Saturday, November 22, 2014
I'm sorry but
the truth just rolls when nothing else can really come to mind. Everyone is different. That holds true for a lotta things. Talk about things on your own rather than waiting.
cont.
who needs to feel better than they do already. It's always about the white people, who are taken care of. Mixed people have genes from different races. They could look white if they were allowed.
Why did you just pop up again and act like you have dominion over me? Anyway..
You all can't do this to me. You are just nasty. You're telling me I'm shit! Why? I just said it. Stop acting like I am bad and talking back to me.
I'm sorry if anyone was offended, but I also got attacked. They are also playing around acting like different people. It doesn't matter, but it was a mean message. I guess the message matters.
Are you trying to jeopardize things for me? Why get in my life like that, like I can't take care of myself? My therapist brought it out in me. I can. Are you acting differently trying to help someone? I said you all should look after yourselves. Why defend each other from me? You all attacked me. I am just talking about it on my blog. You sure don't know much about what goes on in blogging.
Why did you just pop up again and act like you have dominion over me? Anyway..
You all can't do this to me. You are just nasty. You're telling me I'm shit! Why? I just said it. Stop acting like I am bad and talking back to me.
I'm sorry if anyone was offended, but I also got attacked. They are also playing around acting like different people. It doesn't matter, but it was a mean message. I guess the message matters.
Are you trying to jeopardize things for me? Why get in my life like that, like I can't take care of myself? My therapist brought it out in me. I can. Are you acting differently trying to help someone? I said you all should look after yourselves. Why defend each other from me? You all attacked me. I am just talking about it on my blog. You sure don't know much about what goes on in blogging.
More
They are wasting my life with negativity over me. How does anyone accept this blaming you? You can't negate something like what I just said. This never happened before. I don't see it happening to anyone else. It's like I was downgraded after a year in college. I don't want to become a dummy listening to this. They are acting like I did all this stuff I didn't. You know your place.
I hope this message does not reach the wrong person. Sorry if anyone innocent is offended or whatever.
Why should I say what they said? They'll just say more. xp This is like being held hostage/captive.
What if I meant what I said but in a different way than you think?
So there, I say sorry and this is the best I can do to talk about this. It seems like it's become a random pop in my life, like it's okay for them to be mean and I have to be extra introverted about it.
Why do you think I care? Do you want me to talk about it? I don't think you even care about what you just said. You all just have to bother me periodically. I'd rather be occupied or resting. I can't seem to relax.
You think I start the hate, I just wanna get on with my life. People always said I was the opposite of how you treat me. You all are cruel racially as far as
:(
I hope this message does not reach the wrong person. Sorry if anyone innocent is offended or whatever.
Why should I say what they said? They'll just say more. xp This is like being held hostage/captive.
What if I meant what I said but in a different way than you think?
So there, I say sorry and this is the best I can do to talk about this. It seems like it's become a random pop in my life, like it's okay for them to be mean and I have to be extra introverted about it.
Why do you think I care? Do you want me to talk about it? I don't think you even care about what you just said. You all just have to bother me periodically. I'd rather be occupied or resting. I can't seem to relax.
You think I start the hate, I just wanna get on with my life. People always said I was the opposite of how you treat me. You all are cruel racially as far as
:(
So More..
I guess I'll try to nap, again. What do you think of my dad wanting to stimulate me after all these years? It's like a *** session, tho. People usually kill people they r***. I don't mean to suggest bad things about him, tho. I just mean I didn't really like how it felt to a large degree, like my mom barging in my room. Actually, it's stopped me up from feeling certain ways. It just seemed so cruel.
My Lesson
I don't do bad things often. I think people just want to hurt me for it, not totally bad.. I should forget about it and see whatever others break out and do. That's actually a problem I need to talk about so nothing bad pops up.
There are people out there who like me and think I am nice. Why punish me so much with so much joy for one little thing? You can't get mad at a person like that like that!
There are people out there who like me and think I am nice. Why punish me so much with so much joy for one little thing? You can't get mad at a person like that like that!
A A A A A A men A A A A men
Aa Men
The church was so lovely, felt like a place I grew up in. I would look at the pictures across from the choir loft. There was a balcony and a cool organ on the alter.
It had a certain smell. It was very nice. I loved being in like an important choir. The one thing the adult choir loves is the kids's choir.
The church was so lovely, felt like a place I grew up in. I would look at the pictures across from the choir loft. There was a balcony and a cool organ on the alter.
It had a certain smell. It was very nice. I loved being in like an important choir. The one thing the adult choir loves is the kids's choir.
Ah, my love!
