Sunday, January 18, 2015

Underdog

People think I made someone an underdog who supposedly "took my place" in the honor I earned, just slipped right in, but my point is that they think I made her the underdog when she seems to think it's right to follow orders and make me one.  That's fine, but I'm just saying.  It seems a bit out of place, tho, disorderly and unfriendly.. I would not listen to whoever told you to be mean to me.

Getting Tired

bed soon

Happy MLK Day!!

Weird

These people think they have the right to come in and be mean to me.

Jogged

with weights, 2 pounds, like an hour

Apology

I got a little upset while jogging.  Some people around me popped the thoughts outta my subconscious sorta or created them rather.

To Address the Problem Quickly

My dad thinks he has some emotional roof over me and tries to punish me for fun for thoughts and when I feel upset and provoked, even if I don't do anything.  I think he stared down someone in my extended family who just died.  I am worried for him.  Maybe, he needs the psychiatric pills.

Criminal Tendencies

My dad had the TV on so loud, and my mom needs peace and quiet for her cancer.  It was ridiculous.  Not touching legal boundaries, but I know why he did it.  He acted like I did something and punished my mom for it.  How sick is that?
out 4 a jog

twinkie twinkie little star

Amy Adams

She doesn't have any Italian, tho.

Amy Adams

I just found out Amy Adams is from Italy.  She has natural red hair?  Anyway, sounds like another good match for Bella Thorne.

Facebook



I identified with this show.. situation-wise in art. I think this is one of the best movies I've seen.

Upset

The time I spend with my dad can be very miserable.

Problem

These people are being nasty and bugging me in my room.

Apology

I am so sorry I made a face, but it was at something that made sense.  After, I quickly dodged things, but I did get bothered by all the tomatos.

nu FB

FB

nu # (cell)

1-407-579-3609

Apology

I did not mean to hurt anyone.  I was upset at a situation.  I fixed it.  I started just going by as I let the lies fly.  I mean, people keep saying I'm not this, I can't do that.  My parents.

I was upset my dad hurt my mom when I thought of a joke with the word shit, did not mean for them to hear it.  A joke on him.  It wasn't really offensive.  It was difficult.

I'm not mad at anyone.

If anyone has a certain desire as to their relationship with me is up to them.  I was just upset and didn't know what to think.  My dad came in and acted like he spoke for someone else.  At least, it was over with a quick sneer as he left-  I just was upset at why people were upset at me, the thing with my mom where I thought of like a cartoon bopping her with something that bounced off her head.

cont.

kids sunblock

More

My dad got me the wrong sunblock "100" SPF, that I have to have "rubbed on" ever' like 90 minutes.

Problem

My dad thinks I should look at him with a babyish desire in my eyes..

Problem

My dad just keeps going at it.

Problem

He is rearranging special people in my life, too.

Problems at Home

My dad made my head and brain feel like it opened up like a toilet and a space for pooh went in it.

He had said someone said they wouldn't do something for me, and I did not accept it.  He started moving my chair putting stuff on the table, I think.  I'm sick of my parents.  They seemed nice, but they are being mean now.

Facebook

Dr. Phil Page

I feel so tired all the time. If I go anywhere, I have to take the bus or sacrifice for a ride. How can I do anything? I am a performing artist, and I don't have money, for some reason. I depended on my school and what it had to offer. I made my own decisions then, but then I was kicked out for being shy or secretly cuz I didn't memorize my piano piece. We had too much work. We had to go to the library in supposed spare time for exercises that semester. So, I have 1 year of successful college, 8 semesters of failure/medical withdrawal.
I guess it's easy to slip when someone's taunting you in your thoughts.  But that never mattered really to anyone.  Just when it's me.

Problem

They made more noises that felt like m***********.

Walking

out for a walk

I bet

my mom did it, but that fact cancels out that it's okay to think that but to try not to.  It might be a healthy outlet sometimes.

Facebook

I think parents must not like their SO if they criticize their kids for who they are, yet they shelter them to themselves, which is not a good feeling.


Some parents don't mate to have kids.  I feel as though people are suggesting to me I should not exist for various reasons: being biracial, my dad leaving his home with a note he's getting married.  I have a cousin who was very wild, and now they think it's my fault she got in trouble as a kid for no concrete reason that exists .. and now I'm the one who's bad all the time no matter what I do cuz I don't do anything.  People attacking me make me mad, like the kids on your sho'.  I have this inner feeling of fighting back when I forget to ignore it, the way people waltz around the room.  I do live at home, but I feel I'm too old to be taught to listen.  I don't do anything, they just want a certain mindset with me.  I see I've cracked cuza lazy disciplining, people who should not be getting into my life like that about things they don't understand.  It's very boring to just tell someone they are only like their family.

