I am personally upset about all the cursing I did ruining things for me, but I've explained why. Basically, I think it is the right thing to do just to prove to people that anyone can communicate, not just bad guys. I was careful not to directly curse anyone, in some ways was upset at my dad bothering me but didn't take it out on someone else. I am sad people believe they need to get into my life all of a sudden and be mean to me, whoever does this.
So, what, just be sorry I was so stupid and supposedly mean? I have suffered a lot from others. Even my dad does not seem to know me in the right way. I am not gonna be tacky and say I accept this, and I must say it is not a nice thing to do to someone. My life seems always halted and tired with the unnecessary meds. I have to adjust to what's slammed into my face by the likes of people like my dad, who I care about, too. I don't wanna be treated like I'm okay, but I cannot forgive people for manipulating me and interfering me. People make mistakes, and I explained mine which was not really intentional. It's too bad. I have adamantly supported not torturing people in prison and finding out what's wrong with them because it is crazy to commit a crime more than being paranoid. I know it sets an example for others. Another thing I wonder is if not on a place online to get out your thoughts available sorta to the world, then how else? I had to relearn what I grew up seeing other people encouraging. I find if I am good, I do not get what I want still. Even when I didn't have grudges on me sorta. What I have to relearn is that it's not for me about saying whatever I feel to a close friend/person, but I have to always be on guard. See? That's something people are told to do. There's no answer. I'm not the baby of the world, like people born in 1997-1998. They would accept a mistake as small as "what" I've done overall from them. I didn't harass anyone. I didn't start the fights.
I am told that I can't figure out what was wrong. I do not want to live in the bad ways of things my dad does. Why is it all about who my dad is and not my mom in any good way?? They think it's blocked out as wrong already cuza how my dad thinks. Well, I am not gonna be the sacrificial lamb to get close to these ridiculous things.
So, these things do happen. I don't mean to rub in my innocence. I don't want someone else to have this happen to them, to be mocked in front of "important people" and the world. Can we talk about this? Or just go and watch others fall?
It's okay if you don't like me, but I'm not bad.
You might think I did bad things, but I grew up as a very good person 99.9%. Why be so mean to me? That is the only time you can get mad at someone, too, I learned growing up. So, I have to unlearn this, since you all made new rules I could not seem to register in my brain. I don't believe in Jesus, if that's what you're wondering. I believe he was a crazy man. Everyone today knows what Jesus said more than ever. To be nice and forgive. I can certainly see you all don't believe in Jesus, as well. You all don't even care if I d**, supposedly, but who knows, could happen.
So, yes, I am sorry for my stupidity but do not submit to you, you were mean to me, someone was. I don't submit to people. Is that cuza being Chinese? Why harass and be suggestive to my mom, too? I see my dad thinking my mom did it if he doesn't like something I was trying to think in private, often. I don't mean to be rude, but it sounds like I am submitting to bad people in apologizing properly.
You do act like I harassed someone, when I think I was just mad and they supposedly did it and I didn't really do anything like that directly at them like you think. I take it back. I don't mean it. You don't have to forgive me. Fine!
You all have announced you're liars and drained of any emotion for the likes of people such as myself. You used to act like the world was all that. But when I chose to open up, this is what it is. I never meant anything bad on purpose. I am 99.9% so careful, but if I do one thing by accident, probably fainting from stress and that I should react to insult.. you just take away my life and go on and want me to think about this 1 thing on and on. You never taught me nothing. You silently monitored and manipulated me. I was not provided with any emotion, so maybe I had none to judge with. I was harassed and tested and competed with because of being part Chinese. I don't wanna be mad about it, but it seems that's why I've gotten confused and done things without being able to think. You are just looking for unnatural ways of getting me in trouble and harming me in some way, emotionally or what be it. My dad should not be allowed to harm me in this. It seems he's gonna do it anyway. I probably would be taken away to an institute and later get out with a respectable life alone. But of the noises planted around me, maybe the police would accompany me in my new abode.
