Tuesday, November 2, 2010
I just had a weird thought...
...not to take Theater so seriously with film because it seems too hard. Film is something you have to earn. I wonder if I will go to school at all. I wanna work so I can buy stuff and am apprehensive about the bus and getting up. Ballet might be okay, but I just wanna be a real person for now. They just repeat easy things.
I might do theater, and I might do ballet. I don't know what will determine, though I really wanna work and get some money. I am worried about the work schedule, too. I don't feel good enough yet, neither. I wonder if I will clean out these little shelves from the garage and where I can put them!
I saw a slimy blackish snake again by our door area slipping away thru the grass.
I do like my dyed hair, too, but am saving money for the DVDs and think this might be enough. I want a specialist to do it maybe.
Masturbation
Masturbation is when you want to watch porn and follow suit in real life. It's about sex and stimulating the genitals.
There is also the thing like you see English like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music when she sat on a pine cone.
There are feelings of dizziness that I don't have that are not unlike this.
I can still remember..
..that I was so lucky that this cute guy told the Talented Music teacher about me in drama club that I could play piano for the senior play my freshman year. The music instructor didn't really play all the notes. If she told me to do that I could have. I was stuck at the first page. The music teacher was different the next year, but she came back as a counselor my 3rd year and counseled me from a notification from my teacher, maybe the history teacher I had 2nd semester 1st year.
They did something very interesting, You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown. I went on YouTube and found prepubescents doing most of the things online it seemed. That's just to me so different. I don't know what it was, each person doing well at what they do most. Today young people either are very thin and underfed looking, a passing feeling I get, or they look half asleep|half alive. Sure, the glamor queen will have a certain look, but not everyone can be the glamor queen, unless you are saying everyone can be glamorous if they play their cards right.
Like, I miss where people looked semi-real. The 2nd year wasn't really so bad. I was the youngest in drama again, no freshman, though there were a lot of 16-year-old freshman.
Like, it's hard to imagine why young people today have an over stereotypical shrink look, where they are thin but with little substance. I was never of little substance in my inclinations and things I hold as important. I wouldn't mind saying that about myself, but it's not true. I remember seeing little kids and wonder how to this day they look. I never had many attractive blondes in my class, so I don't know.
Well, Halloween is over. Is it just me or does class of 01 have a thing with Halloween? It was so neat they did up the halls so fancy maybe slightly of a scary effect of Halloween. Well, I was in student council the 1st semester of my 3rd year. I was a junior class rep. I was gonna be sec of French, but I got in Spanish. Gifted was okay, but what is most important is getting on dance team or flag team or cheerleading. I still wish I did the flag team, though it would be a lot of work. If I can clean up my stuff, I may do stuff that's fun like that. My parents support me. If I work I can get more money. But, I also can live under their insurance until 26 according to Obama. I think he is the most attractive president. My dad likes the one who was killed, JFK? I read it was Camelot days with kids in the White House.
I should have run for class rep my first year, but I hear they got a good group. This girl who taught me swimming that summer started to treat me differently when I decided not to. My homeroom was student council which was also special ed.
I miss those days when you see the older more mature people. I am see in a way more mature but admirably of a good weight.
I don't have drinking problems. I even smoked to make sure I had something and wouldn't have to get drunk. I really just like water mostly though or maybe juice sometime for health and tea.
I also don't believe in masturbation so-to-speak yet have an interesting experience with this.
Considered Just Working
I feel too tired from all the strife at school.
I feel bad because I have split interests or talents with music|singing and visual arts, as well as my genuine interest in ballet, theater, and dance. People admit my art and piano are good.
Posting online is my favorite thing to do. In this area, the school, UCF, said we have to not do anything outside the theater major when we do it. I know theater takes dedication. I can only imagine what that means at the community college level here. I just fell in love with the computer. In high school, drama didn't take the same kind of sacrifice. I don't care about science club nor FBLA.
I almost have a problem giving up any of the 4 arts. What I really think is I'm very sick from my lifetime habits in school. Talented Theater was going to be fun, but I found it more interesting to change back to a Catholic school the next year. The teacher recommended my parents to NOCCA, but I only had one year left. People joke about film acting. I think about Audrey Hepburn or other people in movies who came from the theater major. Also, musical theater is a choice. I just know I wanna do one course at a time to start with in the summer or probably fall next year. I do miss teaching as a goal. I wanted a doctorate in music education, which you can go to grad school online for it.
Working would give me money to buy buy buy. I think that sounds honest and genuine. I just have some issues if I am to go in and act with people and feel short. I think I will wait until I feel better. I felt very bad trick-or-treating when I was like a midget fairy.
So, now I have to think about my physical well-being. I could do drama like this. What if I wanna go back to ballet? Not many people get famous with anything involving dance. I know I could solo but can't do many tricks like I'd like. Used to be I could have done this more seriously and not just for fun for me. I know this is something else I have to build on. Either way I greatly appreciate the arts.