Sunday, November 30, 2014
Exciting
It's really all very exciting Sarah Brightman is going into outer space. 1 more thing in this world to do than to sing.
Saturday, November 29, 2014
Tired
Nite? Got the week ahead. May get up.
I am so sorry if anyone went berserk at knowing my ideas. :( Too bad they go thru those stages. It proved to be something important. I do feel more pressured than when I had privacy. Those thoughts just don't happen, not like that.
I am so sorry if anyone went berserk at knowing my ideas. :( Too bad they go thru those stages. It proved to be something important. I do feel more pressured than when I had privacy. Those thoughts just don't happen, not like that.
"Sensitive"
That's also me. You might say things are okay, but like my dad just came in and I'm worried about what might have gone on.
What's the point?
I was fresh when I was young, but I see people like Ellen out there taking over the world in her 50s.
More Interesting Stuff
I could not seem to get over the idea that the lead in The Phantom of the Opera was so young and the ballerina had to be so good with a singing voice. They said she had to be good at point. This is for the tour.
Changing
It seems to be taking a long time and that people don't want me to improve ever since Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Tim Burton came out, tho I like him just not what people say concerning him. I moved, and it's like they spotted me. I was so upset in college I wanted to graduate early with all these skills, and I got told to take a break and not do those things in music at the school where I accepted my scholarship. I also just found out you have to be 18-25 to be the lead in The Phantom of the Opera tour, which should not matter but I was hoping that there would be something out there someone talented like me would like to try out for. I contacted them to ask and someone else about singing online. I also said I could have sung the role at 16 but thought it wa bumped up to like 30s.
I'm sure of it!
Adults look at my picture and if I don't look perfect tell me I am morally bad. Have you never heard of living with bad schools? Then, there's the homework which gets dumped on us after that. It's memorizing stuff we know nothing about.
I'm so bored..
..with things like the movie Cats. There's not much out there and not much invitation for people with these rare talents. I am considering a dance minor but until next semester and a note from a psychiatrist it's singing lessons. It's just so nerve-wracking trying to remember those little dance steps at the bar that mean nothing artistically/"story"-wise. Dance is dance! Not just "an art!" It's.. "dance!"
My "New" Life?
What is it about these, like, "crazy" adults sizing up my picture saying I amount to nothing.. I am 1/2 Chinese. Does that give me a chance? I mean, I look white and pretty good considering! People just submerge to the next depth and say that makes it worse cuz they're racist. It's like they expect a shitty stereotype from us. A sorta haggard looking sagging face with bleached highlights and a haggard smile to go with it.. not even encouraging the pretty blonde look rare people have. Like more slicked back bleach highlighted hair and a sorta triangle look to their face which is strong and slick. I've seen at least 2 English girls in speaking roles who looked like this on TV, 1 was a popular New Year.
I know
there are beautiful, competent young adults out there in their late 20s like me who would make great motherly figures to other younger children. It's like when I was little and I felt that teenagers weren't as comforting.
Friday, November 28, 2014
Hope
I feel drained. I live at home. I'd go for a well-deserved health snack. I am prescribed 6 pills. Before, none. I used to go for the old Pizza Pockets and watch Cats on Fridays at 12. Was watching Cats. Guess I'll go watch that. >^..^<
How do you feel
about people who could have been cool but claim they were being tacky for you and it could big like looking older than your parents..
TV
I might wait for our internet and cable to work rather than watching interference come to my phone. I also would prefer a nap. Maybe after I get ready. So far, I've eaten and jogged. I was losing weight until Turkey Day came. I don't eat much of it, tho, at a time. I dunno what I should do. I feel like I've done something wrong sometimes when I watch Ellen. Maybe watch at least 1 clip soon. Feel tired from diabetes pills now, too.
Who I've Become
People and some or 1 in particular are mad at who they know me as and if I wasn't wouldn't be able to be mad. It might sound easy to solve, but it isn't. I just kept getting I was unaccepted for a fake reason. Or that no one deserves something of this nature. If so, it is different that they rotate the attention or finish it all off. Famous people stay in people's memory and need to be careful.
TV
I should watch Ellen on my cell but feel self-conscious. May get internet today. We'll see, want to sleep or do something else. The connection often fails, in a way.
People play
Around with me on if they are serious. I can't seem to lodge myself into any fact of nature.
Thursday, November 27, 2014
Why
Do people only react to famous people? It will only be too late. No more being bad to be cool, no matter who says it. Being famous comes with a reason, not as a riot for fighting. Like, it's not for saying life is a complaint. It's for brave or highly competent people to have some outlet.
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
So
I guess you are stuck not letting people develop and be who they want. It's all a game of catch from the past.
I was thinking..
Bella Thorne is a really cool person. 'd love to see her go far.