Saint Augustine! Have you been there? No? Well, then, let's go....
It probably brings dreamy memories to the attentive eye. People tell me no on race like they sacrificed something to be as crappy as they are, aha ha ha! I mean they don't accept I am special from there. I don't get into reenactments, give up ballet..
The bay was beautiful, nice and cozy, yet a part of the beach. There are lovely roads in there. There are nice ways. I know it like inside and out if I am there, the feel.
It probably brings dreamy memories to the attentive eye. People tell me no on race like they sacrificed something to be as crappy as they are, aha ha ha! I mean they don't accept I am special from there. I don't get into reenactments, give up ballet..
The bay was beautiful, nice and cozy, yet a part of the beach. There are lovely roads in there. There are nice ways. I know it like inside and out if I am there, the feel.
Sorry
if I was offensive. I'm thinking of something small I let out.
Also, I just was like ripping thru in anger about people revenging me.
The thing about my dad made me writhe in wonder about what was going on.
So sorry, but I had to send out a signal, keep a record, tho not as good as it could be. :(
Also, I just was like ripping thru in anger about people revenging me.
The thing about my dad made me writhe in wonder about what was going on.
So sorry, but I had to send out a signal, keep a record, tho not as good as it could be. :(
What is the problem?
What is it about my dad?
And what's with the black stripe I saw on my computer?
I think that this is foolish and unforgivable. I saw the people at my college just lose it and kick me out of classes where I did nothing to break the rules. It's been 10 years. I didn't do anything to be punished. People just come on to me all the time, and I am gonna figure out how to get back at the unforgivable.
I am not gonna read into constant messages that start out as an insult in an unfavorable contained environment. I'm not staying on the ship.
Is this the best you can do? Trap me in a cheap living area with whom I'm with?? Getting mad at the slightest thing when I've done too much already? There are other things to do than to lie about and pick on me.
I think I'm not talking to nor about anyone. I guess it started with my dad. He tried to stimulate me, and I'm writhing on my sofa. You know it's illegal?
My point is 2 things. Why is my dad being brought into my life all annoying and dysfunctional, and what is the plan to get revenge on me.. no civilized talking to me, just trying to stay "in" and popular and getting at me for what I write on my blog.
My dad I think goes about his work, but then when he sees me it's like he won't acknowledge me like a person. There's constant battles at me for simply what I turn around in my head.
Have I said anything I oughtn't? What's really hanging over me? I plan to take dance at college in the summer and on until I finish if I feel up to it. I wanted to work in a coffee shop. I caught wind you need to be in field, like I wanna do dancing and singing, but like the dancing requires more training with me now if I wanna get in musical theater ever. I'm 28, seems like a good thing to chase. I sing, too, on my own, and possibly one day again private lessons. The dance degree I'd finish by the end of next summer.
I'm so sorry for what I've said or done. Please forgive me. It's not totally rash, so I left it up and maybe it will touch someone out there and I will get help. I'd prefer not to have to post these things. I just wanted to know why people keep shoving my dad too close to me and ruining it. Also, I felt hatred I guess and people wanting me to be revenged on. I'm truly worried about it. It seems silly. I am a nice person. So what if I mess up? I probably didn't mean it, or something. Maybe, I wanted to look cute. I didn't know it was that bad. I look out for myself, too, including my dwindling health everyone is so keen on with me getting out of sync so.
So, I'm sorry this is not okay, but I tried to be nice. A bad word came to mind. The fact anyone wants revenge on me made me very mad. All these things people see me for and don't see me for, it shouldn't be an issue now. I said sorry. People actually do things to me but things that others do, too.
I hope this does not jeopardize my sensitive situation. :( You should really look out for yourself, you all.
OK, so sorry. I don't know what to do about what I wrote. I tried to be nice about it. Do I accept it? I see there are reasons, so I guess it's weird. About the revenge.. I mean it's not a joke? I feel I am a joke. O well. My room isn't clean. I saw a dog I wanted today. I need another shelf to clean. I'm worried about things and people. What did I do wrong technically? I know you like to calculate to a clean finish. What is the revenge? I am wondering and shudder to think of how this came up. Why isn't sorry enough? Are a lot of events planned? I think some people are lying about me and threatening me, too, tho. Like, they say I'm all these bad things, and I have no reassurance from anyone, who believe me to be shit naturally.
