Shower/Bathtime

then TV!!

Contacted Again

I got recontacted.  I submitted again!

Invite to Appear on Dr. Phil

as the interviewed person!  I just submitted my application.

Being Nifty With Relationships

I like my parents in the way I have, but I like other people, too.

Facebook - Dr. Phil

We like getting close to adults other than our parents.

Well, I was always well-behaved. My dad is a monster.

Tired

I feel cold and weak but technically stronger yet more and more tired.  I woke up in the middle of sleeping.

"Why all the hate?.."

Why hate on the less fortunate in some ways?

Well-Behaved Daughter

I am well-behaved to my dad, but don't push me to be too much closer emotionally but just to make him take the place of friends.  Same with anyone.

I found this odd.

So, you want me to get up to each day thinking whatever spurts from others is something someone said to me that's messed up?

I don't think I tried to get very mad, but I tossed/juggled the thought and tried to get it out of my mind.  I thought that was the original go' (goal.)

Some Fantasy/World

You all are creating some fantasy world that I'm bad.

Muscle Mass..

I gained muscle mass from the gym and jogging with weights.  I am 156 pounds.  My purpose in the gym is not to get tiny and frail but STRONG.

What I Think vs. What I "Feel"

I didn't do anything wrong.  I feel as though I have.

Know what, know what, huh, huh??

Know what I'm not gonna do?  I'm not gonna change how I think when I blog in private cuz someone made someone interact with me secretly all the time.

Not gonna be like ooh I must be all neat because so and so says so.  I blog on my own.

Explanations

No, I'm not gonna sit here and let what I say fly like if I say something else it will ruin it.

I can't even say I don't mean what you think.  What'd I do?  I just didn't say yes to something that wasn't true or wasn't nice.  I don't think I barely done anything.  Sparks fly.

Issue

I'm tired of people telling me all of a sudden look what a bad girl I am.  School is my prerogative if I failed, and I had a reason.

Like they say look how bad Christina is all of a sudden, never heard of that before!  Look how tacky she is to experience emotions for others.  You all are so wrapped up in yourselves you have no prerogative all the while hardly tapping on discussing emotions!

I know it's wrong.

They keep acting offended.  Why isn't my life made up of other things/secluding things like this?  Like before.  Why are all these other people so famous and think they're better than me?

I never did anything.

They started the fighting back and forth.

Upset

It just comes out, without doing anything, I swear.

I'm tired of people hating on me for my dad or someone else.

Sore Arms

jogging with weights, 2 pounds for about an hour

A ... wake!

I woke up @ 11:40.

I ate my breakfast:
2 medium-rare bacon strips
a bowl of grits with butter
2 English muffin halves with butter
3 scrambled eggs

I cooked supper in about 1 hour and 20 minutes and still heating and need to do the noodles.  It's beef chopped up with bacon, mushrooms, flour, red wine.. and fettucini.  From some health book.  I increased everything other than the beef.

Nite Soon

Sad teens are so withdrawn in public.

I just had soup and crackers.  (potatos/chicken canned + Trisciuts)

New Recording of Me Singing

Ellen

Jennifer Anniston was so hot!  Her skin was radiant!  It was like red and tan.  She is such a sweet person.  I like her a lot.

The 3rd grade teacher was so adamant and nice!  I admired her greatly.

The Japanese guitarist and singer was so awesome and looked pretty white.  Japanese and Koreans want to be seen as Caucasian, and they are essentially yet something like Irish.

Ellen was cool today.  She seemed cool with the audience.

Dr. Phil's sho'

I am fortunate to be able to write these summaries in my off musings.

I found this girl to be adamant but seemed to feel a bit empty, like an emptiness one get in one's eyes who yearn for emotion and a world of being popular and accepted by one and by all.

More.. It makes me think of myself.  It makes me think of a lotta things that would take 'while to load.  Er whatever.  Load!  Ha ha!  I think people think we all need guidance from a psychologist.  I don't know what I think about the meds.

His book sounds sweet.  I'd like to buy it.  I could get it on my Nook.  Wait, it's not there.  I didn't see it at B&N.

I feel I don't deserve much, like enjoying these shows.  They are so good and available.  Why don't people come to me?  I'm like always online or out getting in shape!  People need to learn to trust more people.  They need to remember to enjoy life.  To not think badly when they can.

You know, when I was in community college, I could not stand the way people were acting towards me sometimes but like they weren't doing it.  I ran out when the teacher started and told people.  She told me to stay.  Once, I got so mad I kicked 2 boys's chairs, tho it seemed like natural.  Not proud of this.  I used to get snotty in public..  I guess I can't say I blame the teacher's and students's having an attitude and bothering me in how they act.  Sometimes, they are real sweet.  Now, I'm on meds which cripple my freedom, along with a curfew.  My mom decided I take meds or else I get kicked out when I tried to leave and she said I wasn't ready, almost got a job in Miami I think as a secretary.  I said we don't have money.  They think I will be dangerous and just want me subdued, like under a tranquilizer.

I feel bad now about how I used to curse about whoever put noises in my room.. they did bother me.

I feel that I was loved too much.  People think I am sheltered.  Others are spoiled brats.  There's 2 ways, apparently.  I mean, my dad even believes he gave me the good parts of my voice.  I wonder.  People in the end may sputter I never did anything.  It would be nice if others got this gift.

I don't know.  On this sho', I think I said as much as I need to say..