Hey, guys.

Sorry I have not been on IMDb.  My old computer is breaking,  I'm on a tablet.

You know when you go for some thing

or sorta bet on it and nothing good comes of it a long time, your resource are drained?  You don't really feel as alive as you can be.

Just showered.

Bed soon.

I will not take this.

The messages are stimulating me I find when I'm like about to get up.  I didn't do anything wrong.  You all need to stop.  All these people about.  Also, why is my dad invading me it seems, like he's hanging over me?  He's perpetuating this.  He was perturbed out.

Well!

Apology and My Congratulations

to you Bella

I didn't want to linger on anything, but my dad seemed to bring it up in secret message.

I guess you can see for real 1 fact that there are more than 1 person in your life and you shouldn't keep taking shots at things being an unreality.

Stress

It must be stressful to know that the person you don't want is the one who has time to check up on you online.  It's better for that person to be occupied.

cont.

So sorry about my seeming illiteracy.

Sorry if I have been rude.

I will add I am joyous over what people are telling me is happening to that wonderful girl who probably needs to stay away from me cuz she must judge me if she ever reads my Tweets.  I am a normal person, but being 1/2 Chinese people back off and play with me in the limelight.

cont.

It's like it's an icebreaker topic for us all.

I am happy for what they have proven.  I just don't want to be the one who gets it the best.  I want a lot of people.

cont.

So, how do you tell everyone they are the only one?

Things

So, I am dying my hair Dark Ash Brown.  Darkest Brown looks black against my pale, white face.

Can anyone explain to me how to tell one person they don't matter and bother them about one person wanting someone all to themselves, like Pink an her racecar husband, hardly the same, and their child Willow.

Website

Website

Don't be offended, I just kept it short.  It's what happens to me and no one else.

Also, more than one person does it.  Many people do.  Some people open the kit and start on their own.

What a crazy few days.

Why would I over and over prostrate myself vying over someone else for the same thing over me?  Am I okay with what someone else does that pertains to themselves?!..  That's not to ask then and proves in general things like that that they are done to waste time and not go forward nor leave a spot, which is also up to you and means more than one thing at one time.

I'm so sorry it's been so hectic.

I am not taking any future punishment for something innocent from the past.  These criminal people are so fascinated by that, too.

2 New Videos of Me

link

If this were a crime

it would be an accident without being on alcohol.

With the word..

..I just told myself why it must have come up.  I don't use that word on purpose like others did when I was growing up, their parents I heard.  I didn't really think it purposely.  That happens.  It needs to stop.  I used to think other curse words cuz I was surrounded by it at school a lot.  :(

I'm so sorry.. I hope my day goes well now.

My Kind

agrees.  I don't give a snoot about your failed lives as far as you being jealous and mean of others who have it hard themselves.  Tell about it on the internet rather than holding back or fix it you idle people!  I cared and care very much about people like this but I also believe in people who do the right thing.  You have no right..  People like me, which are not all successful at life, agree you can't just say you can hurt me all the time cuz you're jealous of my heritage and wanna say I don't deserve it for my race.

They are bothering me.  Fact.  Period.  What a waste of my life!

I mean..

..why would you do that?  I wasn't mad in particular, but I mean it was rubbing in something.  What am I supposed to do, pay?

Forgiveness

You may not forgive me, but I feel much better now but vulnerable to stimulation.

Hm..  Well, other people are mean all the time for fun.  That's very bad.  I don't know why that word was in my mind.  I don't know, I was just really hurt when they did that.  It hurt my feelings, and they used someone and something special to punish me, leaving them vulnerable in the end, "like it or not."

Weird.

I don't even get why I would do that.  Now that I think of it..

Control

I thought of what does this say, and it said something bad.  Then, they rubbed in I was not someone's daughter for some reason and then then that someone else was.  I know they are doing it to punish me.  I will not relay to this treatment.  I'm sorry I got upset, but it was the way they were bothering me.  No one does that to you.  I'll try to stay okay when I'm really mad, already.  So sorry.  I understand if I must be suspended from something.

I think it's too light of a color to try to get.  I may dye it dark tonight.  20 minutes left.

Yes

I'm dying my hair right now.  I wanted to look like my generation.  We'll see what happens.  If I get famous, I think I may dye it dark brown (like black.)  I might do that soon.

Well..

I guess just I'll keep on.  If my parents are upset, so be it.  I can try to ignore it, can't I?

Upset

Why does my mom think all of a sudden she is more European than me?

I tried to ignore the signs, but it sunk in.  I see it forms a sentence.  Not that she's more European, just what the message was.

I was pretty good.  Something made her upset.

Sorry

I was joking around about who Sarah Brightman was better at singing than.  It was a joke to my counselor.  I asked who she thought sang better.  She didn't have an answer.

