Sunday, October 14, 2012

Sushi! :6

My mom got me some.

I told my mom I was getting a lot more, but she said you can't preserve it long.

I still get mad.

When people outside say "it's not it" it seems to me all the time.  That gets me pretty mad.  It's just because I'm mixed race and pretty.

MY DAD

Just because there was a button to press and I was feeling clumsy from being tortured doesn't mean my dad can get me to tell Ellen DeGeneres to leave me alone and hypnotize my mom to make me not be able to feel well alone.  She really seemed to bring something up that wasn't something.  :6

I know with Tim Burton I used to think of him a lot, but I don't remember what I was doing, at that time.  :^.  I used to think I think pretty directly about Johnny Depp because I mean you're supposed to!  I wasn't masturbating or anything...  I don't really masturbate for pleasure.

My Dad

I think he's trying to make me fat and stuff because of that thing I posted on my website.  I feel miserable all the time and my whole life and didn't have any close relationships.  Why do you think I can't do anything anymore?  Isn't that sick and perverted?  I just try to play around and have a little fun but without being able to think?  And people are like edging me on, in a way.  It shouldn't matter what he feels.

LEAVE ME ALONE ABOUT THE STUPID N WORD THING

NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU SAY

WAH

My mom came back in and suggested something else.  She suggested my daughter wouldn't do ballet.  Then, she suggested she wouldn't get in Hollywood.  She's suggesting I can't be like everyone else and get mad because I'm suggestively good at it, neat at it.  What do you think just happened?  Ow, my eyes!  This happens all the time in movies.

Let me get you back on focus.

I just made a breakthrough in my strength, and you cannot stop me.  Instead, my mom is capable of sexually arousing me all of a sudden like that, like I'm my brother.  LEAVE ME ALONE FOR GOOD!

Help!

My parents are sexually abusing me.  They made me go into sexual anti-convulsiosn.

I was just taking a break from feeling things, content at my day's work, looking forward to the next day.  Explained my present situation.  My dad seemed to be accepting of it.  I have a noisemaker that doesn't cover like music, though.  So, anyway, my mom cmoes into the laundry room.  She makes my right egg sack feel the reaction after the word "fart..."

My vagina feels like it's being masturbated, like turned inside out.  I think it's pulsing.

What sick parents.  Once I have fun, they turn my world inside out and upside down and don't let me feel my own due pleasure or independence in life.

So, they make me feel uncomfortable, and the medicine does not help.  I'd rather report my parents to authority, but I am too sick to work.  I don't want to live with my aunt.  The medicine made me lose my period for over a year, and now it's not as heavy.  I am very mad.  I got a very heavy period when I finally came home from college.  I almost didn't go to college.

I was feeling so good before, and I am so upset I was interrupted.  I think my dad is gay about me making any adverse noise when I feel inwardly agitated for no good reason and am treated like I'm crap, which I am in a way thanks to them.

No, I will not sit here and meditate on their mistakes in preparing food.  I don't like their ways.  Not in the way I like other people because they are who they are.

I feel sorta stimulated in my vagina to not feel pleasure but to feel stupid.

I was talking about fun things online and feel made fun of for no good reason, for the stupid n word thing.  I can't post about new kinds of things and cannot live my true dream because of it.  This makes no sense.  Leave me alone.  I will get you and authority.

Please stop skirting around me that maybe I have to experience good things but only once.  I can control myself pretty well.  What happened?  Why can't I h*rt you?  Then, you wouldn't be able to hurt me.

I feel so disettled.  I was asleep and reacted to when the light was turned on by my mom.

I'm already having problems because of girls with older moms!  And because I have an older dad!  I am being made fun of for liking younger people but not like the women born around 1960 are getting in trouble for it!

I felt my face change, and I think it's because of Tim Burton's son.

Oh, and I feel so bad, kinda dirty though I took a shower, a bit fat, too, from resting and not working out.

So, anyway, what was there was a trap for his son's face to be molested and go in convulsions, so I just sorta didn't react sexually but "pressed 'the button.'"  That was so insulting about my face.  I was thinking Ellen DeGeneres caused it, but who wants to think that about her?  Well, they've thought it others.

I feel irritated how my mom just got close to me.  She's like another race to me.

