Sunday, September 20, 2015
Emmys
I hope they had a good time..
I noticed some good things.
Maybe, people want to see more and more, like some big things are about to happen.
A Change of Heart
I don't know if I should sing with people younger than me starting out in college. Maybe, I should stick to my own, private goal of working in Hollywood. I wonder if those dreams will ever grow old and I'll have some problems.
I don't like my singing voice. I am too old. I was gonna sing Matchmaker on America's Got Talent. Maybe, I should do stand up. I can't do it yet but will try.. or maybe not. Too old for America's Got Talent? I also want to see someone who's about 34 in concert. He's a singer. He's the guy playing the Phantom on tour, but the Christine seems older than me.
I feel a little bad about America's Got Talent. I was gonna try out. I wanna focus on my goals. I have a Disney pass that expires in early December. I guess I got some time to straighten up.
I think I am too old to model, too, and also I feel a little short at 5'2"+ - 5'3"+. Maybe, I will try to get an agent when I get some more pictures?? I'm going for acting and giving up on music. I might still want to sing for my voice. I dunno, but acting seems like the way to go.
I guess singing wouldn't help me in Hollywood like before into things as good as acting.. Not sure if I will change my mind.
I don't like my singing voice. I am too old. I was gonna sing Matchmaker on America's Got Talent. Maybe, I should do stand up. I can't do it yet but will try.. or maybe not. Too old for America's Got Talent? I also want to see someone who's about 34 in concert. He's a singer. He's the guy playing the Phantom on tour, but the Christine seems older than me.
I feel a little bad about America's Got Talent. I was gonna try out. I wanna focus on my goals. I have a Disney pass that expires in early December. I guess I got some time to straighten up.
I think I am too old to model, too, and also I feel a little short at 5'2"+ - 5'3"+. Maybe, I will try to get an agent when I get some more pictures?? I'm going for acting and giving up on music. I might still want to sing for my voice. I dunno, but acting seems like the way to go.
I guess singing wouldn't help me in Hollywood like before into things as good as acting.. Not sure if I will change my mind.
Problem
So, now I don't matter cuz my dad has a wife who is not technically all white?
You just hope flashing by that you're white means you beat up my family? Aha ha ha ha ha ha!
You think my race is so ironic cuz my family and I lived life thinking others's issues mattered so much and we tried so hard to be good??
You just hope flashing by that you're white means you beat up my family? Aha ha ha ha ha ha!
You think my race is so ironic cuz my family and I lived life thinking others's issues mattered so much and we tried so hard to be good??
I don't accept this treatment.
You can't downgrade me from the past to what's apparently present. People "just want to get it out." You're setting a bad example, and you're gonna have to deal with it.
I never meant anything bad to anyone innocent, like, you know I don't go out and start a fight. See, now, I'm in trouble for the way we all seem to change together.
Do you do this? When I think of Ellen DeGeneres, everyone gets all defensive for both her ..and probably themselves..
Come on. People are secretly mean to me. I don't do that to anyone.
If I feel upset a little inside, people notice and are mean. Really. How silly. They shove themselves at me, too, like I didn't or wouldn't like nor bow down to them enough, tough luck people!
Sometimes, I have acted roughly but not meanly.
I have said things by accident I hope I can leave behind, but apparently it's a favorite blaming tool.. sad. I don't tell people to their face mean things. It's on my blog or the IMDb message boards, mostly.. not much tho, not too many of those repeated mistakes.. I thought we were "supposed to let it out" etc. I guess not!! How utterly confusing. Why wasn't I warned? I am just around constant meanness!! I just like used the word "m********ing" but not in the attack way. I realize it seems inappropriate. It was on a message board. I've seen inappropriate things go by unchecked. It was just how I was feeling, but after I found it was bad like that I haven't done that. I was stuck cursing about the noises in my room and was upset at who might have promoted it. I guess the worst was I used my dad to curse at rather than someone else? Or when I did use curse words with someone else? I dunno, maybe I was just half asleep. I don't think I'm a bad person. I wanted to be acceptable in the world. I don't think it's my mom's fault.