So, I am sorry for all I've done. I usually don't act directly mad, tho, so I don't like the inconvenience of people pretending I intend to be sarcastic. I am independent, and I didn't know I had problems. People always said how amazing I was until I grew up and racism came up even more.
I hope things are okay and you don't have to pay attention to me. About the fact people do, may I suggest finding ways of meeting other people of different ages and walks of life??
I hope it is okay I said all this. Trying to at least straighten things out as they are if I can now. I know you like to go crazy all over and pester/test me. Hope it works out?..
Saturday, January 24, 2015
Ellen
I really liked the girl at the end who married as an exchange student her English teacher in Hungary.
The 1st boy was always on spot with how well he behaved. It was amazing. He wanted to get down to business and be good to the right people.
Ellen seemed okay. Hope things are going well for her.
The 1st boy was always on spot with how well he behaved. It was amazing. He wanted to get down to business and be good to the right people.
Ellen seemed okay. Hope things are going well for her.
I need to get
Bella Thorne's book next time I get around to the mall with money. By next week. It looks advanced for smart people who grew up. I don't know much about reading.
Plan
to get in physical shape rather than study music right now in college
seeing if adult gymnastics once a week opens up - 1 hour
I also go to Disney once a week.
I was gonna move into a college dorm. I'm hoping to make it in the entertainment world, selling my book and singing for now, but the book is only 15 pages long.
seeing if adult gymnastics once a week opens up - 1 hour
I also go to Disney once a week.
I was gonna move into a college dorm. I'm hoping to make it in the entertainment world, selling my book and singing for now, but the book is only 15 pages long.
I just ruined another mill (meal.)
My dad was all grumpy about me in attitude he secretly claims not to have, and I couldn't bring myself to go steady around it. :(
Have you experienced
in the real world being shelved for posterity rather than going on? Like, you're an example and young people look up to you, but it's about them and not you? Imagine yourself put up in front of the world for kids to enjoy and it's about them in a way is never about you. Imagine the music and setting and sense the sensation!
Discrimination
People are telling me I'm not that good cuz my weight won't lessen. I just noticed this fact.
Also, it is not peaceful in the foolishness of America or Orlando or Florida some. I feel a constant turmoil.
My weight won't lesson cuza my meds, I think. I try other ways.
I feel a constant turmoil in America over nothing, like people wanna leave now.
Most people can't seem to lose weight who aren't famous. People are so lazy. I didn't work out today cuz I wanna nap and I don't do abs/cardio 2 days in a row cuz it's new. It's easy to see if someone is trying or not to lose weight. Most people aren't happy with who they are. Like their parents each.
I mean no offense, just noticing facts as I go and trying to make an appropriate post outta them.
Also, it is not peaceful in the foolishness of America or Orlando or Florida some. I feel a constant turmoil.
My weight won't lesson cuza my meds, I think. I try other ways.
I feel a constant turmoil in America over nothing, like people wanna leave now.
Most people can't seem to lose weight who aren't famous. People are so lazy. I didn't work out today cuz I wanna nap and I don't do abs/cardio 2 days in a row cuz it's new. It's easy to see if someone is trying or not to lose weight. Most people aren't happy with who they are. Like their parents each.
I mean no offense, just noticing facts as I go and trying to make an appropriate post outta them.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
My premature or maybe ultimate solution is to listen and quietly wish away the days I leave the house hopefully for good, but that's only if I do, what's it called, "student work" in a college? Sometimes, I think I am here to protect my parents from one another. I can't do that, for good, tho. Tho, I am already 28. Good advice.
Dr. Phi - Facebook
It is a sin to put yourself in that situation, but it grows by the years, it seems, until you realize ways to stop it.
"Upset"/..
