Facebook - Dr. Phil

I guess we all have perks our parents don't take. I think I'm just out in life. It's because of my race. They think I don't have a right to really live. I'm a "girl in a bubble," "sheltered." If I want something, it's no. It's no because of my race.

As for this lovely, sweet girl, I think my parents would love her. They seem to react positvely to modest people.

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It's too bad she doesn't do more than kiss. It just find most boys a bit below my standards. They'd just wanna f with me in the wrong places. I know there are boys out there who don't just "go for the goal." Those other boys need to learn to grow up.

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I have lowered myself and looked up to others in order to have some kind of a relationship, but it's over for me. Everyone always has a real bad attitude over me. They have put cameras and speakers like around my room and house, and they control my life, like what I can feel and what I can bring myself to do or figure in life.

It's true, tho, I guess teen and youth adult girls are learning to explore themselves and realizing how cute the opposite gender can be. It's all about the youth today.

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I just have to remember to get enough rest, these days. I feel psyched out so that I have bad focus.  There is a reason, but it's not the answer to the problem.  Who else has someone sniff them out each time they don't like what goes on in your mind?  If I live on my own could be worse cuz no one will be there to act humanly towards me, and I will still have the speakers and cameras planted around my room where people do tests on me. I do not want them to simply pack up and go. I thought we were friends. Now I have none, in a way, just online friends.

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I'd rather live at home and study at a community college as my lowest option.

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You have to feel cool, cute, and competent yourself.

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(his book)

I can't wait to get it and read it when I get my allowance.

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(about dad's opinion)

That's her prerogative.

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I'm guessing you didn't get to pick already famous people.  Still, it was a job well done, and that's that.  All the teens in the world, each and every one deserve something special, something to believe in, "a support system."  I cannot reiterate how big the term "a support system" was in the earlier 2000s.  It goes along with topics I can think of now like leadership rather than having someone to nurture you, earlier being about 99% some kind of impossible persperation and 1% only inspiration, inspiration meaning just being excited about something and not working.  Some people can't work on things like that in their head.  They need the building blocks others had.  I just used to stare at that saying and not know how to comprehend it.  Working tires you out.  Excuse me, I was just explaining some key terms since it came into play of the topic.  These girls probably need a support system.

IMDb - The Soapbox

Re: uhh... am I overreacting to this??

I guess in a good way she must also be an "old soul," wise and "beyond her years.." I am sorry about that. My mom had a detached retina and cannot see out of that eye right now but said she would later. I am worried it's my fault. 1 thing was I got mad and judgedly unknowingly totally inappropriate when my mom got glasses, cuz I thought someone did it to her on purpose to teach me a lesson as a person. It must have been an accident. 

Is there a problem?

The people watching and responding (computer loading, little noises) me in my room constantly tell me I am not worth it and do not deserve anything, just because of things like cursing at the noises they make that bother me before.  I can explain, but no one cares.  I would say that it's like my journal and I want people to see how I feel.  People curse a lot and were considered good people for not being afraid to do it.  I didn't even try to make anyone feel bad.  What about them putting the noises in my room that bothered me?  Some people think it doesn't matter.  Think of the future and present.  I just keep feeling I'm told I'm not that good and don't deserve any of the esteem I had.

I know

Maybe it didn't really matter about the thing I complained about where no one is in line.

Dr. Phil

The 1st girl seemed very sweet.  She would make a good friend.  My friends were more hysterical, but I could see what I could accomplish with someone like her in my life.  The brother was rather hyper.  The father seemed reasonable and presentable, just there and making it good.

I am so proud of Dr. Phil writing about health for the 1st time in 10 years.  I'm on about it all the time.  It's like my obsession.  Not to repreach all the time, but like ecologically and religiously.

K

TV for an hour, a break, then another hour! well subtract commercials since it's recorded

Problem

I do not know if they are manipulating times on my computer that I post things, but I noticed no one else standing in line to worship the birth years of the early 1950s.  Are we missing something?

Problem

I feel thru the grapevine of support someone wants me to end.

Problem

They keep bothering me.

I think someone has an issue with me and I'm being attacked because of them/it.  They think I don't have an outgoing attitude and hate me for my race.

You can't say I'm bad.

You think I just am a machine that keeps doing something, but I didn't do anything.  You think you "have" me.  That if I don't agree I'm bad you'll keep hurting me.  Well, they're just pretending.  I don't see anything happening.  I care about how I act.

New Video of Me Singing

Problem

They might be rubbing in weird things and claim they meant something else important.

Problem

They're doing more memory associations.

Problem

When I search on YouTube, it so fancily pops up the picture after I scroll there rather than how it used to.

What's Popular

It's interesting how looking at what's popular who assumes they are not in the out crowd jumping into something.

Someone's being suggestive.

