I got so mad when I couldn't get the Word Captchas to work. I got bumped into a worse mood. I must be getting more and more upset, lately. I don't even know what I was on. At least, I didn't like do it for real as opposed tot thinking it. I felt like something was overcoming me.
I just told myself to ignore stuff! I just felt my opinion. They won't let bygones be bygones. I'm not mean. Unfortunately, they are. I just felt like I was being duped into submission, I think. But I just told myself to ignore things. It seems that always happens. I just didn't want to be duped, as in being told to suddenly think badly or whatever.. I also feel critiqued for what I chose to say about this aloud. I'd just like to have a nice conversation where things make sense and have reasons.
I don't need to think these things. It's like getting mad if a loved one gets sick. Or if you get poked at incessantly. I feel I'm settled, now, but I thought very negatively. I really don't wanna deal with what other people think of it. They've collected things from my past and popped them up. I wasn't really being bad and attacking. I just was being defensive and felt a bit upset at what it meant and for some reason was like possessed, I think, which is not something I should do.. Things like this didn't used to happen. I think it's too much stress now from my dad over little things. You try. I can't seem to see these consequences in a positive light. I'm actually just 1/2 his kid. I never thought of it that way before. I feel abused for my other 1/2, like he had it in him to handle me and make things impossible for me to think I'm a deserving life.
I'm not up to wanting my dad mistreated. He may be the hub/source of the issue, but I want his happiness spared. So, I have to keep that in mind..
I don't know how to right this wrong. I did sorta stomp my foot walking away if you think about it or care. No fits of anger of late, tho.
I get fed an incident every day. That's not how life goes. I can settle and be happy now, but I know I bothered them before or recently.
I feel like I'm not to be trusted yet also not left alone. I did recently realize it was up to me to propel and accept my life. I'm getting up there..
I don't know what to say for relief from these people, even prayer. I'm already settled from the incident. They get worse and harder to settle from, but I haven't had the physical fits as much. I don't feel right physically, probably the meds.
I feel like I'm okay. So, good night.
Saturday, November 7, 2015
Mean Secret Messages
Some people act like they're nice, but they don't agree with me racially or other things. I keep getting mean secret messages, tho. There's no work to distract them or fun. Maybe, if I basically make a mistake, I will never get anything out of some people, "cuz they don' need me." They just don't. I was some mistake in their life.
Josh Groban - UFO
This is exactly what we saw. Video does it about 1/10th justice. https://t.co/m3dx91a13y— josh groban (@joshgroban) November 8, 2015
Looking for Emotional People?
If it's mean to suggest someone guesses they're superior, then why can they basically/clearly seem to do it? I guess there are other people in the world who are their equals. I am one of those people, but you don't have to talk to me if you think I'm not. I'll judge you myself. I said you didn't have to think of me that way. I have my own opinion of what's good. What does anyone think?
Question
Do you just think you're better than everyone else? So, you wanna pick on me and even say someone else is, like, the best person in the world and let them be mean to me? That doesn't even make sense!
If you have an issue, stick to it.
If you have an issue, stick to it.
Different Kids
Why would a black want kids with a white, just to see kids? A white person could have them, too, but why?
Out of the Way?
If you don't care about Asians you shouldn't care enough to hurt me cuz in a way I really wouldn't like being just Asian neither.
Kids With Southern Parents
I saw this baby on BabyFirst from Alabama, which is between Mississippi and Georgia and has the oldest city in the US.
Racial Denying
Latinas seem to deny like other ethnicities that they are not Norse and never get in the game and deal with the problem.
A Negative, Ungrateful World
This world has become a negative and complaining one, where people are all considered void.
Connecting With "Life"
So, people born around 1997/1998 aren't set up at all to be in connection with life like what was accomplished in the 1950s, 1960s, and 1970s.
"You know what I hate?"
I hate it when people play a game that if you get mad at them it means you're bad when they're mean and it's like "everyone does it."
Lazy Baby Boomers
They just conveniently identify me and make fun of me and sit at that. Like, saying I'm just like everyone else and suddenly am a failure.
History
When kids born around 1997/1998 see something from the flower/hippy generation, they just think they know it's something for them and, "Oh, the other generations just made a mistake." For them, this is history.
Doest my ears deceive me or
does Generation X not appreciate things from the 1950s, 1960s, and 1970s?
Undeserving
Do Late Boomers/their kids really deserve to be as special? They seem mean. It's not like it didn't really happen. I'm speechless!
Young Souls
Those with young mothers, enjoy pecking at life together trying to understand it and look up to elders.
"Just imagine.."
Imagine people born with white/light hair in times when thoughts are deep. They just insert themselves into the program, like they're cut out, and think the goodies are for them.
Think of when life was still a mystery. It should not all be about the kids today. They don't seem to depend on me for all that I am. I'll get old without having accomplished anything.
Think of when life was still a mystery. It should not all be about the kids today. They don't seem to depend on me for all that I am. I'll get old without having accomplished anything.
Being Asian
If I did not want to be Asian at all and all these white people did, why do some white people like where I live in Orlando, FL, also get to be more white and accepted by Asians?
Living Freely and Mobiley
It might be nice to see someone actually considered attractive from Europe identify, but they're the one getting all the glory still. It seems to have gone amiss since Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) with Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka and Tim Burton the artist as the director came out.
