they wanna throw me out while they didn't let me leave when I asked. I'm 28, too. I almost got a job in Miami.
---
People here misinterpret my history. I did one thing slightly disobedient and it's enough to diagnose you with schizphrenia..
---
It's very hard to break a habit totally that you love that isn't simply wrong, like drugs.
Dr. Phil
The 1st girl was very attractive. So, what was it she was there for? Oh yes, going to jail for a year for the police insisting she lit the house on fire. Her mom seems to trust her, so it seems unlikely.
The 2nd girl came for getting a video over 5 million views saying to accept a boy punishing you who like beats you up. She said a lot of things about it I quite didn't get. Robin said she was wrong, that her relationship was indeed wrong and abusive. The girl walked off when Phil said she wa merely an attention-getter, whatever that means. Maybe, that's why she said what she said, but I didn't find them saying that.
The 2nd girl came for getting a video over 5 million views saying to accept a boy punishing you who like beats you up. She said a lot of things about it I quite didn't get. Robin said she was wrong, that her relationship was indeed wrong and abusive. The girl walked off when Phil said she wa merely an attention-getter, whatever that means. Maybe, that's why she said what she said, but I didn't find them saying that.
Why Music Ed DMA
Singing - I will do it in that major, anyway. I don't wanna be an opera singer. What else is there to do? My old college even says, "Everyone sings." The singing major is a certain more outgoing personality of like loud, sloppy people..
Dance - I wanna just focus on ballet, but I don't have the money for private lessons. It's a nightmare. I can't keep up in class cuz I can't remember the steps cuz I did gymnastics.
Performance in general.. I want to be famous for performing, my singing and if I can get private ballet from money like acting or selling something. I want college on the side. Lotta dancers go into graphic design, others get cancer and die. (?) I did ballet to age 21. I "have it." I love to dance. I just can't afford it. I don't wanna do dance and nothing else, maybe. I also really wanna sing.
I'll get the DME by turning 37.
Dance - I wanna just focus on ballet, but I don't have the money for private lessons. It's a nightmare. I can't keep up in class cuz I can't remember the steps cuz I did gymnastics.
Performance in general.. I want to be famous for performing, my singing and if I can get private ballet from money like acting or selling something. I want college on the side. Lotta dancers go into graphic design, others get cancer and die. (?) I did ballet to age 21. I "have it." I love to dance. I just can't afford it. I don't wanna do dance and nothing else, maybe. I also really wanna sing.
I'll get the DME by turning 37.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
50 Shades? I am a big fan of fantasy, but I am no longer the age of a college student, which is why I don't know anything else about it.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
But Dr. Phil they'll just take me instead I'm over 18 and kicked outta the house!
Well, I've lost it.
I was supposed to be more careful in referencing people secretly. What did I think? I think people are scardy cats. They don't have to pay attention to me.
Schedule
I wonder if it's good I think I'll try to go to bed early and wake up early rather than the other way around. I don't have time alone in the house. I need to cook, do laundry, do the dishes. :) I'm a homebody now. I wonder how community college will go. In the summer, I think the TV shows take off.
Upsset
I wonder why I was denied to be on the Dr. Phil show. I made it to 2 submissions. I did ask if my topic was appropriate for the show when they asked for questions, and I submitted right away but was not accepted. I made a new submission I will keep resubmitting. I wonder if I should make a summary available sometime. 1 lady wrote 12 times to get on the show. See, it' about if someone beats you, not that your case was not good. So, you can keep resubmitting.
More to Talk About
Sometimes, I feel so violated that the bumps on the side of my arm prickle. On the side my dad is driving.
Trying Hard
not to be rude? I don't feel grudges ATM (at the moment.) When someone does something wrong, sometimes it matters. What I said wasn't addressed to anyone and may not make anyone feel better. It was all safe within the insult from the opposing parties.
Threats
See, I am not even reporting to the police and already 2 people on board "don't have it together."
Well, I figured it out. That person/those 2 people are the only ones with the big problem. It's the rest of the world okay. No one get close to them, tho.. too bad they are involved in me.
Well, I figured it out. That person/those 2 people are the only ones with the big problem. It's the rest of the world okay. No one get close to them, tho.. too bad they are involved in me.
Dr. Phil - Facebook - Response to Fan
Well, if there were no rules, the people in life worse off wouldn't care about mean people.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
She is playing a flimsy game. She says someone else can do things she actually did. She gets a response, that it's okay, but then she does things much worse.
More
Another big thing was the internet. I kept e-mailing friends and family tho they stopped e-mailing me and now I lost all my relationships. It was tips and things and saying I was finishing the last thought and apologizing for the spam. I finally got on other sites more and eventually the IMDb message boards and blogging. I got really mad at someone who likes me and now he doesn't talk to me but seems to wanna. Lotta people said I wasn't white racially, and I'd hit my wall if something happened, like a trigger response. I just kept punching holes in the walls thinking it would get them back. That's insane. That does nothing. I feel bad cuz my dad had to plaster it up while I was at the mental hospital. This went on a long time, maybe about a year. Lotta people when I was online wold act like I spammed in being detailed and kick me out of Johnny Depp message boards. I was even banned from IMDb a few times for no reason. This went on a long time. I was called an idiot. My name was Miss-Fastidious, and they said I was Fastidiot. I was trapped in my room, kicked outta school on a break to catch up on much needed rest, and this is my only outlet, not even seeing my family, and I experienced constant hatred like this online for years. Now, I just can't get anyone to comment on my blog in my forum. It seems like the years wasted away from when I got on at 21, all mesmerized by Tim Burton and Johnny Depp thinking I'd be discovered or find my way starring in a movie. I even lost my singing voice, how good it was. I thought that'd help with the acting. Now, I'm 28. I was kicked outta my college majors when I was 19 and left at 20. The medicine used to put me to sleep more. Since I started getting out more, I can stay awake longer and have a better attention span. Things might have turned out okay if I didn't curse on my blog, about the noises and when my dad made me mad. Lotta times I'd bleep out the bad words, but you'd know they were there. I'm sure I've slipped, at least with my dad, and said something.. but I don't think it was ever at him directly and openly. I skirted around those situations. I was mad, in general. I bet more people made me mad, as I have said. I feel the magic of what was promised to me is gone, too. This happened way, long before the cursing for like a year or a year and a half. I was cursing about the noises in my room that sent secret messages somehow in how they sounded that bothered me and hurt me and still do, tho I stopped cursing about it. I made it a point not to curse anyone out specifically.
Letter to Dr. Phil show
(I will keep resubmitting the same thing to see if I get tallied a spot, again, to some level in the game. I will probably edit.)
Hello, Dr. Phil show, my name is Christina Barrett, and I am a 28-year-old female who lives with my parents. I am Irish, Dutch, French, German, and 1/2 Dutch Chinese-Indonesian. I'm straight and single. My height is 5'3", and I have black hair and dark brown eyes. I look mostly Caucasian, but a lotta people seem to sense I am Asian.
