But this is so lame.

I tried so hard.

I'll have to worry about this forever and not just my nails themselves.

Hungry

Going for a salad.

And I already am concerned about getting in trouble by accident/mistake.

They won't stop

bringing me down.

This really

isn't fair to me.

Nails

We grow and we die.

Only stupid people believe

in honing in on a body part for every "mistake" someone makes.

Problem

Someone is making my family despicable.

Why are people all up in my face

telling me to feed the poor and that bad people are good?

So

if I get something, it just gets taken away and I get humiliated next time something like this happens.

They are making me think of things when I do other things and I think there's an unnecessecary reason.

It's true.

I was being pushed.

I know!

You all think these things.

OK, let's make this part official.

I'm very sorry, sweetie!

I even got

a matching hairstyle.. rather than my real gray hair.

So, I'm dying my hair.

Is that okay?

IMDb - The Soapbox

We need to figure this out, what can I do about it?

I thought of my thumb cutting someone but not realistically, and now these people experimenting on me are being mean to me. They made me writhe on the sofa maybe for 1/2 hour. I was eating pizza! I wanna be left alone. I felt molested. 

Holywood

shoveling out shit when that's the community's job, don't mean to say anything/anyone is shit, but that's "what" they do, LOL

Like, you have bad parents but you are nice at the audition, you get in.  What audition?

If YOU start it

YOU go away

Problems

I SAID TO LEAVE ME ALONE

Issue

Someone is trying to be fresh with me by skipping posting.

D:

I was on good terms with my dad, too, and I guess I totally forgot.

So

no one was like this before Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005.)

IMDb - The Soapbox

Is this board a bad influence on you? Is that possible?

Or is everything about how you function and feel your responsibility?

I was eating ikky pizza and thought of my thumbnail cutting someone but not with blood but like sorta soft feeling, fuzzy and sharp, no slicing. I was just writhing on my sofa for 1/2 hour upset at people making me feel like my dad is touching me. I can't get rid of it. I just wanna sleep for 2 days until the weekend is over. My brother is home. I hope they have a good time, but it might be w/o me.

Ivy Meer says I'm as innocent as a hurt kitten like. What's there to wonder? I didn't wanna mean it. If I hurt someone by accident sometimes is your fault sometimes isn't, but usually the person who was hurt is the concern.

Well, no..

..I suppose I've been thinking violently lately.  I didn't really mean/wanna do it.  I'll just see something as stupid a this as an accident.  Chain my fingers!

What can I do?

These people are on edge.  They are mean to me and I'm stuck where I can't literally function, like not being able to leave the house.  No one understands my situation.

Well

This is horrible.  I don't usually think of things like that.  And people are watching me when I told them they don't have to or to leave me alone.

Hungry

for something other than pizza

I Repeat Myself

My dad keeps acting like "I'm in trruble."

These people

are cheapos and won't stop thinking of fingernails.

Problem

It feels like I can't move.  I feel r****.

I SAID STOP IT

Problem

It's feeling really bad.

What

You think you're better than me?

QUIT IT

YOU JUST WANNA WASTE MY BLOG - STOP BOTHERING ME AND THIS WON'T HAPPEN LIKE THIS

In case you're not good at math..

..that person bothered me in a certain part of my body, so I guess I couldn't stop myself.  I can feel that part now not working.  I dunno, I said I don't mean it.  Think of all the nasty things you have to do on purpose.  You pretend it didn't happen.  I don't usually think of those things.

What I Did

I walked for a total of 4 hours today, but it was lame.  It's lame now.  I might just go to bed or see what's on TV.  I gotta exercise sometime, too.  I have a Disney pass and might wait to learn singing.  Dunno if it should be at a studio or the community college.

A part of me feels really bad, thanks to the person I thought of.

LEAVE ME ALONE

WHO CARES IF I THOUGHT OF MY THUMB!!!!

It's no biggie.

I was warning I was feeling bad, but no I don't mean it.  Even the pizza tasted badly.

PROBLEMS

These people made me mad just when I was trying to eat.  I thought of my thumb cutting, and I'm worried they will shove more shit in my face!

I don't know all, but I don't like my dad touching me, and I was given an image of a dad carrying a girl and it affected me more in the end, whatever reason.

What else??  I dunno..  They made text at the bottom show up and move.

I was writhing on my sofa for awhile when I woke up.  I've gotten some sandwiches at gas stations, and for some reason my dad got pizza today, probably to mess with me.

I know this 1 person keeps shoving things in my face and people defend them.  All these insulting things that hurt me.

Attack

I do not believe in racial discrimination.

I do believe a lotta people to my likings of if I was like that would be called shitty.  My dad hates that I think that.

I do not believe in telling me that I need a lesson of their own mistake, like I took part in the guilt or I really knew that I was shit and others weren't.

So

I would have talked it out if I could take back my being startled and mad.  Doesn't mean I was bad.

My ex. fam.

They are are so jittery and inaccurate in their emotions and don't slow down and figure out what they've soaked in.  My dad seems to think I'm shit if I care.

Well, this is my blog..

..I can talk.  My aunt is super highly profiled in stealth.  It seems like her husband is taking a step into my family.  I'm just saying the fact, not being sarcastic, as usual..  This is sick.  I'm not shit because I'm Amish.

What I Had

I cannot really say much for the constant being mean to me, every move and sound, from my uncle-in-law.  I didn't really confront him to that.

Me Singing Tonight

Apology

Oh, boo hoo.  I was upset my relationship with my dad was not good in the good way.

IMDb - The Soapbox

Re: what is so great about diversity?

I think I see disgust in the eyes of those on Africans. Why? Their skin is black because of the sun. They didn't chose to live there. They just live there.

I believe in diversity. 

I still think white is the majority culture. I feel distanced from it in recenter years. It's like you grow up, and then white people find out they are good princesses, even if they were bad before, like it doesn't matter and they were the ones all along tho and tho not you too. 

Question

Are these people acting like a tacky, big lady really necessary?  It seems like it's not really all right, whatever the answer would be.  I didn't think anyone cared about me.  I feel like I'm pushed in my garage suffering making ends meet, stuck wanting to make a CD but not thinking spending money on college should make the difference.

Upset

I asked at the fire why no one was talking to us and left.  I had said some things they seemed to judge and wouldn't let me off like maybe it's "just" a mistake..

Then, I was  upset my Gramma hurt my mom a lot, and the rest were calm at their own table eating.  I guess that's how they figured that one out.

I have big dreams.

I wanna live in Miami!

Race

What do you want to find out?  I guess it's easier for some to be Eurasian than Southern European..  Do you want to be more American?  I'm 1/2 American.

Wah

do you make such a big deal of me cursing?  Everyone I see does, but see I don't really curse.  I thought it was sometimes funny after talking a lot online.  When I'm mad, I'm usually silent and it never touches me and passes.

Wasn't much of a touchy feely person.

I didn't have mood swings as a young child.

Ah Wah Ah

(I) just m********ed.

Website Update

Things I Like

OK

I'm more familiar with French than Jewish.