I think.
My brain feels like a bowl with fish swimming in it.
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Update
Public Page
Problems
I am just trying to address the problems in my life basically but wish I could do it without placing blame on others and unintentionally to mean any specific harmful things nor anything bad in the end/as the statement. It is to collect for things like Dr. Phil and my therapist, if not for reasons like talking it out, too.
Problems
I am just trying to address the problems in my life basically but wish I could do it without placing blame on others and unintentionally to mean any specific harmful things nor anything bad in the end/as the statement. It is to collect for things like Dr. Phil and my therapist, if not for reasons like talking it out, too.
Ellen
It was so cool to see Bruno Mars.
The Philadelphian pizza guy who gives to the homeless was so cute!
The Philadelphian pizza guy who gives to the homeless was so cute!
Problem
I was thinking of not liking someone wanting to be the baby entering my family and my dad made a loud noise and I felt pressure down the center of the front half of my head. I hate the people doing the experiment and esp. my dad. I wanna get outta this. Nevermind what you think "hate" really has to mean.
Dr. Phil
I felt that the girls who did not make a scene were unfortunate because they deserve more attention than they get. Other people probably have a sugar rush and suffer something unfair in life.
Being Right
It is clear these people are not right. What is important is that everyone gets treated how they want. We already all care. It's like people are just fishing for attention. That's something no one else seems to have touched on in this way or a certain way. I said these people are not right to be mean. We should forget about them all the time. I mean, they're not all bad. They just don't feel comfortable around me. People are weird and think if I don't do something with my parents, I can't do it with anyone else. I am annoyed at the constant what-if threats, tho, like that they wanna hunt them down. It's something that must be addressed. I am already upset about my relationship with these people being ruined because of how someone else choses is the right way to live. My parents want me out, but when I am around they annoy me in how they act in different ways. If it weren't for the other people, I'd have a nice life at home with my parents. Not only that, I get problems with how lotta people in public behave towards me, like they're just out to get me, sometimes. It happens all around here, and I am worried in some other places it would be like that, as well, but not where I want to live.
Constant Threats to Loved Ones
People who are nice to me are under constant threat as well if they do something someone else just doesn't feel like liking, paying an overly amount of attention to me and being upset about every little thing.
Problemo Mucho Grande
Every time I do something now because of the cursing about noises put in my room, it's always about someone else before me as though I were not ever considered so great as I was. It's like it will never stop. I feel made fun of and trapped as everyone does it, except people I gloss over on the streets.
Question
Disclaimer: I am just trying to address the problems in my life basically but wish I could do it without placing blame on others. I discluded names. :)
Just because I thought cursing was okay and no one said not to, I cursed at the noises in my room that someone put there with little microphones.. I stopped when I found people didn't like it. It seems because of this everything in my life is going. For example, all my relatives and in-laws have been hypnotized by the people doing this to me to be mean or stand-off-ish, like they never knew me. I saw some of them for the 1st time in over 10 years. I find this hysterically catastrophic.
I had a thing about not telling I could not finish all the reading in high school, but I figured it was time to put the cards on the table and not everyone is taunting me for "telling." I find this outlandish, as well.
People are picking on me right and left for anything. Someone wanted to imagine having babies just to outride me and probably for the silly reasons I mentioned afore. I just felt a joke about it in my head, and it became a party against me. Pay attention to that it was for that same reason and they were being silly. I was in my bathroom today, and I heard noises of "pretty baby" over and over in a sorta hidden sound. It made me feel that I had to let nothing be okay for me but for their made up baby.
My mom came in my room, and I talked and she put her hand on the doorknob in a way that didn't make me feel good. I still feel the pang, and I think it's still because of me cursing about the noises in my room. See, they keep telling me what I can and can't say. It's my blog. It's my right to complain about illegal activity. Now, "I'm paying for it." How tacky is that? I didn't say who did it, but I should. I should be honest to get this whole mess fixed, but nothing seems to happen because of what I say in my blog to that point in success.
Last night, I was feeling betrayed by extremely attractive people who made it their business to tell me they liked me in some way. It's like I did something, like every little thing was bad- -and get this, there's someone who probably this is for today telling me I can't be all that like I did something. This person also keeps at me and wants everyone else to have what I had because of something I did, probably spamming my friends and family who would not respond to my e-mails, somewhat strangely, now. I thought we had something new going. It's like they tricked me into talking to them. They came to visit, some of them.
I have a right to fight about my life. I want to have a list of things I can easily show Dr. Phil and also my therapist. I discluded names for now, so be thankful.
The people experimenting on me are making little noises or flashing different levels of internet connectivity in a way that sends forth a message somehow or seems like an insult of some kind that comes to me. Do you know what this is?