So, I am from an interracial marriage. I felt even very young my life was just a contest where I couldn't feel anything but had to get things down so I could function emotionally and socially in my future. My parents just made sure I always had a good attitude and were suggestive to me in the silence if they sensed I did not like the things they did to me, treating me with a cold shoulder like I wasn't as good as my dad racially cuz I was darker supposedly and that I wasn't as attractive as my young-looking mother. This made it so I was rather dysfunctional. I always sensed those around me "knew the whole rap about me" from birth, like I have 2 parents with perfect manners. I feel them rolling their eyes at me that that didn't matter but that I would never be as social as most people, on top of the racial and differences issues. I suppose a lotta more obese women make me feel good about myself for being a more substantial person. However, there are so many ultra-skinny, spoiled brats of youth today. They get skinny, but they don't seem more holistic. I wake up each morning feeling I don't matter because of them, with their younger sexy mothers and youthful dads. People, I feel, do snap at me inconveniently for wanting to be thought of in the world as part of the youth socially. I feel no one wants me cuz I was told to leave college and get rest at home, but it's been 10 years and I think I'm going back to my old major now.
It seems that no matter what I do, my dad will try to secretly manipulate my life to hurt me cuz it came out when my dad came home just for fun, I said, "O, no," but he didn't say, "Don't say that, Christina." So, I kept doing it, probably assuming he knew it was a joke that I was just sad my homework was still not done after working - all - after - noon. I did stop when my mom told me. Eventually, 6th grade, I could no longer focus on studies and kept slowing down but did not want to think of why. I was tall off the charts but stayed short the rest of my life therein. I blame this sin for this. Perhaps, it's not in my dad to bring it up nor forgive me. I feel it's killing my life. I wonder about a lot of things, like why my dad's bank was gonna close, or, rather, merge, and we had to leave Florida. We'd been moving back and forth between the key areas of Florida.
In school, people would pick on me, probably for my race.
Another big thing on my conscious was when I was a younger kid, like 8, my cousins from Indonesia wrote to us. I forgot to write back, like I could not think of it around my mom. They had such nice stationary, and I didn't.
In my junior year of high school, I was called to the counselor, like I didn't look as good. I had a teacher for American History Advanced Placement/Gifted who said not to take the course simply if we didn't wanna take the AP test. I had a D in the 1st test, and I would lose my 4.0. I fell behind because of going to the counselor during class. I was in Physics, Advanced Math, and English IV. That New Year's Eve, I was taken to the mental hospital. I said not to make me take medicine, and they lied. I was told I had nothing wrong. They just called it schizophrenia. I threw some things mad in the house more recently and got sent to the mental hospital again, 2010. They said since it said I had schizophrenia before that I had it, along with bipolar and Autism - Aspergers. I was set on pills again. I got off. I went to college with a theater teacher I liked, and she and the class I felt picking at me and got sent away for overreacting, like hitting my folder with a pen or kicking chairs when mad. People in Orlando are extremely ridiculous in how mean they are in how they act to you. Things do change here, tho. I ended up in the hospital again, and now I have no freedom to get off medicine according to my mom. I think she's doing it to please my dad, who said if I went back after 2 times here, that he wouldn't come get me to come home. He acted like I got a big break by pleaing to come home, like maybe the psychiatrist isn't right. It was an out of place judgement.
I flunked out of 8 semesters of college. I kept being annoyed ever since Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) came out. No one knew the world would end up like it is today. There were noises that bothered me, and the classes were harder than high school. I had nothing near that hard. I do have 1 successful year of Music Education, Ballet, and Honors. They said I was too shy to sing and do Music Ed and to leave. This put my whole future on the line. I am now 28 with no college degree and wasn't working since high school. I am allowed to go back to a community college here, now, and take Music Education and singing again. Ever since we moved here to Orlando, people acted like they called me the N word, like I'd see them bend their arm or knee like an "N." The way they talked around me also suggested they could tell I was a failure and not even a member of the white race, tho I am not black.
The main reason I called to come here was cuz my whole life is messed up. These mistakes I mentioned. People all used to say I was perfect, nice, shy, sweet, and smart. Now, everyone I know for like 10 years it seems has been acting like I'm bad. It catches on so that it travels with me in public to people I don't know. Like all of them would act meanly around me, make noises that really bothered me. I think this drove me insane. I used to e-mail friends and family about helpful topics like spam but explaining myself and saying sorry for spamming. I have no real life friends. So, constantly, people act like I'm bad all around me, the general public. The people in my family and extended family act like they made some group decision to be mean with an attitude around me. I'm always surrounded by this. They do what the other people say they want done to me that's mean in attitude. They act like I did something but also that I'm not racially white. So, all around, people have attitudes towards me and bother me with like the sounds they make and have been for like 10 years. I know cuz it happened after I flunked out of college. It's not my fault it was too hard. I just was too irresponsible to to withdraw on time. Even people I meet can sense I did something bad somehow. I can tell. Every time I go out of my room and see someone, this happens. I can't even concentrate in private.
I have other issues. I'm not here to let you say you force me to get closer to my dad nor mom. I am not from LA and am from New Orleans and I know I am a grown-up who passed the test into adult independency. I like my parents, but I want to get closer to other people. No one knows how. I am on social media, such as Facebook, and I don't have much luck with it, these days. I've had so many acocunts. I've lost friends. I am here to get to know people, not crawl into a hole with my own parents, like they are strangers to me I need to meet. I don't feel sexually close to them as I do with others, and I am guessing my parents are just like that. I don't get to talk to others much, but I am more attracted to them than I am to my parents, tho I also love my parents, of course. I'm here to settle the score with why I don't know many people and not at all to learn to bond with my parents. If my parents treat me one way, so do people in public. It's people in public I wanna know who have problems with me. I can tell by some of what I've seen of the more typical people. I will say I think my parents are mad at me and treat me with an attitude because of the things I did I mentioned. I really don't like a fractured family. They can't seem to act like I don't have a problem, too.
Also, there are speakers and cameras planted around my room. They can make noises and affect how the page loads. This has been bothering me that they are mad at me. They used to be "secret lovers" and I want that back, instead. They don't have to do anything, tho, especially if they don't really like me. They act like my dad decided the bad things for me, but it seems also that even my Gramma and others have. Even before this happened, I could not concentrate because I could see my dad no longer accepted me. I had to look out for being called the N word in secret message by others since another event. I thought someone online saying I wasn't white with different IMDb Message Boards accounts wanted me to call them the N word so I did. Now I am in trouble and it was the last straw. It seems like the whole world found out and no one will be as nice to me as before nor praise me about all that I am, just because of this. I suppose the worst dagger was when the noises started. I cursed about them and sometimes about my dad's being mean. I was careful and didn't try to scar them, just curse about my anger and not so much about people totally. That's the straw that then broke the camel's back. No one will forgive me. I guess it was wrong, but lotta popular people curse.. It was a way to express myself. I thought the curse words were funny, but they call such a reaction. I grew up never cursing, see. So, this meant something was wrong, not me being possessed all of a sudden.
Here is a list of problems up on my website:
http://christinabarrett4.wix.com/official#!trouble/c1ym6
http://christinabarrett4.wix.com/official#!life-problems/cia0
http://christinabarrett4.wix.com/official#!complaints/c19hh
http://christinabarrett4.wix.com/official#!my-sins/c1xmw
http://www.christinabarrett.com/search/label/Problems
Thank you, Dr. Phil show.