Why didn't I get a chance at my own life? Am I an illegal age? Just unfortunate in a world that isn't about my success, anymore, denying my comparable talents.
Music
I wrote a short song and like 2 1 liners. Hi as well as deep low. I might have to make the regular sized 1s repeat.
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
TV
I liked Jennifer Anniston on Ellen. She is very sweet.
Garth Brooks was also very nice.
There aren't many clips online and my computer was slow .. and the show was interrupted and I ended up turning it off. Whoops, it may have come back on.
Garth Brooks was also very nice.
There aren't many clips online and my computer was slow .. and the show was interrupted and I ended up turning it off. Whoops, it may have come back on.
Health
I had an apple today. It seems I'm getting healthier. Too bad about the diabetes. He thought I should get an early start and get shots, but I said no. Instead, I am gonna get of my psych meds. I just have to switch psychiatrists. I could die, lose eyesight.. I can't even get an early appointment. Should I wean myself?
I guess..
..I got away with myself. Sorry. I figured I should not try to be mad cuz it made me more mad, too.
Where I'm At..
Laundry
I cleaned and vacuumed my room.
I just need a shelf for my books, might stack em up here.
Looking forward to Ellen @ 3.
I cleaned and vacuumed my room.
I just need a shelf for my books, might stack em up here.
Looking forward to Ellen @ 3.
Edit
I set my YouTube videos to private. I'll add more public ones. I wanted to take away the copyrighted ones. I do want to be a singer. The accompaniments didn't indicate neither if we could record over them and post them online.. so I won't. I can see why. :/
I don't see
why they point out me cursing or hitting things or screaming. You just stay positive and say not to do it, not sit there and poke a bug with a stick. It is worthless to be here.
What I Did
dishes, ate zucchini, washed laundry, ironed, dried laundry, vacuumed
Now, I have to finish the laundry and wash whites and special things.
Now, I have to finish the laundry and wash whites and special things.
Problems
I got upset and squeamed and by accident hit the laundry machine once. I stopped doing that more now. I don't know who was on my mind, but it doesn't matter cuz I dunno I just feel out of place, a failure. They continued to bug me more. I guess I have to live with it, like Anne Frank.
The Day
I guess I will wash, iron, and clean up my room the best I can without getting a new shelf yet.
Monday, November 24, 2014
Pretty Weird
Last night, I was bouncing in my chair in anger. I'm still in anger. I don't want to think about this person every time I post on my blog.
For some reason
when things get stuck in my blog, I think of what it was done to remind me of and it doesn't stop. It's not that bad if I get mad because it's actually understandable.
Problems
I don't like the reminder with the +1 and I am not here to listen to whatever anyone says! You did this illegally! You could go to prison. I thought of it again!
Problem
When my blog loads, I think of a person because of the +1 sign they put when I was upset, kinda like on my old computer the scroll mark on the topic part going up after I got upset all 1 week after seeing someone I like. Also, they started out saying birthday with this person.
I gotta go..
You shouldn't make me believe I did something bad. You did.
I gotta go..
You shouldn't make me believe I did something bad. You did.
Bye!
So, I hope everything is okay. I am tired. I hope I don't have to be punished, and I am 28 and I know they are doing it for no reason, even if nothing had happened. What do you think about what they did? I had nowhere to turn. I should have thought thru. I hit a road block. I got worried. I had eaten and was about to sleep, but my mom just came in to talk about tomorrow, like we were supposed to. I don't really see it as losing a person each time something happens or if something physical does come up, again I see it as a shadow hanging over me. I wonder if I lost something for being frantic. I think I already lost things, too, it seems now. It felt better before. My life is trapped and confined to certain things.
2 Weeks
I think they go into the week after, too, until Friday. So, might not watch then, neither, I think. Bon voyage!
As of now
I wanna watch Ellen again starting tomorrow. I plan to skip the week after to keep up with Sarah Brightman's concerts online if they go up.
Problem
I encouraged someone on Twitter, and they threatened I deserved to die but they can't do it..
Problem
Every time I post because of what came up they made it so my blog shows +1 next to each post and posts it to my Google profile, which is not something I like. I know someone is laughing at me because they do this and treat me like an animal.
Problem
You take down the reminder right now. They made all my blog posts go to my Google + page. and it says so when I post! I don't care what you want. You're a criminal, and I could send Ellen to jail for this.
