The Ellen DeGeneres Show
The hilite today was Meryl Streep, Anna Kendrick, and a British girl. Anna Kendrick is a year older than me. I feel a sense of motherliness that suffices for being from her and a sense I wanna be on top, too. I love Meryl Streep and am so sorry I said she was racist. I mean, people should talk about it, but it shouldn't be like that. I think like everyone is racist, so that's not the best thing to plaque up there. I'm also worried, hope with Ellen that she got the ultimate experience, which I suppose she's busy looking for. Other than my mom, who has such a hard life, she is my favorite person, maybe after Dad and not sure how much my brother has anything to do with me. I dunno about relatives. They just aren't in my life how I'd like. I have my own life with the public and friends, too, I mean. It's nice that Ellen is just a person who goes on TV and has her own life whatever she wants. The world must really be a hard place to connect in. I hope she gets to talk to people, too..
I loved seeing Anna Kendrick but also Meryl Streep, whom I must greatly accept and vie for. Lotta people out there like that you gotta vie for, I know. Meryl is probably special in ways I do not know enough about. I think there is more there. I keep learning more about her and myself seeing people like her, like Julia Roberts! whom I also love! I saw her in a movie and she was so cute, think it was her..
Ellen seems to be doing well, and I hope she is looking forward to a wonderful Christmas, tho it's none of my business. Portia is so regal. I do not know why her head seems so big. Mine did next to Chris Mann, too. So, anyway, Portia knows what's right, right? She'll have a good Christmas with her wife? I am wondering about the parties Ellen attends. Guess someone from Australia is appropriate yet seems inhibited. I'm still a party. I'm not saying I think about marrying Ellen. I just am saying I'd be a blast compared to Portia, in that she is all prim and proper and not really that American. I'm only 1/2 American, so maybe not. Americans all store up things and wait for their turns, it seems. I mostly want to sing and I know I can. I would like to meet or know Ellen but with plenty of others . Maybe, she's quiet, tho. Then, no.
So, it was also cute seeing the girls win. They were so happy! Well, 1 girl, in musical chairs.
I am perfectly happy watching people on TV, but I usually am used to being around people in hi, uptite situations. They aren't exactly Ellen DeGeneres or like Jimmy Fallon. I only see my upset dad and now sick mom. An aunt who looked tired like my mom, aunt-in-law, great, died. It just makes me so sad. :(* I told my mom she was my favorite person, but I mean I get *** outside of my family. She's the one who doesn't touch me. My dad is always crawling around me. Musta done something when I was a baby. Ellen showed a baby on her show, today.. :) It was so cute!.. I saw the dad was young. 1 thing I know is I would want 1 of those fake babies. The thing I know is that you have to be in good shape and good looking yourself if you want a good baby. So I think. Something people forget. So.. I mean, if I were famous and enticed people more myself, maybe people like Meryl Streep would come to me. Young kids tend to cheer you up if you love them, too.
Monday, December 22, 2014
Bored Into My Mind
My dad was singing "Michael Row the Boat Ashore" and it stuck in my head, bored in! And I don't know when I'll hear it again. They won't leave me the Hell alone. It could come up at anything. Probably something I did he didn't like, like threw the door a little too hard closed, stupid door! No one gives a care!! You shouldn't be up and m*****ing me. I have a freedom to say what happens to me here.
Going for A
jog! :D The fun to myself, but the meneur is infiltrated all-over Orlando. I'm sorry, is that offensive to innocent people? Okay, so you answer to people for whatever reason. Erm..
More Thoughts
I wanted to be involved in film. Singing seems to be a contest that a public outcast cannot win. In Sweeney Todd, the leads sang and the extras were probably pro singers.
I had some dessert, it both filled me with and made me feel somewhat depleted of energy. I didn't have breakfast cuz of waking up late. I wanna go for a jog. I wanna do this, wanna do that, yea.. I know when people are messing with me, tho, like with my iTunes, which I did not like iTunes. It was popular when I started going to online networking sites. I feel my life was worthless and blame my parents. They probably got me off thinking of the internet early on. I thought it was okay to wait, but that idea makes people crazy. I did get on, as I wanted, eventually. I had other things to do. I didn't know the world "needed" me.
I'm rather sorry to some they thought I was mad with. I dunno even if I was. I said I'd not listen to anyone, but it seems that stopped. They are just playing with me to make me feel bad. I see some things were done against me. To please that which is bad. When my dad is unhappy, any adverse action is put into cycle. I should forget about it, and I kinda will after I post this. I will be bugged about it, tho. Think about it, tho, playing around breaking my computers? I didn't go crazy exactly but was upset I would not then have internet, just a cell phone, which could proceed to break. I want a job but can't seem to be able to stand it that long. I need a 2 hour at a time job that I do once or twice a week. I need to change my therapist to once a month rather than once every week or 2 she's available, if I work. I want to work at a daycare but don't look quite the part. My hair is damaged from the dye, and I guess I just need makeup. I don't know what else is keeping me from working. I want to be a singer. I wonder if the CD will work out. I need to be in good shape like an athlete.