So, no, I didn't literally want to hurt him but feel clumsy and very mistreated and even said don't come near me.  I'm having trouble typing, for God's sake!

Wanna know a little secret?

Ellen DeGeneres is hard to put up with.  She gets more vibrant with sin!

Well, I probably watch her show for the same reason but may have seen it sooner, otherwise.  9=

...

Bound to Occur?

Um, I don't think we were born to die.

My Eggs

What if they're really ruined?  ':o  Doesn't that mean we should *beep* him?

Good Night

I'm going to bed, now.  I'm worried about what I will think.  Maybe, the time has come.  I'm just too invaded, for no good reason.

Ellen DeGeneres..

I hope she is magic.  Not everyone wants to be.

I came back to set things right.  I think I had to come back, though.

Ellen DeGeneres

Ellen DeGeneres is scary?  Why does she waste her time?  Oh, that's right, is she a magician?
Facebook

I was thinking of deleting my posts.

However, I think my dad likes them there.  I'm not sure what's going to happen to Ellen DeGeneres, anyway.  She doesn't want to accept the n word conspiracy.  She does enjoy hurting me, for some reason.  }:D

I think she is sensitive to both sides of the issue.

Wasn't this funny, though?  I don't know why I got so mad - oh, I just felt my eggs go crap from him.  And Ellen DeGeneres.  Please, don't hurt me.  Why does everyone I meet hurt me?  I'm out to get you.

Tweet @TheEllenShow

Funny how our beginnings are very different.  You started out a gay entertainer, and I started out a classical musician and singer starting out to become a music teacher.  I flunked out, and here you are still the same as ever!  8D

Tweet @TheEllenShow

I had a dream where there were a few beer machines with logos, apparently in Florida where I'm from.  I don't drink, but I like food with wine.  I guess I don't drink because I don't feel well.  I do believe in not drinking, at all, anyway.

Tweet @TheEllenShow

Oh, really...  I just figured out something today.  I remember well, that people want you to be famous only so they can be more famous later.  To perform!

Tweet @TheEllenShow

Well, you have some nice cats.  >^,,^<  I guess they don't want you to leave.  I wonder why...  Wait, no, I don't.  You have more than one cat, I see.  I had a friend who had lots of pets.

Not Too Mad

Just worried.  As usual.  :|

What the Hell?

What's going on in my NEW BLOG?  D:'

My Dad

We already know my dad isn't really always right over me and my mom.

Mrs. Ellen DeGeneres

Okay, I will keep talking to you.  I like watching your show.  I don't know why my family is being mean to me because of you because you didn't do anything wrong.

I think my parents are animals and wondering why I didn't eat supper today, but I haven't been for awhile.

If my dad wants to see me, he needs to be more open.

What a nigger. What a machine.

I don't want him to have any affect on my life, at all, see what comes.

SOMEONE GET MY DAD OUTTA HERE

SOMEONE LIKE *BEEP* HIM

I'LL WALLOP YOU TO THE *BEEP*

This is to my dad.  If you don't cut the crap about the n word thing and all the times bad thoughts bubbled in my head.

ELLEN DEGENERES

LEAVE ME ALONE.  I like talking to you, but my dad just came in here and I felt the effects of Kate Bush on my future possible son!  ':{  I don't want a future possible tortured child.  I felt his crap bubble up my left egg sack.  He's just a mimicky, worthless idiot like he makes his sister out to be.
New Facebook

Decisions, Decisions

Why do people think that some things offend them and other people really get offended and they can't control themselves or chose not to?

Topics While I Was Riled Up

My Dad and Mom

If my dad cares about her so much, why does he lose his temper with her?  He used to do it outwardly but "not yell."  He is very racist, yet open to other races|cultures.

You know, quite frankly, I don't care about your stupid thoughts about your mother, like maybe she disapproves of the food my mom cooks yet you're too stubborn to control what she decides to feed you.


Surprises

Most people have fatal surprises and should let people like me control my own life.  They should listen to me and give me what they owe me, like food and shelter and the like...


Back Off!

I guess some people need to learn to back off.


Getting Mad

Why not just change your life yourself?  If you want something, like me to have a good eating experience and I don't have it, that isn't my fault!  You can certainly work your way around this and even forget about it, somehow...


The Stupid N Word Thing

This is all because of the stupid n word thing.  Why don't you realize that lots of people use that word?