They want to suggest that only my dad is in my life.  He's rather big and tacky, and I'm greatly wanting to meet other people.  My dad even was threatening and wallowing in that thought.

Problem

and now there's a live meeting with Obama on YouTube.. wonder what they did with that

Problem

I saw a related commercial/ad, as well.  I was looking at a writer sing a song of another writer I both know from church.

Problem

They are picking at me that these drawings are not really my ideas, at all.

Problem

They said my art "was the one that poops at the gym."  How am I supposed to get that outta my head?

Problem

They keep bugging me whenever they feel.

Problem

I saw my parents talking, and they want to confine me to only look forward to meeting my dad whom I already know or should.  They think I am in trouble for 1 little thing I did a few times.  What?  Why didn't they say anything the 1st time.  They consider it a big thing.

Problem

He said it like it was a punishment for some weird thing that is not bad like at all.

Problems

My dad suddenly said to wait til Sunday to simply shave my head so I asked about why this time.  Then, he changed his mind.

New Art by Me

New Art by Me

Venus Fly Trap

New deviantART by Me

link

My Hair Got Shaved

It's uneven, tho.  My dad did it.

Nite Soon

Problem

They're playing around about the story thing like it's Music Education.  They made more copy topics.

Weird

Whenever I do something, I get this weird feeling I'm supposed to check if I'm worthy of it when I've done the trash already.  No offense.

Problem

I feel myself being drained of what I accomplished.

Problem

I don't play like I need to have a twisted relationship where I do penance.  I don't believe in penance.

Playing With Me

Someone on IMDb is writing a story and could PM me at any given time for whatever reason about the story because I wanted to reply to the topic.  I don't need to pay back in such a suggestive manner for some thing I've done all the time, just constantly checking out what I do and telling me I did it wrong so overturn some aspect of life for myself.  I just felt the muscles roll up my leg.  I don't mind being sorry for something I did by accident and being e-mailed while someone writes a story.. but it's done to mess with me.

Pressured

I feel a lotta pressure from key individuals.

Sharing

I already learned that.  What else do I need to understand?  To go along with things now.  So, why are things so quiet now, did I check Twitter yet tonight?  I know it'll be rather event-less?

I am rather amazed. :)

I see morphing before my eyes someone exactly like Sarah Brightman.  I am a big thing.  It is interesting what a big thing she is.  I find her a bit introverted in a feminine way.  She seems really sweet to me or was before.  Haven't really seen her, lately, anyway.  Guess we'll hear about her in space.  You'll love to hear of her in space, as well, I'm glad to hope.

Okay, I am proud people can exactly lead the way and how they are like her!  It's just a bit extreme, yet an achievement..  Congrats to the winners!  Lead on!  Huh huh!  It's fun to see people like her.

:)

What does it mean that I am, rather, amazed?  It just takes me by surprise.  It's like such a big emotional experience, really!..

From where exactly in Florida do you hail?

I did not grow up to listen to people baby dolling me up.  I mean like worshipping Floridians.  I am not worshipped, in some ways.  I am more known as a loser, in some ways.  I mean, there's more to life than what you might be able to find or do in Florida.  Hopefully, most people aren't too melted down.

I don't mean anything.  I was just thinking about something that hurt me that didn't make sense and this suddenly had to come up.  I mean, why would a Floridian think people want them dolled up, for real?  I mean, like being overly modern, too, and like not in a hollistic, nurturing fashion~  Where did this idea come from?  I guess it was influenced from watching Ellen.  She brought 2 boys from LA and their father and found out there was a lot done for the kids, but the adults are a bit on edge.  I am seriously wondering where in Florida do people go and practice like being taunting.  Like, ooh la la, like oh my gaawd, like like, omigosh!  These things are okay.  It is hard to describe what I'm sensing.  Like, they aren't really like that in Florida.  I know.  In some ways, it seems much worse.  It's more like being fruity and juicy and even mysterious.  They are spoiled over people like me.  It's like LA in some mold, but we don't have limits.  I guess LA is more substantial.

So, the point of this post is wondering where in Florida are they cold and stand-off-ish yet think they are cool when I don't know of any legitimate place in Florida of that nature.  True, I was thinking of something else.  It's too bad.  I wonder if anyone will connect the dots.  Like I said, I was just wondering where in Florida they act like that.

Ellen

The mountain climbers were quite respectable.

The guy acting with Johnny Depp was quite handsome and an attractive person.

The singers were cute and had good figures.  Worked hard.

The twin boys and their dad were so cute.

Ellen seemed to be in an okay situation today.  She is so smart.  Modest about that, too.  She truly is a professional.  I wonder what most people see, tho.  I wonder if the people in college she shows could ever home to amount to her like their dream or know someone like her or her herself anyone at all out there.  I heard she eats a lot it seems and says she works out each day.  I tried dieting.  I ate a lotta healthy food before and tried to stay active, worked out at least a little each day one year when I was still in high school.