Not doing it, don't know when it's due. Recording. Monologue.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Tired
Not sure why, but I am, guess I have to go to bed, alarms set.. Have to wake up, pack, and get ready, I guess. :S Not much time. 7 hours. Might not brush my teeth?
Facebook Post
I am careful enough for others to be envious, so I guess you better watch out. Also, I only have so much energy. I mean, what I said is interesting when others say it. They don't say it because they know anyone can say it. That is cute, though, I mean do you like it? I think I get it, though..not sure what we're supposed to get? So, what are we gonna get out of it? I mean, the word "murder" with the picture you like. I mean, this does come up. I know it can do bad for you..your life ain't over, yet- -
Finished Eating
Might watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" or just go to bed. Hard time moving. Had 2 hot dogs last night and cake and ice cream. Just had a burger on thin rye and 2 hot dogs on wheat with ketchup, Heinz, and my white cake with 2 containers of vanilla icing and Breyer's vanilla ice cream.
Problem
So, I am eating..my dad made my eye feel big. All I can say is the Asian man affected me, why don't we affect him 1st? Well, the left brow..
Re:Ginny
You all are stuck up and mean to just me. I am sorry, but you all are mean to me, and I do not attack anyone with swear words for who they are originally. The class really is annoying, and Ginny does, like everyone else, treat me like a 2nd class citizen, .. They claim they can't stop for stupid reasons. Thanks for the nice, relatively lengthy e-mail. You seem to have a nice family. You are a cool person. It seems we are similar. It would be fun to end up in a situation where we like go out, like to an art museum and have ice cream with Ginny. Not sure what else, you know? Or like an annual concert, maybe she goes! D; Well, okay, better send this, went to bed late and am going to the therapist. Have to get clothes ready, couldn't find my nail glitter (extra,) that's about it. Not sure @ her hw..should have asked someone! Oh well, .. too late. Ate my big piece a beef and some greens..water. Well!.. You should join IMDb, find special boards. Post on my for'm. Seems I'm almost there. Ok..byee!
You all are stuck up and mean to just me. I am sorry, but you all are mean to me, and I do not attack anyone with swear words for who they are originally. The class really is annoying, and Ginny does, like everyone else, treat me like a 2nd class citizen, .. They claim they can't stop for stupid reasons. Thanks for the nice, relatively lengthy e-mail. You seem to have a nice family. You are a cool person. It seems we are similar. It would be fun to end up in a situation where we like go out, like to an art museum and have ice cream with Ginny. Not sure what else, you know? Or like an annual concert, maybe she goes! D; Well, okay, better send this, went to bed late and am going to the therapist. Have to get clothes ready, couldn't find my nail glitter (extra,) that's about it. Not sure @ her hw..should have asked someone! Oh well, .. too late. Ate my big piece a beef and some greens..water. Well!.. You should join IMDb, find special boards. Post on my for'm. Seems I'm almost there. Ok..byee!
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Last
I am a person who can last and will not accept the world as racist and poor-centered.
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Being Right
What if no one was ever right? "Then leave them alone, and they'll go home...". What about Ellen's feelings-
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"Rock Bottom"
What do you think of Ellen being wrong, like that the world hoped Asians would not have a European face unless they tried hard? Why not just like people for what they were able to achieve in life? You have hit rock bottom.
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Ride
I got 2 annoying messages. My mom is looking, and my dad is coming, ride's here. 8I
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Problem
My Dad did something for a long time. He's also picking at me for no reason.
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Problem
So, Ellen won't take something good twice. I know her attitude is incorrect.
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Problem
More messages. Don't need them, don't like this shit. Don't wish to go through shit alone.
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Plan
I didn't get a call @ my ride. Don't have the new special #. Will get home by 9 or 10. Eat, shower.. Bed? 11 or 12. Wake up 5 or pack .. no? Wake up @ 5:30.
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Old Stereotype
I found I may be old. I don't have a stereotype. I am gonna cut my hair in layers and straighten it with serum. No bangs. Well, yea.. to the side. Not dying it brown.
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Problem
I got more annoying message.. Please stop annoying me for my health.
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Something Weird
I don't have to tell you this, but actually 1 more person liked Ginny's status.
It just seems like no experience is okay.
Also, you shouldn't worry so much. Why do you?