Sincerely,
Christina Barrett
Hello, Dr. Phil show, my name is Christina Barrett, and I am a 28-year-old female who lives with my parents. I am Irish, Dutch, French, German, and 1/2 Dutch Chinese-Indonesian. I'm straight and single. My height is 5'3", and I have black hair and dark brown eyes. I look mostly Caucasian, but a lotta people seem to sense I am Asian.
So, I am from an interracial marriage. I felt even very young my life was just a contest where I couldn't feel anything but had to get things down so I could function emotionally and socially in my future. My parents just made sure I always had a good attitude and were suggestive to me in the silence if they sensed I did not like the things they did to me, treating me with a cold shoulder like I wasn't as good as my dad racially cuz I was darker supposedly and that I wasn't as attractive as my young-looking mother. This made it so I was rather dysfunctional. I always sensed those around me "knew the whole rap about me" from birth, like I have 2 parents with perfect manners. I feel them rolling their eyes at me that that didn't matter but that I would never be as social as most people, on top of the racial and differences issues. I suppose a lotta more obese women make me feel good about myself for being a more substantial person. However, there are so many ultra-skinny, spoiled brats of youth today. They get skinny, but they don't seem more holistic. I wake up each morning feeling I don't matter because of them, with their younger sexy mothers and youthful dads. People, I feel, do snap at me inconveniently for wanting to be thought of in the world as part of the youth socially. I feel no one wants me cuz I was told to leave college and get rest at home, but it's been 10 years and I think I'm going back to my old major now.
It seems that no matter what I do, my dad will try to secretly manipulate my life to hurt me cuz it came out when my dad came home just for fun, I said, "O, no," but he didn't say, "Don't say that, Christina." So, I kept doing it, probably assuming he knew it was a joke that I was just sad my homework was still not done after working - all - after - noon. I did stop when my mom told me. Eventually, 6th grade, I could no longer focus on studies and kept slowing down but did not want to think of why. I was tall off the charts but stayed short the rest of my life therein. I blame this sin for this. Perhaps, it's not in my dad to bring it up nor forgive me. I feel it's killing my life. I wonder about a lot of things, like why my dad's bank was gonna close, or, rather, merge, and we had to leave Florida. We'd been moving back and forth between the key areas of Florida.
In school, people would pick on me, probably for my race.
Another big thing on my conscious was when I was a younger kid, like 8, my cousins from Indonesia wrote to us. I forgot to write back, like I could not think of it around my mom. They had such nice stationary, and I didn't.
In my junior year of high school, I was called to the counselor, like I didn't look as good. I had a teacher for American History Advanced Placement/Gifted who said not to take the course simply if we didn't wanna take the AP test. I had a D in the 1st test, and I would lose my 4.0. I fell behind because of going to the counselor during class. I was in Physics, Advanced Math, and English IV. That New Year's Eve, I was taken to the mental hospital. I said not to make me take medicine, and they lied. I was told I had nothing wrong. They just called it schizophrenia. I threw some things mad in the house more recently and got sent to the mental hospital again, 2010. They said since it said I had schizophrenia before that I had it, along with bipolar and Autism - Aspergers. I was set on pills again. I got off. I went to college with a theater teacher I liked, and she and the class I felt picking at me and got sent away for overreacting, like hitting my folder with a pen or kicking chairs when mad. People in Orlando are extremely ridiculous in how mean they are in how they act to you. Things do change here, tho. I ended up in the hospital again, and now I have no freedom to get off medicine according to my mom. I think she's doing it to please my dad, who said if I went back after 2 times here, that he wouldn't come get me to come home. He acted like I got a big break by pleaing to come home, like maybe the psychiatrist isn't right. It was an out of place judgement.
I flunked out of 8 semesters of college. I kept being annoyed ever since Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) came out. No one knew the world would end up like it is today. There were noises that bothered me, and the classes were harder than high school. I had nothing near that hard. I do have 1 successful year of Music Education, Ballet, and Honors. They said I was too shy to sing and do Music Ed and to leave. This put my whole future on the line. I am now 28 with no college degree and wasn't working since high school. I am allowed to go back to a community college here, now, and take Music Education and singing again. Ever since we moved here to Orlando, people acted like they called me the N word, like I'd see them bend their arm or knee like an "N." The way they talked around me also suggested they could tell I was a failure and not even a member of the white race, tho I am not black.
The main reason I called to come here was cuz my whole life is messed up. These mistakes I mentioned. People all used to say I was perfect, nice, shy, sweet, and smart. Now, everyone I know for like 10 years it seems has been acting like I'm bad. It catches on so that it travels with me in public to people I don't know. Like all of them would act meanly around me, make noises that really bothered me. I think this drove me insane. I used to e-mail friends and family about helpful topics like spam but explaining myself and saying sorry for spamming. I have no real life friends. So, constantly, people act like I'm bad all around me, the general public. The people in my family and extended family act like they made some group decision to be mean with an attitude around me. I'm always surrounded by this. They do what the other people say they want done to me that's mean in attitude. They act like I did something but also that I'm not racially white. So, all around, people have attitudes towards me and bother me with like the sounds they make and have been for like 10 years. I know cuz it happened after I flunked out of college. It's not my fault it was too hard. I just was too irresponsible to to withdraw on time. Even people I meet can sense I did something bad somehow. I can tell. Every time I go out of my room and see someone, this happens. I can't even concentrate in private.
I have other issues. I'm not here to let you say you force me to get closer to my dad nor mom. I am not from LA and am from New Orleans and I know I am a grown-up who passed the test into adult independency. I like my parents, but I want to get closer to other people. No one knows how. I am on social media, such as Facebook, and I don't have much luck with it, these days. I've had so many acocunts. I've lost friends. I am here to get to know people, not crawl into a hole with my own parents, like they are strangers to me I need to meet. I don't feel sexually close to them as I do with others, and I am guessing my parents are just like that. I don't get to talk to others much, but I am more attracted to them than I am to my parents, tho I also love my parents, of course. I'm here to settle the score with why I don't know many people and not at all to learn to bond with my parents. If my parents treat me one way, so do people in public. It's people in public I wanna know who have problems with me. I can tell by some of what I've seen of the more typical people. I will say I think my parents are mad at me and treat me with an attitude because of the things I did I mentioned. I really don't like a fractured family. They can't seem to act like I don't have a problem, too.
Also, there are speakers and cameras planted around my room. They can make noises and affect how the page loads. This has been bothering me that they are mad at me. They used to be "secret lovers" and I want that back, instead. They don't have to do anything, tho, especially if they don't really like me. They act like my dad decided the bad things for me, but it seems also that even my Gramma and others have. Even before this happened, I could not concentrate because I could see my dad no longer accepted me. I had to look out for being called the N word in secret message by others since another event. I thought someone online saying I wasn't white with different IMDb Message Boards accounts wanted me to call them the N word so I did. Now I am in trouble and it was the last straw. It seems like the whole world found out and no one will be as nice to me as before nor praise me about all that I am, just because of this. I suppose the worst dagger was when the noises started. I cursed about them and sometimes about my dad's being mean. I was careful and didn't try to scar them, just curse about my anger and not so much about people totally. That's the straw that then broke the camel's back. No one will forgive me. I guess it was wrong, but lotta popular people curse.. It was a way to express myself. I thought the curse words were funny, but they call such a reaction. I grew up never cursing, see. So, this meant something was wrong, not me being possessed all of a sudden.
