Monday, December 15, 2014

I don't wanna

sound like I'm socially attacking anyone.  What I think?  It's not really an attack on me.  I need to find some way to occupy my mind.  It was supposed to be this.

You Bad Adult Figures

always thinking I have to hold out for no reason at all out of nowhere

while others are protected

WHAT

You don't have any right to hurt me.

I SAID NO

Why're you talking to me and being mean.  I wasn't the one who wanted to talk to you.  You threatening me to shit?

It's interesting to see..

..how hard some people work to be nice.

You're a joke.

Protecting them.  They attacked me.

I don't literally mean  you are a joke.

Problem

We need 500 subscribers to name our YouTube.  I bet they did that to hurt me knowing I put off picking a name.

I don't wanna think of my weird neighbor/s

every time I say hi!  What the *beep* is this?  This is not okay.  I'm talking about something that's not okay.  They just said something else again.  How dare they!

Is it right..

..to be prejudiced against non-European people who are attractive more than most? cuz they're hard to get?

Problem

You want me to feel tacky like that image of a bloating girl "going up to my parents" or whoever in the future.. and suffer here while you take in pleasure where you are?

You

What if I said you're not still in the game?

Problem

Someone bad is letting out a hoot over if I do something that makes him/her feel questionable, like a soldier in uniform waiting in line for approval.

Problem

My eyes are bothering me now from the damn psychiatrist.  Damn is the right word..  you know why.

They are being *beep* and putting hypnotic noises in my room.

What am I to do?  This is my day!

Problem

My neighbors are messin' with me.  I think my brother just got home from college.

So what if he called me Chinese and I was upset.  He did it in secret message.  Get a life!

I guess..

..I should be concerned about if anyone's feelings would have been hurt reading this.  Who could have set me a bad example?  There's always 2 sides.  Not in every always, tho.

Instagram

Roul from The Phantom of the Opera

It's fun if you don't have to work like me, but I'm on pills that make me tired.. I was going to Disney each week since last year, moved here 2005.. I don't know what it is, but imagine not living a normal life if you live here, even worse than LA. When you live here, it's like you have a tracker that lets people know all of your imperfections and robs from you your mental stability and talents.

Basking in My Glory

Why does this person thinks she has it all yet keeps having to be as jealous as she is?  Like, she's rubbing in that she thinks she did everything right behavior-wise, and it's not like I didn't, which is what I'm talking about mostly.

I don't wonder if even..

..it'd'a'been worth it with The Phantom of the Opera more of my X marks the spot to tour for nearly a year with those people and Chris Mann from The Voice and Phantom.  Imagine if I got the role and the Phantom was really young or something and I was sorta the fat lady that sings last-

If anything makes anyone uncomfortable..

..I'm so sorry.  I'll see what else can come up and how much I can tone it down next time and eventually ignore it..

I looked thru some of my blog myself.

Well, I just got bothered again.  None of it was really mean but unaccepting.  I'm not gonna be Jesus Christ.  Other than dying on the cross, he had it good.  I don't know much about the 40 day fast then.  Animals do things like that.

I take it all back, but it too late.

Not really.. I don't know what too late is on a blog unless you said something arrestable.  I didn't insult anyone.  It just came off that way.  I don't think it looked good.  I might have gotten something out of it, though.

Asians

Do they strive to be like Middle Easterners?

What?

That's not exactly how I wanted it to come out.  Lotta things happening, thought I could get on and refresh this time.

Me

Arrest me!
Quit getting at people.  Or why are you getting at people?  That's like m*****ing.
Forum

At least..

..it's something that's not about me.

Problem - cont.

I should be nice, but it seems it was done to punish me.  That's 2 messages.  The paying attention to someone else more now.  She doesn't deal with this.
Eurasian Nation
I said I wanna know why I'm talking to these annoying people.  It was okay before.

Not Allowed

My dad making me feel in a certain area, like sliced bread now.

Problem

These people won't leave and keep giving me glitches today.

Problem

Why do you keep doing something to bother me?  I haven't bothered you.  You've bothered me.

Now, they're using the fact they pay attention to someone to bother me, like for the 1st time as something instant.  It's not really nice to pay attention just to this person cuz they keep beating me up over her.

