Tuesday, November 29, 2016
"I've been tested."
People think I am shit, after I lived a hard life being tricked and trying to figure things out as a minor.
Sad
People think they don't have to be nice to me because maybe I have friends in high places, but I don't seem to have anything. I have no one to cope with about our similar conditions.
I don't have some things I need, and people are teasing me like I offend people and giving them attention but like it's instead. When I talk about this, they do something else "big" to hurt me.
I don't have some things I need, and people are teasing me like I offend people and giving them attention but like it's instead. When I talk about this, they do something else "big" to hurt me.
Did you know growing up
I never got met my harbored desire to do music interacting with others so much-
Enemy Creatures
Everyone said Christina doesn't matter, "I can 'do it' say Christina doesn't matter, but I don't know why."
Look, there is nothing wrong with me writing about my problems just because you're watching rather than enjoying any thing. My problems are there, and I'm not so stupid as to say a problem is if someone else is happy. Maybe, you didn't follow.
Look, there is nothing wrong with me writing about my problems just because you're watching rather than enjoying any thing. My problems are there, and I'm not so stupid as to say a problem is if someone else is happy. Maybe, you didn't follow.
Not at My Prime
How am I just lazy trash?
I look more prettified than a lot of people. I'm not some thing that spiked off the chart.
I look more prettified than a lot of people. I'm not some thing that spiked off the chart.
German German German!
Are Germans really "better," is this about me, or is this about my personal discovery?
I kept asking my mom what other language should I fall back on.
I kept asking my mom what other language should I fall back on.
If it's not okay for me..
..it's not okay.
Why did I get told maybe things were good potential before but now better? It's just to punish me.
That's a big statement. It says that things were already okay, but now they're better for someone else.
😊
Why did I get told maybe things were good potential before but now better? It's just to punish me.
That's a big statement. It says that things were already okay, but now they're better for someone else.
😊
Who cares?
Someone I like is being raised above me and the people who want to stimulate them are freaks of nature.
(I want what's best for them!)
😂
So, what do you want?
To end up with your eyes mysteriously crossed or your head inadvertently sunken in?
😲
😲
I'm still not that dumb.
They are punishing me this hard, ruining someone I looked up to. You can't just go out and do that to anyone.
I see a problem-
Look, I am not stupid. I do not like how I got worldwide attention only for it to go to someone else I look up to just to stimulate them to not be the same in a good way anymore concerning me.
On This Here Earth
I've got a long life ahead of me and a lot of work to do or to be an invalid outcast.
I don't know why things are not clicking for me because of the world.
I'm creeping up, doing things to make me happy, instead- I'm saving money to buy clothes and some toys. I don't want to give up being a musician.
I don't know why things are not clicking for me because of the world.
I'm creeping up, doing things to make me happy, instead- I'm saving money to buy clothes and some toys. I don't want to give up being a musician.
As usual..
..sorry if anyone was offended by anything I talked about that's been happening to me. I hope I improve, but I heard brain cells don't regrow. I wonder if I'm an invalid. I don't know if I've imposed myself on anyone. I just don't have a life where the sequence is smooth acceptance in my opinion, in some ways sometimes. I think initially it was my race, and that's not my fault. I respect all races, tho. I noticed too that when Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) starring Johnny Depp directed by Tim Burton.. that life changed then, too, like opportunities and guilt. Everyone was jealous of it the movie or the people involved. So, lies came out and people fought, and the world was never the same. I think older people were mean to us younger people and for me I had weird issues, not sure why no one told me to change because they weren't telling the truth before about what life was and going to be for me, other plans. I think I said I was concerned that the experiment on me was more important than spending more time on a school that maybe was not in line with my academic history. Later on, the classes were too hard and I ended up dropping out or going on a sabbatical. Now, I want to start a new instrument and since musicians don't really need to go to college I'm not going to college and am lonely and feel out. Transportation would be hard, and money may be impossible. My record is not exactly spotless, concerning scholarships. The main problem is money for a surplus of food. My appetite has gone down since the psych pills, tho. People think my mind wanders, but they are just spending too much time looking at the big picture and not what I feel like I'm doing. I didn't even know anyone cared. Also, what I say they think I'm silly that I don't know it doesn't matter. I can see it's just racism. I miss talking to people. It makes me better.
What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?
Did you know that since they started spying on me and other things from my past that aren't very bad compared to others.. that I can't seem to shrug off the guilt. I'm worried cuz I can't even go to confession cuz it's not cuz they're really sins but still matter.
I had a hard time thinking for some reason. I know I lost it when I was kicked out of what I was doing in music after a year at a choice college with a high scholarship. I was lied to about what I would do being spied on and it was like I didn't matter and was interrupted and had a hard time thinking for myself. I felt hypnotized to do some things and lost it when I was overly lonely with I felt for some reason nowhere to go and nothing to do that would do anything for me.
It seems they think since I'm so good that like I know my dad wants worse things to happen to me so that it will have an affect on my conscience, when what I did was not illegal, a sin, nor that bad.. nor fully covered in the Bible.
