Going to Bed?

I'm apprehensive about waiting to see the outcome from others of me being pressed full to the brim in frustration in private.  It was like life going on and off in me, what little there may be left.  I mean come on, it is a punching bag.  Sure I felt bad with other parts of my body some.

They are making threats about my relationships again and may not cap it off.

I'm most frustrated they continue to abuse me more if I post problems.  I just felt so made fun of.

I got my Dammit Doll out, too, with instructions to slam it and as the stuffing falls yell "dammit dammit dammit!"

Silly Rules

The people experimenting on me and spying on me in private are acting ridiculous to me.  They are set that if I get physically upset that my present relationship is detracted from.  I'm not the one with the problem!

They said someone I look up to was living in the moment against me.  I can sense more like this up their bag of tricks, meddling with my private life.

Thoughts

I'm not the one who bothered Bella Thorne.

I'm not trash because I'm born after Late Boom.

Relationship Radius

People don't come to people whose lives are messed up.

Pried Into

Ellen DeGeneres set for Bella Thorne to get involved in my most interpersonal relationships, like the world opening me up like they can do whatever they want.

I feel Bella Thorne is participating but doesn't get treated like she's in trouble as much as me, like I should be.

What is she doing?  She is getting into it for Ellen DeGeneres?  Is it some decision she made?  Why would it happen to involve me?  She isn't really that close to those people in a normal way.

Feeling a Little Depressed

I used my little punching bag.  I don't know how I would wind up to that level of behavior.

Change of Plan

I spiraled out of an old plan.  I know for now I will take violin lessons.  The college I want to go to if I move away requires a secondary instrument for 1 credit hour I think, which I would have as piano and instead of class piano.

Italian Beauties

(links: 1 2)



at least part German-American
(link)


English girl
(link)


Tis, tis, how teenagers and young adults turn out in white Caucasian people.  Like Latinos looking older as toddlers or young children, so did I look mature.  I wasn't lacking, so much, maybe an audience.

You know, my dad seems to have it out for me thinking my posting style is actually an offense and thinks it's shit that my bad side comes from him.  No, if he was that crass, he would need to shape up himself.  My beliefs are obviously right.  I guess I'm not a little twin of my parents.  My dad keeps revealing in how he acts around me all of a sudden that he thinks I think pervertedly of my peers.  I don't do bad things, but I read into them, things other people and their parents do in relation to one another.  It can be chosen as a sensitive thing for others, but apparently it's not.

So, too bad for those snotty white Caucasian teenagers who keep the world from living, having fun, and feeling in touch with their inner child.

The Tightest Racial Hostility

I was curious about the racial controversy between Italians and Chinese specifically.

Italian Girls

(links: 1 2 3)

part Asian part Caucasian girls

(links: 1 2 3 - 3 is 1/2 Italian)

It's a bit confusing trying to read about the history of places.

Italians and Hispanics are a little younger than part of China.  I think I read Jews were younger, maybe one of the youngest non-Negroid cultures.

I guess I sense the most hostility from Italians.  Most racial hostility is sent to Asians.

The Middle East I think is an old culture.

My Ambition

I would like to be an orchestral violinist.

The college I want to get a BM in has an MM in chamber music.  The place is very strong in period work from ancient times in odd ways.

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