It seems that people just don't wanna hear from me or something, but I was actually explaining myself and trying to apologize for anything that might have happened from people snapping offensive in some way thoughts in my head. I probably "had a nervous reaction." My dad has asked me to wait for 2 things. The 1st time he didn't really sound as friendly. He changed his mind but then bothered me in another way. My mom got upset this time when I asked. She was upset all morning I was just trying to eat my breakfast, using curse words in secret message yet taking everything from me if I thought of one. We never used to dwell on these things 10 years ago. I said I was sorry I did anything wrong. I know there is nothing wrong with asking when someone changes their mind. I'm not about to listen to my parents as a kid, neither. I want to make friends outside of my family. I don't like being pushed to my family all the time. My brother just wastes my life because he always wants his mom. What am I sacrificing for this people? How funny is that?? So, here's a brief of facts. I thought asking was good because it seems like they are just trying to make me feel off, not nurture my discipline by submitting to their presence/"existence." They do that here in Orlando. I'm 28. I'm not gonna be the one to take this. Fine. What about the trying to make me feel off? Is that something my therapist will help me with? She lives in Orlando, too. I know I don't have to ask, but it's the best thing to do to heal a relationship. :| I also don't believe it to be true that I am given all these unsaid rules not made clear to me like they just came out and constantly could randomly come out. Just for the sake of feeling in charge. That's not important to me. No one should suffer this. I know it could be more efficient overall. I just work this way. If it was something ongoing, I could see not doing it. I don't know, it's like dressing up as a clown to set these weird guidelines along the way that don't make sense. Don't make sense! I wouldn't do this with other people, so same with my parents. I don't listen at 28. I just don't break the law. What else?.. Like I said, I was just explaining what happened, not trying to just complain and criticize. I admit, this is my life. I'm surrounded by this. If you wanna know more, I am gonna see how much money I can make from selling things: my book, my singing.. Otherwise was gonna put myelf in a college dorm. It's not easy to commute to and from college. There is a community college, but I think it'd be too hard. I would go to the public college, which I can now afford. I dunno if I still have my scholarship at my original college. I have to ask again. They said I had a financial hold, but it should have been lifted by now. So, yea, just trying to explain things that happen in real life off the computer. There may be things that haven't been fully looked into. About the asking why people do things, they don't leave an explanation when there should be one. It might be private, but then you have to admit that when asked. About other people rubbing into me, I just said I felt uncomfortable. I don't wanna mess up.. I managed to do better last night. It's when I wake up and my mom's there sending secret messages. They are things I cannot say to anyone else.. They are bad and just because she feels uncomfortable. My parents send lies about what other people say and threaten to hurt people who are nice to me in how they act. I guess this'll be about all? Any problems with me explaining what I sometimes would ignore, apologies? I don't really want what is happening to me to happen to anyone else. Yes, you might know what I'm talking about. I guess you think I deserve it. No one deserves this. I was wondering what would happen if you brought up someone else all the time and as a false punishment when you did something to others. See, not a good idea. Not something I wanna worry over when nothing that bad has happened. You can talk about that, too. I think I've been treated badly and blame the adults making others mean to me. You think life for me is designed by my dad, but I know him better. You think it's just I take whatever anyone says like I don't matter but like I think I'm better? I don't believe in Jesus. I don't sit there not working, not doing anything, just to say I hate myself and I'm bad. That's what you have at the end for me. You think I have to be that way cuz my fam is from PA. Not so. You think I should just be submissive, but that's like sucking the soul outta me. I go about quietly not bothering anyone. That's what you do. No one else submits their soul. Submit to what, goodness or hating on yourself? I don't know how the end fits the beginning, but here it is if anyone wants to read it or wishes they could help. I guess I am saying I am a good person and am being bothered by the speakers in my room and controlling things loading on my computer at certain times. I did list my problems on my website. If you just say I'm bad, I'd say that doesn't explain how these mistakes are considered on purpose misdeeds. I don't wanna force anyone into anything about me. No one has to give me attention in this way. What I want is to be known I am good and to have some goals stakes in my life, like such and such would like to speak to me but only for a certain length of time. I have goals for a career. I might go to the college dorm. If I cannot sell things. So, I am very sorry, not sure if I should experiment being quiet again or that I typed all this.. I'll try to go onto other things and not get mad. I'll try to remember all the lessons I gave myself.. ignoring, there's something good, there's a reason, don't do it, etc. Yea, who wants to read all this? Why would I feel I need to fess up with these things and defend myself? Not defend as in fighting but seeing what sacrifices I am wanted to make and stuff and find out what it means eventually maybe.