Age and Parents

I guess that we lived our life already and are onto greater things.  I still am growing up.


Racist!

My dad is weird.  He overreacts to how my mom behaves, like her nuances, though she is very nice.  He doesn't want her to do things other people do!  D:{  ...


Ellen DeGeneres

Quit interfering my life because of the stupid n word thing.  My mom keeps threatening me.  Tell her to stop!  Just because you don't have kids does not mean that if I do that they will have to suffer.  You'll all be long gone before that ever happens!  }:D


Quit picking on me.

No one cares about my little brother.  Don't think it couldn't happen to you.  I don't know if it could happen to me.
New Blog

Welcome to my blog!

Being European

I guess any non-European influence could give any European extra problems.

Europeans and Their Fascination With Europe

Why even bother talking to them about their fascination with being European?  I have no idea "what" it's like to have a more European father.  I don't think I care, frankly, just the prejudicea about my Native Ameican and probably Jewish blood.

Food Here

My mom doesn't really have the supplies.

Americans

So, maybe, I have to respect Europeans, but what about other Americans?  They're always competing to see who can be the most American.  }:{  So, what happened to the idea of being good just like in general?

}:{ Gr.

My dad just came back in again.

There seems to be the idea that I'm not all I used to be cracked up to be.

Eating Healthier

I'm eating healthier now.  :9

What Happened This Time

I just felt funny and wanted to pretend I was like a soldier fighting and was upset that I was American but accepted it but not that it was necessarily the best thing.

I was looking for old Halloween costumes like that.  I still have to tell my dad what I want to be.  He's gonna buy the costume.  I also have to decide to spend my money a certain way by a certain time.

^99^  My dad just asked me to go to the mall, and I said no I want to wait until it's time for us to go to the grocery store.  I don't feel so well.  I feel pretty good as a whole for some reason, though.  It's like there's something wrong with the surface of me.  I felt affected by someone ... for some reason I channeled the thought with Helena Bonham Carter ... and I felt my face wasn't as plastered in a certain way that was bad, but I didn't keep the good way.

Hm, I just thought of book when my dad came in.  He left me a note, and I saw it.  I didn't want to go out, though...  I just bought 3 personality books.  What's his point?  I don't want to solidly feel indents in my brain, neither!  Why should I suffer his bloood?

I just realized something.

Don't get mad because there will always be a reason later, but I still deny certain things, feelings.  I do feel very irritated and am keeping to myself a lot, maybe because I'm an adult, now.

I think I can calm down.  I guess I just got excited.  However, when this happens, when I get better, people want to do me in some other way just to test me out.

Also, I'm going to the grocery store sometime soon.  They didn't even have sushi last time I was there, and that's my present diet.  D:  It's been a week!  I didn't go!  I've been having stuff that's not godo for me and didn't have my vitamins.  I can last because I don't make it out much and keep to myself.  I can't imagine people who lead lifestyles that are unrestful.

My Worth

I realized I was worth something and that people are mistaken to think I am worse than them and to mingle that idea with maybe that means I'm not good enough for someone else.

Not Ready

What do you think of the generations who aren't ready to have kids?  It seems I can be an adult but not have kids.

Do I plan to have kids?  Well, I guess as my parent generation gets older.  The kids?  Well, unm, they'll probably have kids, too.

Ellen should have been able to have kids.

Something Funny

So, I was walking a week or so ago, and there was this guym not too weighted down but still substantial... and he said or seemed to like allude to that he was a lean 2-footed dinosaur running in a heard because of the hype over the Ellen ride at Epcot.

I just watched her on Jay Leno, and it was so funny when they toasted at the end that like the goal right now is to be like it was when Titanic came out and that Ellen was the prime suspect against it, since she's from the New Orleans area and not somewhere like L.A., east coast Florida, or maybe NYC.

Also, I know I moved then and Britney Spears became popular.  I was 12.  The clothes were all wrong!  Nothing at all to wear!  I got short and fat and was tall and somewhat thin before.

Also, what's up with the idea that like for instance Helena Bonham Carter is more like Tim Burton than me because they have kids together but aren't married and Ellen DeGeneres is married to a girl but doesn't have kids?

Cont.