Here is a list of problems up on my website:
http://christinabarrett4.wix.com/official#!trouble/c1ym6
http://christinabarrett4.wix.com/official#!life-problems/cia0
http://christinabarrett4.wix.com/official#!complaints/c19hh
http://christinabarrett4.wix.com/official#!my-sins/c1xmw
http://www.christinabarrett.com/search/label/Problems
Thank you, Dr. Phil show.
Sincerely,
Christina Barrett
Curious
I encouraged Chloe Grace Moretz to eat bacon, and I noticed she gained some meat. I know my meds make me even fatter and I tried some'a my bacon, which is not cooked much.
I asked Jackie Evancho if she got to use gym equipment prematurely cuz she looked "pumped up." It seemed a bit dangerous. Now, her neck is kinda big as in long. I hope I didn't do that. I told her I did gymnastics and dance, in hopes she'd reconsider. Didn't know she'd just stop, didn't know itd make her neck so long. She musta done it, tho. Like, I seen people who want a long neck. I tried to shrink my neck when I started to see it looking long.
I asked Jackie Evancho if she got to use gym equipment prematurely cuz she looked "pumped up." It seemed a bit dangerous. Now, her neck is kinda big as in long. I hope I didn't do that. I told her I did gymnastics and dance, in hopes she'd reconsider. Didn't know she'd just stop, didn't know itd make her neck so long. She musta done it, tho. Like, I seen people who want a long neck. I tried to shrink my neck when I started to see it looking long.
Is it worth it that I hardly know anyone and teens are made to feel pleasurably dizzy in an outwardly comfortable way about how they fit in a generation??
Family Guy, Wonka is on. The Oompa Loompas just collected a bad egg, so-to-speak. You know, there are problems and they just come in and exterminate?
Family Guy, Wonka is on. The Oompa Loompas just collected a bad egg, so-to-speak. You know, there are problems and they just come in and exterminate?
Other Choices
I could get a note from my psychiatrist to go back to my old community college. They have dance. I want to do music, too.. and I love art. Their dance style may not be suited to my needs. I want to earn money to get a private ballet instructor. I am now like jogging every day with weights. I probably lost a lotta ballet skill at this point. I just can't see myself okaying the current option. Music Education, basically involves your major instrument or singing, and I chose General Music Ed with singing as my "instrument." It is a nice twist on something I like. I like the science of music, like soaking it in like that. I love the idea of presenting myself for children. In the summer, I can do courses that require 15 hours of teaching. With the DME, I can train other teachers, research as they do at the doctorate level, etc. I also love science labs. College will always give me something to do. I guess I should stick with one thing. I can take other courses for fun if I wanted, but what you do is get good at one thing with related things. I guess science would help with music, physics. I am guessing scientists do some of that work. I just wanna fit in with my age, too. There will be people older than me coming back to get their Masterns and Doctorates, I assume. I didn't know what I wanted, at 1st. I am glad I am doing 1/2 my degree at a community college. I plan to go to UCF maybe for the BME. They have a program in General Studies. It is considered a prestigious university and more "clean cut." I might get into the private school, might be a good environment.
IMDb - The Soapbox
Should I pursue a DME or Performing Arts?
DME - Doctorate of Music Educaiton
Performing Arts
All I can say is I wanna have gone to college even if I were a famous actress.
So, in the summer, I'm starting. Education. In the fall Music. Then General Studies, so that's about 2 years.
Performing Arts
All I can say is I wanna have gone to college even if I were a famous actress.
So, in the summer, I'm starting. Education. In the fall Music. Then General Studies, so that's about 2 years.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
Response to Fan
I had a hard time in college cuz I wasn't used to lecturing and such. I think I will get an AA 1st before continuing on in Music Ed to the DME level (doctorate of Music Ed. Yes, you could ge ta PhD, instead, which seems more like a BA than a BME or BM, fyi.) It's sad to see on'e future jeapordized for silly little resaons in college, cuz we need life to go smoothly so bad things don't hapen.
I had a hard time in college cuz I wasn't used to lecturing and such. I think I will get an AA 1st before continuing on in Music Ed to the DME level (doctorate of Music Ed. Yes, you could ge ta PhD, instead, which seems more like a BA than a BME or BM, fyi.) It's sad to see on'e future jeapordized for silly little resaons in college, cuz we need life to go smoothly so bad things don't hapen.
Ellen
She's having a nice birthday week, in a way.
The guy who came on from Black and White was nice. I might go see it. I wanted to catch Mortdecai.
I don't remember anyone else on it.
So, the guy said the movie was about a multiracial child. She does look all African American. I think African Americans should learn more about themselves. I think cavemen came 1st and they went and got dark skin. So, we're all related like that. I'm not sure why Asians are so weird, some. They can be strict and mad and possessive. If they read this, I'd be in some trouble. I just don't like that they really are no better than anyone else cuz I know they'd like all white people and Native American indians themselves over me.
So, nice show. Hope Ellen has a good birthday week! The people in the audience look so happy. I hope her fans are having a good time. I wonder if they knew her since before internet. I'm glad she's catching onto different famous people, at least. I wish her fans would talk to me on my forum. I could post it or send it to her and she could read your writing.
The guy who came on from Black and White was nice. I might go see it. I wanted to catch Mortdecai.
I don't remember anyone else on it.
So, the guy said the movie was about a multiracial child. She does look all African American. I think African Americans should learn more about themselves. I think cavemen came 1st and they went and got dark skin. So, we're all related like that. I'm not sure why Asians are so weird, some. They can be strict and mad and possessive. If they read this, I'd be in some trouble. I just don't like that they really are no better than anyone else cuz I know they'd like all white people and Native American indians themselves over me.
So, nice show. Hope Ellen has a good birthday week! The people in the audience look so happy. I hope her fans are having a good time. I wonder if they knew her since before internet. I'm glad she's catching onto different famous people, at least. I wish her fans would talk to me on my forum. I could post it or send it to her and she could read your writing.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
I didn't check yesterday. It takes so long to load! All the posts are so nonsensical. Why don't they have blog readers, instead? Twitter seems fun on-the-go. I didn't watch Ellen's birthday sho'. I am gonna watch today's after I eat, I guess. Guess I'll just hang. I really want mac and cheese. Maybe will be up for a salad tomorrow?
Dr. Phil - Twitter
You mean if someone "has an issue?" Yes, they might avert being direct.
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Well, my brother seems more interesting in different ways, but we don't share a home.
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Yes, it's an excellent thing to chose to do. It's a job where intelligence comes in interesting forms.
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I think it all has been messed up by careless adult figures who don't wish to be adults to children who aren't as much younger.
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Well, my brother seems more interesting in different ways, but we don't share a home.
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Yes, it's an excellent thing to chose to do. It's a job where intelligence comes in interesting forms.
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I think it all has been messed up by careless adult figures who don't wish to be adults to children who aren't as much younger.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
It is twisted that the father wants to keep the girls away from their mother. I say give the girls to the mother. The police do not listen to people after they know someone reported them and make unfair judgements and do not listen to the alleged perpetrater. They do not think that maybe there is something wrong with the perpetrater, that they had been mistreated.