So
Why are the whinings from my mom my reaction being magnified? I thought I done good. You all just see the sparks flying. I am an adult. I know what I'm doing. Lotta people out there like me.
They keep making noises when I type or it's coming from the keyboard, too, sometimes. I guess not. What is going on? This isn't funny. Oh, it's my table. Not all, tho, probably.
What at all is appropriate of what my mom is doing? She's getting in the way of relationships. She's jealous. I know. But I am not to be confined for mixed race!
They keep making noises when I type or it's coming from the keyboard, too, sometimes. I guess not. What is going on? This isn't funny. Oh, it's my table. Not all, tho, probably.
What at all is appropriate of what my mom is doing? She's getting in the way of relationships. She's jealous. I know. But I am not to be confined for mixed race!
Website Update
About Me - Magic
I saw just a white tail kinda glowing and fluffy disappear behind something, and there was nothing there. (1/23/2015)
I saw just a white tail kinda glowing and fluffy disappear behind something, and there was nothing there. (1/23/2015)
You all are pathetic criminals.
They have been pampering someone else against me becuase someone was mad. Wow, didn't do this before.
Problem
They keep being nice to this other girl and not me. I think they're just "a bunch of" racists, TBH, and listening too much to Dad. I may not be talking to you but someone else who will appreciate this post. It's okay, but like every time something happens to me it's for her. Stop making me feel guilty. I have manners. I have a personality I deserve. I might be slightly retarded but not rude. So what, no one is talking to me now. This is my blog. I get tossed aside for what others have done. I could die today. I have a long and vicious past with you all. No offense to anyone. Why would I want to feel what someone else gets and not me? =| You wanna "feel" something? I know it's just someone messing with me. It's like going on Facebook and finding a friend you wish to "remove" but don't.
Problem
They keep making noises in my room like it's about someone else and not me. Well, I don't want to be rubbed in like this about mean people. What do you want? I disagree. I only believe it is fair for others to get attention. I don't agree these people are there to bow to. I am right.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
These girls seemed very inhibited and affected about their hormones.
---
The girls who had problems happen to them seem rather premature, like I was. The ones who make problems seem overly developed.
---
I don't think I would report a bully cuz they could come back and hurt me more. Someone else would have to do it.
---
I submitted "the..story..of..my..life," again!
---
They are in denial that they have problems they can change themselves. The ones who are bullied probably weren't mostly in life-threatening situations necessarily, but you are right you need anonymous reporting from a 3rd party so the bully won't bully you for telling. That's why I don't like the idea of calling the police..
---
1) Are bribes common in your household? N
2) Do you often make parenting decisions based on emotion? Y
3) Do you make excuses for your child's poor behavior? N
4) Do you cover for your child's mistakes? (i.e. pay fines, do undone homework, pay overages on cell phone, etc.) N
5) Does your child often try to manipulate you? Y
6) Do you ever wish others would change their behavior or attitudes to make things easier for your child? N
7) Do you give into your child just to keep the peace and avoid conflict? N
8) Do you tend to be lenient with your child? Y
9) Do you tend to not set boundaries or have trouble keeping them? Y
10) Do you have a hard time saying no to your child? Y/N
11) Do you allow your children to make their own choices or rules? Y
12) Does your child lack responsibility, self-control or motivation? Y
13) Has your child become more aggressive and irresponsible? Y
14) Does your child have issues with insecurity or self-esteem? N
15) Has your child become more demanding and selfish? N
Looks like I got 1/2 1/2 Y/N.
---
You're always gonna run into the truth. My mom said I complained a lot when I was being critical or always criticizing was what she said. There's nothing wrong with what I did.
---
I have tried talking online. They wanted me to go away. They even sent me to other sites, where I was also told to go away. I do it by chatting. I have a therapist and a psychiatrist. The link does look nice and would be a nice experience. I avoid sitations like that it seems, tho. I wanted to check myself into an institute, but I was just recommended to unemployment clubs and the like. I thought I was using my therapist. I don't know what to do next. She doesn't seem to help. She's nice, but she denies what I say and says it's schizophrenia.
