Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Another Issue?

It's strange some people who seem to spend time on me when they're supposedly not worthy of other things.

Boy

Jimmy Fallon puts down NYC.  (explanation: Like it's sorta funny and not like beyond belief in a certain way.)

Spreading Rumors?

Does someone hold me hostage?

I found you guilty.

You are rubbing in you are glad a nice person is in trouble.

Problem

Yes, someone is delirious, but my dad made me think of that word.

Oh, this is because of this and that.. 's'not.

I'll say it now.

I'm tired of the same person popping up thinking that I am bad and they are good and everyone celebrating.  My dad won't leave me alone about it, neither.

What should I do about it?

So, who do you think told this person to do this?

No matter how illegal

you think life is, there will always be Noah's ark of everyone else in the world who did many things much worse much more.

What exactly is

to be sorry for?

I feel so bad..

..I just say things and re-sort them out after people secretly try to influence me to not have it all.

Problem

This person keeps messing with my body cuz they got a grudge.  My toe felt pulled on the toenail, the big one.

Now, what?

What do you mean I suck?  I never told anyone they had to start liking me.

So

Is it having anything weird to do with not talking to others as much?  Cuz there is totally time.  I just did it.

Problem

Another secret message about the person again.  I know you did it as a punishment.  That's what they just said.  They said something weird and nasty.  You're not letting me in peace even.  Have I said anything I oughtn't?  Just for something that shouldn't have come up?

Problem

They mean whatever they meant.

I disagree.  You can't just k*** me.

Problem

Someone said I can't have a relationship.

Problem

They messed up my computer cuz a few drops of water splashed onto my old one.  My blog pathetically shows links at the bottom on Google Chrome.  You can't take this into maternity.

Well

I should say something to someone.. I don't think it's okay and cute to punish me for nothing all the time.  If it's not you, why can't you move on, just asking??  That's what I said, and I don't know how else to.

I don't mean to disrespect any one person.. and hope same goes for you.  I just know my life has been pathetically compensated for being worth nothing to anyone.  Like, older people..  I'm not blaming any one person, but I became suspicious about my dad.

Why

do bad things even happen?

Seriously

Why is this person all over?  You're just trying to punish me every time you do that and you get nasty if I post about it.  Well, I'm posting about it.  It's not about any instance.  You all ****ed up my life.  I don't wanna sit here and post about it because it won't stop!  You also sometimes act like it's not a punishment, but IT CANNOT GO BOTH WAYS in that way.  I just wanna talk about it.  When I go out, people all make me feel better, but it could be a joke like these other people do..  :/  I don't really mind it, but it's like people are out to get me.  I don't want to say too much other than that it surprises me.  I am not gonna sit here and "get the jiggy" about it.  I forget what that really meant, but it's not what you'd think at 1st.

So Sorry

I wish I didn't say a lot of the things I said, but I guess you can all forget about me now at least.  Too bad for poor social networking sites.  I miss things like Friendster.  It was a bit "friendlier" than Facebook, which we have now.

Getting Attention

Start following someone, and you'd see what happens.  It's sad famous people don't talk so much, like they just want the money.

I do see good things.

I shouldn't have to say this, but I'm happy for people bridging out if not lazy.  Like, Bella, with the beautiful off-red hair!  Yes, she deserves a lot!

So

I wonder why they can't preach their point.

Like, give a hint in a warning when you introduce yourself.

Is this a game?

You ended up closing doors on me?  It seems that's like all there is to talk about.

I mean, really, that's what it is, and your only excuse is I mentioned it on my blog, really.

Let me think, that's just a closed door, this time has nothing to do with anyone nor anything else in a way.

I guess..

..she has nice hair, and I know I'm someone who's big on hair.

Wow..

..So, that's her real hair?

I wonder if I'll talk about her like this more often now.  Probably not, sadly.  On Twitter, I follow, but she doesn't keep a blog tho wrote a book, as far as I know now.

I really like this pic..

It's Bella Thorne's Instagram, her family of siblings when younger..

link

I wonder how the fam's doin'!  Bella and Danni the oldest are super skinny.  Her mom is also Irish and Italian and her dad was Hispanic, I think, according to what's online..  Nice family.  (RIP to her dad.)