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That girl has a right to her own children, and if someone called the police on me that I did that, I'd be thrown in jail.
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My therapist seemed concerned I indicated or hinted that I was like being abused emotionally by my dad. I asked why he was mean and said he lied, and he wanted to eventually throw me out the house that second or drop me off on the street, after making fun of me in life that I was sheltered and not allowed to like watch PG13 movies at any age even after 13. That's quite bipolar? When we drive and stuff he acts like he suddenly tries to get close to me, tho he always has a negative attitude about me and "what I've done" he thinks.. failing school, slipping my tongue to a degree, etc.
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Post modern, or what's called like "post-post-modern/contemporary.." times is affected in every facet of life, from music to divorce to who knows what, the creation and deletion of certain jobs I'd think. I don't hear of anything big these days, like IT and some other positions that were common. It's probably the creation and deletion of bad kinds of music, too, in fact. On the topic more, modern you say to mean means more bending of the rules of family and existence. I don't really hear of "the importance of family," anymore, like everyone is socially rebelling. My family is modern insofar as I ended up "needing" a break from school or work and live at home with my parents at 28 still. I'm gonna get "in" and plant myself in community college this summer. I'm in on a grown-up's educational path, my original major of Music Education. So, the way people have families at odds is more natural than one thinks, like kids still seeing mom and dad. My parents hardy -ever- see their moms. It was about us kids and their ways of "secretly disciplining us" pretending we were good for image but telling us we weren't that good on the inside in how they treated each of us. They find it impossible to parent in the modern world and we almost were able to maybe all split up somehow.
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(a girl saying a boy hitting you means love)
A lotta people would understand that. My good ole dad taught me that people bothering you means they are trying to get your "attention." That's a really big thing to know in life. Good luck on reception of this episode. I dunno, sometimes when I say something I mean it. It means I want more of you. I'm upset no one was really ever together. Do I have an STD?
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That girl has a right to her own children, and if someone called the police on me that I did that, I'd be thrown in jail.
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My therapist seemed concerned I indicated or hinted that I was like being abused emotionally by my dad. I asked why he was mean and said he lied, and he wanted to eventually throw me out the house that second or drop me off on the street, after making fun of me in life that I was sheltered and not allowed to like watch PG13 movies at any age even after 13. That's quite bipolar? When we drive and stuff he acts like he suddenly tries to get close to me, tho he always has a negative attitude about me and "what I've done" he thinks.. failing school, slipping my tongue to a degree, etc.
---
Post modern, or what's called like "post-post-modern/contemporary.." times is affected in every facet of life, from music to divorce to who knows what, the creation and deletion of certain jobs I'd think. I don't hear of anything big these days, like IT and some other positions that were common. It's probably the creation and deletion of bad kinds of music, too, in fact. On the topic more, modern you say to mean means more bending of the rules of family and existence. I don't really hear of "the importance of family," anymore, like everyone is socially rebelling. My family is modern insofar as I ended up "needing" a break from school or work and live at home with my parents at 28 still. I'm gonna get "in" and plant myself in community college this summer. I'm in on a grown-up's educational path, my original major of Music Education. So, the way people have families at odds is more natural than one thinks, like kids still seeing mom and dad. My parents hardy -ever- see their moms. It was about us kids and their ways of "secretly disciplining us" pretending we were good for image but telling us we weren't that good on the inside in how they treated each of us. They find it impossible to parent in the modern world and we almost were able to maybe all split up somehow.
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(a girl saying a boy hitting you means love)
A lotta people would understand that. My good ole dad taught me that people bothering you means they are trying to get your "attention." That's a really big thing to know in life. Good luck on reception of this episode. I dunno, sometimes when I say something I mean it. It means I want more of you. I'm upset no one was really ever together. Do I have an STD?
Dr. Phil
I think he is smarter than me cuz he gave Point A and Point B. He said the children are no safe with such and such. Simple as that. I said just give the kids back to the mom because the situation with the other parents was inappropriate. I think they were all nice, maybe had some prerogatives of their own, as people I come across seem to have. I'd have to say no to the man cuz he seemed to wanna hurt me. I don't want to simply put myself in a situation. I already know that. If someone wants to off me cuz I'm there, I say no. I do something back or leave. I can't tell the police. Because it was just how they acted, their attitude. Also, if it was someone who did something to me, they would get back and know I told. Unless, I know I could get'm for good, I guess, but that sounds really weird and dangerous. I think that the mother/grandma was a bit harsh but more considerate than the guy. I think they are good together. She wants someone who will do something to her without backing off, backing off in love. I think that girl, who is nice, need' to get in rehab. I think there should be a court order to put the girls elsewhere, even if with the drug addict mom. Lotta parents secretly do drugs. They don't abuse children.
IMDb - The Soapbox
Feeling Really Bad
I said I didn't like these people pretending to be someone watching me in my room. They simply are not stopping. This has gone on, awhile.
And they say it's cuz of something I did tops it off..
And they say it's cuz of something I did tops it off..
What I Wanna Take
1 - Child/Adolescent (infancy thru adolesence)
2 - Adult Learner (higher education)
2 - Adult Learner (higher education)
My E-Mail to the Department of Education @ a Community College
I want to get a DME, a doctorate of music education. Would the AA in Music Ed at Seminole State be a good foundation? Didn't it used to list more music courses, like the BME? They take music theory? I think I have enough music electives. Should I take music theory, anyway? Thanks. I have a meeting set with someone in Music for the fall. He wants to see me in September, as of now. Also, do you know why SS took away sports and ballet/dance? Why did they do that now? I think the Music Education program looks like more fun. I believe in the graduate level, they are more music courses. I know I wanna do summer school and music you have to start in the Fall. Maybe, I can take some Education courses then.
I see Introduction to the Teaching Profession and Introduction to Diversity for Educators are available in the summer. It says we need 6 hours of international/diversity/modern foreign language. 1 of these requirements is already listed, so we need 3 or 6 more education hours than the courses already listed here: https://www.seminolestate.edu/education/aadegrees/edu-mus? I plan to come into the school sometime, to ask some questions, in case you don't understand me.
From the looks of it, I think I will take Music Theory, in the fall and spring. I might have to do my general studies later. I don't know what I will be advised to take when. I'm not looking for a heavy course load. I guess I will take the 2 education courses in the summer. The tech course I can take maybe next year. Perhaps, I will still take private voice when I'm finished with the other requirements an dam working on general studies. I do have an interest in music performance, as well, in singing. I took piano/organ/voice my 1st year. So, I'll do 2 courses of education in the summer and focus on music in the fall and spring or whatever the adviser tells me to do with a light enough course load yet at a pace that is conducive to my future.
I am 28 years old, by the way. Music Education was my original major. I went on a break and got "sick."
Thanks!
Sincerely,
Christina Barrett
I see Introduction to the Teaching Profession and Introduction to Diversity for Educators are available in the summer. It says we need 6 hours of international/diversity/modern foreign language. 1 of these requirements is already listed, so we need 3 or 6 more education hours than the courses already listed here: https://www.seminolestate.edu/education/aadegrees/edu-mus? I plan to come into the school sometime, to ask some questions, in case you don't understand me.