---
The girls who had problems happen to them seem rather premature, like I was. The ones who make problems seem overly developed.
---
I don't think I would report a bully cuz they could come back and hurt me more. Someone else would have to do it.
---
I submitted "the..story..of..my..life," again!
---
They are in denial that they have problems they can change themselves. The ones who are bullied probably weren't mostly in life-threatening situations necessarily, but you are right you need anonymous reporting from a 3rd party so the bully won't bully you for telling. That's why I don't like the idea of calling the police..
---
1) Are bribes common in your household? N
2) Do you often make parenting decisions based on emotion? Y
3) Do you make excuses for your child's poor behavior? N
4) Do you cover for your child's mistakes? (i.e. pay fines, do undone homework, pay overages on cell phone, etc.) N
5) Does your child often try to manipulate you? Y
6) Do you ever wish others would change their behavior or attitudes to make things easier for your child? N
7) Do you give into your child just to keep the peace and avoid conflict? N
8) Do you tend to be lenient with your child? Y
9) Do you tend to not set boundaries or have trouble keeping them? Y
10) Do you have a hard time saying no to your child? Y/N
11) Do you allow your children to make their own choices or rules? Y
12) Does your child lack responsibility, self-control or motivation? Y
13) Has your child become more aggressive and irresponsible? Y
14) Does your child have issues with insecurity or self-esteem? N
15) Has your child become more demanding and selfish? N
Looks like I got 1/2 1/2 Y/N.
---
You're always gonna run into the truth. My mom said I complained a lot when I was being critical or always criticizing was what she said. There's nothing wrong with what I did.
---
I have tried talking online. They wanted me to go away. They even sent me to other sites, where I was also told to go away. I do it by chatting. I have a therapist and a psychiatrist. The link does look nice and would be a nice experience. I avoid sitations like that it seems, tho. I wanted to check myself into an institute, but I was just recommended to unemployment clubs and the like. I thought I was using my therapist. I don't know what to do next. She doesn't seem to help. She's nice, but she denies what I say and says it's schizophrenia.
Makes Sense
I think these people are coming from somewhere else. I need an outlet like a better "help" line or police who won't bucket me into the mental hospital. I need someone to put my parents in their place or get me some outlet for my talents so I can make enough money to live a comfortable life I need at this point. I heard these talents could make some money or at least be a cultural outlet and savior.
Why is it so quiet?
I guess they are finished/tired..
Sorry, but I really felt hurt. I don't know, I think it just bother me that something could happen that's not being prevented for me. Look at what bad care ya'll take of kids. I bet they all want attention in the same way. You're supposed to sit down and talk it out without throwing your computer against the wall.
Sorry, but I really felt hurt. I don't know, I think it just bother me that something could happen that's not being prevented for me. Look at what bad care ya'll take of kids. I bet they all want attention in the same way. You're supposed to sit down and talk it out without throwing your computer against the wall.
Dr. Phil
Today, we saw the long-awaited part 2 of the terrible teens-
I mostly like that skinny mom and girl, the one going into treatment. It's mostly like me, except I had the police to fight. Ha ha and I meant it. My parents will never admit to being mean in their attitude. I don't want to get closer to them like that.
I don't believe those centers necessarily to be good, as the one I stayed in we did nothing but be punished by being locked in the horrid building.
I was impressed that the girl who looked similar to part African-American turned around and was happy in the hands of authority away from the snotty girls who are probably racist, no offense to them tho.
It made me feel guilty during this concerning things.. My parents are indeed the ones with an attitude towards me. I want our relationship to have some propriety. The pros are all bad and say my personality is paranoia schizophrenia and made it die away.