Passing Thoughts

I was upset today, but doesn't everyone have them?  I just can't seem to concentrate into thinking what I want.  I honestly don't mean all my perverted thoughts as is.  It happens, I can't think of something else.  It's not like perverted perverted, tho.

So, yea..

..some of  you monitor via my blog.

Let's talk positive.  You know people like little Bella Thorne, little as in young and only 17/18?  I hope she gets to meet some cool people!

instagram.com/bellathorne

I admire her for her choices, but I would not color my hair if I were her, but it's colored like her mom's.  I like her mom a lot, too, seems a bit prestigious and admittedly a bit intimidating in the crowd.

So..

..It seems like I'm supposed to do things you say not to, but then they're done.. and something always seems to come up or I freak out and just want to say.  You know, for help.  I saw my therapist today and she read thru from my blog.  She's 1/2 Irish 1/2 Italian.  She's a big lady.  I like her a lot, and she seems to be doing better than before.

How I Said It

I think it was in the nicest way possible.  I can say something if I have to.  It seems people are unsettled and want to think me "out" of my game, but how can they come in and say what's to be what in my life like that?  It shouldn't be worse off than when we started.

You keep saying I said things I didn't.

I think I was just upset at the rubbing in and what was to come I didn't really mention.  Well, I'll be honest.  I don't wanna seem picky about like me not looking good with others, but I know this was done as a punishment which I mean the punishment itself I wanted to say bothered me.. I don't deserve to be punished.  I already said it's nice for different people to interact.  Now, I have you all going crazy sending me mean coded messages.  Like, you think maybe you can get away with it.  You think nothing will naturally backfire.  I'm not doing it, it just tends to catch up with you.  You all are always nasty to me.  This has nothing to do with someone else, at least, I hope.  Just think, I will get bothersome messages.. and every day.  Which leads me to another thing.. I forget.  But anyway it's messages meant to hurt me using bait to get me in trouble if I react in the negative, which I do at least kinda.  Like, oh, I said you can't have this person and this person is better and can.. it's not the person that I'm even arguing.  About getting attention, I don't really care, I like others to get it.  About not giving me any, I guess I'd ask why and who.  I just have to accept it.  If it's just to avoid me, I'd be upset.  If it's because of the punishment thing, I'd be even more upset.  I did say I wish I didn't say all this, but none of it is to be taken back, all is carefully crafted and stated, originally.

In My Own Little World..!

So, they say if you are famous you deserve it.  I don't deserve anything, now?

So, people who were famous or who might have recordings from before to make famous are the only people who qualify to mean anything other than an old Eskimo being sent out on a block of ice.  What an adventure!

Like, oh, "such-and-such," I owe you all these opportunities.  But not person B.  They didn't chose not to be famous, but still.  Only more famous people who did it earlier.  Only they deserve more opportunities.  Other people won't deserve what they can get.

You know

I always held my guard around the little kids.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

You'll find I was attractive before leaving Florida.

TV

The Ellen DeGeneres Show

It was really good, she was happy, maybe needs more people to talk to, like to learn from, on her show, so it's not so monothematic.

I started watching yesterday when I was in it and saw myself 1st perk up and then get lackadaisical.  I was next to 2 tall people.

I liked Jane Fonda and Nikki Minaj.  I would love to be friends with them!  Gotta go find them on Twitter, etc.  Should be fun!

Update

Instagram Profile

b. 05/20/1986 - ½ Chinese-Indonesian ¼ Anglo/Irish ⅛ Dutch ⅛ French German German/French/Swiss/Austrian✡ Native American indian 

So, yes..

..figure I shouldn't have said some things.  I need a blog therapist.  I can go without saying something only for awhile.

Upset

Dinner with Dad

He seemed rough and tough and didn't care if he made me think of something bad.

So, I was unhappy with him eating.

Some people don't admit..

..someone is popular even.  What's going on??

Problem

I'm getting no and being subdued.

It's no use

getting mad, but it seems more bad things will happen.