From the looks of it, I think I will take Music Theory, in the fall and spring. I might have to do my general studies later. I don't know what I will be advised to take when. I'm not looking for a heavy course load. I guess I will take the 2 education courses in the summer. The tech course I can take maybe next year. Perhaps, I will still take private voice when I'm finished with the other requirements an dam working on general studies. I do have an interest in music performance, as well, in singing. I took piano/organ/voice my 1st year. So, I'll do 2 courses of education in the summer and focus on music in the fall and spring or whatever the adviser tells me to do with a light enough course load yet at a pace that is conducive to my future.
I am 28 years old, by the way. Music Education was my original major. I went on a break and got "sick."
Thanks!
Sincerely,
Christina Barrett
Music Education
It seems they made it more into an Education AA rather than a Music AA. They also took out sports and dance. Ever since I "got in trouble" at another community college. Who's meddling in my life?
Letting Go
I did seem mad at someone, but I guess you just wanna be the judge of what happens. True, it's not good. I'm just a bit out of it, maybe from living in Orlando. Everyone is always racist and tells me it's cuz I'm bad. I dunno what to do. I told you what I really mean and it just came off that way. I dunno. My dad had just annoyed me a lot, too. I bet he made it that way, which I don't like. I'm pretty sure, for I know I mean what I mean. It just seems bad.
IMDb - The Soapbox
People watching me pretend to be a person all the time.
There are cameras and speakers around my room, apparently.
They load the page and make noises like a person, and tho I like the person, I do not like whatever they are doing.
😩
They load the page and make noises like a person, and tho I like the person, I do not like whatever they are doing.
😩
How I Was Upset
Seems maybe I was upset at someone innocent, but I'll have you know I can't do that and was upset perhaps at the source simply cuz it was the source. I was upset tho that this person is taking over my life. I see them around, and it can be okay an often desired. I don't wish to follow this. Do I wanna be upset? Well, no, but my feelings are hurt and I'm annoyed. It takes over every facet of my life in ways, socially.
Problems
Well, I woke up happy, as usual, and my parents had a bad attitude towards me. My dad is crazy and wants me to act self-hating that he thinks I did things wrong that I didn't.. I don't mean to think these bad words, but I think he quickly made me think them.
Something I just couldn't stand was that someone made it start that someone will always steal attention from me cuz I cursed about them on my blog, well at what they did I think moreover. I was taken aback if I did it at them and even had to use my dad as a scapegoat, who was really mean to me. I never tried to scar him when I did.
Something else is that they said I did something to deserve to listen to them act like they are some person watching me all the time.
Someone is mad and manipulative over my life, too.
The person they are acting as is false and annoying. She doesn't really do that, what they do as her, to me. I don't really wanna listen to this person being recreated in my room 24/7. They said I did something. I got upset on my blog. Someone's just a stickler for all caps and "all up in my business." They've acted like this person since mid-2012. It can't hurt anyone's feelings if I don't wanna do this. No one would really want me as that. I can admit it.
I'm upset at what's at stake. It might not matter to you, but it matters to me. They were at it, or my dad was, at supper. Whatever he did was annoying and I wanted it to stop the whole time. Did you know my dad is glued to my mom, as well as me, being attractive as girls? Yet, when I say something, he just ignores that and tramples over me. He thinks my mom is better and thinks I'm not cuz I'm related to him or maybe his mom or something. I dunno, I just come out for supper and he acts all large and in charge and manipulative. I feel kinda trained and affected by him. He doesn't do that to my mom, but he does something. It wasn't really all about something important, he was just really whiny, like he thought he could get close to me but can't or something, cuz he thinks I only deserve it in a way that he hates me. I'd describe his emotions towards me as a kid as more like a businessman, his hugs very "cool" and businessy. They don't have to dress up anymore, neither, I've seen in certain situations thru the years. I bet the girls are dressier than the guys, these days..
So, he was just kinda mad at me in general. Something was the issue near the beginning. I can't change what people wanna give to me, of course, but I didn't like what they claimed I did. How perverted.
I am a bit upset that my dad must be upset at me for thinking, like, "No, stop it," all the time. This is all very ridiculous, my problems, from people like my dad just wanting to be mean with no reasoning behind it.
I know what they are doing about that person, but they said I did something to deserve it. I'm not taking any of that from anyone. I don't know how to get it to stop, but I sure don't "accept" it. Esp. if it's all supposedly something I deserve. I know this person thinks that me and other deserve meanness. That's something else. They even said they were too embarrassed to say if something was wrong, as though they didn't know what was gonna happen.
It's a bit upsetting. Who wants to know someone with a life like mine? People think I'm either too old or too young. Can that be true? No one has to pay attention to me. When they do, I try to be nice, but some of them or a lot are older and I just can't provide some things. I have a great magnetation to people my age. On TV yesterday was a girl who looked my age talking about science and ghosts, in war. I think people don't realize all the time how bad war really is. It's not a service but a sacrifice.
So, I am always nice, but my dad keeps hurting me. My mom barged in when something seemed bad about me, and he was wheezy and said she needed her meds. I was upset but didn't really hurt her. She made it up. I just said it in a way that wasn't submissive and she tried to "suck out my soul.." I think it might be because my dad was there. I try to be nice to everyone, but I just couldn't ignore my dad's constant shuffling around.
Something I just couldn't stand was that someone made it start that someone will always steal attention from me cuz I cursed about them on my blog, well at what they did I think moreover. I was taken aback if I did it at them and even had to use my dad as a scapegoat, who was really mean to me. I never tried to scar him when I did.
Something else is that they said I did something to deserve to listen to them act like they are some person watching me all the time.
Someone is mad and manipulative over my life, too.
The person they are acting as is false and annoying. She doesn't really do that, what they do as her, to me. I don't really wanna listen to this person being recreated in my room 24/7. They said I did something. I got upset on my blog. Someone's just a stickler for all caps and "all up in my business." They've acted like this person since mid-2012. It can't hurt anyone's feelings if I don't wanna do this. No one would really want me as that. I can admit it.
I'm upset at what's at stake. It might not matter to you, but it matters to me. They were at it, or my dad was, at supper. Whatever he did was annoying and I wanted it to stop the whole time. Did you know my dad is glued to my mom, as well as me, being attractive as girls? Yet, when I say something, he just ignores that and tramples over me. He thinks my mom is better and thinks I'm not cuz I'm related to him or maybe his mom or something. I dunno, I just come out for supper and he acts all large and in charge and manipulative. I feel kinda trained and affected by him. He doesn't do that to my mom, but he does something. It wasn't really all about something important, he was just really whiny, like he thought he could get close to me but can't or something, cuz he thinks I only deserve it in a way that he hates me. I'd describe his emotions towards me as a kid as more like a businessman, his hugs very "cool" and businessy. They don't have to dress up anymore, neither, I've seen in certain situations thru the years. I bet the girls are dressier than the guys, these days..
So, he was just kinda mad at me in general. Something was the issue near the beginning. I can't change what people wanna give to me, of course, but I didn't like what they claimed I did. How perverted.
I am a bit upset that my dad must be upset at me for thinking, like, "No, stop it," all the time. This is all very ridiculous, my problems, from people like my dad just wanting to be mean with no reasoning behind it.