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It just seems like no experience is okay.
Also, you shouldn't worry so much. Why do you?
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Problem
My next therapist appt. Is in 3 weeks, and I don't actually know why but don't care about my dad's feelings. I will not stop all life and exploration bc of Tim Burton. Also, I am cold. Can't type.
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Unfinished Post
My parents are jealous of me and made my brother a nigger, my opposite. He has 0 European traits, didn't do rt
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OK, I am pretty sure I will see you there.. something was bothering me.. I think it was that I couldn't find my nail polish, found I did have a therapist appt. today, went to bed crying bc of Ginny but about something else, and haven't like seen if I need to repack anything, guess just my clothes. 3I Oh yea, and I don't think I have a ride reserved for tomorrow so will depend on the bus system, which doesn't tell you when to let off. So, you know, I just am frustrated. I sent my dad a message to reserve a ride, but like some other things recently he just stopped and though funny still bugs me. I guess my mom didn't check her e-mail, didn't send me a message back. I mean, she doesn't usually, don't even know when she checks her text messages. I mean, I just come at like 7-8, do weight training, eat lunch, jog, shower and sing in there, then I get out and do makeup, have to wear contacts to read and see faces far away, and I guess now will not be straightening my hair since it made it frizzy. I would consider straightening it with formula, but I do believe it is permanent. I might do it, anyway. I don't believe when it is long that it is ever naturally straight. I don't even know if it's thick or thin. I need my dad to cut it, too. It's okay curly, but I think I am going to buy straightening serum, again. 
Then, I might cut it moderately short with the layers.. I was gonna angle it but guess not. Not so bad, I can grow it out, but I'd have to wait to get it back curly so am worried @ that because when I dyed it it didn't look good, I mean my black hair didn't dye well, don't even know what color to dye it.. I don't want medium brown hair.. Hm, maybe I'll get it done this weekend. OK, so see you tomorrow..
Then, I might cut it moderately short with the layers.. I was gonna angle it but guess not. Not so bad, I can grow it out, but I'd have to wait to get it back curly so am worried @ that because when I dyed it it didn't look good, I mean my black hair didn't dye well, don't even know what color to dye it.. I don't want medium brown hair.. Hm, maybe I'll get it done this weekend. OK, so see you tomorrow..Problem
I'm missing both my new glitter nail polish covers.
Also, I'm getting bugged again.. like I found my mouse pointer hovering over something.
I found I have my therapist appointment and haven't packed .. have to see if I have better pants for tomorrow. Didn't practice, want to jog tomorrow. Cooking a big, thick hunk of beef and lots of turnip greens..didn't really want turnip greens.
Problem
I asked my dad to reserve me a ride at work, like usual, and he forwarded it to my mom, but I don't think she got it. I think it's too late. That means I have to get on the bus, pretty sure it works..they said it doesn't work at 6 A.M.. I bet some people think it's funny. So, what, if I said that? Stop showing off.
The teacher said she wouldn't be here Thursday, seemed like it'd be the next Thursday, but it is next Thursday. You know, they don't tell you where they are on the bus. Hey, my writing just almost got erased. I remember where I get dropped off..
The teacher said she wouldn't be here Thursday, seemed like it'd be the next Thursday, but it is next Thursday. You know, they don't tell you where they are on the bus. Hey, my writing just almost got erased. I remember where I get dropped off..
Told Someone Something
I never really did this all these years, but I said I quit ballet and slept, went online, and didn't go back because this boy, from England, wouldn't talk to me much anymore, got sorta in a brawl but not me like being literally attacked.
It was a girl before weight training, walking on the track, said she was from NY, didn't tell her where I was from, Puerto Rican dad, I think, I told her she had such light hair so asked, was like blonde and faded.. seems familiar. Does that mean I got those genes from my dad? Er, I've lived in the South a long time.
It was a girl before weight training, walking on the track, said she was from NY, didn't tell her where I was from, Puerto Rican dad, I think, I told her she had such light hair so asked, was like blonde and faded.. seems familiar. Does that mean I got those genes from my dad? Er, I've lived in the South a long time.
