Ellen claims to be the one to be there for you, but learning the ropes of wanting to be more manly as a child it can probably in the end make you the runt of the litter at the end of the line. Imagine a girl trying to be like a boy, but she's not a boy.
Boys grow more slowly and are more immature. Girls shoot up. Boys turn over every stone. "Leave no stone unturned." They may seem more caring and babyish in ways like this.. They can have a sad puppy dog mentality. They could be stunning and all. A girl would be very affected trying to be like this.
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Losing Trust
A lotta you white folks really never meet these kinds of benchmarks and not much like this these days.
New Submission to Dr. Phil
WHOLE WORLD THINKS OF ME FOR BEING TRICKED INTO CALLING SOMEONE SOMETHING FOR FUN ONLINE
My deep, dark secret is I know the whole world is always thinking about me. I know what it is, tho, it's like a desire like jealousy to be like me. What made that secret happen was people could read into me and people spread around to others in the same manner, like telepathy or "reading others," that I called someone the N word online and it was Tim Burton's daughter. However, I thought they wanted me to do it to make the word seem more friendly to her. I was mad at the time and didn't think I'd be psychoanalyzed for it for over 5 years by the whole world. I just really don't get how that's smart. Why test me to say that in the 1st place? It wasn't full out my problem.
Now, everyone is always acting like anything I did that was bad was not just a little bad but so bad they can call me things that mean I'm a n***** and that I brought being a n***** upon myself and cannot really change that fact.
Everyone always has a problem with me. They are channeled like robot sheep to disagree with me, bullying me and kicking me out of things online in the past like crazy.
---
MY FAMILY AND AREA I LIVE IN ACT LIKE I HAVE A LOT OF UNSOLVED PROBLEMS AND DETEST ME DAILY
I go out with my dad sometimes to see movies and I see him at supper. He feels he needs to be careful around me, ever since I went to the mental hospital. I feel like he is upset and finds fault in me and has problems with me. I cannot ask why I feel he is making me uncomfortable or else he will lunge at me and stick out his thumb like a hitchhiker and tell me to get out the door, until I submit. He even said if I went back to the mental hopsital that he wouldn't come get me. I had gotten out in 1 night that time. I find what he said suggestive. It suggests that he wants to see me subdued by the law rather than be let go innocent. The problem with that is when I went back after I was the one who called the police while at my therapist's office just by coincidence or whatever .. my mom said to live at home I had to stay on medicine. She is a firm believer I need to be on medicine. However, it makes me tired and I don't know how easy it will be for me to get out clean. I wanna either dance as a career or go back to college and study and get a Doctorate of Music Edcuation (DME.) I wanna get rid of all these extra appointments. All because I got framed to call someone the N word, I have to leave my house and my parents just threw me out as garbage. I am 28, but my college I chose marked down some grades, raised some, and kicked me out of my major and singing. I stayed awhile and took some general studies, but it was too hard and I had to come home after a few semesters with all Fs which are now all Ws.
I go out in the city, and people look at me funny and shuffle their feet whenever they feel they can find some fault in me. They act like they say "negro" around me and ignore my presence and act like I need to be subdued and they don't wanna deal with my problems and being part Chinese. My mom is full Chinese. I think it prevented me from getting a job at Disney and maybe Sears.
My mom has practiced suggestive behavior around me. She acts like I'm my dad, and I'm sensitive not to let him touch me. I find it just being nasty and going for the tender spot, to suggest I am my dad and not related to her in any way.
My dad also acts in secret like I can't see my relatives because he went up a few times without me when I changed my mind but was tired. So what? I wasn't trying to play around. At least, he got to visit.
---
BEING SPOOFED OUT OF COLLEGE
When I went to take classes at a community college, a teacher already spotted me out online apparently as "bad" to others because I called someone the N word. She acted funnily around me. When I tried to be friendly to her after class, she started leaving more hastily. Once, I was asking about work in class and she hit her ben on the paper and ripped it. I went to the bathroom a lot and she told the counselor that was why she wanted me to leave. I need a psychiatrist note to go back. The teacher and kids bothered me like people in the community. The funny thing is on the bus no one is bad like that.
