because of you
Other people have been mean to me, not me to them. People are pushing me to think bad things and then getting mad at me for it. What I said, it wasn't blatant how I said it. There's no "moment" like maybe I don't matter and someone else does. I'm not being sarcastic. I'm just saying. The "moment" is weird. I can post about my feelings on a blog if I feel I have been hurt and am free to say I take it back just because. I was just upset about something and something keeps happening. I wanted help. I wanted to get it out there. Maybe, someone out there will read it. Maybe, the world will be a better place if I talk something out that doesn't make sense. I don't think I was that mean nor obvious. If it's that thing I posted, I explained that later. I dunno what to say. I respect the person, but someone was suddenly glorifying white people over me for their meager accomplishments. I am told anything I did was less than meager. Or meer. No one hand spoons me the things this person gets. Instead, you acted like it was a big deal to live to fight against me about it.
Thursday, December 18, 2014
I know you're wrong.
Who do you think you all are? Scaring me? With threats? Over this person?? Why? Why????
So, someone help!
Someone is attacking me over this person. They do illegal things to me, like break my stuff.
You can't really say
if a person is how they should be or not these days, when you think about older people.
That question connects
in that you say oh well everyone better worship me even if I didn't do something the right way. "Oh well!"
Why
Cuz it's wrong. Those people were mean to me about her, and I'm tired of her getting jiggy with it about being all her and not me, some funny feeling of pleasure?? That is inappropriate, and whatever you call it it exists. Get my point, tho? What was making me post this was the anger that spews forth from another person when I say that she's being treated much better over me, like I'm bad and you can say she's better and rub it in like some lunatic.. Someone else did it, and I merely posted about it.
What a Loser
You just had to drop the last shoe. You're incredibly mean. You have no right to punish me for stupid, drunk reasons.
It's not all about this new person, worshipping them. You have no right to do illegal things to me for it. If something isn't okay about them and me, you get super mad like it means something. Is that how my mom got cancer? ':( I hope not. I don't care about England. It's got a lotta trash. You all rub her in like she's better. You would ruin my life for it, like some weirdo. You all don't protect me, at all! You just hurt me!
Story
Kristin was on the boat and looked out. Edward came up to her and put his arm around her and kissed her on the lips saying that things would be great. She looked at him, eyes full of fear and admitted to him she was a pirate.
He walked with and followed her around. He caught some fish and they ate it roasting it in a hole in the boat. Ruby came and giggled with Kristin, their hair and eyes lighting up in the fire, like little kids again. The lady came and put her arm around Ruby and said it was nice to see her having so much fun.. Kristin was pleased but rather shy.
The boat ride was a bit frightening, but the adults kept the little ones comforted.
Kristin ran to the lady at one point who immediately embraced her knowing what was up with her, and they talked some about the night. Ruby fell asleep with some ladies watching over her and was quite comfortable. Edward came up to her and stroked her hair telling her goodnight. He kissed her baby face cheek, such tiny things were the 14-year-olds.
He walked with and followed her around. He caught some fish and they ate it roasting it in a hole in the boat. Ruby came and giggled with Kristin, their hair and eyes lighting up in the fire, like little kids again. The lady came and put her arm around Ruby and said it was nice to see her having so much fun.. Kristin was pleased but rather shy.
The boat ride was a bit frightening, but the adults kept the little ones comforted.
Kristin ran to the lady at one point who immediately embraced her knowing what was up with her, and they talked some about the night. Ruby fell asleep with some ladies watching over her and was quite comfortable. Edward came up to her and stroked her hair telling her goodnight. He kissed her baby face cheek, such tiny things were the 14-year-olds.
Story
There was a girl named Kristin. She was 14 years old, and the world was full of possibilities for her. She had dark blonde hair and light, pale blue eyes.
She had some friends named Meg and Kate. They were 13.
There was a boy named Richard who was 15 who she was great friends with. There was another boy named Edward who was 20 who was her boyfriend. Richard was like a brother, like her 2 friends. She was a proper young lady and very independent. She also had a crush on a man who was 40 named Tiny Tim. She lived in a big world and he was like a dreamer.
Kristin lay on the bank, alone, while little girls played in the distance, some in pale white dresses. Kristin wore green velvet over pale green lace, which was rich and hard to imagine seeing together. Evening came, and she began to weep, but no one ever saw her. A lady of one of the huge residences of people came, and she was in her home. She admired her but felt unworthy. Though the lady was alone, Kristin figured she had no business with her. She came over to her, was probably 45.
She looked up and said, "How do you do, ma'm?" She was full of sorrow, and the lady knew she knew her and came and picked her up and gave her a hug and assured her things would be fine and asked whatever was the matter.
