Nite Soon

:)

Phil & Ellen

Phil was at it with the weight lady and daughter.

Ellen I didn't get to see all of since it didn't record, but online she had fun talking to 2 English people.  It was cute.  50 Shades of Gray is a surprise it's coming out so soon as a movie.

Weird

My mom was on the speaker phone with my Gramma and it got me on a bad note.  I spent money sending them stuff to be on a good note.  I didn't do anything, and she wants to think I did.

It usually rolls thru, but I need to not be in my own hurt world.

While I watched Dr. Phil, I wondered if I should delete what I said, but it seemed weird.  I did apologize.  It's not mean compared to what most people say, but it's not something I wanna talk about.

I don't know if it really matters, but if I had time it would.  I dunno, I was tired.  It seemed like the weight was out of consideration cuz it was itself a set of drawers and I had no one to ask.  I think I've asked before.

Edit

I edited my last post.

Apology

Sorry it seems inappropriate what or how I said it.  Why are people so up about my moving my drawers with clothes still in them?

So, you know what I'm talking about?

Why shouldn't I say what actually happened?  It's not normal.

How messed up is that?

I can see it in a group of people how they are.

Annoyed

Is this an opportunity for you to get all uppity like you mean something special now?  I see it is really coming thru, not just my idea for what's normal.  I'm not gonna switch to a perverted way of thinking.

Problem

They connected me to my neighbor rather than someone else like for the 1st time.  Like, they seemed like they were watching me when they made a noise.

Who do you think you are, anyway?

Who do you think I am?

Problem

These people experimenting me keep sending secret messages.  You can't just k*** my kids.

Well

It's my drawers, and I'll do as I like without you slamming ideas into my memory.

Problem

They just made an illusion to remember if I have a future daughter.  To connect to my moving my drawers without taking out the clothes 1st.  Who does this?  Sometimes, I don't have the energy/patience.

I don't have the house.

I felt self conscious when I had nothing to be self conscious about, but I'm thinking it'd be silly to dwell on this.  F.Y.I. it used to be my dad's.  It seems fine.  It just woulda been more dandy otherwise.  I dunno, tho..  I couldn't figure it out.  I been trying to get enough sleep, lately.  I don't think I shoulda been moving stuff around to begin with.  It really was a tough job and I would stop at nothing.  I had to vacuum, too, maybe.

OK

It is true I felt I'd barely make it, but I coulda done it if I believed in it .. but what if I couldn't?  I had a lot to do and figure, and it didn't seem to make a difference, just a bonus idea, which I would do if I could tho I really hate it.  I have weird stuff jammed all over.

Cleaned My Room

As usual now, I didn't take the clothes outta my drawers before moving them.  Yay or Nay?

Website Update

I keep getting secret messages to provoke me.  (People put microphones in my room and manipulate my computer, like how things load.)

I am on medications I don't need (psychiatric) and it makes me tired.

Worried My Psychiatrist Will Kill Me

Some medicines I found on TV not to do with psychiatry increase the risk of cancer.

English kids

sure are smart

Apology

I woke up cursing a little.  Not purposely, overall/mostly.

Something Weird

My dad came home when I was about to rub more ProActive on my face.

Someone I Knew to Be Nice

has turned on me and keeps acting sarcastic, snide, and stuck up.

They pretend it's just pretend.

Morning

lotta grain cereal
2 scrambled eggs we had left
seaweed (wanted grits, was thinking of toast)

10 minutes of Killer Abs

showered and dressed

More

They keep alluding to someone I like having a baby with someone else in my bathroom repeating what sounded like, "Pretty baby," over and over.