TV

Well, it's now or never.  I've been listening to my singing.  Oh my, already after 11.. and I have at least 2 shows to try to indulge in right.  We'll see how it goes today.  We are so fortunate for all this now.

You can forget about it..

..I'm not bothered by what was said.

Apology + Problems

I'm sorry if what I wrote was a bother if you know what triggered the ideas for things in general.

Also, it seems people are freely abusing me emotionally like it's the right thing.  I haven't exactly been mean back.  I don't like how people identify me, what I really think and want.

Also, when Mariah Carey was on, I felt my nose go like hers and it's not a funny way to be.  I don't crush the particles in my nose just because I have Asian.  ':|  Too bad it was on Ellen.  It is an obsene thing to do..to me..is what I'm trying to say.  It's not of class.  I'm just elaborating on a statement.  My nose really is damaged partly.  They just made a loud noise that seems to have affected -my- possible future babies.  Grow up!  Get a life!  I don't need'r (need your) tests..  Tell me why?  I have a right to talk about my damaged nose.

They just made my internet stop, so I have to restart my computer.  They are throwing in more "baby" games.

Steak

We had steak, today, and my parents had 1/2 of a shared 1 and I had 1.  I also had 2 of the cut potatos and some cook'd onions.  I jogged/walked with my weights about an hour, my ankle, otherwise would be the full hour.  Weights 2 pounds.

A Reach

You must have really reached in there for it to come outta me like that.

Being There 1st and Last

Older and Younger people don't matter-  People just say they do more.

What?  People think they matter just because they were there 1st or are more special as the youngest.  Matter more.  Like we don't.

Fear

People are afraid to reward me when I am right.  What does that mean must happen?

I love my 2 pd. weights.

TV Schedule

Ellen + Phil

As long as I have spare time, try for Fallon, sometimes Myers

New Recordings of Me Singing

Racial Tensions

People are afraid to get close to me cuz my race my make them get made fun of.  What about me?

Plans

I guess I will call my old college tomorrow about the supposed financial holds and get into my PIN.  I might have to cook tomorrow, tho, so we'll see.  Maybe the next day.  I also have my ironing, who knows how tired that will make me on meds.

College

I'll have to see how the bus goes.  I might do Music Ed now but am not sure if I will be advised to add any General Studies.  Singing is pretty easy.  If I made it to Loyola, maybe next year, would have to follow online and not via TV, unless I could get to one.  I like the dorms.  Hard to afford an apartment and car.  The meds make me tired, and if I leave home I can get off them.

Not Used to a Daily Grind Here

I was kicked outta my major in college and told to take a long break kinda..

I am holding onto my ability to take in 2 hour long TV shows a day.  If I go to school, I wonder how this will work out.

I have heard all my life people live in front of TV, like what seemed like 1/2 the day.

Older Adult versus Younger Adult

ages 28/29+

Random People

Do you want that to happen?  Isn't it embarrassing?

Who.. I dunno, I guess I don't have any friends.

I wish I wish

to feel loved, for someone to pick me up/"hold me.."

Funny

Also, 2 females from San Francisco ruined some of the relatively most reputable cultures in the South.

So

Before the girl from LA moved to the nation's oldest continuing city in the US in NE FL, we were all just schoolkids learning life and learning..

POV

Does 1 need say the truth or say what's could be seen as wrong?

Being on Top

What's wrong with wanting to be on top?

Sin

I feel as though part of me has sinned, but it could lead to a pattern of inconveniences that lead to worse places, if possible.  I just needed a little hint.  I did tell my mom I said that.  She mailed it.  I had to apologize.  She's keeping more of my money from me, now.  I don't wanna be in limbo in the world/part of my extended family..

Sooner Than Later, Before Rather Than After

If someone "knows" something or wants something in how I live, they need to tell me of it sooner than later, before rather than after.

I wrote to my Gramma saying I thought she tried to kill my mom with cancer by making annoying noises on her plate.  My mom needs peace and quiet.  I told my dad I didn't even want her to come..!  I wanted to explain why I snapped at her or got upset.  I didn't shout.