New Facebook Friend
Facebook
She's the girl I talked to after class, the other partner I acted with, a ½ Puerto Rican maternally and then part black part mostly Italian I got, just realized it might be more, had to ask what kind of Caucasian .. and she wanted to go by ethnicity as I emitted excursions of my own "race.." I know she does voices and can document more via Facebook had I the time.. see I am just enjoying myself for 8 years in a way, and I have to clean my room- Also, I mean, like eat and stuff. I mean, I just don't do that stuff, now.. I don't know, maybe I shouldn't go anywhere, but I can't stand just seeing my dad and mom..
She's the girl I talked to after class, the other partner I acted with, a ½ Puerto Rican maternally and then part black part mostly Italian I got, just realized it might be more, had to ask what kind of Caucasian .. and she wanted to go by ethnicity as I emitted excursions of my own "race.." I know she does voices and can document more via Facebook had I the time.. see I am just enjoying myself for 8 years in a way, and I have to clean my room- Also, I mean, like eat and stuff. I mean, I just don't do that stuff, now.. I don't know, maybe I shouldn't go anywhere, but I can't stand just seeing my dad and mom..
Ginny
Ginny doesn't post her Facebook to the public now and apparently, though I am still friend with her, has blocked me. Search me. What could I have done? I don't think I called her a nigger, threatened her. I don't remember. I'll look through my blog.. Okay, I see in my 2nd Facebook post to a friend's photo that I spelled out some words with *'s and later said p.o.s., so don't know. They think it's pleasurable to see me do it, but I didn't actually say she was like that when she was nice. She didn't respond to my e-mail. You told me she just doesn't use it for that. Okay.. I don't know why, but I am guessing it's not a real reason.
[Sh]it Happens
It seems Ellen DeGeneres wants to recreate people. Um, I had a hard time feeling okay psychiatrically about myself, shit happens.
Questioned
So, I was always considered very well-behaved, why say then I don't deserve anything? You just said that -it- was an unfair advantage.
Sent: 3:22 A.M.
B4 Class
If anyone is free before class, do ya'll wanna hang out? We could meet @ 3:30 P.M. I find with 1 person, I talk a long time, though.
After Class Next Tuesday
Does anyone wanna hang out? I could have hung out longer but hung out a long time with a girl after class, til our rides came at 8:45 P.M. I just like hollared to her and the other girl in the group about what Ginny does, doesn't Facebook me, now.
After Class This Thursday..
Anyone wanna hang out? We could stay until midnight.
B4 Class
If anyone is free before class, do ya'll wanna hang out? We could meet @ 3:30 P.M. I find with 1 person, I talk a long time, though.
After Class Next Tuesday
Does anyone wanna hang out? I could have hung out longer but hung out a long time with a girl after class, til our rides came at 8:45 P.M. I just like hollared to her and the other girl in the group about what Ginny does, doesn't Facebook me, now.
After Class This Thursday..
Anyone wanna hang out? We could stay until midnight.
Attacked
So, I was let out on that like something like weird about talking to Ginny, but I mean I don't find her weird..
Problem
Why are people making fun of me for thinking I can live forever? What do you think? I mean, you could do lots of things.
Problem
Look, what did I do? I did nothing. I didn't attack her on her Facebook. What should I do now? Put talk to me if you're mad? Why would she block me? She has no point. She's not even a person|human. She would then go forward and claim it's something about for my own good, I mean, like .. why can't I see her Facebook! For my own good I thought of some new thing, I meant like there seemed to be a reason, and you know there is no reason. She also thinks it's to protect me from her friends. How insulting. They didn't talk to me. You know, see if you can get someone to have a good time like me and not be killed. I gotchu now. Look, why would there be all these points? Stop telling me I didn't work in class or some shit.