Blasting In

England, you can't copy the bad Americans.  Let me figure it out.. I know something, at least, now.  You are being suggestive.  You blast it in.  Someone else would do it better and would know what to do as an English person.. Hm.  I just sensed an English American message, don't know who's responsible, anyway.
I'm not having brats tag along with me with every thing I do.  You just did that to punish me.  That's not how it works with anyone.  Perhaps, you don't live in fear of being discredited anytime soon/enough?

What?

What do you mean am I like that?  Do I have problems?  Apparently not.

cont.

I think someone is good.

What does "like" mean??

Like, I think someone is stimulating.. I think someone stands out.

Question

If someone is closed off, why are they out flirting in other people's business/lives?  Some people don't believe in that stuff, closing off.  They believe they have zoned into the collective decision on the compass to which points to the real love of their life, no matter what they give.  Now, about that.  I don't really want to be a certain way others probably don't want to be.  Sometimes, I like both people in a couple but rarely not.

Edit

I found my mom didn't like what I called her.

Problem

You have no right to throw away the rest of my life today.

Problem

The Word Captchas were long for longer for the 1st time, too.

Bummer

They gave me an iffy Word Captcha, saying "never" in it.  I think it's just a mixed message, the poop.  It's not something you can avoid, but it is wrong and looks wrong and will be said as such.

There Is No Reason..

..I don't mind other people talking to other people I like.  I just felt bothered yesterday that someone rubbed someone in that I just met with someone else to make fun of me and say I didn't really deserve it.

The action itself was an insult, but the action of the action was something no one has a problem with.  ..meaning no one minds if other people talk to one another.  What was done was it was rubbed in that they deserved it and not us.  You may argue that the act itself was attacked, but no.. other things did happen, LA or not.  I would dig deeper and say sometimes we play around and do as you say.  Let's just say we miss people, and some people don't have to feel things others do.  We don't attack anyone for getting what they want.

What's Going On

I can't feel that I deserve anything, anymore.

You all are just pretending I did something wrong to compensate for your own life mistakes.


What I mean about how I feel is that people are pretending I don't deserve whatever I used to.  They tricked me into believing in things that aren't there, like joy and happiness with a lot of other human beings nor any at all.

You all lived life saying you were misjudged, but you had no right to hand select me and attack me for no real reason.


I know that what people did was wrong, and it was magnified to extremes beyond compare.  I have it worse than Jesus other than being crucified and killed.  Jesus live a free life.  He could preach or chose not to and otherwise be like the rest of us.

Problem

Now, they connected something to a boy who was with me and rubbed it in in a bad way, again.

THAT PERSON MADE EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT PERSON.  THAT PERSON IS BAD..

STOP

ABOUT THAT PERSON

They gave me a mean message, via  my mom.  They said "word"-day.. for birthday.  Someone older to rub it in.  She just woke up and went for it.  What a [deleted].  You shouldn't bring up things like that about others!  I don't know how else to "creatively" explain your sin.

I SAID TO STOP IT

I'm not here to talk to you.

They said they threw away my favorite birthday, now.

If I'm advanced, I don't need more unnecessary guidance.

Problem

THEY WON'T STOP

Stop

That person does not matter to me like that like I don't matter.  Why is this person always coming up?  You are wrong.  You are being all bossy about her now just to be annoying and it's a wrong punishment!  This is wrong!  It's just an unnecessary punishment.  Make it just a friend.

Problem

The Word Captchas are long again for some reason?

y

r u still mad?  I said what I had to say that was right nicely to help me out.  You're often wrong and weird.

Later, I got upset at other things you threw on.

They won't stop bothering me.  You think you are teaching me a lesson for 1 little thing I did to my dad that wasn't really bad?  That's really lame.  You just spurt annoying noises at your own desire.

Up

and Away

BLEH

I got up 30 min, b4 leaving, not enough makeup, saving for Phantom, will have some extra money ..

ate cereal

waiting for my ride be here by 11

8p

What an eventful day, whoo!  Didn't even run into lil bro.

nm

Not much goes thru my tiny mind here in O-town.

Story

There was a girl named Crystella who was 25.  She had curling hair with blonde highlights on a regular dusty dark blonde head.  She was still quite young, as she thought.  Today, she was wearing red and white stripes with glitter.