---
KICKED OUT OF MY COLLEGE PROGRAM FOR SEEMING SHY TO FACULTY SUPPOSEDLY
When I was younger, I was kicked out of my major of Music Education for no reason. I was kicked out of having piano as my major instrument. I was not allowed to take singing. This was my scholarship and university I chose. It was private and Catholic and at the heart of the city of New Orleans, near where I lived as a teenager. They said I was too shy. That's no reason. It was probably for not being able to memorize my piano piece because I didn't practice enough. I had a higher course load that semester. Instead of recommending a nice girl like me to take less courses, they stole my future at 19. I am 28. I have no degree and am struggling in life. I know I was traumatized by being kicked out. I could not focus in summer school. Same thing kept happening. There were noisy workers outside my dorm. Next semester, I heard suicidal noises in my ear for some reason. I went home the semester after, with all Fs that are now Medical or some kind of Withdrawals. I tried to finish my General Studies, but nothing was on the test as in the paper/book for some of the classes. I tried school at home for 18 credits and got all Fs for some strange reason also forgetting to Withdraw. I thought it would look bad either way, too.
---
PEOPLE WATCHING ME IN PRIVATE SINCE AT LEAST 2005 TO MY KNOWLEDGE
I feel guilty but was very mad when Ellen DeGeneres started being mean to me tho inviting about watching the show. She had people be mean to me thru cameras and speakers in my room and hacking my computer to control when it loads. It sends annoying, hurtful messages. I cursed about things. She got mad at me and thinks that means people should all be mean to me and going strong. I think she is rejecting my future opportunity to have grow and change, but even before that opportunity was stolen.
When I was kicked out of my major, they pretended a teacher was watching me on a camera all the time and also sending clicks. No one who talks to me really connects, anymore, since that. They stopped the messages after awhile. I was supposed to go to "my real mom" and family at 19, but it never happened. I felt distracted to sing again, like my opportunity was stifled. I find fault in this experience. I was told in code that my whole life was an experiment and that the whole world would be bright and cheery and I'd be babied and loved, but I'm sensitive about my parents with things like that. I never got tha tnew family. I guess this was all a lie. Instead, it all stopped when we moved to Orlando like nothing mattered cuz I wasn't perfect.
I used to hear things after I thought my life was an experiment. I was up north during Hurricane Katrina at my college in New Orleans. I liked hearing these things. They were like friends, demons flying around from Heaven. I had several other experiences, as well. I was scared by a ghost at my Gramma's house up north befores she left permanently for Florida.
---
HOLDING GRUDGES ONLY ON ME
I think this is all silly and based on things like that when I was 11 I said, "Oh, no," when my dad came home from work. It was cuz I didn't finish my homework yet, but he never asked why, just was self-satisfied about what he thouht he had on me I bet.
I was originally hospitalized in a mental hospital at 16 when I couldn't keep up in American History AP/Gifted. I am now 28. I said that all the calling me to the counselor I could not keep up in class. I had all A's in the other non-lecture/heavy reading classes.
Ever since, people act like I'm something to stand off from who know. They act like it's a big deal and I'm not me.
---
MORE INFO./BREAKDOWN OF PROBLEMS
http://christinabarrett4.wix.com/drphil
My deep, dark secret is I know the whole world is always thinking about me. I know what it is, tho, it's like a desire like jealousy to be like me. What made that secret happen was people could read into me and people spread around to others in the same manner, like telepathy or "reading others," that I called someone the N word online and it was Tim Burton's daughter. However, I thought they wanted me to do it to make the word seem more friendly to her. I was mad at the time and didn't think I'd be psychoanalyzed for it for over 5 years by the whole world. I just really don't get how that's smart. Why test me to say that in the 1st place? It wasn't full out my problem.
Now, everyone is always acting like anything I did that was bad was not just a little bad but so bad they can call me things that mean I'm a n***** and that I brought being a n***** upon myself and cannot really change that fact.
Everyone always has a problem with me. They are channeled like robot sheep to disagree with me, bullying me and kicking me out of things online in the past like crazy.