Good advice, Dr. Phil.  We need to make sure important goals are met.  I should elaborate what I'm posting, and so should other.  We need kids to be comfortable with their life.  One thing as a goal that made me uncomfortable was I didn't wanna do "just" ballet.  So, in the end, it was not a recreational priority to excel in.  I still cared about school too much, tho.  My college kicked me outta my major they said for being shy, so my goals were not met.  My parents didn't advise me with anything.  I wanted to go to a hi ranking college, but I already chose my scholarship at that one.  So, my future was jeopardized.  You know, it was singing they kicked me outta and Music Education.  I didn't tell them I wanted to do research maybe.  My goal is to be healthy and become famous for arts or acting with movies.  However, I'm on pills like for schizophrenia I don't need which made me need more pills.  They could jeopardize my health, in the long run.  My mom wants me on them.  Otherwise, I would move out, but they said I wasn't ready, too, when I applied for a job in Miami.  They said I could stay here and learn to care for myself.

Problem

They kept making noises in my room this morning that gave me a fake dizzy feeling that didn't feel good.

I found my mom in the kitchen acting like she was all on the ball.

I think someone intervened to do this to get me to think of something violent.  They will taunt me that the last person I started liking who's not Ellen is not something I can do.  I just thought of throwing a force at my mom's head, was so annoyed and frustrated thought of my cup.  I didn't mean to really think to hurt her like with a cup but to throw a force.  You can't just take away things right and left.  You set this up.  My mom was a wreck, would not stop waltzing around like she's taunting me.  They let my mom feel superior to me cuz my dad is not attractive in the same way.  I am not my parents.  I am another person who strives to stay attractive in her own way.  They think this will teach me an ultimate lesson, but I find it a frivolous cause.  I stopped hitting my sofa, so they will bother me about this because they think that's why it worked.  I've been saying they bother me.  I have to be walking outside to get away.

Did you know if you attack someone they can try to ignore you or simply just attack back in a way that seems fair and triumphant?  What could possibly happen, you wonder?  I simply don't like what they did.  I guess it didn't make it thru my thick skull that it was to make a statement about my mom, but I see it was wrong overall.

You could say it was an accident, it didn't bring me pleasure.  I was feeling depressed and slept more yesterday and went to bed late yet didn't wake up late.

So, no, I do not mean it.  I was being attacked, tho, so I'm not the one who should be sorry.

If a thought slips my mind, what right do you have to get me for it, when you were doing something mean to me?

What, does this prove I was weak and dizzy?  How frustrating and humiliating!

See, someone did this to make fun of me and to taunt me that I ruin my relationship with someone.  My only help is that it was an accident more.  I am not a carcass for you vultures to pick at.
Nite

My So-Happened 1st Real TV Show

Ghost Adventures!

Twitter

New Videos of Me Singing



IMDb - The Soapbox

Peter Pan is on Disney Junior [was] [is] [was] [is]

It has cool graphics, like a modern kids's book. It seems like a Dora the Explorer thing. Whoops, it's over.

I liked the pirates, but I don't like the other characters. I wonder if those things are attractive to kids or just an in the moment wonder.

[Hook and Smee]


It's still on.

Muchos Problemos

People keep being mean to me in private.  They think something's gotta give.  They just keep finding things wrong with me that are just a matter of consequence because of others.  I can see how it would come to pass, but it isn't all that way.  They did deliberately get me to feel something I didn't want, but it wasn't really that bad and it's just something that's a part of me that I do, in a lotta ways.

Problem

These people experimenting on me have nothing to say yet keep disrespecting me.

Not Being Able to Answer Right Away

Do you ever not know the answer and feel pushed to spurt something out in like how you look or what your next physical move is?

IMDb - The Soapbox

Re: Indonesians (I'm Indonesian.)

Most Indonesians are Muslim. Merely because they share a religion with most Middle Easterners, it does not make them like Arabs or Persians. Genetically the Indonesians are closer to Polynesians than Arabs and Persians.



I GameBoy so You gotta make way for The Homo Superior!

Re: Indonesians (I'm Indonesian.)

Well, I'm all Christian.

💁 Now, here are your things. G'nite!

IMDb - The Soapbox

Re: Chinese Acrobats

I liked that Chinese Acrobat in Ocean's Eleven.

I'm an Extraterrestrial-American.
a.k.a. killersalmon a.k.a. NovaFlames

Re: Chinese Acrobats

I don't know if I caught that one, but I have Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Terry Giliam. They are real people. 

IMDb - The Soapbox

Re: Indonesians (I'm Indonesian.)

Everyone knows the Indonesians to be like Middle Easterners even more than Asians. Indonesia is a major country. The existence of Polynesia does not cancel this out, in fact. 

IMDb - The Soapbox

Chinese Acrobats

They seem to be the ones who strive most to be European, the acrobats if you compare Chinese people to one another. They need exercise like us. 

IMDb - The Soapbox

Would you rather be real Indonesian or Chinese Indonesian?

The Chinese are more like the Dutch who conquered Indonesia soon after the Chinese arrived.