Because I've just mostly been in my room on the internet posting about Tim Burton these past 5 years, most of which were pointless and miserable and locked up, so-to-speak.

I've had a very active life before.  I'm very cultured intellectually|technically.  I moved to a few places but only lived with my family in 2 states.

Uncomfortable

I wonder if I'm pretty uncomfortable around certain kinds of people... like Jay Leno.  }:)

American

When did I say that in practicing the American culture that I'm not that European|real????

Oh, so, like, people with older moms can beat me up?  The ones around my age.

Ellen DeGeneres

Ellen DeGeneres and a Baby - Well, no...

On the "Jay Leno Show," she was going to have a baby now, supposedly, but she looked a lot older when she was on it.  I know when I hear that people like her are having a baby I get upset because I know my life will change forever.


People With Dark Skin

I noticed that it depends on your race, like they expect certain races not to be as fair.  They'll really go in and attack you for it.


The Generation of My Parents

My mom is not born early in the 50s!  I cannot change what I like and what I am able to do.

Changing Like People From Other Places That You Know

My face got bigger when I admired a girl who moved to Florida from L.A.  I noticed an actress from England who was rather nonchalant, rather unobtrusive, you might say, had a big face, as well.  She didn't look especially like overly forward like a lot of people and had a more detailed face.  It's hard to describe.  It seems people from England have changed with the world, obviously, duh.

Cali

California is nice because it is rocky and has the breezy ocean.  I guess it's nice to have the water and chill rushing on you.

The places below the Great Lakes are cold, as well.

When You Don't Think You Deserve Something

It seems that's when you do things.

I posted online about Tim Burton and Johnny Depp after I got kicked out of Music Education and Singing Lessons in college.

Voucher

Why would my dad voucher his race being promoted but not his daughter's?

Failure

Why do we have to go public in order to get the public to change its mind's eye and then tell us we are a failure?

Jimmy Fallon

How is Jimmy Fallon not it?

My Mom's Dream

She wanted an easy kid.  She wanted a smart girl with black hair.  She wanted me to be the big sister and not feel any desire.  She kept a close watch on my attitude as I progressed as a toddler and young child.

Not Messing People Up

I guess you just hope that someone will not mess someone else up for you.

When Your Hair Was Blonde

It seems you can only have certain experiences if your hair was blonde at a certain time.

Racial Stereotypes

Did you realize that people are all stereotyping their race a lot like to say like they don't like the extremes of another or to showcase some extreme in feeling?

Not Gung-Ho?

So, why does everyone listen to some people?

Am I incorrect in thinking I just saw people make fun of people from California and Florida thinking they aren't gung-ho?

Might I add it even overrides fascination of a long time over people born around 1960 rather to liking those born to older parents who are young adults today?

Public Service Announcement

Please stop the inclinations to send messages to do with Helena Bonham Carter attacking my sanity, well-being, and home life, which means the people I know, right now especially my immediate family.

You know, recently, she's identified herself with Tim Burton more, like tried to feel more that like when someone does something to him it affects her but that it's in some way where I owe her something, you know?  Like, I did something I wasn't supposed to in that arena and she's getting back rubbing in that feeling just to me.
TV Show

Apology to Johnny Depp

I almost said something bad about him, but since it's the internet I didn't.  I was saying those things about other people and thought he almost killed me, but I guess he didn't.  :|

I took down the 2 pictures of my cousin.

Tim Burton

Just shock him because he keeps shocking everyone else.

Ellen DeGeneres

I wish she would quit like ruining other people's lives like seeming to complain about her family.  If she ruins other people's lives, we have to bring it up.

Leave my family alone!

They like to hurt me because they don't know what to do, and I don't think they're supposed to be messing around with other white people, anymore, now.

Red Alert!

My life is being overtaken worthlessly for my aunt, things are being molested and removed because of the convulsions she has caused me over my life.

D:{

I don't care about you!!!

I don't want to have to worry about someone else getting hurt or molested by your stupid thoughts.

Let's peak your existence with something minor.

I don't want to be engulfed by your perverted attention, and you don't deserve to "have" me.

Violence

I'm pretty sure it was bored into me thoughts of violence by others, but I never approved of this silliness, myself.

Homewreckers..

What do you think of people who never have to answer to others and come into your own home?