Problem
Lat night, I wa sin a lot of pain with them bringing up messages, so I squirmed to myself. I didn't know what was going on. I forgot that I wasn't supposed to like do something physical like that or I'd lose a relationship. It took me awhile to stop. I'm still upset, tho. It looks like it might come up. It's fine in a way, but this didn't make sense I don't have freedom to think how I like. I don't feel well, neither. Like something's been like nailed into me. I don't think they "take" excuses. Oh well, I must think things thru even more and learned to ignore things. I didn't scream loud enough to be heard much and was just moving in my chair, not hitting the table. I really don't want to lose a relationship because I was in pain and it hurt a lot. It's unfair. I don't wanna go along with these superstitious people. This was special to me. They were wrong. I'm not doing this. Why are they acting like they have dominion over me now? You should not have done what you've done. Don't go lying to me. What was I to do? I was afraid I'd ruin my computer, too. So, I channeled that energy another way. I don't think they can take away a relationship unless the person decides to. I don't think that will happen. I don't like how if I do something physical they think that to be "easy." No one was even in here. My mom was doing laundry, but I wasn't that loud. I can't have little things cause me to lose my favorite relationship. I don't need to be counseled and mad a spectacle of, neither. What you did was harmful. You just wouldn't stop, and now I have to pay for you all. At the time, I forgot because it'd been awhile that you'd do this. I don't like doing it myself. I feel provoked more to do it than that I'd wanna. Sorry! I just don't see how I'm not allowed to really do this if I got really bad-feeling.
Sunday, November 23, 2014
I'm not alone.
And no one wants to talk it out with me. I stayed contained.
Why did you just say that? "Want/s?" I told you I AM NOT GIVING UP ANY PERSON FOR THIS.
Why did you just say that? "Want/s?" I told you I AM NOT GIVING UP ANY PERSON FOR THIS.
Problem
My feet feel numb and tingly.
You don't give other people these problems. What the *beep* do you think I am to speak to me in such a way?
You don't give other people these problems. What the *beep* do you think I am to speak to me in such a way?
I know what you're gonna do now.
You think I am not set with someone, were waiting to see me lose it. QUIT IT. It's hurting me.
I SAID NO
I'm not playing your jokes all night on this.
I don't want that person to be in my life watching me.
I don't want that person to be in my life watching me.
Confused
I didn't really get it. I did, but they wouldn't stop.
Now, they're gonna wake up someone and make them mad at me and do wrong things to me.
I NEED MY PRIVACY.
Now, they're gonna wake up someone and make them mad at me and do wrong things to me.
I NEED MY PRIVACY.
Problem
Now, my legs are puffed up.
You now, this shit ruined everything. I didn't hit the table. I stomped on the floor to stop it! I SAID TO STOP. How stupid is this? They really won't shut up. I demand you stop. You know, we started this with Ellen.
You now, this shit ruined everything. I didn't hit the table. I stomped on the floor to stop it! I SAID TO STOP. How stupid is this? They really won't shut up. I demand you stop. You know, we started this with Ellen.
Problem
I see what they are doing.
Hey stop making fun of me!
I still won't take this.
What if this comes up? That's all I want to know. I don't want my birthday ruined. What about all these other messages? They are sending more.
Hey stop making fun of me!
I still won't take this.
What if this comes up? That's all I want to know. I don't want my birthday ruined. What about all these other messages? They are sending more.
Problem
A car said my favorite weekend now!
My mom won't stop.
I NEED TO REALLY GET TO BED YOU BASTARDS.
My mom won't stop.
I NEED TO REALLY GET TO BED YOU BASTARDS.
Problem
You have no right to infiltrate my birthday in any way. I have nothing against anyone. My mom is joking this is like Portia. Tell her to shut the Hell up.
Problem
Why do you keep acting like I'm in trouble? That's what's wrong. Hey, they think I am submitting. They are losers. You all won't stop bothering me. I don't feel well. I won't take this. I don't know what to do about what you said. When people dig in it really hurts. They just affected my nose! That's not nice. Go away. I want my nose and everything. Quit bothering me. They won't be quiet. They are so annoying.
Problem
They also were being sarcastic and won't stop. They said, "1 day," and did 2 new different things.
Problems
It started out with someone cornily saying, "You know what to do," in a corny partially squeaking or honking voice.
Problems
I'm trying to sleep, and my mom comes in to ask about tomorrow cuz I didn't see her cuz she was with my dad. Make a long story short I know she pleasures in me being in trouble, and they put a person up for my birthday, when it wasn't the place. I writhed a lot about it and need help cuz I have bad karma. Anyway, I am depressed. I don't like how I'm just with grumpy Dad it feels when I only come out to eat and when I need to. What happened to when I was with lots of people?
Problem
They made a machine in the garage tick every so often.
Today, my dad was attacking my mom and sometimes me with how he acted and made noises in the kitchen. My mom also made me upset in the kitchen.
Today, my dad was attacking my mom and sometimes me with how he acted and made noises in the kitchen. My mom also made me upset in the kitchen.
Twitter and Facebook
Most famous people I know do Twitter.
Now, targeted audience, that's another thing.
Now, targeted audience, that's another thing.