Did I waste time posting? I should at least say what is the problem about my dad and why do I sense revenge at me when people all say they'd like never get mad at me? or have at least at a time it felt. I don't hold a record of crime. People are criminal to my sense of stability and ability to focus. I grew up in a quiet home, at 1st. So what about 1 thing? You think everyone who is good who messes up should be locked up? I will not take these arguments anymore. I can't get them to stop, tho! I said what I said, make a match. Not just the same thing I negated. Getting mad about something from 15-20 years ago???? What about my wasted years? What can I do? I shouldn't be poked at like this for the sake of other people. It's like other people want me to look bad so they look good and say when they are bad never matters. It doesn't matter who they are.
I don't mean to be mean. I came here to ask that question and up comes the other issue.
So, sorry, tried to explain myself. If something is wrong, why can't I fix it? I can take back what I did I cannot be suddenly "grounded for life." I think what you all do is a pity. You all don't realize I already feel this way and keep coming back for more. Some people think they can treat me like a slave. No, I do not believe the bad parts about being Chinese are good. I should not be treated as such. No one does that! This is just another waste of time, 1 more reason I don't feel like watching Ellen, just feel bothered. She puts the Chinese in place but is scared of blacks, I feel/think. I like her and her show, I don't know why I haven't watched this week.
I'm just really sorry I am so stupid but must post my feelings and problems. I want help, and it might relay to people in the world and spread in micro-molecules. So sorry, ya'll. I mean no harm! :(
The point was what is wrong? Sorry it is not so presentable. Most people don't have a problem with me like this, I know, too, so that's interesting.
:(
And what's with the black stripe I saw on my computer?
I think that this is foolish and unforgivable. I saw the people at my college just lose it and kick me out of classes where I did nothing to break the rules. It's been 10 years. I didn't do anything to be punished. People just come on to me all the time, and I am gonna figure out how to get back at the unforgivable.
I am not gonna read into constant messages that start out as an insult in an unfavorable contained environment. I'm not staying on the ship.
Is this the best you can do? Trap me in a cheap living area with whom I'm with?? Getting mad at the slightest thing when I've done too much already? There are other things to do than to lie about and pick on me.
I think I'm not talking to nor about anyone. I guess it started with my dad. He tried to stimulate me, and I'm writhing on my sofa. You know it's illegal?
My point is 2 things. Why is my dad being brought into my life all annoying and dysfunctional, and what is the plan to get revenge on me.. no civilized talking to me, just trying to stay "in" and popular and getting at me for what I write on my blog.
My dad I think goes about his work, but then when he sees me it's like he won't acknowledge me like a person. There's constant battles at me for simply what I turn around in my head.
Have I said anything I oughtn't? What's really hanging over me? I plan to take dance at college in the summer and on until I finish if I feel up to it. I wanted to work in a coffee shop. I caught wind you need to be in field, like I wanna do dancing and singing, but like the dancing requires more training with me now if I wanna get in musical theater ever. I'm 28, seems like a good thing to chase. I sing, too, on my own, and possibly one day again private lessons. The dance degree I'd finish by the end of next summer.
I'm so sorry for what I've said or done. Please forgive me. It's not totally rash, so I left it up and maybe it will touch someone out there and I will get help. I'd prefer not to have to post these things. I just wanted to know why people keep shoving my dad too close to me and ruining it. Also, I felt hatred I guess and people wanting me to be revenged on. I'm truly worried about it. It seems silly. I am a nice person. So what if I mess up? I probably didn't mean it, or something. Maybe, I wanted to look cute. I didn't know it was that bad. I look out for myself, too, including my dwindling health everyone is so keen on with me getting out of sync so.
So, I'm sorry this is not okay, but I tried to be nice. A bad word came to mind. The fact anyone wants revenge on me made me very mad. All these things people see me for and don't see me for, it shouldn't be an issue now. I said sorry. People actually do things to me but things that others do, too.
I hope this does not jeopardize my sensitive situation. :( You should really look out for yourself, you all.
OK, so sorry. I don't know what to do about what I wrote. I tried to be nice about it. Do I accept it? I see there are reasons, so I guess it's weird. About the revenge.. I mean it's not a joke? I feel I am a joke. O well. My room isn't clean. I saw a dog I wanted today. I need another shelf to clean. I'm worried about things and people. What did I do wrong technically? I know you like to calculate to a clean finish. What is the revenge? I am wondering and shudder to think of how this came up. Why isn't sorry enough? Are a lot of events planned? I think some people are lying about me and threatening me, too, tho. Like, they say I'm all these bad things, and I have no reassurance from anyone, who believe me to be shit naturally.
