Monday, September 26, 2016
Seeing Into It
It seems when you see like a person from Europe that when people are on the job it's really about race and not much is happening.
Sorting Sheep
People used to say that people who are more rash and naughty were the ones who were careless letting their skin tan and would probably rather be where it's hot all the time. (Say, has anyone seen a tanning bed, of late?) I don't mean anything racistly. The funny thing is I keep feeling beat for my interest in things like Germany for music. (Music is important!) Also conducive to a fairer look, people eye me suspiciously when they see my application of sunblock, every 2 hours. Remember the sendoff song about always remembering to wear sunblock, too?
..Hm. Are Asians sometimes considered not people, no exceptions for anyone? I know I feel pressure that I could look worse than other people. Sometimes, because of that kind of pressure, my good looks drop a notch. I recently found that Asians know white people "have it all." They just happen to look how they look and it might be a dying culture among some of the riff raff, however meaning hinting at something like the French Revolution. I found people in general, at least here in Central Florida moreso, if they are impressed by you they just want to take that aspect of you somehow and not let you have it, being mean to the people who seem racially impure.
I wonder why my being good a lot is thrown out the window, whereas others who are all Caucasian move up and up without question.
Something else funny in the weather. It seems like there is less to enjoy and too much stress. You can't get better and better and be happy physically. There is always a bitter element. I mean about things like if your job is performing music. It seems more stressful where I'm at. I can't just enjoy even that. It was my college major, my sole field of study with extra courses in it, for 1 year. When other people mess up their life, people say their sin is their punishment, but it's not. When I do something that is none of their business by some point, my life is turned around.
It's funny when you see someone from Europe get jealous of an American feeling pleasure. They think if Americans feel it they are spoiled. They also end up siding with the bad ones. They recognized them as interesting and like a band of pirates.
Why do I see people smile at me after I deny their belief I am shit? They don't know what they're thinking and don't wanna tell you and think only others than myself can get away with throwing me out. I don't care how old they are because I know people younger than my parental generation think they can be unauthentic and overly stark in dealing with me.
People think I am out of place, but I fight for what's right. I know media is all plagued by people visiting California. They think it doesn't count and doesn't matter. So many people in Florida are crazy, too. They don't all look so happy.
Would you say that even if I did something out of place, it shouldn't mean I am bad, whereas other people are up to something? They have been up to something since like 1998. I guess the Baby Boom and slightly older generation can't keep them under control. These younger people are bitter to their parental generation.
You know what else I decided? Maybe, it would be mean even to get a sperm donor to have a kid because it would make people uncomfortable. I am not networking enough with other Eurasians/Mixed Asians cuz I don't know how. EurasianNation.proboards.com is so slow now and not may people. I feel I am lacking socially. Race is my main concern. Stormfront is so strict, seemingly. It's a white supremacist board. It's okay, but it's mostly bringing up topics just to have something to talk about. They don't like talking about other races so we can all be at peace and live the life we want.
It's hard to believe people resent my existence. That's not okay because taking your life is not right. I actually would have a hard time enlisting in the military, and I would be paid a lot. I think people think my parents are innately cool but racially dislike us or me. I do have a younger brother. I feel my parents didn't give us a fair chance. He's thin with straight hair, and I'm buff with course hair. I look more like my dad than anything. He's just his own person.
I wonder why some white people think they can make up things about me and think I have to listen to what they say all of a sudden. Ha! Some of ya'll gettin' a little old there?
You know, I think other people find Asians interesting, interesting to watch and preserve, and to say WHOOPS to Eurasians as they cut them off. "It's a small world, after all."
..Hm. Are Asians sometimes considered not people, no exceptions for anyone? I know I feel pressure that I could look worse than other people. Sometimes, because of that kind of pressure, my good looks drop a notch. I recently found that Asians know white people "have it all." They just happen to look how they look and it might be a dying culture among some of the riff raff, however meaning hinting at something like the French Revolution. I found people in general, at least here in Central Florida moreso, if they are impressed by you they just want to take that aspect of you somehow and not let you have it, being mean to the people who seem racially impure.
I wonder why my being good a lot is thrown out the window, whereas others who are all Caucasian move up and up without question.
Something else funny in the weather. It seems like there is less to enjoy and too much stress. You can't get better and better and be happy physically. There is always a bitter element. I mean about things like if your job is performing music. It seems more stressful where I'm at. I can't just enjoy even that. It was my college major, my sole field of study with extra courses in it, for 1 year. When other people mess up their life, people say their sin is their punishment, but it's not. When I do something that is none of their business by some point, my life is turned around.
It's funny when you see someone from Europe get jealous of an American feeling pleasure. They think if Americans feel it they are spoiled. They also end up siding with the bad ones. They recognized them as interesting and like a band of pirates.
Why do I see people smile at me after I deny their belief I am shit? They don't know what they're thinking and don't wanna tell you and think only others than myself can get away with throwing me out. I don't care how old they are because I know people younger than my parental generation think they can be unauthentic and overly stark in dealing with me.
People think I am out of place, but I fight for what's right. I know media is all plagued by people visiting California. They think it doesn't count and doesn't matter. So many people in Florida are crazy, too. They don't all look so happy.
Would you say that even if I did something out of place, it shouldn't mean I am bad, whereas other people are up to something? They have been up to something since like 1998. I guess the Baby Boom and slightly older generation can't keep them under control. These younger people are bitter to their parental generation.
You know what else I decided? Maybe, it would be mean even to get a sperm donor to have a kid because it would make people uncomfortable. I am not networking enough with other Eurasians/Mixed Asians cuz I don't know how. EurasianNation.proboards.com is so slow now and not may people. I feel I am lacking socially. Race is my main concern. Stormfront is so strict, seemingly. It's a white supremacist board. It's okay, but it's mostly bringing up topics just to have something to talk about. They don't like talking about other races so we can all be at peace and live the life we want.
It's hard to believe people resent my existence. That's not okay because taking your life is not right. I actually would have a hard time enlisting in the military, and I would be paid a lot. I think people think my parents are innately cool but racially dislike us or me. I do have a younger brother. I feel my parents didn't give us a fair chance. He's thin with straight hair, and I'm buff with course hair. I look more like my dad than anything. He's just his own person.
I wonder why some white people think they can make up things about me and think I have to listen to what they say all of a sudden. Ha! Some of ya'll gettin' a little old there?
You know, I think other people find Asians interesting, interesting to watch and preserve, and to say WHOOPS to Eurasians as they cut them off. "It's a small world, after all."
People, After All
Even though I am 1/2 Asian (12% real/Chinese,) I feel I have traits that are much more comfortable and appealing than many people who are all Caucasian. I would rather be me than them. I'm not as interested in some of what they think they have to offer. I'm just like that. I'm not racist. I'm just another White person. I share similarities with other White people, too, which I like to connect with. I don't necessarily want to connect with mistakes of people I'm related to, as well. I just hope for the best for everyone. I share the same interests as minority ethnicities, as well, but I don't "lose it."
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