So, to introduce these new kinds of posts, I'm putting them on my blog so no one checks 2 blogs, and I'm resorting to labeling it to look it up.
I went to go post this, and they are already beginning to act threateningly. If you feel that way, I don't see why you do it. You are just hypnotized.
I know what I say is not merely enough of what's happened in my past. They have to resort to alluding to disgusting thoughts to associate with possible future children and other things like that.
I can see where I should put up with it, but there's more than that. People are all so racist outside to me, I can tell. At home, it's constant secret attacking me, more and more of those secret messages in behavior, attitude, and the kind of sounds they make around the house. I could move out, was gonna move to Miami as a secretary, but still it seems unfair and that I'd still be bothered with the secret messages from little noises from people experimenting on me. Anyone who gets close to me disagrees with me, too. It's just random people on the street I meet that don't always do this.
I'm not trying to attack anyone, just address the problems in my life since I wanna post it to Dr. Phil and why do I even have to see a therapist .. counselors generally don't fix my problems.
Just because I thought cursing was okay and no one said not to, I cursed at the noises in my room that someone put there with little microphones.. I stopped when I found people didn't like it. It seems because of this everything in my life is going. For example, all my relatives and in-laws have been hypnotized by the people doing this to me to be mean or stand-off-ish, like they never knew me. I saw some of them for the 1st time in over 10 years. I find this hysterically catastrophic.
I had a thing about not telling I could not finish all the reading in high school, but I figured it was time to put the cards on the table and not everyone is taunting me for "telling." I find this outlandish, as well.
People are picking on me right and left for anything. Someone wanted to imagine having babies just to outride me and probably for the silly reasons I mentioned afore. I just felt a joke about it in my head, and it became a party against me. Pay attention to that it was for that same reason and they were being silly. I was in my bathroom today, and I heard noises of "pretty baby" over and over in a sorta hidden sound. It made me feel that I had to let nothing be okay for me but for their made up baby.
My mom came in my room, and I talked and she put her hand on the doorknob in a way that didn't make me feel good. I still feel the pang, and I think it's still because of me cursing about the noises in my room. See, they keep telling me what I can and can't say. It's my blog. It's my right to complain about illegal activity. Now, "I'm paying for it." How tacky is that? I didn't say who did it, but I should. I should be honest to get this whole mess fixed, but nothing seems to happen because of what I say in my blog to that point in success.
Last night, I was feeling betrayed by extremely attractive people who made it their business to tell me they liked me in some way. It's like I did something, like every little thing was bad- -and get this, there's someone who probably this is for today telling me I can't be all that like I did something. This person also keeps at me and wants everyone else to have what I had because of something I did, probably spamming my friends and family who would not respond to my e-mails, somewhat strangely, now. I thought we had something new going. It's like they tricked me into talking to them. They came to visit, some of them.
I have a right to fight about my life. I want to have a list of things I can easily show Dr. Phil and also my therapist. I discluded names for now, so be thankful.
The people experimenting on me are making little noises or flashing different levels of internet connectivity in a way that sends forth a message somehow or seems like an insult of some kind that comes to me. Do you know what this is?
So, to introduce these new kinds of posts, I'm putting them on my blog so no one checks 2 blogs, and I'm resorting to labeling it to look it up.
I went to go post this, and they are already beginning to act threateningly. If you feel that way, I don't see why you do it. You are just hypnotized.
I know what I say is not merely enough of what's happened in my past. They have to resort to alluding to disgusting thoughts to associate with possible future children and other things like that.
I can see where I should put up with it, but there's more than that. People are all so racist outside to me, I can tell. At home, it's constant secret attacking me, more and more of those secret messages in behavior, attitude, and the kind of sounds they make around the house. I could move out, was gonna move to Miami as a secretary, but still it seems unfair and that I'd still be bothered with the secret messages from little noises from people experimenting on me. Anyone who gets close to me disagrees with me, too. It's just random people on the street I meet that don't always do this.
I'm not trying to attack anyone, just address the problems in my life since I wanna post it to Dr. Phil and why do I even have to see a therapist .. counselors generally don't fix my problems.
Apology
Sorry, I thought it was okay to use a word that is lodged in my head as cool and usable. I thought it in my head. As to what it was for, I was feeling very bad and that I could not trust anyone. I still feel somewhat alone ultimately, but that's okay. I did not mean it in a bad way. I guess I just had exercised poor judgement. It might seem odd, but it's true. I don't know what to say about it, exactly. No, I didn't post it online nor say it. I think I might, but at that point I probably would exercise more natural restraint. You can be upset at me and avoid me and forget about me, but I'm guessing you won't totally, at least not right now.
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