I had a hard time thinking for some reason. I know I lost it when I was kicked out of what I was doing in music after a year at a choice college with a high scholarship. I was lied to about what I would do being spied on and it was like I didn't matter and was interrupted and had a hard time thinking for myself. I felt hypnotized to do some things and lost it when I was overly lonely with I felt for some reason nowhere to go and nothing to do that would do anything for me.
It seems they think since I'm so good that like I know my dad wants worse things to happen to me so that it will have an affect on my conscience, when what I did was not illegal, a sin, nor that bad.. nor fully covered in the Bible.
Question
What if we just keep making young people who are not born in 1997/1998 with Late Boom parents feel and be worse and worse? What is wrong? I know your parents's birth years are actually important. What if my mom is born in 1959 and I was born in Generation X? What can be done? ..and I act like my mom's age in ways.
Hm.. points for me.
Why are people going into my home and telling me I don't get treated like I'm good?
Thoughts
Someone is not in check in the world/US/Orlando.. tho I think in Orlando I know they are trying. Not to say they'd need it more than others.
I don't want people to tell them bad things about them, too.
Has anyone masturbated over this for any reason?
I mean, this person is not really a public figure in that way. It happened underground thru telepathy between those of similar racial dispositions.
I don't want people to tell them bad things about them, too.
Has anyone masturbated over this for any reason?
I mean, this person is not really a public figure in that way. It happened underground thru telepathy between those of similar racial dispositions.
cont.
I know! That's a good one. That's just throwing away people.
It seems someone was always there for others, like Late Boomers had a lot of support from whatever their parents were to them. It's not impossible to do it again for other generations. What about kids today? I guess they have some improvements, tho not if you're labeled Autistic.
Why do people get offended if I have needs, like if I say I am unwantedly labeled a paranoid schizo? Late Boomers do that? They don't do that about their younger kids. What's so good about it, anyway? the kids born around 1997/1998, when fancier computers, or good affordable PC's with their features basically, and Titanic came out. I never realized it that way until this moment.
It seems someone was always there for others, like Late Boomers had a lot of support from whatever their parents were to them. It's not impossible to do it again for other generations. What about kids today? I guess they have some improvements, tho not if you're labeled Autistic.
Why do people get offended if I have needs, like if I say I am unwantedly labeled a paranoid schizo? Late Boomers do that? They don't do that about their younger kids. What's so good about it, anyway? the kids born around 1997/1998, when fancier computers, or good affordable PC's with their features basically, and Titanic came out. I never realized it that way until this moment.
What?
I've lost my college major where I had a prestigious scholarship.
Is Hillary more important than me?
It's been 11 years. Then, they were spying on me in private and started telling me it. Do you think Hillary needs a break like they say I do? I thought a lot of people needed breaks. I don't know if that means quitting.
Is Hillary more important than me?
It's been 11 years. Then, they were spying on me in private and started telling me it. Do you think Hillary needs a break like they say I do? I thought a lot of people needed breaks. I don't know if that means quitting.
Problem? *raises eyebrows*
If they said it was okay, then why is there a problem with what I talk about cuz I have my own problems here?
You may have done something, but that was because of another problem. I just realized that you can't get dizzy from a split decision in front of the world cuz that doesn't say much alone itself. So, I wonder.
You may have done something, but that was because of another problem. I just realized that you can't get dizzy from a split decision in front of the world cuz that doesn't say much alone itself. So, I wonder.
So then.. what can we do?
This person probably is "ruined" for me and I can't "fix" it. Well, I can do anything, in a way, so we'll see.
Don't say it's not true cuz I saw what just happened. Whatever just happened, happened.
Pitch Perfect 2 quote and speaker, highlight for spoilers: "Let us have it, let them have it, let the world have it!" That's by the Green Bay Packers.
You know, this is like a story I read in school, highlight for spoilers: The Poisonwood Bible, and it was a favorite of mine. It's like in Africa, a white family, and the youngest girl is so affected by her sick mom and wastes away, a blonde with maybe curly hair, and she dies from a snakebite and she talks in the end of her life saying she's the eyes in the tree..
💚
Don't say it's not true cuz I saw what just happened. Whatever just happened, happened.
Pitch Perfect 2 quote and speaker, highlight for spoilers: "Let us have it, let them have it, let the world have it!" That's by the Green Bay Packers.
You know, this is like a story I read in school, highlight for spoilers: The Poisonwood Bible, and it was a favorite of mine. It's like in Africa, a white family, and the youngest girl is so affected by her sick mom and wastes away, a blonde with maybe curly hair, and she dies from a snakebite and she talks in the end of her life saying she's the eyes in the tree..
💚
Heh Heh Heh
Funny people wonder if I'm okay, like someone else I like, but I kinda like how things were before, in some ways, concerning someone else I like, who said things were really all groovy already. How has this craze positively affected anyone, joking I'm no longer important cuz I did some bad things that weren't? If things were okay, how is it okay now too?
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