Well, too bad, too sad.
I never meant anything bad to anyone innocent, like, you know I don't go out and start a fight. See, now, I'm in trouble for the way we all seem to change together.
Do you do this? When I think of Ellen DeGeneres, everyone gets all defensive for both her ..and probably themselves..
Come on. People are secretly mean to me. I don't do that to anyone.
If I feel upset a little inside, people notice and are mean. Really. How silly. They shove themselves at me, too, like I didn't or wouldn't like nor bow down to them enough, tough luck people!
Sometimes, I have acted roughly but not meanly.
I have said things by accident I hope I can leave behind, but apparently it's a favorite blaming tool.. sad. I don't tell people to their face mean things. It's on my blog or the IMDb message boards, mostly.. not much tho, not too many of those repeated mistakes.. I thought we were "supposed to let it out" etc. I guess not!! How utterly confusing. Why wasn't I warned? I am just around constant meanness!! I just like used the word "m********ing" but not in the attack way. I realize it seems inappropriate. It was on a message board. I've seen inappropriate things go by unchecked. It was just how I was feeling, but after I found it was bad like that I haven't done that. I was stuck cursing about the noises in my room and was upset at who might have promoted it. I guess the worst was I used my dad to curse at rather than someone else? Or when I did use curse words with someone else? I dunno, maybe I was just half asleep. I don't think I'm a bad person. I wanted to be acceptable in the world. I don't think it's my mom's fault.
Well, too bad, too sad.
Wildflowers
Why did the fame of Johnny Depp and Tim Burton and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory bring out the worst in people? People who were wallflowers came out like a monster looking for attention. They all tried to say they were Johnny Depp when it was not their place. I found this out a day or so ago and find it sad.
How People Live
People lived with their eyes averted, smiling bemusedly.
They are just content they are not considered in trouble, really.
They are just content they are not considered in trouble, really.
It's almost time..
..to see what Ellen posts about the Emmys! What? Why do I feel like I'm wrong in saying anything like that?
Someone Said Something Smart Secretly
Modeling is so important it divides you from being just in the background to being a real celebrity. I had already thought that but didn't bother coming to the conclusion. Thanks! It's sliced bread!
Age of Dad
People shouldn't act like I have a problem cuz my dad is born in 1950 and not the late 1950s. All those issues should not be! I don't think I did anything to deserve to be s***.
In fact, people seem to have too many issues like their dad if he's younger cuz they think they're suddenly better than people in bad ways they are not.
I do notice that people with younger dads have less problems, but that's in a different way.
I do notice I'm always in trouble cuz I wanna be famous and am not. Like, I'm too old when I started to try, which I did major in performing and tried to work towards acting when kicked out.
So, I always feel in trouble with my dad cuz he's older and others no.
In fact, people seem to have too many issues like their dad if he's younger cuz they think they're suddenly better than people in bad ways they are not.
I do notice that people with younger dads have less problems, but that's in a different way.
I do notice I'm always in trouble cuz I wanna be famous and am not. Like, I'm too old when I started to try, which I did major in performing and tried to work towards acting when kicked out.
So, I always feel in trouble with my dad cuz he's older and others no.
*Sigh*
Every time Bella Thorne speaks, she seems so confident she's a good person.
~ ~ The End
Disclaimers:
Did you notice my problem was that I thought I was good, but people treat me like I'm bad cuz they know I wanna be famous but am not and in a way am not ready?? Constantly.
I think Bella Thorne is doing what Ellen DeGeneres does. She acts like she's sweet, but she's like a weasel.
I don't know if this is just to get back and act like they're in the act of punishing me. It seems even if you tried to be good around Ellen, you couldn't. I was mad about people all knowing about something and thinking I'm bad. Other than that, I wonder if I'd slide off the Ellen ship, not that I know of people who do.
You're probably interested in Bella acting like Ellen. It's hard to know what to say, yes because it'd come out as not as good as I'd want. I'm "seeing" images of Bella lifting her china and nodding a little quickly. People actually go to people like Ellen because she's older and people all want that cozy *** feeling..