I know what they are doing about that person, but they said I did something to deserve it. I'm not taking any of that from anyone. I don't know how to get it to stop, but I sure don't "accept" it. Esp. if it's all supposedly something I deserve. I know this person thinks that me and other deserve meanness. That's something else. They even said they were too embarrassed to say if something was wrong, as though they didn't know what was gonna happen.
It's a bit upsetting. Who wants to know someone with a life like mine? People think I'm either too old or too young. Can that be true? No one has to pay attention to me. When they do, I try to be nice, but some of them or a lot are older and I just can't provide some things. I have a great magnetation to people my age. On TV yesterday was a girl who looked my age talking about science and ghosts, in war. I think people don't realize all the time how bad war really is. It's not a service but a sacrifice.
So, I am always nice, but my dad keeps hurting me. My mom barged in when something seemed bad about me, and he was wheezy and said she needed her meds. I was upset but didn't really hurt her. She made it up. I just said it in a way that wasn't submissive and she tried to "suck out my soul.." I think it might be because my dad was there. I try to be nice to everyone, but I just couldn't ignore my dad's constant shuffling around.
Strange Dreams
1 I remember was I was on the Phil show. He looked like he was looking at my dad and asked, "So, do you wanna do this..?" I think he nodded and covered his face cuz he was about the same age.
@Robin_McGraw @DrPhil fun fun fun fun fun fun - a bouncy bubble - I love bouncing on the road. Gum is yum! 🍒 👀 Such a nice shoot! 👓 💫 🐯 😀
— Christina Barrett (@Christina4333) January 27, 2015
Facebook - Robin McGraw
taking pictures with results
I did that today at Disney but nothing. Good advice.
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her beauty product
Ice skating works. It gave me skin patches, fairer skin.. It got to where I couldn't do it in the end, tho, so I can't keep doing it. Yes, I could go back. This product is lovely! I hope it makes my skin fairer like when I ice skated!
I did that today at Disney but nothing. Good advice.
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her beauty product
Ice skating works. It gave me skin patches, fairer skin.. It got to where I couldn't do it in the end, tho, so I can't keep doing it. Yes, I could go back. This product is lovely! I hope it makes my skin fairer like when I ice skated!
I do like everyone and this person in particular.
They just keep like acting funnily and rubbing it in trying to annoy me with such a nice person.. maybe they are jealous. :( Good they have an interest/attraction? :) You know what to do.
Dr. Phil - Twitter
when strict parenting goes too far
When you like other kids better than your own. My mom wondered why I wasn't outgoing about things like others..
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Be happy with life as it is and know good things will come.
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At least gays don't all believe in drugs.
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people who have nothing to hide
They need a hideout and can hide their body parts when getting dressed.. ahahahahaha how unusual of me to think. ;o
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I have no idea, I guess it all boils down to if your spouse is an opposites attract. I heard all marriages were that or love..
When you like other kids better than your own. My mom wondered why I wasn't outgoing about things like others..
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Be happy with life as it is and know good things will come.
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At least gays don't all believe in drugs.
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people who have nothing to hide
They need a hideout and can hide their body parts when getting dressed.. ahahahahaha how unusual of me to think. ;o
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I have no idea, I guess it all boils down to if your spouse is an opposites attract. I heard all marriages were that or love..
Dr. Phil
An important show to me I've seen is Forensic Files cuz I worry about the safety of each and every person.
I liked the show today. The father was unbelievably nice. It seemed like my situation, except I'm in the garage. I tried to m********* to go to Heaven.
I think people need to learn that if you are at a level of perfection, you need to make a change and you will be good at different things and not just that one thing. You want that one thing to get better and better, but it won't. (Got the idea also from American Dad, right now.)
I am worried the girls might do something bad or something bad will happen to them. How did they get the money for food??
I liked the show today. The father was unbelievably nice. It seemed like my situation, except I'm in the garage. I tried to m********* to go to Heaven.
I think people need to learn that if you are at a level of perfection, you need to make a change and you will be good at different things and not just that one thing. You want that one thing to get better and better, but it won't. (Got the idea also from American Dad, right now.)
I am worried the girls might do something bad or something bad will happen to them. How did they get the money for food??
Dr. Phil - Facebook
I just know that the dad seems like the kind of personality who would descend into abusive behavior, but he's nice, nicer than those I've known..
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I just know there has been a lot of confusion as to if daughters are as good as their moms these days because so many of them were flower children, and then it is this group of a generation who overshadow kids today, everyone knows that.
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I think it is popular for people to just blurt out to imagine people in their underwear, as long as it isn't Ellen- I know I'm being watched with cameras in my room even with my invitation to not have to do this, tho I'd miss whoever doesn't wanna meet me some other way. I assume I am in some solitary confinement. It really helps me that I get these messages, but I wish there were some normal way, like someone on a blog. No one is my friend, now, so that might be "why I get it." I can't really think like other people. There are other reasons. It may be why I can't stop letting bad words come to my mind sometimes. People don't like that, the people who experiment on me, as I say on my blog. F.y.i. no one seems to really communicate to me ever since this happened. It's a very different life and very sad and distressing, like being trapped in a box out in space.
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My extended is a game of mix and match. LOL. My parents were gonna separate for my brother, so he wouldn't have to move when my dad gets a job. He liked his dog trainer, martial arts instructor, and tennis teacher. I knew all these people, and they treated me graciously. When the hurricane hit, we all moved. I am so sad! College has been so bad! My parents seem like they are in a game where they judge who I am compared to like my mom, like it (things) makes my Gramma mad, who just knows what goes on via phone. My dad doesn't always stand on his own 2 feet, what can I say, and wants his mom to influence him with advice and listens to her obediently in her insinuations yet lets me know when I ask that she does indeed bother her, as we've seen the drama in the past. The thing they do is if I do something, they blame my mom, who cannot see with one eye and who has breast cancer and supposedly bone cancer and I thought something else. It's hard to think of an example. I know I broke 2 or 3 computers that were already broken supposedly. I know I am deeply ashamed by all I've done, all accidental errors. I understand if I am not forgiven and have to "deal with the consequences."
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I tried imagining my partner being like an exciting, upbeat, imaginative boy just slightly older by months. My other I fell for was like a twist on a "good" "devil" personality, who seemed a bit older. I can't settle on one thing. I will always love everything.
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I have a lot of experience messing up in life, like my whole life every day. About me, myself, and I .. Making kids the best they can be seems to work out if you learn lessons from different people rather than expecting things from other people who just aren't up to it for whatever reason. It's a lotta trial than error, but in the end it is your responsibility. Why? So you cannot blame another person.
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I don't believe in psychiatric medicine cuz it doesn't cure. As for those other drugs, I didn't think it was a joke.
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People are not ready for kids. They have not come to terms with themselves. Still, they have them..at least.
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I just know there has been a lot of confusion as to if daughters are as good as their moms these days because so many of them were flower children, and then it is this group of a generation who overshadow kids today, everyone knows that.