OK

I'm really sorry for blowing up, but I didn't really say anything bad, did I?  Just that I hate when I get aroused to be upset.  People are really being mean to me.  I just wanted to talk it out and get counseled.  Looks like it's just a tool.

What I Meant

by wrong tool was not just my father himself.  Why would I even say that, anyway, just simply going crazy?  Well, no..

Problem

What if I grow up or have a family and am still dealing with your ghastly messages?

Well

You attack me like crazy.  I can't even function without getting upset.

More Bothering Me

I know who's doing it.. my dad randomly comes in to say bye and things or via electronically.  Trying to get a rise with an inappropriate tool, a waste of my life.

Facebook

Josh Groban

Not to be rude, but I was trying to get to sing for events like that and nothing has shown me the way.

All my posts

are addressed to no one it seems, so don't take it like I attacked anyone, anyway.

Feel bad?

':(

Problem

They are following me around.  Stop acting like I did something.  No one cares about the person who does that..doing that.

Bad Secret Message

It connects to someone..  It was in a different place than before, too.  I don't wanna think of this!

Found It

Problem

I have to search a long time to get to the location of the file on my computer..

cont.

I waited recording to post this, like some loser.

Problem

My sound recording thing is gone.  They are mean to me if I tell.  Also they want it about someone other than me.

Irritated

Neighbors..

My Distance

I'm not supposed to be that close to anyone, even my family.

More

So, now, Baby Boomers are not nice.  They are jealous agewise.

Also, why would you someone who hate me look for a message every time I use the restroom?

I'm hungry!  Had an ample breakfast.

I think I even did what my dad wanted..

..they wanted us to be good at being European
All you do is make fun of me cuz I'm good to be different.

Do you..

Do you want yer mom or "daddy dear" to give you messages of love from other people?

Problem

Now, they are messing with me again just so I can't say every time they do something.  They get upset, and they keep doing it, the dodos!  I know it's wrong!

Facebook

Chris Mann

  • Jaimz Dillman You were super sweet speaking with my son Saturday night. Gorgeous voice, nice man, what a great combo.
    • Christina Barrett Yes, any lucky person to get to work with him. People used to say the same of me, but I guess things just got a bit untamed for me.. I'm guessing you're from up north since you live in Orlando. 

Sometimes

you gotta be happy even if something looks Asian and not Jewish.

So

I'm just sitting here waiting for someone to get their attention while I just rot.

Again, I'm really sorry.

I didn't really "say anything," but I know it rubs off that way.

So

Why do I get so bothered?  They must time it just right.

Instagram

Instagram

LOL! I'm sure they're wanted there.... there's dancing, food, and things to buy! :)

Instagram

People must love it in Ft Lauderdale! Hey, I was born in a hospital there! It seems like an adult/family town, tho. I remembered "Broward County" well. It is the best place I've lived, possibly. Did you know Belle from Beauty and the Beast is from there?

Problem

They are following me around sending me suggestive messages, like they are a good person.

Streamlined

That Christine didn't take to him so much.  Just saw him as prestigious.

No Game?

Tacky.  Just follow online, then.

My Goal

for it not to be tacky for you

We can play the game, but they came on a bit mad.

So

Talk to me about Chris Mann and I know it's not me you even want to talk to.  BINGO.

Fail!

This whole day on here.  Was I sorting out feelings?  Yes.  Did I lose something?  I lost something in me.  Did I mean anything bad?  Noo.

And I like

shit dogs.

No one

would let you get away with what yo do.

I'm just asking

but you just wanna fight.

So, what, I have this person like a shit dog?

You

Why don't you spend time, cuz you ain't good enough?
LOL.. So, anyway, why is everything we think about this other girl getting someone?  So, I'm nothing?  I'm not gonna turn into shit..  Got 2 more Tweets on my feeds that are now open just now.  This is that *** thing again.  You won't leave me alone!  You keep telling me I'm shit!

Bored

I would talk about myself..

What It Was

I repeat, I said bullshit to the idea I'm a case.  Like "dangerous" I said..