"I'm innocent!"
You aren't the one who in the end had to listen to being represented by black people while no one else is, even black people in this case. You can't say I did something wrong.
"No Probob"
People in the US who are only or mainly only Norse probably have no problems.
Think of the American dream.
Think of the American dream.
"Haters Gotta Hate"
People all are going psycho hating on me.
They even get close to their kids in inappropriate ways because they hate me so much that's how they want to pretend that it's me, not them tho bet they didn't know that.
They even get close to their kids in inappropriate ways because they hate me so much that's how they want to pretend that it's me, not them tho bet they didn't know that.
BabyFirst
I wonder how the young people get on BabyFirst.
This little toddler who I can tell from her skin and other features that she must be Latino. She is very upset and seems unresponsive to direction.
This little toddler who I can tell from her skin and other features that she must be Latino. She is very upset and seems unresponsive to direction.
An Old Piece of Knowledge?
Even between Spain and England, they find ways it's better not to mix racially when having kids.
I typed this from memory:
Bonny Bafto's off to sea
Silver buckles at his knee
He'll come back to marry me
Bonny Bobby Shafto
Bobby Shafto's fat and fair
Combing down his yellow hair
He's my love forever more
Bonny Bobby Shafto
Best to resolve traits of your own race. Everyone is different and has their own goals.
I typed this from memory:
Bonny Bafto's off to sea
Silver buckles at his knee
He'll come back to marry me
Bonny Bobby Shafto
Bobby Shafto's fat and fair
Combing down his yellow hair
He's my love forever more
Bonny Bobby Shafto
Best to resolve traits of your own race. Everyone is different and has their own goals.
Criticization
Do you think some people point out little things you do wrong to garner positive attention for themselves, while taking from others?
Wondering
Spanish people should come to the US and lose their tan. I don't think they should interbreed unless they are fair, at least. Even then, I have seen problems, tho.. even tan skin.
I know Italian Americans, some are fairer skinned than ones with black hair. I almost mistook I think Italians or possibly Spanish in the US for black.
I really like people who are all Latino, tho, like the petite blondes. They remind me of Middle Easterners, very strict. I've seen them more than once. Their hair might have been dyed/bleached, but I think they were really blondes, for some reason. I mean, it's like I knew that's what it was and didn't have to think twice.
I am concerned because people deserve to be happy and also for people who come from mixed ethnic families, especially in the US.
Sure, a dark Latino or Italian could breed with a fair white person. It's supposed to be about making a happy baby, tho, not just reaching being functional in the family's eyes.
I know Italian Americans, some are fairer skinned than ones with black hair. I almost mistook I think Italians or possibly Spanish in the US for black.
I really like people who are all Latino, tho, like the petite blondes. They remind me of Middle Easterners, very strict. I've seen them more than once. Their hair might have been dyed/bleached, but I think they were really blondes, for some reason. I mean, it's like I knew that's what it was and didn't have to think twice.
I am concerned because people deserve to be happy and also for people who come from mixed ethnic families, especially in the US.
Sure, a dark Latino or Italian could breed with a fair white person. It's supposed to be about making a happy baby, tho, not just reaching being functional in the family's eyes.
White and Black
I'm convinced. The Spanish are European. I always said this to myself. Go to Spain, they are white.
Different species are like Asians, and a different kind of animal is blacks. Blacks have a different sized and shaped skull. That's all there is! I'm something of a History expert now. I can put 2 and 2 together.
It's hard for me to understand people who didn't grow up thinking they were a part of a bigger culture which altogether make up the white culture. You know, even darker Europeans really want to be white. Another tip from me, a history expert.
I also decided Asians were already the same color as white people with both white and tan skin. They feel the same way about their skin color. I guess some white Asians really are racist to darker Asians, the way white people don't give 2 cents about why their skin is white tho seem to treasure it highly.
Different species are like Asians, and a different kind of animal is blacks. Blacks have a different sized and shaped skull. That's all there is! I'm something of a History expert now. I can put 2 and 2 together.
It's hard for me to understand people who didn't grow up thinking they were a part of a bigger culture which altogether make up the white culture. You know, even darker Europeans really want to be white. Another tip from me, a history expert.
I also decided Asians were already the same color as white people with both white and tan skin. They feel the same way about their skin color. I guess some white Asians really are racist to darker Asians, the way white people don't give 2 cents about why their skin is white tho seem to treasure it highly.
Drowning out Some of Life in Orlando
I have BabyFirst on, and it still doesn't seem to be doing the trick. It has helped a little, and so has starting church last weekend.
"Abusive Relationships"
Why are the people I like abusing me so that I can't associate with people I like?
Unnecessary Things
People think to express that you mean something to them, they do things that are close in uncomfortable ways. These are people who "didn't make it" in life emotionally.
"You can't fool me!"
People think that situations are uptight that something needs to be said, even if it's wrong. They like to use me to insult, as tho that's why, but I know they just want to be mean to me.
I also notice people are mean just to me. If someone did something wrong, that doesn't mean I need to be treated wrongly, too.
I also notice people are mean just to me. If someone did something wrong, that doesn't mean I need to be treated wrongly, too.
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