Problem
So, what do you think about being blocked by someone? I mean, it seems like this kind of thing happens. I sometimes think like with family I have too many advantages. Sometimes, I worry they will be friends with someone else, instead, and I guess that they aren't real people. Then, I don't really believe anyone "is real." The problem is that we are expected to read certain things, and anyone can get in. I will be held at stake. I think people will just feel sorry for me and know I'm open. They won't trust her. You can't read her posts anywhere, though. Um, I never said, yea it's cool Facebook should do that. I just mean, like, say, what if Tim Burton just didn't like you, or Ellen DeGeneres? What if both of them didn't? Wouldn't you hve like a combined problem? I don't know, I mean admit it don't you like play a game? I mean, I guess you'll have to just say like everyone is going for something, and if they know someone let you down, they won't do what they did instead. You know, you feel sad. So, they won't say, yes this person is talking to you. It'll say, no, this person is putting you off. I like reading her Facebook and want to in the summer. What will I do? She doesn't talk to me. Wah. WTF is this? I'm gonna talk about it to the people in my class, probably. I said I'd e-mail and see who all wants to talk I guess after Acting I or Improv. I mean, why can't I see her Facebook like everyone else? I mean, not everyone in the world will friend her. I mean, WTF is everyone's problem! She really is being mean. I mean why did she do it? Just to send a message? Isn't that like shitty? I mean, come one, what do you think? It's like she's afraid of me. She doesn't understand my frustrations. Why? What is wrong with her? I mean, maybe she's not really Californian or maybe it's just L.A. now because I'm from the South.
So
So, what, people don't like me doing other things? Like, they don't think I can think morally like them? I'm sorry, but that's not like some funny question I'm gonna joke about. What, should I just say Orlando is shit? Orlando is shit. :|
Facebook Post
He must be part French.
(Ryan Gosling is so sensitive. - TShirt saying, every time you eat bread he is sad.)
(Ryan Gosling is so sensitive. - TShirt saying, every time you eat bread he is sad.)
Problem
I really don't care for messages "when things do go wrong."
So, I went to my bed and really cried and like sobbed until I almost threw up, for some reason. xp I'm gonna * myself. I was in there, and I was made to feel good. I really don't know about like say you don't know anyone, but I mean, I need like to organize my private life and "personal needs.." whatever "personal needs" entails.
Also, what is wrong with me acting like I'm a Floridian, that's been a topic of debate. I mean, kids like Dakota Fanning think they're South Carolinian I mean seem like it but want to be Georgian. I don't know. I mean, I can't think of people with a kid born in Florida from elsewhere.
Also, what are you thinking about never talking to adults? What's wrong with talking to your teacher. I mean, I think I was social with teachers who were nice.
I'm co-o-old now. Please stop turning me off for fun. I have a feeling that you think it's smart. Why can't I be young? What is your problem? I do it, for fun. I don't talk about it for fun. Everyone tries to be young. Some people succeed. It might be from being Chinese, so better check out the Swedish. I don't give a shit if other white people thought of this bullshit. What is your problem? You just like discoveries. Well, maybe I'm not talking to just 1 person, but I mean maybe it's always to anyone. Um, I'm sure that's also been bonked off and not spoken of. You know, I don't believe in this L.A. catfood shit, I'm gonna live my life you goddamn motherfuckers. What's with all the insults all the time? I don't "want" you people. Do you want a European to "want" you? I know that's some trait you display. You just say stuff like you're shit and you don't care and stuff and think I have to be worse. Um, that's so, ain't it? You just kinda go along, and that's all I'm actually thinking about.
Also, stop hurting me with my Floridian heritage. I didn't do nothing, and that sin is a proven gay fact. You think that maybe California is different. I'm sure there are differences, but there are similarities. You know why I care, because I'm talking about myself. I'm from Florida. I'm not northern shit landed in Egypt.
Anyway, so, why do most people say hm I wonder why I didn't go online or something, like I'm looking at the webcam.. Why don't you like record yourself or something? Talk to the people you know. I mean, you have to practice. If you don't, then you'll have to catch up, later. That's cute, so catch up later for fun if you didn't already, but sorta go through what you go through now I guess. Oh, I didn't realize to say that I was looking at the logo that seemed to pop up. I didn't post it in my original thought because you wouldn't know I was correcting it. I could say so but maybe am too tired. I dunno, I just don't feel like thinking about it. I mean, it would be nice, but I mean this has already happened to me, 2 rights make a wrong. Or something of that sorta spirit..
So, I went to my bed and really cried and like sobbed until I almost threw up, for some reason. xp I'm gonna * myself. I was in there, and I was made to feel good. I really don't know about like say you don't know anyone, but I mean, I need like to organize my private life and "personal needs.." whatever "personal needs" entails.
Also, what is wrong with me acting like I'm a Floridian, that's been a topic of debate. I mean, kids like Dakota Fanning think they're South Carolinian I mean seem like it but want to be Georgian. I don't know. I mean, I can't think of people with a kid born in Florida from elsewhere.