So, my point I'm describing is that Bella, Chloe Grace Moretz, Lily Rose Sweet Melody Depp, I remember when I used to feel like I was a good person, at least, but not much else if even I can think that with others. Anyway, these other people are approved of cuz they're racially white. Also, their young age is used to defend them. They are born the most popular time, even if the point was to have Late Boom parents, if you're born then.. they're very cute and nice, I mean, tho.
~ ~ The End
Disclaimers:
Did you notice my problem was that I thought I was good, but people treat me like I'm bad cuz they know I wanna be famous but am not and in a way am not ready?? Constantly.
I think Bella Thorne is doing what Ellen DeGeneres does. She acts like she's sweet, but she's like a weasel.
I don't know if this is just to get back and act like they're in the act of punishing me. It seems even if you tried to be good around Ellen, you couldn't. I was mad about people all knowing about something and thinking I'm bad. Other than that, I wonder if I'd slide off the Ellen ship, not that I know of people who do.
You're probably interested in Bella acting like Ellen. It's hard to know what to say, yes because it'd come out as not as good as I'd want. I'm "seeing" images of Bella lifting her china and nodding a little quickly. People actually go to people like Ellen because she's older and people all want that cozy *** feeling..
So, my point I'm describing is that Bella, Chloe Grace Moretz, Lily Rose Sweet Melody Depp, I remember when I used to feel like I was a good person, at least, but not much else if even I can think that with others. Anyway, these other people are approved of cuz they're racially white. Also, their young age is used to defend them. They are born the most popular time, even if the point was to have Late Boom parents, if you're born then.. they're very cute and nice, I mean, tho.
Commercial
Take Me Fishing
Anyone remember that? They showed a kid of like each race. The girl was a little obese and blonde.
Anyone remember that? They showed a kid of like each race. The girl was a little obese and blonde.
"omg"
I just saw a commercial of a tablet saying, "Bigger is better." They took strawberries out of the screen for kids. It was sad.
Another Coincidence
Yesterday, I left war on TV, and I hoped my fortune cookie would be about the new TV and it had the words "love" and "war."
New TV!
19"! I used to have an old one.. This one is good. The only thing that upsets me is what if people are tiny on The Ellen DeGeneres Show.
It's not one of those glaringly stretched out ones that shows features of people that don't even exist.
It also looks more 3D than extremely 2D. I understand all those TVs that show the enlarged views of mountains and animals.
The funny thing is right now, there's a black frame around the picture.
I dunno, it looks good.
I kept asking my dad about it. He said we could return it, but I dunno.. The sad thing is someday I may want a bigger one. I actually had a hard time looking at the TVs. I just knew this one seemed genuine, like not just "big" and that's it.
I mean, I can see it, it's just not extremely big. I'm used to my old tablet and now Chromebook now, which are even smaller, tho you see it closer up.
I dunno, what I'm seeing now looks good, but I used to want a big one. I just feel my family is poor now and this sorta seemed appealing for some strange reason. I know we're always trying to save money, but that was irrelevant. It's just a nice size. I just wonder if, like, slightly larger would be befitting. It might make me mad.
It's not one of those glaringly stretched out ones that shows features of people that don't even exist.
It also looks more 3D than extremely 2D. I understand all those TVs that show the enlarged views of mountains and animals.
The funny thing is right now, there's a black frame around the picture.
I dunno, it looks good.
I kept asking my dad about it. He said we could return it, but I dunno.. The sad thing is someday I may want a bigger one. I actually had a hard time looking at the TVs. I just knew this one seemed genuine, like not just "big" and that's it.
I mean, I can see it, it's just not extremely big. I'm used to my old tablet and now Chromebook now, which are even smaller, tho you see it closer up.
I dunno, what I'm seeing now looks good, but I used to want a big one. I just feel my family is poor now and this sorta seemed appealing for some strange reason. I know we're always trying to save money, but that was irrelevant. It's just a nice size. I just wonder if, like, slightly larger would be befitting. It might make me mad.
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