So

for the remaining peanut gallery I can sniff like a fart, *** was when I was directing it away from people and so repeated.. bullshit?  I wasn't really raging mad as a person saying it.  It just fit.. I'll try not to look bad nor use it too much.

And ya'll have fun with Ellen.  I'll watch, but I want you and her to have a healthy time.  I don't know why I can't find that.  It isn't fun going thru posts on Twitter.  Do I need another account?

But

this is my blog and what I feel diarrheas onto here in little dark droplets.  I realize to stop, tho, and I bet you live to push me more and got nuttin' to live fer (nothing to live for) other than hurting me and taking what I earn.

Maybe

I could have said something I oughtn't, but I will not take this people watching me all the time and saying I'm bad, whenever I see my dad and mom!

Worthless and ***

Whoever is doing this.  I can see who it's in the style of I mean.  This is worthless, and it's ***.  Not any person..  Whoever "all" is mean like this.  It's ***!

Maybe, I didn't need to think that..  I can't see someone nice doing this to me to waste my time.  I don't really know anyone, and I get interrupted and my reputation put away.

I don't mean to rub it in, but I was explaining so it didn't sound like I meant someone themself but the thing.

No, I will not listen to you.  I can say what I want about this bullshit!!  Yes!  I you don't think so, that's stupid!  I don't mean it for sure, but it seems it happens whenever you don't like something.  It is getting in my life and in the way.  I don't mean anyone is bullshit.  I meant something else I forget.  The whole idea I am dangerous, would you agree, or are you just racist and don't care about me really?

More

Visual about someone else.

Problem

Why won't these people stop?  They sent me a message via Word Captcha.

More Messages

My recorder didn't work after recording 23 minutes.

So what

you want me to be the bad guy, liar.  Whoever you is.

Not Saying No to This

but wonder why I am being followed in all things I like in a snotty way.. know you would be snotty in a goody good way if you read this.

More

Like they said it just cuz I wanted to get counseling about what they already did to me.  I don't take punishment.  I didn't do anything.

Well

They are just plain mean, but that's what they are.  I don't like the way they said what was okay to say.

Friendly Update.. Really

So, see what they're up to now.  I'm singing and recording and typing between breaks.

They are still doing it.. which is up to them, looks tacky to me, tho..

Me thinks

twas just upset.. maybe just said once or twice..

Just a feeling reaction.  Wanted help not war.

Wonder Wonder Wonder

Why was I going on to complain so?  I stopped.  It's not something I keep up.  I say what's uncomfortable.  Dunno.  :(  It gets me thru my thoughts.

People

who spend life criticizing others

Some Things

better left unsaid

What It Might REALLY Be

Maybe, they want a backup person to pretend.

Getting Close

I'd be happy if I were friends with Bella Thorne, "but she doesn't have any."

Now, what?

Naptime, singtime.

So

Did you find me by looking at my blog?

Why be jealous of me??  I'm "always in trouble" no matter what I literally do.

I'm not here to joke around.

You think I was bad and got something, but you're just being a hissy fit kitty cat, reveling in the idea of being bad and uncovering who's good and cool at the same time.  Is that the name of that part of these games?  Wow, I k***ed someone and have to pay.  I didn't really.  You did something, you have to pay, if any of you did, right?

I am not wanted

thanks to my parents.

I wanted to make things better by complimenting someone on Twitter who's lucky to be well-liked.

he he he

The only people to be jealous of are Chris Mann's wife and Portia di Rossi.  We're all in the same boat.  What about being happy with yourself?  I think I will try to diet again sometime as much as before.  I did my work out.

And I am sorry if you read this and it makes you uncomfortable, but let's be pretty honest, eh?  That's the name of this game I see so far..  Why not be more exciting?  Portia is a scaredy cat.

What about

no one?  I am very alone..

It looks like

you're forcing me to get into people who don't care if I get into them like that.

I feel so bad.

My life is in limbo.

Otherwise, I just feel I don't know exactly how to say some things, so this is who I am.

You did show up another girl to me.  I didn't act mean to start.

For Songbirds

It's too late.  They've shown us off.  Have you tried to make it big or are you already with a CD out?