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I think it is popular for people to just blurt out to imagine people in their underwear, as long as it isn't Ellen- I know I'm being watched with cameras in my room even with my invitation to not have to do this, tho I'd miss whoever doesn't wanna meet me some other way. I assume I am in some solitary confinement. It really helps me that I get these messages, but I wish there were some normal way, like someone on a blog. No one is my friend, now, so that might be "why I get it." I can't really think like other people. There are other reasons. It may be why I can't stop letting bad words come to my mind sometimes. People don't like that, the people who experiment on me, as I say on my blog. F.y.i. no one seems to really communicate to me ever since this happened. It's a very different life and very sad and distressing, like being trapped in a box out in space.
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My extended is a game of mix and match. LOL. My parents were gonna separate for my brother, so he wouldn't have to move when my dad gets a job. He liked his dog trainer, martial arts instructor, and tennis teacher. I knew all these people, and they treated me graciously. When the hurricane hit, we all moved. I am so sad! College has been so bad! My parents seem like they are in a game where they judge who I am compared to like my mom, like it (things) makes my Gramma mad, who just knows what goes on via phone. My dad doesn't always stand on his own 2 feet, what can I say, and wants his mom to influence him with advice and listens to her obediently in her insinuations yet lets me know when I ask that she does indeed bother her, as we've seen the drama in the past. The thing they do is if I do something, they blame my mom, who cannot see with one eye and who has breast cancer and supposedly bone cancer and I thought something else. It's hard to think of an example. I know I broke 2 or 3 computers that were already broken supposedly. I know I am deeply ashamed by all I've done, all accidental errors. I understand if I am not forgiven and have to "deal with the consequences."
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I tried imagining my partner being like an exciting, upbeat, imaginative boy just slightly older by months. My other I fell for was like a twist on a "good" "devil" personality, who seemed a bit older. I can't settle on one thing. I will always love everything.
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I have a lot of experience messing up in life, like my whole life every day. About me, myself, and I .. Making kids the best they can be seems to work out if you learn lessons from different people rather than expecting things from other people who just aren't up to it for whatever reason. It's a lotta trial than error, but in the end it is your responsibility. Why? So you cannot blame another person.
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I don't believe in psychiatric medicine cuz it doesn't cure. As for those other drugs, I didn't think it was a joke.
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People are not ready for kids. They have not come to terms with themselves. Still, they have them..at least.
Monday, January 26, 2015
Sorry
I did not sort my thoughts out about rubbing in someone in a way I don't like when I'm very mad and just said to stop.. Well, it seems you already know what you're doing. Sure, I mean I could be nice to someone, but I don't want it to ruin other things for me. I said I looked them up and was okay. Why are you taunting me with them? I don't believe it's necessary quite like that.
Getting Things
I don't have to, but like relationships matter. You can say you are tired of me. Not fight.
Apology Etc.
Sorry I got upset, but it happens to everyone. I thought they were playing around breaking my laptop. Guess a new one is only $150.
I feel a bit bothered, the noises.
Well, sorry.. I wasn't trying to start anything. I just felt so powerless about my life. Guess you don't like that. 'Try not to. I don't have such bad things about me I start that I can't function.
I feel a bit bothered, the noises.
Well, sorry.. I wasn't trying to start anything. I just felt so powerless about my life. Guess you don't like that. 'Try not to. I don't have such bad things about me I start that I can't function.
I wonder why people make fun of them. Maybe, they were threatened out of what they like an other people. Would be nice to meet, another fat chance. Hm, why do I sense I cannot live in the world. Maybe, I better stay away. :( I see other people may in the future have some things going for them without this hassle.
Nice People
But I don't like what you did.
I just looked them up.
What about the other people? You are a sicko what you suggested. I'm all alone, as far as I'm concerned, with you around.
I just looked them up.
What about the other people? You are a sicko what you suggested. I'm all alone, as far as I'm concerned, with you around.
Stuff
I'm so excited I can't go to bed.
Sorry I was so messed up. Not sure what to do about that. I just maybe assumed too much was important to post. I just was trying to solve my discomfort about something/things. Didn't wanna talk about what was unwanted/not good to talk about, but I guess people need to talk if something's important in general.
Sorry I was so messed up. Not sure what to do about that. I just maybe assumed too much was important to post. I just was trying to solve my discomfort about something/things. Didn't wanna talk about what was unwanted/not good to talk about, but I guess people need to talk if something's important in general.
How Pathetic
You come in my privacy and insult me. You are a cheater. You wanna make sure no one makes it.
All because of that girl, someone stopped being my friend. In a way. But because of that supposedly.
And I am on meds in my home because of another girl.
I thought the 2nd 1 I mentioned wanted me to call the the N word. THOUGHT THEY WANTED ME TO. Now, I'm supposedly in a real fix cursing about putting noises in my room and people loading my computer in time to me.
The 1st, I just thought of how insulting it was to better that girl over me in some way. I stoppeda after, not really sure what was going on.
If I wanna not take the meds, I have to move out.
And I am on meds in my home because of another girl.
I thought the 2nd 1 I mentioned wanted me to call the the N word. THOUGHT THEY WANTED ME TO. Now, I'm supposedly in a real fix cursing about putting noises in my room and people loading my computer in time to me.
The 1st, I just thought of how insulting it was to better that girl over me in some way. I stoppeda after, not really sure what was going on.
If I wanna not take the meds, I have to move out.
About Me Getting Mad
Well, I was upset that if a Pennsylvanian asks something, when the answer is a good answer just saying "no" isn't some fairytale game of showing off. I'm not mad at some fact that was related to "the deed."
Problems
I do not want to mean to say I'm mad at certain people, things that seem not like them in some ways. Some of the things that made me mad were an offensive situation.
I feel that I am being tricked to get to know people in "ways" I don't wanna. You all want me to be like everyone else who messed up their life cuz you think that'll fix it rather than you owning up to that ya'll adults don't care for them.
I'm just mad in general at what happened. I did m*********. So, maybe "that ruined it for me." I did use all caps, but I don't mean anything terrifying exactly. I was concerned for some reason cuz it was being repeated to me. I guess they want to change places and think in such a way I'm a kid to be fascinated by something they say isn't even there..
About me not getting close to men, I dunno, maybe that's how it is, but I guess some men are more alluring. That's a problem. I didn't know that. Some guys know what not to do and what to do. The kind of guy my dad and his family is it just isn't so. The men are quiet, and the women are noisy. My dad probably wants to get close, but I don't think he matured to that, yet. I dunno, I don't want him to just copy other males.
I feel that I am being tricked to get to know people in "ways" I don't wanna. You all want me to be like everyone else who messed up their life cuz you think that'll fix it rather than you owning up to that ya'll adults don't care for them.
I'm just mad in general at what happened. I did m*********. So, maybe "that ruined it for me." I did use all caps, but I don't mean anything terrifying exactly. I was concerned for some reason cuz it was being repeated to me. I guess they want to change places and think in such a way I'm a kid to be fascinated by something they say isn't even there..
About me not getting close to men, I dunno, maybe that's how it is, but I guess some men are more alluring. That's a problem. I didn't know that. Some guys know what not to do and what to do. The kind of guy my dad and his family is it just isn't so. The men are quiet, and the women are noisy. My dad probably wants to get close, but I don't think he matured to that, yet. I dunno, I don't want him to just copy other males.
Sunday, January 25, 2015
How ridiculous is this?
All these people do anything to hurt me and sent me all these insults? I dunno if you know what all I'm thinking of, but they are hurting themselves.
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