They think since I brought it up to apologize it "means something."  They are digging in my past looking for things to justify a decision of pleasure against me in their older age.

Part of it was it was in a long letter on an expensive card.  There is not anything wrong.  It is a vague matter of preference to get settled.  It's probably wrong to think against it.  Yet, it can be easily fixed by not mentioning it and seeing if they want it mentioned therefore.  Just say something else vaguely but not it itself, in its place.

Shark With Long Tail

link

Health

Wanna sleep but restless.

Breakfast
-grits and butter
-2 lo cooked bacon
-2 halves of English muffin with butter
-3 scrambled eggs

gym - treadmill lite jogging for 30 min. - my dislocated ankle hurts - did some incline to 7% for a few minutes .. weight training

McDonald's - 2 big sanwiches (guacamole fried chicken + deluxe kind of burger w/baon,) small fries, McFlurry (M&M's)

supper later

Trying to Be Nice

Sometimes, when everyone's sitting around, an explanation is due about a lot of different things.  I feel no one talks to me, and I feel it is wrong.  I feel I am speaking out, but it's just a blog.  Sure, it's a way to communicate, and we should be careful of things like curse words.  We should all try to get along and find interesting things to think.  There's not much if you don't have a hobby and job.  I like travel, but I like learning about different places and don't always go there.  Sometimes, I try talking about some of the places I used to live, something to keep me occupied, as I liked exploring different kinds of cultures I was in.  As to the point of this blog (post,) I feel that if you say something obvious it's not really something new and there are more problems to solve possibly that could come up or maybe not if someone's really happy .. how will we know?  Maybe, cuz things aren't as good as we want.  Maybe, they should be seen as different, for a start.  And to appropriately say how compared in the right way to the right things/people.

Should I even be talking about these things?  I say that they should be taken care of if it involves me, rather than floating like a million particles above my head.  It seems everything I talk about is like this..

The History of My Extended Family

They do not know .. I forget.  Anyway, they ..  Oh yes.  They think you automatically go to your siblings and have a say in their children, when you have nothing to do with them.  You only do that to sincerely help out in any way possible.  Well, that's not exactly how I wanted it put, but I mean other families have the opposite way that I described.  I feel my extended family thinks they know all about me, when I'm just sitting on the internet for the past nearly 10 years and you have access to all I say there.  There isn't "some other world" going on "as we speak."  What do they "know all about" if I am just sitting here on the internet innocently posting away, healing so I can go back to community college via bus and therefore work is out of the question.

Facebook - Barbara Barrett

If that's true, then what would be the problem? ,:| People create fights to justify relationships and have fun, like no one's looking and no one matters, as long as it's legal and not illegal to them.
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It is done to children who do not scream nor make a scene, too, and that is more important, tho becomes less important.
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I drink coffee like a treat and not as the main entree of breakfast. Pills have side-effects that seem to make you tired when you wake up or in a way when you try to go to sleep.

Or

Being in trouble for things from the past all of a sudden, but nothing really bad, like maybe you got upset at someone who was being mean to you but didn't hurt them.

Normal Life

What do you think of going along and having a normal life, and all of a sudden you're in trouble when you've done nothing big?  Everyone tells you you have an attitude and messes with your thoughts.

Facebook - Dr. Phil

They need to be more established in their manners that rub off to how teens perceive their life is there.  My parents just test me, wait to make me mad so I throw something or stomp my foot .. and then call the police.  They do it on purpose to set me up.  I'm on medication now that I don't need for a disorder and depression, which I both don't have.  I 1st went taken by my family because I seemed to display questionable behavior, giving up losing my 4.0 and mainly staying in my room after choir at church for Christmas.  I was there for the New Year.  My dad brought pizza, and they left me there to take the psychotic medicine.

Facebook - Dr. Phil

Most people are mean, even nice people, for "reasons out of their control" like being stuck on a protocol. One common example is racism. Nice people practice it. Then, all the other things fall into their places, as well.

Problem

I woke up to being made fun of.  They said they'd plant noises in my possible future daughter's ears to stimulate her in inappropriate ways.