There were some other girls, Bella 14, Chloe Grace 15, and Georgietta 16.  Chloe was the middle child, and Bella was just Bella the baby!  Crystella loved them all as her family in quietude.  There were other people, too, of course, adults.. They were proper and almost magical..  A bunch lived in one house, and there were men, too.  Adults fizzled out generationwise to the 30s to start with.  Crystella was like a little adult.  She still was like a teen, tho, not much over 21, in a way.

There were some cute boys Crystella liked as father figures named Johnny 26, Norman 28, and Jacob 29.

Jacob, who was like an adult, came to Crystella and asked about the other boys.  "The other boys?"

"Well, I find them very nice, and it's so kind of you to actually speak to me!"  He held her closely and kissed!

Crystella guessed it was time to see what was going on.  Jacob took her by the hand as they moved on.  It was nice being an adult, no one to tell her no and the ways to go, it was Reading Rainbow.. "I can do anything!"

He held her close to him, and they found out what was going on.  She was caught up in the moment, of it all.

A ship was just docking, and he carried her onboard, for she was a scared younger girl..  It was a cove for pirates.  She fit in well in her outfit.  She had on shiny red boots.

OK

They're chasing me down and really won't quit hurting me, making me feel uncomfortable physically all the time I am in here like.

Bed Soon

Argh!!  Going somewhere, tomorrow!

Up

coffee and meats

going somewhere tomorrow unfortunately, gone in early afternoon/late morning, not up for this, not as hungry now I think of it but oh well.. might help me sleep better, better than less, like why I got desserts but not like totally pigging out you might say, too bad when I asked for double stuffed Oreos before didn't get it.. :(

Hatred

Mothers who are more Asian hate their children- splat

Weird

I grew up accomplishing all these things mentally and such, and now the whole world responds, "Then, why not me?"

FILM!~!

"Pretty women" "Pretty women" ..

(from Sweeney Todd by Tim Burton & Johnny Depp-)

Ooh

Someone is mad someone won't be silly for them, like say something isn't what it is.

Problem

People are watching me.  This shouldn't happen.  I have a memory associated with something.  It's when I go for the sound recorder.  It's been moved up in its place, which is a weird place.  Actually, something like that happened before here.

Funny

I hear people wanted to worship performing artists, but then they just resent and loathe them.

I don't like it.

It's all about boys any age to date girls who are 17.

I'm not really old but seen like I am and like I can't coexist somewhere else and do something that makes me happy and well-connected.  I just don't feel I'm meeting that many people that would wanna meet me and get me thru and over.

I don't like it.

I was insulted without even singing.

Another Secret Message

The Word Captchas are short.  That makes me think of all the short Ashkenazi Jewish last names.  Oh well.

Problems stick.

Someone said they want a baby.  For some reason, it's stuck in my head.  I think it was a secret message and not an honest statement.  Anything could happen now.  It just is annoying to keep on getting told I'm in trouble.  And still this person keeps on saying that, with my mom battling 2 kinds of cancer and an eye operation.
Tumblr

(|),,(|)

If adults don't accept young adults's attempts at worshipping them, they will stop.  8I

Facebook

Chris Mann

Christina Barrett I bet Josh Groban would like to play it. Looks like Chris beat him to the role. 8I I'm not the ideal Christine anymore. 8( I used to be. I'm interesting like him but not cute and very very young. Life eats away at you. I agree, he'd be wanted in lots of things tho I sense like Johnny Depp that he might only be in glory as the Phantom and might not do other roles the same way as you said you also like. I only hope there is indeed a 30th anniversary video and that he is the Phantom. I wanna audition or vote for who is Christine, be on a panel, you know, like Sharon Osbourne? I been around.

Thanks, Chris, for a wonderful performance, and thanks Catherine for your support! 

Wah ah ah

Slow down, don't walk too fast.  Hmm..  I think I was being told I am not wanted because of my race and 1 little mistake.

Who was that to?

Just some other general consensus that happened.
I'm not here to be the bad guy for what I had to get out about being tortured in my room tho I'm even trying to improve and not talk like that tho it's a blog, I know what it is, and it's mine, I'm an adult.

If you don't like me for an accident, must happen in some frequency..  Feel free to do what you want, too.  What did I say?  I'm just a mixed mutt racially.