Soon, night came, and Kristin looked out, and the lady took her hand and let her sit on her lap. Kristin just loved the water at night and the mixture of moods that surrounded them. She felt she was not good enough for this lady, who rocked her and comforted her, as though she knew what would happen.. She knew.
When the other kids came, the lady and other people watched, while they played on the seaside. A boat came, and the lady picked up Kristin and it was just her and older people and 1 younger girl named Ruby with curly red hair and green eyes who was her age.
She had some friends named Meg and Kate. They were 13.
There was a boy named Richard who was 15 who she was great friends with. There was another boy named Edward who was 20 who was her boyfriend. Richard was like a brother, like her 2 friends. She was a proper young lady and very independent. She also had a crush on a man who was 40 named Tiny Tim. She lived in a big world and he was like a dreamer.
Kristin lay on the bank, alone, while little girls played in the distance, some in pale white dresses. Kristin wore green velvet over pale green lace, which was rich and hard to imagine seeing together. Evening came, and she began to weep, but no one ever saw her. A lady of one of the huge residences of people came, and she was in her home. She admired her but felt unworthy. Though the lady was alone, Kristin figured she had no business with her. She came over to her, was probably 45.
She looked up and said, "How do you do, ma'm?" She was full of sorrow, and the lady knew she knew her and came and picked her up and gave her a hug and assured her things would be fine and asked whatever was the matter.
Soon, night came, and Kristin looked out, and the lady took her hand and let her sit on her lap. Kristin just loved the water at night and the mixture of moods that surrounded them. She felt she was not good enough for this lady, who rocked her and comforted her, as though she knew what would happen.. She knew.
When the other kids came, the lady and other people watched, while they played on the seaside. A boat came, and the lady picked up Kristin and it was just her and older people and 1 younger girl named Ruby with curly red hair and green eyes who was her age.
Joke Apology
I'm sorry if you found it offensive when I posted about where our tax money goes. If I was in my right state of mind, it would have been merely rephrased.
TV
The Ellen DeGeneres Show
She seemed to be doing well today.
I liked the lady who was on. She seems to think she's something she's not. She looks meek and Asian, but it's like she thinks an Asian who looks more white "can't be."
It's hard to remember cuz I watched the one I was in the audience of after.
I noticed Ellen was more touchy today. That was great. Did she deserve it? Well, no less than anyone. She wasn't that kind of person, tho, to say I deserve it all like this over others. She was pretty smart, in a way.
What else? No music. I think the prizes were good, $250 for Toys'R'Us!!
I think Ellen connects with blondes. My hair isn't all black.. It's unbelievable when it gets light.
I feel my connection with Ellen has died and I couldn't figure out what to do about it myself. I wasn't upset. I don't "deserve" her, but no one I know does.
She seemed to be doing well today.
I liked the lady who was on. She seems to think she's something she's not. She looks meek and Asian, but it's like she thinks an Asian who looks more white "can't be."
It's hard to remember cuz I watched the one I was in the audience of after.
I noticed Ellen was more touchy today. That was great. Did she deserve it? Well, no less than anyone. She wasn't that kind of person, tho, to say I deserve it all like this over others. She was pretty smart, in a way.
What else? No music. I think the prizes were good, $250 for Toys'R'Us!!
I think Ellen connects with blondes. My hair isn't all black.. It's unbelievable when it gets light.
I feel my connection with Ellen has died and I couldn't figure out what to do about it myself. I wasn't upset. I don't "deserve" her, but no one I know does.
Getting Better - Too Late
That's too bad.
I thought what I wrote was simply what was in my mind better thought out. I see I was a bit crazy attacking. I wasn't on my blog, but you know what I felt in my mind.
I thought what I wrote was simply what was in my mind better thought out. I see I was a bit crazy attacking. I wasn't on my blog, but you know what I felt in my mind.
About "What"
I don't want my dad hurt in all this. I kinda think it sucks he's in the way of others wanting to meet me. I feel a bit secluded and deluded.
Go! Leave me, now! But return.
I can't tell anyone to return.
I just wanted to make a "sincere apology" but for my stupidity and disgusting-ness. I do not claim to have done anything wrong in intent and specificity. Why? Cuz I didn't. The anger was a side-effect. Other people influenced me. I just wanted counseling. I didn't get it. My therapist did read it at the end. I sing for her every time.
I just wanted to make a "sincere apology" but for my stupidity and disgusting-ness. I do not claim to have done anything wrong in intent and specificity. Why? Cuz I didn't. The anger was a side-effect. Other people influenced me. I just wanted counseling. I didn't get it. My therapist did read it at the end. I sing for her every time.
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