I went to an event at Rollins College performed by 2 members of the Bach Festival Society. The conductor there said I could join the orchestra at Rollins College in the fall! I told him I only knew 3 keys. I don't even have to be an enrolled student to join, which I am not.
The event was a performance by 2 violinists who are married, a Chilean man and a Latvian woman. We had tea and scones with chocolate chips or berries. I had iced chai tea.
I talked to the violinist man after and he said 4 or 5 years I can be a good violinist.
I take violin lessons and learn things on my own, too. It's been like a month so far and "so far so good."
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
Depressed
I said bye to someone as far as wiring in saying they have to be mean to me goes, but they still made my life miserable and took another step in removing the person from my real life. I didn't mean bye for sure. I didn't write it. I was under pressure too much that I'd lose it anyway, but apparently they believe that I won't.
I just want to feel that my life is in order so I can rest and do things I need to do, like laundry and hopefully schooling..again! Even just laying down to rest or leaving my room. I just feel all I've sacrificed gone to waste. I stopped watching The Ellen DeGeneres Show, maybe not good for me and so I could focus on not getting on the bad side of anything. I mean, my case is pretty legit. I don't go off and get a Disney pass right now so I can be more holistic and buy things I need and pay for violin.
I found someone I look up to, as anyone, gave my parents an agenda on how to be mean to me, bargaining with me with a possible lie that I will never escape this kind of life. Look, my intimidating mom is just waiting around the corner, too.
My parents are supposed to be sending me off to other people! This was not about me getting closer and closer to my family but to others I like a lot. Ever since I was in more trouble for no reason, they made their presence overly clear.
You know, I can't figure this out. I just wanted to feel at peace. Instead, I'm here doing this.
If I move away for college, I'll have General Studies courses to distract me.
I just want to feel that my life is in order so I can rest and do things I need to do, like laundry and hopefully schooling..again! Even just laying down to rest or leaving my room. I just feel all I've sacrificed gone to waste. I stopped watching The Ellen DeGeneres Show, maybe not good for me and so I could focus on not getting on the bad side of anything. I mean, my case is pretty legit. I don't go off and get a Disney pass right now so I can be more holistic and buy things I need and pay for violin.
I found someone I look up to, as anyone, gave my parents an agenda on how to be mean to me, bargaining with me with a possible lie that I will never escape this kind of life. Look, my intimidating mom is just waiting around the corner, too.
My parents are supposed to be sending me off to other people! This was not about me getting closer and closer to my family but to others I like a lot. Ever since I was in more trouble for no reason, they made their presence overly clear.
You know, I can't figure this out. I just wanted to feel at peace. Instead, I'm here doing this.
If I move away for college, I'll have General Studies courses to distract me.
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