Also, what are you thinking about never talking to adults? What's wrong with talking to your teacher. I mean, I think I was social with teachers who were nice.
I'm co-o-old now. Please stop turning me off for fun. I have a feeling that you think it's smart. Why can't I be young? What is your problem? I do it, for fun. I don't talk about it for fun. Everyone tries to be young. Some people succeed. It might be from being Chinese, so better check out the Swedish. I don't give a shit if other white people thought of this bullshit. What is your problem? You just like discoveries. Well, maybe I'm not talking to just 1 person, but I mean maybe it's always to anyone. Um, I'm sure that's also been bonked off and not spoken of. You know, I don't believe in this L.A. catfood shit, I'm gonna live my life you goddamn motherfuckers. What's with all the insults all the time? I don't "want" you people. Do you want a European to "want" you? I know that's some trait you display. You just say stuff like you're shit and you don't care and stuff and think I have to be worse. Um, that's so, ain't it? You just kinda go along, and that's all I'm actually thinking about.
Also, stop hurting me with my Floridian heritage. I didn't do nothing, and that sin is a proven gay fact. You think that maybe California is different. I'm sure there are differences, but there are similarities. You know why I care, because I'm talking about myself. I'm from Florida. I'm not northern shit landed in Egypt.
Anyway, so, why do most people say hm I wonder why I didn't go online or something, like I'm looking at the webcam.. Why don't you like record yourself or something? Talk to the people you know. I mean, you have to practice. If you don't, then you'll have to catch up, later. That's cute, so catch up later for fun if you didn't already, but sorta go through what you go through now I guess. Oh, I didn't realize to say that I was looking at the logo that seemed to pop up. I didn't post it in my original thought because you wouldn't know I was correcting it. I could say so but maybe am too tired. I dunno, I just don't feel like thinking about it. I mean, it would be nice, but I mean this has already happened to me, 2 rights make a wrong. Or something of that sorta spirit..
Edit
Deleted old text box.
College Path:
•Singing + Ballet @ UCF
•or @ a Franciscan U in Allegany
Fall 2013:
•Dialects & Stage Movement
College Path:
•Singing + Ballet @ UCF
•or @ a Franciscan U in Allegany
Fall 2013:
•Dialects & Stage Movement
Problem
I am very mad because everyone is boring into me that maybe Ginny should block me and that's just a fact. No one really cares. They don't get it. They just say like this isn't related to anybody else not talking to me nor like maybe any sort of reaction to like say you know some thing that bothers you or like I dunno. I mean, it is hard to get over, just no, find someone else to talk to. Like, something stupid comes up to me, maybe I don't like Pennsylvanians or maybe she's gay. Well, I think I was unaccepted in my former habitat. I'm sure I am right.
Problem
Just stop going out of your way thinking I'm a bad person. I'm gonna sit here and attack you all to submission, thinking I could have gotten younger.
Problem
I am being treated like nothing both in my experiment and with people and like I have to connect to my dad and grandma in thought. They have a problem. They are mean to me, and so are you. I'm sorry if you didn't meet my grandma as a baby.. Maybe, I strive to be a better version of her, but I mean I'm not gay. My dad honks on about how bad his mom is in thought. It's some thing, everyone thought about it, thoughts above your head, suggestions about what you deserve..
Problem
Why do you keep saying I did stuff I didn't? Like, I was just thinking of a baby picture, like mostly why my skin was tan. Um, how was I supposed to be accepted as a strong person and left alone with light skin? Yea, I am jealous of the assets of having light skin. I guess I would make myself tanner and tanner. Please, stop telling me I am the only 1 who is my dad, in a bad way..I think you'll find my dad isn't who you say, and you'll find he's done weird things with his health that don't involve me. I don't think any kid has the health their parents had or have, what will that say? Hm. I don't really get it, they said it was a lost dream and then their kids had problems. What about me? Does that mean you can bastardize me? Why are you getting all gay about it? Why are you acting like I'm chasing you? I don't wanna just chase black people and niggers.
Problem
So, why are people so mean to me that I've met so far? Let's see, I can count.. 1 2 3 4 probably more. You think I'm programmed to do things. Um, well, I don't seem to have much else to do.
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