Did I waste time posting? I should at least say what is the problem about my dad and why do I sense revenge at me when people all say they'd like never get mad at me? or have at least at a time it felt. I don't hold a record of crime. People are criminal to my sense of stability and ability to focus. I grew up in a quiet home, at 1st. So what about 1 thing? You think everyone who is good who messes up should be locked up? I will not take these arguments anymore. I can't get them to stop, tho! I said what I said, make a match. Not just the same thing I negated. Getting mad about something from 15-20 years ago???? What about my wasted years? What can I do? I shouldn't be poked at like this for the sake of other people. It's like other people want me to look bad so they look good and say when they are bad never matters. It doesn't matter who they are.
I don't mean to be mean. I came here to ask that question and up comes the other issue.
So, sorry, tried to explain myself. If something is wrong, why can't I fix it? I can take back what I did I cannot be suddenly "grounded for life." I think what you all do is a pity. You all don't realize I already feel this way and keep coming back for more. Some people think they can treat me like a slave. No, I do not believe the bad parts about being Chinese are good. I should not be treated as such. No one does that! This is just another waste of time, 1 more reason I don't feel like watching Ellen, just feel bothered. She puts the Chinese in place but is scared of blacks, I feel/think. I like her and her show, I don't know why I haven't watched this week.
I'm just really sorry I am so stupid but must post my feelings and problems. I want help, and it might relay to people in the world and spread in micro-molecules. So sorry, ya'll. I mean no harm! :(
The point was what is wrong? Sorry it is not so presentable. Most people don't have a problem with me like this, I know, too, so that's interesting.
:(
I think I'm losing it.
I'll just be on my way and whatever comes comes. It's so hard to get these things outta my mind at the time.
Quit
bringing up problems of the past. You could make me mad more and more easily.
There was a joke that my eyes were blue as a baby. I don't find it cool on me, neither.. I imagined my dad's blue eyes with someone else's. Not great. So, don't push me around and keep poking me down the hole. Why would I be told to be like my dad in ways I don't want? I am a good person, already. I am not my family. And I am 28 and vulnerable.
What I imagined was twisted. It came to me, I didn't come to it.
Problem
What are these constant problems I am facing?
Ever since this one week I screamed and hit my sofa every day, M-F, my dad has voluntarily tried to stimulate me with positioning his arm/s a certain way. That should not even be that kind of possibility in Hell. I am not bedazzzled. He just has too many problems and won't quit ruining what I'd have in life! If you back away at the shallow end, you will never surf the waves.
Ever since this one week I screamed and hit my sofa every day, M-F, my dad has voluntarily tried to stimulate me with positioning his arm/s a certain way. That should not even be that kind of possibility in Hell. I am not bedazzzled. He just has too many problems and won't quit ruining what I'd have in life! If you back away at the shallow end, you will never surf the waves.
Supportive of Others
I am supportive of other fans of people I follow. I just know people are literally ransacking me about its glory. I'm just saying. I feel I was just glared at and frowned at and I'm just sitting at my computer. This is not for everyone, but some people might be interested, a lotta people I think it seems for some reason. I wonder how they stay happy if they are in more menial positions. I feel I should be there but am not well to do it and not encouraged to, therein.
Was Looking Over
I am asked to leave people alone, but people won't leave me alone. Instead, they are mean to me. I know. I know this stuff I see in public is a play on me. It happens all the time. I don't mean to say anyone should feel this.
My Singing
It sounds better here than on my cell. I think the medicine makes me lethargic. My mom said I can get off it if I move out. My psychiatrist said I could ask another psychiatrist to help me off the meds.
What is it..
..that being mean to me is the desirable word in? You can't live in fear. You can live without me, tho. You already kinda have.
It's not like I don't know
Little things are being done to hurt me and I have no peace of mind. I get bombarded with secret insults from annoying people.
Imagine some young lady getting all pissed and cursing about others as she goes about her day.
Imagine some young lady getting all pissed and cursing about others as she goes about her day.
I wonder who else
looks up Sarah Brightman concerts, like the tours that don't get sold on tape. Who knows! There are more views this year now she's in Europe. That can only mean a good thing.
Happy but Hurt
I want other people to experience the relationships I've had in the limelight, so-to-speak.
Talking.. Where It Went Wrong
Well, for Bella, I feel as though she wanted to get me in trouble and treat me that way like my dad.
Something Else That Is Unforgiveabe
I'm not going thru a ritual of punishment. I didn't do anything. What you think I did doesn't even deserve that. I could tell the police. Too bad I have a history of mental illness and hospitalization, lies.
My Life
My dad has always seemed suggestive to me racially and now lives in the style that I am definitely in trouble when I didn't do anything worth that. A car wooshed by sounding like my being nice to Bella Thorne was worthless because it was an overstatement, tho I feel pushed to give her undivided attention.
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