---
MY FAMILY AND AREA I LIVE IN ACT LIKE I HAVE A LOT OF UNSOLVED PROBLEMS AND DETEST ME DAILY
I go out with my dad sometimes to see movies and I see him at supper. He feels he needs to be careful around me, ever since I went to the mental hospital. I feel like he is upset and finds fault in me and has problems with me. I cannot ask why I feel he is making me uncomfortable or else he will lunge at me and stick out his thumb like a hitchhiker and tell me to get out the door, until I submit. He even said if I went back to the mental hopsital that he wouldn't come get me. I had gotten out in 1 night that time. I find what he said suggestive. It suggests that he wants to see me subdued by the law rather than be let go innocent. The problem with that is when I went back after I was the one who called the police while at my therapist's office just by coincidence or whatever .. my mom said to live at home I had to stay on medicine. She is a firm believer I need to be on medicine. However, it makes me tired and I don't know how easy it will be for me to get out clean. I wanna either dance as a career or go back to college and study and get a Doctorate of Music Edcuation (DME.) I wanna get rid of all these extra appointments. All because I got framed to call someone the N word, I have to leave my house and my parents just threw me out as garbage. I am 28, but my college I chose marked down some grades, raised some, and kicked me out of my major and singing. I stayed awhile and took some general studies, but it was too hard and I had to come home after a few semesters with all Fs which are now all Ws.
I go out in the city, and people look at me funny and shuffle their feet whenever they feel they can find some fault in me. They act like they say "negro" around me and ignore my presence and act like I need to be subdued and they don't wanna deal with my problems and being part Chinese. My mom is full Chinese. I think it prevented me from getting a job at Disney and maybe Sears.
My mom has practiced suggestive behavior around me. She acts like I'm my dad, and I'm sensitive not to let him touch me. I find it just being nasty and going for the tender spot, to suggest I am my dad and not related to her in any way.
My dad also acts in secret like I can't see my relatives because he went up a few times without me when I changed my mind but was tired. So what? I wasn't trying to play around. At least, he got to visit.
---
BEING SPOOFED OUT OF COLLEGE
When I went to take classes at a community college, a teacher already spotted me out online apparently as "bad" to others because I called someone the N word. She acted funnily around me. When I tried to be friendly to her after class, she started leaving more hastily. Once, I was asking about work in class and she hit her ben on the paper and ripped it. I went to the bathroom a lot and she told the counselor that was why she wanted me to leave. I need a psychiatrist note to go back. The teacher and kids bothered me like people in the community. The funny thing is on the bus no one is bad like that.
---
KICKED OUT OF MY COLLEGE PROGRAM FOR SEEMING SHY TO FACULTY SUPPOSEDLY
When I was younger, I was kicked out of my major of Music Education for no reason. I was kicked out of having piano as my major instrument. I was not allowed to take singing. This was my scholarship and university I chose. It was private and Catholic and at the heart of the city of New Orleans, near where I lived as a teenager. They said I was too shy. That's no reason. It was probably for not being able to memorize my piano piece because I didn't practice enough. I had a higher course load that semester. Instead of recommending a nice girl like me to take less courses, they stole my future at 19. I am 28. I have no degree and am struggling in life. I know I was traumatized by being kicked out. I could not focus in summer school. Same thing kept happening. There were noisy workers outside my dorm. Next semester, I heard suicidal noises in my ear for some reason. I went home the semester after, with all Fs that are now Medical or some kind of Withdrawals. I tried to finish my General Studies, but nothing was on the test as in the paper/book for some of the classes. I tried school at home for 18 credits and got all Fs for some strange reason also forgetting to Withdraw. I thought it would look bad either way, too.
---
PEOPLE WATCHING ME IN PRIVATE SINCE AT LEAST 2005 TO MY KNOWLEDGE
I feel guilty but was very mad when Ellen DeGeneres started being mean to me tho inviting about watching the show. She had people be mean to me thru cameras and speakers in my room and hacking my computer to control when it loads. It sends annoying, hurtful messages. I cursed about things. She got mad at me and thinks that means people should all be mean to me and going strong. I think she is rejecting my future opportunity to have grow and change, but even before that opportunity was stolen.
When I was kicked out of my major, they pretended a teacher was watching me on a camera all the time and also sending clicks. No one who talks to me really connects, anymore, since that. They stopped the messages after awhile. I was supposed to go to "my real mom" and family at 19, but it never happened. I felt distracted to sing again, like my opportunity was stifled. I find fault in this experience. I was told in code that my whole life was an experiment and that the whole world would be bright and cheery and I'd be babied and loved, but I'm sensitive about my parents with things like that. I never got tha tnew family. I guess this was all a lie. Instead, it all stopped when we moved to Orlando like nothing mattered cuz I wasn't perfect.