She had told me that he was a greater singer than me.

My theater and speeking theater taught me singing one summer and asked if I liked Jackie Evancho, all of us having Pennsylvanian heritage.  Well, I think she sings very seriously.  As for if I met Sarah Brightman, I had thought I couldn't really see myself confronting her because she is legend and how and how much.

Hair

So, I think I am going to dye it to look like a teenager.  Then, I will add watching Ellen to my list again.  I hope it dyes over..

More Mum

I guess I should be more mum about experiences in life that are not meant for situations like this.

So

I'm sorry, I take it back.

Wale! (Well!)

I guess I should learn to accept my dad, too.  We'll see how this walk goes.  :)

Me Playing Organ/Keyboard and Singing

Whew!  2!  x0




And now it's time for a walk outside....

Very Hard

For me to just get mad and not feel viscous.  It was wrong, but I'm always much worse.  I am definitely close to better on this personal journey of mine.

Scheule

Don't count on my watching Ellen.  I will tell you when.  I don't know if I'll just pop in or if I'll tell 1st, in addition.  Hope that does not matter.

So, you can tell me..

What should I do that I'm holding back against being told?  I bet my dad wants it as a test.

Do you think I am nasty?  This is very stressful.  I don't mind if someone naturally doesn't want anything to do with me, but I don't like people tricking me and making it hard and telling me what I really wanted to mean.

I'm very sorry this did not come off right.  I don't know what to do about it.  I mean, why are things getting worse for me.  I told my mom my dad is bossy.  He gets upset..but I guess in the end just wants to have made his splash each and every day for my mom and I.

cont.

He just keeps sending out nasty messages and smiling about it to fit in in Orlando.  He ruins my relationship with others by studying me since I was little, and I find him being mean sick.

Confrontation

I do not accept what my dad did.  He is a constant distraction and awful interpreter of meaning of when I get mad and rightly so as anyone.  I calm down in the end and get bothered more for no reason.

I'll only wait to see him again today..  :(  to see what mean things he has to think, mean, yes, that's a fact, not a insult.

He lives for cheating to get on the winning side and is to hold a reserve to me.  I found he was doing something to me people aren't supposed to do last night.  He sees me and bothers me.  How will I become a performing artist now?

Sorry

I wasn't the one who did anything unless you're interpreting last night, but I hope you'll accept my apology and go on with your own life.  I do like talking to some people, but I wonder if they are frustrated about me.

Was it wrong of me to get mad at all.  I felt that sparks or something were flying.  I really think if I wanna get mad about being called the n word no one bother me.  Wait, what?  Whatever.  I was stupid no to think there was a reason..

So what?  You all are to picky if you notice I got mad about me being called something bad.  I am hearing things that are hurting me.  Did you hear what I just said?  I was just dealing with my feelings again, and people come along and hurt me more for it.  You were to not be mad about last night.  I did not mean anything bad.  It just came out that way with my parents glaring in my presence.  :(  I am not being sarcastic! for an effect, like everyone else does and ruins the American language!  The "!" is not being sarcastic, neither!  It fits.

I notice

I'm being tested.  When someone is mean to me, they "check" to see if I get upset back.  I see people on the streets with this attitude to me all too much.  What can I make of it.  I hate it.  What of people I know doing it, I figured they were copying, yet I cannot even get upset of being like humiliated.  What if people just keep going?  I see they do that.  Just have to accept it yet ignore it and it should go away.

Upset

I'll try not to get mad like that, but it's not like other people get called the n word like that.  I don't want to feel bad all day about it.  There's nothing wrong with saying so.  Why call me the n word?  I have to accept that?  Why are they harassing me about everything?  I said I'll go along, but I can't really support it other than that it may be a buffer and not really matter in and of itself..  :(  Is this some sort of joke?  If you don't like me, you don't have to concern yourself about me.  Lotta people seem to like me..which is good..  The thing is I didn't really hurt anyone nor think of it.  I was just trying to deal with it.  :(  I guess I will try to ignore it.  Sometimes, it seems it has suspicious motives.  In the end, there must be a reason, but why can't I seem to forget about it?

I figured

It was just being scared of being threatened by my dad.  So, I accepted it in the end for what is was but you know something like that?  It was a bit weird.  I guess it might be a sign of safety.  I feel as though someone could be laughing at me for things like this.  I don't know what to make of it, but I do not go along myself.  I am sorry I was so mad, but it was clean.  I didn't think of hurting anyone, I think.  Don't you think it's wrong to call someone that?  I guess it was an ice breaker.

Good Morning

So, I woke up to being called something by little noises in my house supposedly/pretending from someone, for thinking I'd be unbothered if  my dad got sick like my mom with cancer, which led me to believe I should move.

So, they called me the n word.