But no, we still might be up there but with issues with others on things like publicity/fame.  Can you sing a lot, like to perform concerts/shows?  I know I could have, and so can you.  That's something of a goal I have in taking singing.  There are a lotta interesting people, but most are office workers.  :p

WHAT IF I SAID NO

I don't want to talk to said person as much as you say I am.  It doesn't "mean" I can't talk to someone else I like.

IT IS MY RIGHT

Look at me wasting my time posting all this + filling out Word Captchas.  I have a right to talk.  It's not all for everyone/anyone to read.  Just wasting my time cuz you found out my race.

Problem

You can't teach my brother a lesson for something that's not his fault or we can come on you all inappropriate, too, which we wouldn't want to do.

Problem

Why don't you be quiet?  Why would I talk to you?  You're ruining my life.  You're just insulting me all the time.

Problem

They won't leave me alone!!  I got a message that bothered me.  It's another thing that doesn't make sense.

Problem

I'm sorry, but are you gonna quit the nasty messages via Word Captcha?

Problem

Quit taking my time.

They want to pair me with people who people don't like for real reasons and another girl with everyone who comes my way.  I am sorry for the people being left out, but I didn't live for your tackiness and reveling in stupid things.

You all are mean.

You pretend you aren't.  Well, things aren't gonna be going your way with me apparently since that's what'll rub off from what I believe now.

Problem

Quit saying I believe stupid stuff.

Problem

I thought I told  you to stop.. why are you going insane like a looney telling me I'm shit physically?  I wanted to diet but accidentally got a small variety of sweets and my dad is like staring at me now.  I gotta make a salad.  Wow, I'm shit, though?

Serious Talk, Now

Well, no one's here and no one cares, so.. was gonna talk about you liking Chris Mann.

What's your routine?

Do you go online in the mornings??  I don't really work anyway, so yes anyway.  I come for my blog and I roll over to things like my Newsfeed on Twitter or whatever it's called.

for those who don't know what that is..

..despite your being mean, I know there's good in there somewhere

..you may fail, but it's not my fault

..I just got another message and got upset

..I'll leave you with my blessings

Sad

Not talking to everyone, but I feel they just want to mess me up early on so I chase people away with what I say when they might be confused.  They wouldn't like what I posted.  Not much going on in life.

It's not my fault

if you find yourself in less than perfection.  You've grown up your whole life with your parents.

It must hurt..

..in some way not to be the on and give some satisfaction to see from atop.

I'm not the one to say..

..I'm not sure what you're asking of me myself.  I can see you're saying other hurtful things.  It looks like I can't get a yes.

This one person acts like they're nice so what's the big deal, but I just saw something a bit different.

Problem

Why are you tailing me as I post this?  

You all look like a bunch of losers.

I hope you don't continue to chase people away from me.

Wow

You think I wanna put up with a princess act?  This is quite illegal.  I could tell the police if this were real.  What you said was rude..  I'm not talking about something else.

Weird Person

lying about what people really want

Just admit it, it's only you guys that are really rude.

What I Deal With in the Pigeon Hole

They want to all take what I have or had like it didn't even matter.  I don't care what you think.  I bet it's from that cursing of the noises in my room.  You take advantage of things like that all too much.  I don't always appreciate talking to you all and feel I have nothing to do.  They also just bothered me in another way.  I don't care how good you think you are.  They're being silly bothering me more..

Morning

Just ate "breakfast."  I got all this food at the grocery.  I may go back to my diet.  Could not even eat 1/2 piece of pizza.

Waitin for my computer to do something before I do some/a little ab work.

:(

Don't wanna go but gotta-

You're all messed up.

You think that being mean will improve you.

Nite

Nite Soon

Story

There was a girl in a dress that was tight down her torso and at the end poofs, in green and yellow with 3/4 sleeves.  She was only 15.  Her name was Meg.

There was a boy with a family of girls.  The girls were Bella 16, Chloe Grace 17, and Nancy Grace 18.  The boy's name was Eric Rod.

The girl in the dress's name was Christine.

There were a bunch of witches and warlocks/wizards, a few angels, and some giant fairies.  There were also quite handsome young men who knew how to quart courters.