I used to hear things after I thought my life was an experiment. I was up north during Hurricane Katrina at my college in New Orleans. I liked hearing these things. They were like friends, demons flying around from Heaven. I had several other experiences, as well. I was scared by a ghost at my Gramma's house up north befores she left permanently for Florida.
---
HOLDING GRUDGES ONLY ON ME
I think this is all silly and based on things like that when I was 11 I said, "Oh, no," when my dad came home from work. It was cuz I didn't finish my homework yet, but he never asked why, just was self-satisfied about what he thouht he had on me I bet.
I was originally hospitalized in a mental hospital at 16 when I couldn't keep up in American History AP/Gifted. I am now 28. I said that all the calling me to the counselor I could not keep up in class. I had all A's in the other non-lecture/heavy reading classes.
Ever since, people act like I'm something to stand off from who know. They act like it's a big deal and I'm not me.
---
MORE INFO./BREAKDOWN OF PROBLEMS
http://christinabarrett4.wix.com/drphil
NOT creative
Orlando wants to drop a brick to see how creative you can't be in your response to adverse initiations.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
- Deborah Pedersen Marry the right person. If you're not compatible in most things it will end up pulling you apart.
- Christina Barrett I know some people like the drama of the workoholic mom and the party dad..
A Letter for Help
Not to erase behavior tempering but for the problems I have and any hopes for the future if you question things I've done. I don't want to be a problem to society. We wonder why people have attitudes all the time, even all these sweet girls with white blone hair.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
Basically, marriage is something to show off like money, but the perspiration goes into this. Everything is "1% inspiration 99% perspiration." I think us psychological people have a lot to uncover in the mystery of why successful people would trust in marriage or even having kids because I believe having kids takes 2 and never 1, unless you grow up and as an adult you can temper that way of believing.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
- Christina Barrett What's right and wrong is easy to see. Acting all punishing to a young adult who is really innocent is not the way for anyone to go. Sticking mean thougts in their head, for example. You shouldn't have to tell someone this.
- Jeanne Evans Christina Barrett, I agree that protecting a young innocent child is VITAL. Though, I don't know where you're coming from with this comment -- I did't see reference to it in the feed. I'm sorry if you're the child that was treated so badly.
- Christina Barrett I just feel it is a big hinderance in the productivity of a relationship. It is important that people learn a healthy outlet to problems and to not make them seem more serious than they really are.
Lemme also say that what you do to this other person is a sin against me. Who? Well, I dunno. See if you can keep this one up.
No, I hope I am not directing this at someone like Dr. Phil. Who or what could this be directed at?
I'm saying I don't wanna be violent but post on my blog to deal with the problems. I don't see how that will always help, tho. People don't look up these things..
You should be nice to this person. It was the way you said something that involved others, too.
No, I hope I am not directing this at someone like Dr. Phil. Who or what could this be directed at?
I'm saying I don't wanna be violent but post on my blog to deal with the problems. I don't see how that will always help, tho. People don't look up these things..
You should be nice to this person. It was the way you said something that involved others, too.
OK, Dr. Phil
I have to set some internal goals.
When "Dr. Phil" comes up, don't start complaining.
Don't be nasty to Ellen.
Leave my parents alone.
When "Dr. Phil" comes up, don't start complaining.
Don't be nasty to Ellen.
Leave my parents alone.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
What's right and wrong is easy to see. Acting all punishing to a young adult who is really innocent is not the way for anyone to go. Sticking mean thougts in their head, for example. You shouldn't have to tell someone this.
cont.
All the topics on her are positive, but it seems too good to be true. One slip and it will have a ripple effect.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
That's why I'm going back to class and getting a good job. I can't get out "right this minute." Someday, I can, tho.. I feel like it's a clock ticking on my life. (Living at home. I don't know why if I was already an adult my dad/parents express anger on me. I don't even know what happened last night but that I was being bothered and my dad would yell if I told him. Don't bother me. My aunt does that, too.) Most people get out early and know what they can and can't do. I was in college, simply put..
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