A car outside just bothered me. How pathetic, really tho. It's just pathetic, I mean.
I know people will like me who have normal parents. My mom may seem more accomplished, but I know why. So, maybe she's not. My dad is an innocent man. People hate me for having 2 different kinds of parents. They just say I'm shit from my dad to be quick. '}:)
So, I am sorry but then again I was told I was innocent. What should I say to whom? I just talk in general. I was being hurt. I just said a simple upset message. I am sorry for being mean even to my parents in thought and deed. I still did it, trying to ignore, then I get more hate messages. Just feeding off the dumb trip to relatives who I never wanna know again. Well, would have been nice, but I don't wanna visit with Grams, cuz she is hurtful, changed my nose by rubbing a sofa, too. What can I do? She was smiling all happy.
What can I do to be in the right? Why is what I do picked on so ***ly like it has to be wrong? You want me to stop. Well, I wasn't being bad like you all said, to sum it up. You all think you can be bad and sloppy and I get in so much trouble for things I don't have to. What will happen next? Something else shocking or when I'm in discomfort? You even pretend someone nice did it. I don't give a f***.
There. I am sorry if anyone innocent is hurt, but I will try to mind my own business and solve problems maybe. That was my goal, ignore. What about the iTunes? This little computer is breaking? That just means I have to use the old one, which my dad was gonna throw out.. He's supposed to get it fixed by someone we know zapping in and doing it..
I guess no one will forgive me. I will have to live to myself. He he, my iTunes broke, doesn't make me mad, ehehe, it was only a new computer. Actually, I got it to work after awhile. I'm still mad about it. Who to blame? Other people like the experimenters and this one mad person. :/
Sorry if I "did anything." Or was too quick to act. I mean, who knows, I probably don't need a computer. The old one breaks after like 15 minutes.
I wonder if I can stay away from all this. I'm gonna go see if iTunes works somehow without waiting so long..
I had some dessert, it both filled me with and made me feel somewhat depleted of energy. I didn't have breakfast cuz of waking up late. I wanna go for a jog. I wanna do this, wanna do that, yea.. I know when people are messing with me, tho, like with my iTunes, which I did not like iTunes. It was popular when I started going to online networking sites. I feel my life was worthless and blame my parents. They probably got me off thinking of the internet early on. I thought it was okay to wait, but that idea makes people crazy. I did get on, as I wanted, eventually. I had other things to do. I didn't know the world "needed" me.
I'm rather sorry to some they thought I was mad with. I dunno even if I was. I said I'd not listen to anyone, but it seems that stopped. They are just playing with me to make me feel bad. I see some things were done against me. To please that which is bad. When my dad is unhappy, any adverse action is put into cycle. I should forget about it, and I kinda will after I post this. I will be bugged about it, tho. Think about it, tho, playing around breaking my computers? I didn't go crazy exactly but was upset I would not then have internet, just a cell phone, which could proceed to break. I want a job but can't seem to be able to stand it that long. I need a 2 hour at a time job that I do once or twice a week. I need to change my therapist to once a month rather than once every week or 2 she's available, if I work. I want to work at a daycare but don't look quite the part. My hair is damaged from the dye, and I guess I just need makeup. I don't know what else is keeping me from working. I want to be a singer. I wonder if the CD will work out. I need to be in good shape like an athlete.
A car outside just bothered me. How pathetic, really tho. It's just pathetic, I mean.
I know people will like me who have normal parents. My mom may seem more accomplished, but I know why. So, maybe she's not. My dad is an innocent man. People hate me for having 2 different kinds of parents. They just say I'm shit from my dad to be quick. '}:)
So, I am sorry but then again I was told I was innocent. What should I say to whom? I just talk in general. I was being hurt. I just said a simple upset message. I am sorry for being mean even to my parents in thought and deed. I still did it, trying to ignore, then I get more hate messages. Just feeding off the dumb trip to relatives who I never wanna know again. Well, would have been nice, but I don't wanna visit with Grams, cuz she is hurtful, changed my nose by rubbing a sofa, too. What can I do? She was smiling all happy.
What can I do to be in the right? Why is what I do picked on so ***ly like it has to be wrong? You want me to stop. Well, I wasn't being bad like you all said, to sum it up. You all think you can be bad and sloppy and I get in so much trouble for things I don't have to. What will happen next? Something else shocking or when I'm in discomfort? You even pretend someone nice did it. I don't give a f***.