Eric, age 18, said hi to Christine/Meg..  Let's call her CM.  She was depressed, now in a red dress, picking at the flowers after an hour on the farm and tidying the house.  "My dreamboat CM, we are to all go away on a journey which will cheer you."  The man in mystery came to her and successfully was also able to caress her as he did to those around her.

That day came, and CM waited in a gold traveling dress.  He came and took her hand and kissed it and looked her in the face.  He kissed her on the lips and started to rub her in hopes she'd feel better.  Now, they were not romantically related.  They just were like friends, except he was years her senior.  It was amazing what a difference in age did in their friendship, but CM liked being a young girl.

They were waiting by a river they were to sail down.

You think you're just saying something.

Well, said it, I don't care still.

Jealousy

The world should not be that way.  Is it guilt?

If you're rude..

..why?

I mean, I got a good idea from all this, too.

Rude

to suggest I don't deserve something for no reason when I don't care but to rub it all in like it's a statement using me and someone who's mean to me a lot or someone related

Why

on IMDb is it that people die at the last stretch of the night? on Soapbox

More Invasion of My Blog

I see now you think you made everything that could ever happen to me but everyone else can have what happens to them.  Showing off by being upset in mood per se??  I hope that did not hurt your feelings, but it's funny to look at it that way.  I mean really it was rather inappropriate.  I wasn't just saying it.  It was probably partly joking.  I can hold it in better.  Sorry.  Sorry for what I said, but I don't know what to say in its place and am onto other things!~

Upset

People think I'm selfish to think I deserve anything and that I should secretly reserve anything good that happens to me for someone in my place and to somehow make it better.  You didn't say that to that person.  But in a way you did, to everyone, and some people are not like everyone.

I'm truly sorry

you cannot come.

Wait..

..isn't what you just said not true and is tacky?

It's my life.

Are you onto me..in various facets?  I'm fine without people poking at me.... I'm fine.  Isn't it funny??  Ha ha ha.  Nothing specific.  I feel like I'm on a Ouiji board.  All alone.  (Like in a movie.)

What I mean is I am a normal person, and I get perverted questions of various kinds every day!

Just Being Weird

or do you really hope to meet someone I met without looking silly?

Guess what good news I found out??

Laura Mann is Chris Mann's wonderful girl!  They been together too long without marrying.  I wonder if Chris has any friends.  Of course, her.  ..You know, I dunno how I feel about my parents, they don't count.

Cannot Seem to Get Any Better Than This

I was worried

it was a fight about if I was worth it from my past.

Why

do people who like me like me?

I need to do some YouTube videos.  My diet's going good.  :|

Funny

I think Italians are white and European and well-connected.  They just aren't German.  That's the Swiss culture.

What's this

blast? have to do with anything?  Doing these things never hurt.  I don't think it sounds like you should even be singling them out.

A lot of my focus

and sentiment goes towards those people or did.

I know what it is!

People spot pure jealousy..

It sounds like they're up to no good.

Nothing seems to really be important.

What did I ever do..

..to deserve to be told I am bad to some adults?

Problems?

Maybe, it doesn't matter so much who your parents are?

Don't you hate it when

adults become total babies?

Like, we have to suffer for their existence, they say basically?

Someone is really freaking me out.

This is boring and annoying, bothering me for no reason, trapping me here.

Am I unhealthy?

I guess being in The Phantom of the Opera is not a waste.  It's an accomplishment.  They tour like 2 weeks 6 days a week with matinees on weekends per place.  The tour seems to be 1 year.  They do not really visit each area.  They camp out in 1 location where people have to even fly to see.  I assume they drive a day.  Maybe, people here come with Disney.  They really covered Florida this time, anyway.  After Chris Mann plays the Phantom, I don't feel a strong desire to be in it myself.  To go further, I mean it wouldn't be the same after his act.

"The Test"

I can see some people who think they know me personally have problems with me meeting "attractive" or "emotional" people and deny me my right to my choice of personality.  Nothing happened outside of this.

I go

for what's attractive and I go for different types.

I'm not saying I'm older

and have worse parental figures than some younger bitch!