Also, I don't really want things to come up to my future family in ways it doesn't with others nor not to have what I have earned and what every person deserves.  Don't try to twist what I'm saying into something that's untrue!  D:{

On the Lookout

I feel haunted that thoughts will be bored into my head, like they could come up with my future daughter, son, husband, friends, etc.

"So, get this, people..."

If I go in convulsions or feel haunted, I will curse and be violent in my head.  I will try not to, but I don't know what to do about what just happened.  It was so sudden, and I had such a bad week.  Why don't I just remember that things will be okay?  I feel calmer now, posting online.  :|

Riddle

At the bottom: riddle.

"Why do animals like to sleep on house surfaces?  Mainly cats and dogs.  Because they don't want to get down.  -incited by Ellen DeGeneres​"

Hmph

What a lazy, clunky group of ingrates.  Bring up your parents's generation to hurt kids when you're feeling selfish and drunk about yourself.  Claim you sacrificed for them and then *beep* them!

Thoughts

I think the stomach of the female is like something to treasure.  It should not be like secluded out in a bad way, which is not very keen or something...

Also, I don't like the way Tim Burton has spread around the traits of certain people: Winona Ryder who is part Romanian Jewish, Helena Bonham Carter who is very Jewish, Chloe Moretz who seems to have issues with the Baby Boomer generation, and not sure if there's more right now.  Well, how about the case of Johnny Depp?  Tim Burton seems offended when you do crave affection from him.

What's wrong with Ellen DeGeneres?  Is she like changing all the time, like changing colors?  I mean, like, she does something because she has to like because it's what someone else does and she has the God-given right over others.  Then, she's sorry she did it.  Like, I get certain vibes from her that she might not know about.

Also, I really would like to fight people but know I would get in trouble.  I wonder if they would fight back.  I forgot to describe a dream.  I was fighting someone from martial arts.  Also, I was with some kids in a class with a TV and a form of Ellen DeGeneres was there and I was getting all antsy and scooted up.  People noticed.  I wasn't really feeling good at the time.

I dunno, I tried to get the thought of *beep* people out.  I know I don't mean it, but some people are up to me in water or something.  It just comes to my mind because I'm so totally irritated and engulfed, engulfed in a bad way but partly a good way, maybe I'm pretty sure from not having the right food for a week.

I'm worried because it seems I will never have anyone to talk to.  It's like I'm not gonna make it.

I don't really want to hurt anyone.  I've been too nice and feel aroused and can't contain myself.  I'm paranoid about people boring in on me the fact that others are in convulsions in some dimension...

My Aunt

I just left Facebook.  I kept getting visions of her spinning a boy out of control, like a little mass of lines.  Well, I got a new Facebook.  Like I said in a past blog, she seemed to deny the validity of my future daughter|kids and already my brother's future daughter.  It was because my dad overreacted to his being mean to my brother when he got mad at him at Epcot.  I even mentioned it and, as usual, the niggers ignored me.  (Niggers, yes, they treated me like a nigger...  This is constant, consumes my life for no reason.)

Dream

I don't remember my first dream but wish I did.

It seems I've been eating too much.  I feel a bit lunky, unsure what happened.

So, my 2nd dream, I remember I was with an old teacher.  She positioned her arm, from a distance, as though it was around my shoulder but hanging down, because it wouldn't be like perfect if she really did it.  I was with her awhile, walking and in a classroom, and it was pleasant and made me feel good.

I guess the next part was horrific.  There was more to this dream I don't remember.  What happened next was there was a somewhat attractive lady, a little heavy but shapely, with fluffy brown hair, who waltzed into the room to some music, like swaying her hips back and forth.  She was dancing with a lady in place of someone else and looked different, tilted her head back and like had her mouth open and died, maybe having a gooey mouth.  When I came in, it was about how she died.  That was the last of my dream.

I remember the 1st one now.  I was in the back seat of the car with 2 people at my side.  In the front was someone paying attention to me who stimulated me in a good, kinda sharp way.

Some things have been bothering me.  I keep hearing these little usually other worldly sounds that sound like annoyed sounds of Kate Bush because I called somenoe the n word.  I hear cars roar by.  I keep feeling alluded to the word "explode," "pop," and "bomb," in relation to my egg sacks.  I can't stand these little noises constantly bugging me and could make me kill myself.  This happened in college.