There. I am sorry if anyone innocent is hurt, but I will try to mind my own business and solve problems maybe. That was my goal, ignore. What about the iTunes? This little computer is breaking? That just means I have to use the old one, which my dad was gonna throw out.. He's supposed to get it fixed by someone we know zapping in and doing it..
I guess no one will forgive me. I will have to live to myself. He he, my iTunes broke, doesn't make me mad, ehehe, it was only a new computer. Actually, I got it to work after awhile. I'm still mad about it. Who to blame? Other people like the experimenters and this one mad person. :/
Sorry if I "did anything." Or was too quick to act. I mean, who knows, I probably don't need a computer. The old one breaks after like 15 minutes.
I wonder if I can stay away from all this. I'm gonna go see if iTunes works somehow without waiting so long..
Who was that for?
Only a soft person would keep asking me about that.
I'm not as young as you all act like I am, anymore.
Here's a message directed to someone: people experimenting on me are f***ing me with and I don't wanna talk.
To others: I'm a simple person in many ways. I don't accept anyone latching onto this experiment and being mean to me.
To specific others? I don't really wanna fight but will have to somehow slowly back off, don't want them listening to mean messages and orders from others.
Stop acting like my relationships need to be altered.
You are so h***y and gonna make me so h***y if you don't quit acting up about things. I should have been in college and gotten a bachelor's degree. I wonder if I'll graduate in 3 years, but I don't know how long general studies is. I don't even know what to go for, I wanna make a CD now but think no one'll care.
I'm not as young as you all act like I am, anymore.
Here's a message directed to someone: people experimenting on me are f***ing me with and I don't wanna talk.
To others: I'm a simple person in many ways. I don't accept anyone latching onto this experiment and being mean to me.
To specific others? I don't really wanna fight but will have to somehow slowly back off, don't want them listening to mean messages and orders from others.
Stop acting like my relationships need to be altered.
You are so h***y and gonna make me so h***y if you don't quit acting up about things. I should have been in college and gotten a bachelor's degree. I wonder if I'll graduate in 3 years, but I don't know how long general studies is. I don't even know what to go for, I wanna make a CD now but think no one'll care.
I'm so sorry
I should not have been upset at anyone, but my dad distracts me. Wah! I guess people, still, all went crazy cuza Depp.
I wasn't even on their page.
Just wanted to check my Twitter feed for the rest, as they'd been out. Are they at supper?
Story
There was a girl named YeLisa. She was wearing a nice yellow and white checkered dress with a white blouse under, white long sock-ings, yellow shoes. Her light golden curly hair flew about her face in the wind..
She had 2 older friends and 3 younger friends. The older 2 were male and female, 30s and 40s respectively. They also had lots of friends they were with a lot. The younger ones were all girls. 1 with beautiful red hair, 1 with hilights, and a cute 1 with black hair.
YeLisa walked by the water, watching her younger friends, who were wrapped up about themselves and barely noticed her.
She walked away and ran into the boy. He wrapped his arms around her and held her closely and walked with her holding her a long time from the love he harbored for her vivacious personality..
When she reached the end of the harbor, he went back to care for each of her 3 younger friends. He picked up the one with white hilights, and the other 2 sisters he also interacted with. The 2 girls trotted along next to him..
YeLisa's lady friend showed up, and she ran to give her a hug in all the excitement and she wrapped her arms around her very lovingly.. The world runs on love, you know that? My dad always said I'uz lazy (I was lazy.) She picked her up, and she felt tired and settled but with her always onto something in her mind, some feeling.
Lots of people were at the other end of the harbor. A pirate boat showed up. YeLisa, still being held while she sat, looked over and was surprised. She said she was a pirate for some reason! There was room enough for them in the pirate ship. The others would go on a liner.
YeLisa went to swab the deck with the maties. They had a lovely assortment of seafood, that which vegans around must solely loathe. Also was fresh fruit, very juicy for some reason! YeLisa's older lady friend said it was about time she went into bed. She trotted off and tucked herself in and dreamed of being a glorious pirate dancing around in piratey dresses of red and gold and other colors.
They were patient on the boats and finally reached another land. They went from Holland to the creepy Norway to the north. They stayed in warm homes and had to dress up warm to go outside. YeLisa began to cry, and the lady friend held her/picked her up. She knew she was older and was still happy. She cried every night missing the past. She was fed and still did the activities others did, like their necessary jazz dance. Of course, there were other important things, like some gymnastics, which she was pretty good at. She expressed and explored feelings by painting things. Her friend became her mom and took care of her and helped keep her other company. It was just such a depressing way of existing. She didn't even just missed home but missed other things too that made her unhappy.
