Sorry I became upset.
I did tell my mom some things about my dad and then told him.
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
People are bugging me all day.
Do I have to like get away? I can't do that. We share a kitchen and people invade my privacy!
I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE
I have my private life, too. You're making me appear all tacky.
WHY ARE YOU TALKING BACK? YOU WERE MEAN TO ME. I DO NOT ACCEPT IT. WHAT'S MY MOM DOING? WHY SHOULD I EVEN CARE TO APOLOGIZE? I WAS BEING BUZZED.
WHY ARE YOU TALKING BACK? YOU WERE MEAN TO ME. I DO NOT ACCEPT IT. WHAT'S MY MOM DOING? WHY SHOULD I EVEN CARE TO APOLOGIZE? I WAS BEING BUZZED.
I didn't go too far.
I got over it, and I'm tired of these people. Don't take it the wrong way.. It was just a buffer cuz I sat down to eat and I guess I was tired or something and wasn't thinking. I guess I was wrong to kid with that word in my head. I really didn't mean it literally. I grew up with people using that word a lot. Their parents.
Well
Now what? I tried to hard to put myself in the right mood.
What do you think about Sarah Brightman? She must be tired.
It's been a long and tumultuous day. I even made all the supper we have.
I don't know why but sometimes I do weird things, but I never emotionally even attacked someone.
I figured I needed to not deny the truth. Why not put the cards on the table? Does my dad have to touch me when he drives?
What do you think about Sarah Brightman? She must be tired.
It's been a long and tumultuous day. I even made all the supper we have.
I don't know why but sometimes I do weird things, but I never emotionally even attacked someone.
I figured I needed to not deny the truth. Why not put the cards on the table? Does my dad have to touch me when he drives?
Why I Am Not Like My Dad
I am a young girl?
He's not like me in a lot of ways. He does things that would not be as attractive on me.
He's not like me in a lot of ways. He does things that would not be as attractive on me.
Help!
They kept having my mom act nasty towards me and it made me upset and lose it in my thoughts. I said the k word about having my dad make me feel him. Like when he drives. My mom just glared bemusedly at me. I meant it as an aside, like not really that word, but I lost it. I changed right after though and learned a new way to cope, by ignoring.
Does anyone wanna talk this out?
Someone died from my high school, and I can't help but wonder though it makes sense otherwise that the people experimenting on me are telling people when to kill themselves just to make me feel bad. Like, they take people I look up to and say they said when to kill them and why.
So, something else came up, like you take people for being popular but mean or just more fortunate socially but not otherwise in certain ways at least.. whom also must be mixed race with a few drops of blood.. that they can be adored by famous people but me being sorta famous where I live can't. I was only a teenager. I was more than just a person, I was an artist. It must be nice to be a real person.
So, something else came up, like you take people for being popular but mean or just more fortunate socially but not otherwise in certain ways at least.. whom also must be mixed race with a few drops of blood.. that they can be adored by famous people but me being sorta famous where I live can't. I was only a teenager. I was more than just a person, I was an artist. It must be nice to be a real person.
Me Nice
I never really attack anyone, but it seems when I mean something else people take away the specifications needed in the definition and say I did something mean and wouldn't even let me say, "Oh, sorry, I don't mean it/anymore." As to what came up is better left unsaid. It's not in every way necessary to begin with. I just was wondering why all the time, people say I "said something" it feels. They used to all say I was sweet, nice, smart, friendly, and as always shy for whatever reason. I'm just more refined in certain ways to myself.. It just seemed like something, so I thought I'd take liberty to point it out. And, if I did something, and say it was on purpose, which I can't see myself doing but can see it being interpreted that way actually.. so how do we make these bad possibilities better.. hm. Some people just sorta put you up to the ledge and not ever go into methods of prevention and understanding. It's not like someone said do such and such and remember and then that's how it usually goes.
What of what made me think to write this? They know! Well, it seems they want me in jail just to teach me a lesson for being good all the time, which doesn't make sense. You actually came into my home and told me I was incompatible with my parents and others. People don't usually come into my home and just see me alone, quite, polite, and doing my work at school at then. So, what of home? My dad greets me in an uncomfortable way, like I have to be fat like him and not skinny like my mom. He said hi kinda like a teddy bear. I've seen other people/person think so, too, viciously, like I have to be like my dad in ways that don't seem compatible to me. It's the same with my mom.
What of what made me think to write this? They know! Well, it seems they want me in jail just to teach me a lesson for being good all the time, which doesn't make sense. You actually came into my home and told me I was incompatible with my parents and others. People don't usually come into my home and just see me alone, quite, polite, and doing my work at school at then. So, what of home? My dad greets me in an uncomfortable way, like I have to be fat like him and not skinny like my mom. He said hi kinda like a teddy bear. I've seen other people/person think so, too, viciously, like I have to be like my dad in ways that don't seem compatible to me. It's the same with my mom.
Does it hurt your feelings more..
..to be reprimanded for little things people track down in your head or if it's something that you actually did, like messed up a room or something or was acting too wildly in a certain situation?
College
I just checked out Juilliard, but I don't know if I'd make it. I know 3 other conservatories, and one I studied organ at.. think I want to try. If you've heard of it, it's Oberlin, "organ heaven."
I checked out the community college, no running, and UCF has running.
I don't know know what's up with the forcing you to sing a certain way in college. That might make me not go. I wonder if private teachers teach at a high enough level. I almost got stuck in private lessons, but the teacher was a theater and speaking person. She seems to just teach in the summer, if that still.
Singing on my own seems to have been working. I'm not sure what the outside help might be, maybe watching Sarah Brightman's concert tour.
I wish I could run on a team. I seem so lazy in exercise on my own. I used to want to do it that way. I thought it would make me more civilized, like boot camp. It does come and go.
I dunno, we'll see, I guess. Maybe, Wednesday, I can make some calls.
I am mostly worried about laundry. I'll have my PJs, exercise clothes, and regular. I'll have to mail an ironing board. I used to hang them up but guess I can in my closet. I'm getting myself into that mindset. I can use those vacuumed plastic bags when I bring my clothes.
In a way, I think practicing at home will work better and I can try again for an agent.. :/
I checked out the community college, no running, and UCF has running.
I don't know know what's up with the forcing you to sing a certain way in college. That might make me not go. I wonder if private teachers teach at a high enough level. I almost got stuck in private lessons, but the teacher was a theater and speaking person. She seems to just teach in the summer, if that still.
Singing on my own seems to have been working. I'm not sure what the outside help might be, maybe watching Sarah Brightman's concert tour.
I wish I could run on a team. I seem so lazy in exercise on my own. I used to want to do it that way. I thought it would make me more civilized, like boot camp. It does come and go.
I dunno, we'll see, I guess. Maybe, Wednesday, I can make some calls.
I am mostly worried about laundry. I'll have my PJs, exercise clothes, and regular. I'll have to mail an ironing board. I used to hang them up but guess I can in my closet. I'm getting myself into that mindset. I can use those vacuumed plastic bags when I bring my clothes.
In a way, I think practicing at home will work better and I can try again for an agent.. :/
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