You know living in Florida people are really mean and they think they all that. As we speak, I hear little faint messages that I believe to be lies or something to confuse me and consume me and waste away my life. I don't know what you don't want me to do, but I am gonna call the police if it gets too bad. I have to find away to do this without being put into treatment. I was gonna check myself into treatment, but my parents won't tell me the price. It's also dangerous. They are still lingering on that I just don't wanna deal with them rubbing in someone else getting attention over me. They hint messages at me without saying anything and then like k*** someone if I don't listen to it, when I think it's just something that came out and things will just keep coming out like that. If I move, these noises will still be here and I will have no one to keep me sane. I was even told to be locked up. I didn't do anything to deserve that. I feel that I am being disciplined by being put on psych pills I don't need. How can I live with people constantly talking to me in my room via how things on my computer load and these noises. I am already 28 years old. I need friends like that girl being locked up. My TV is making annoying suckling noises. They said someone I liked said what I did is "dead." (What I just wrote.) No, I am right. You guys are always mean to me. I don't care what mess you all are creating against me racially and combining it to tell me I'm bad. I will not be left to the mercy of following uptight parents who are privileged to waste me away in here so they don't go to jail for k***ing me. Now they said that person said this was "c***." That is not right. You do not do that to others and did not do it before. Stop lying. I'm trying to summarize how I feel. They keep adding annoying noises of people I don't like wanna talk to like this. They are rubbing in stuff all stuck up and senseless, just wasting their time on me. I was in the middle of a summary, and I can't keep having to go back and forth between posts. They won't be quiet. I didn't do anything. YOU DID. I will get you back for this by calling the police or something I hope.
I don't know what direction this is going.. but I am not gonna like "submit" myself to anyone. This is all just a big hullabaloo.
Don't you all have anything to do or talk about?
I mostly like that skinny mom and girl, the one going into treatment. It's mostly like me, except I had the police to fight. Ha ha and I meant it. My parents will never admit to being mean in their attitude. I don't want to get closer to them like that.
I don't believe those centers necessarily to be good, as the one I stayed in we did nothing but be punished by being locked in the horrid building.
I was impressed that the girl who looked similar to part African-American turned around and was happy in the hands of authority away from the snotty girls who are probably racist, no offense to them tho.
It made me feel guilty during this concerning things.. My parents are indeed the ones with an attitude towards me. I want our relationship to have some propriety. The pros are all bad and say my personality is paranoia schizophrenia and made it die away.
You know living in Florida people are really mean and they think they all that. As we speak, I hear little faint messages that I believe to be lies or something to confuse me and consume me and waste away my life. I don't know what you don't want me to do, but I am gonna call the police if it gets too bad. I have to find away to do this without being put into treatment. I was gonna check myself into treatment, but my parents won't tell me the price. It's also dangerous. They are still lingering on that I just don't wanna deal with them rubbing in someone else getting attention over me. They hint messages at me without saying anything and then like k*** someone if I don't listen to it, when I think it's just something that came out and things will just keep coming out like that. If I move, these noises will still be here and I will have no one to keep me sane. I was even told to be locked up. I didn't do anything to deserve that. I feel that I am being disciplined by being put on psych pills I don't need. How can I live with people constantly talking to me in my room via how things on my computer load and these noises. I am already 28 years old. I need friends like that girl being locked up. My TV is making annoying suckling noises. They said someone I liked said what I did is "dead." (What I just wrote.) No, I am right. You guys are always mean to me. I don't care what mess you all are creating against me racially and combining it to tell me I'm bad. I will not be left to the mercy of following uptight parents who are privileged to waste me away in here so they don't go to jail for k***ing me. Now they said that person said this was "c***." That is not right. You do not do that to others and did not do it before. Stop lying. I'm trying to summarize how I feel. They keep adding annoying noises of people I don't like wanna talk to like this. They are rubbing in stuff all stuck up and senseless, just wasting their time on me. I was in the middle of a summary, and I can't keep having to go back and forth between posts. They won't be quiet. I didn't do anything. YOU DID. I will get you back for this by calling the police or something I hope.
I don't know what direction this is going.. but I am not gonna like "submit" myself to anyone. This is all just a big hullabaloo.
Don't you all have anything to do or talk about?
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