She was happy as she still remained a support for her 3 younger girl friends who played with one another. They cooked and found fun and challenging activities.
She had a journal where she kept her private guilty feelings.. Her lady friend found it and asked if she could read it, and she helped her and elaborated just talking things out like people must have done in olden days.
She had 2 older friends and 3 younger friends. The older 2 were male and female, 30s and 40s respectively. They also had lots of friends they were with a lot. The younger ones were all girls. 1 with beautiful red hair, 1 with hilights, and a cute 1 with black hair.
YeLisa walked by the water, watching her younger friends, who were wrapped up about themselves and barely noticed her.
She walked away and ran into the boy. He wrapped his arms around her and held her closely and walked with her holding her a long time from the love he harbored for her vivacious personality..
When she reached the end of the harbor, he went back to care for each of her 3 younger friends. He picked up the one with white hilights, and the other 2 sisters he also interacted with. The 2 girls trotted along next to him..
YeLisa's lady friend showed up, and she ran to give her a hug in all the excitement and she wrapped her arms around her very lovingly.. The world runs on love, you know that? My dad always said I'uz lazy (I was lazy.) She picked her up, and she felt tired and settled but with her always onto something in her mind, some feeling.
Lots of people were at the other end of the harbor. A pirate boat showed up. YeLisa, still being held while she sat, looked over and was surprised. She said she was a pirate for some reason! There was room enough for them in the pirate ship. The others would go on a liner.
YeLisa went to swab the deck with the maties. They had a lovely assortment of seafood, that which vegans around must solely loathe. Also was fresh fruit, very juicy for some reason! YeLisa's older lady friend said it was about time she went into bed. She trotted off and tucked herself in and dreamed of being a glorious pirate dancing around in piratey dresses of red and gold and other colors.
They were patient on the boats and finally reached another land. They went from Holland to the creepy Norway to the north. They stayed in warm homes and had to dress up warm to go outside. YeLisa began to cry, and the lady friend held her/picked her up. She knew she was older and was still happy. She cried every night missing the past. She was fed and still did the activities others did, like their necessary jazz dance. Of course, there were other important things, like some gymnastics, which she was pretty good at. She expressed and explored feelings by painting things. Her friend became her mom and took care of her and helped keep her other company. It was just such a depressing way of existing. She didn't even just missed home but missed other things too that made her unhappy.
She was happy as she still remained a support for her 3 younger girl friends who played with one another. They cooked and found fun and challenging activities.
She had a journal where she kept her private guilty feelings.. Her lady friend found it and asked if she could read it, and she helped her and elaborated just talking things out like people must have done in olden days.
I'm in huge trouble.
My gramma gets mad too easily if I say there's a problem. She "needs to mind her own business," tho. They were bothering me in secret message. That's all. And they hurt my mom. Or my Gramma did. They were talking to her jokingly.. at least 1 person. What could I do? I had no idea. I should have nicely said my mom needs peace and quiet, but she acted like she didn't care that she was killing her maybe. It was easy to tell. She didn't really care that much, anyway. She keeps beating on her life! She dropped her laptop forcefully in 2010. I shouldn't have gone psycho but been civilized about it. No one is there for me. My dad doesn't talk about this stuff.
Apology
I am so sorry, if you wanna use a person as a tool for punishment is fine. Maybe, that's your time and your way to do it. I do not understand, but I wanted to say it also bothered me, tho I get argued that it's a fact and not an if this if that. I guess it is. And it is okay to you as a punishment opportunity. I don't get it, but I guess it's just wrong to say. Even if that's all you can figure out cuz you can't figure out that you deserve punishment.
TV
The Ellen DeGeneres Show
She seemed pretty happy, today, for her mood I am glad.
The cute blonde from Night at the Mew ZEE um (museum) as a cowboy was so cool. I like popular guys like that, too. He was good at the games of throwing.
The girl who was working a year to pay for college was so cute! Between the time her dad died, which scares me and frightens me. My family is now passing.
Jeannie at Disney in Hawaii was so good! She got to go with Dad and Mom as a surprise when she got there. Family is her favorite thing, and Disney.
The audience gets to got Hawaii and it's so cool!
I am so happy for the couple who proposed to marry.
She seemed pretty happy, today, for her mood I am glad.
The cute blonde from Night at the Mew ZEE um (museum) as a cowboy was so cool. I like popular guys like that, too. He was good at the games of throwing.
The girl who was working a year to pay for college was so cute! Between the time her dad died, which scares me and frightens me. My family is now passing.
Jeannie at Disney in Hawaii was so good! She got to go with Dad and Mom as a surprise when she got there. Family is her favorite thing, and Disney.
The audience gets to got Hawaii and it's so cool!
I am so happy for the couple who proposed to marry.
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