Back
I got part of my outfit to wear to Ellen.
I got a cool book (c) 2013 of striving to be a personality type with tests, researched the brain and old tests, the MBTI.
I got it as a paperback cuz it was for personality and they have diagrams and tests and nice font. I mean, I use a NOOK, which is a Barnes & Noble tablet. I get magazines there if I do, too.
I got a cool book (c) 2013 of striving to be a personality type with tests, researched the brain and old tests, the MBTI.
I got it as a paperback cuz it was for personality and they have diagrams and tests and nice font. I mean, I use a NOOK, which is a Barnes & Noble tablet. I get magazines there if I do, too.
Sorry
I almost posted something about other people's opinions that was very much not that nice. I guess I should learn to think. I try. I just keep messing up. I do admit I feel interrupted and don't want to be like dissed in that way. I wouldn't mind if someone said about me what I was going to say, tho.
I noticed something.
Every time someone popular comes on, it's about dissing me, their popular tools. Like, how they look. Like they aren't actually thinking of me.
Hypnosis
You are trying to make me feel like I did something bad. If I ever feel loved/liked, I won't really feel it. It's like a big joke. I have to talk to the underdogs and outcasts. Not really being alone doesn't always help. I feel bombarded with hatred from liars and scapegoats. It's like something you can't take but can learn to ignore and forget. It represents a place in your life you once had you can't go.
I have a real life, and it's not about being "experimented" on. I don't deserve to be imprisoned. Anyone could lash out for being treated badly all of a sudden.
Things
OK, so I just woke up and had leftover pizza.
I got carried away explaining something some I didn't post, nothing mean, but I didn't post it, in the end. Maybe, by a certain point, I could feel it wouldn't be a good idea. I didn't think it was appropriate, even though is is kinda important. Better to come up with it outside of other things. I might be haunted. I feel followed. I saw signs this morning of it. It made me mad.
I also had some Halloween candy.
They don't wanna talk about it, so I don't know how we will do anything about it if it is a topic you are interested in bringing up/going into.. I lose everything if I make a mistake, but others don't.
They actually are rude sending me these messages. I'd like to ignore them like they are not there, in a way. What if they aren't? It's possible.
So, I'm sorry if how I lived my life has offended you. I don't really know.. guess I should bring it up on its own.
Saturday, November 22, 2014
I'm sorry but
the truth just rolls when nothing else can really come to mind. Everyone is different. That holds true for a lotta things. Talk about things on your own rather than waiting.
Why
do you all not wanna talk things out? I just talked something out.. I should publish it. But I don't know if I should.
cont.
who needs to feel better than they do already. It's always about the white people, who are taken care of. Mixed people have genes from different races. They could look white if they were allowed.
Why did you just pop up again and act like you have dominion over me? Anyway..
You all can't do this to me. You are just nasty. You're telling me I'm shit! Why? I just said it. Stop acting like I am bad and talking back to me.
I'm sorry if anyone was offended, but I also got attacked. They are also playing around acting like different people. It doesn't matter, but it was a mean message. I guess the message matters.
Are you trying to jeopardize things for me? Why get in my life like that, like I can't take care of myself? My therapist brought it out in me. I can. Are you acting differently trying to help someone? I said you all should look after yourselves. Why defend each other from me? You all attacked me. I am just talking about it on my blog. You sure don't know much about what goes on in blogging.
Why did you just pop up again and act like you have dominion over me? Anyway..
You all can't do this to me. You are just nasty. You're telling me I'm shit! Why? I just said it. Stop acting like I am bad and talking back to me.
I'm sorry if anyone was offended, but I also got attacked. They are also playing around acting like different people. It doesn't matter, but it was a mean message. I guess the message matters.
Are you trying to jeopardize things for me? Why get in my life like that, like I can't take care of myself? My therapist brought it out in me. I can. Are you acting differently trying to help someone? I said you all should look after yourselves. Why defend each other from me? You all attacked me. I am just talking about it on my blog. You sure don't know much about what goes on in blogging.
More
They are wasting my life with negativity over me. How does anyone accept this blaming you? You can't negate something like what I just said. This never happened before. I don't see it happening to anyone else. It's like I was downgraded after a year in college. I don't want to become a dummy listening to this. They are acting like I did all this stuff I didn't. You know your place.
I hope this message does not reach the wrong person. Sorry if anyone innocent is offended or whatever.
Why should I say what they said? They'll just say more. xp This is like being held hostage/captive.
What if I meant what I said but in a different way than you think?
So there, I say sorry and this is the best I can do to talk about this. It seems like it's become a random pop in my life, like it's okay for them to be mean and I have to be extra introverted about it.
Why do you think I care? Do you want me to talk about it? I don't think you even care about what you just said. You all just have to bother me periodically. I'd rather be occupied or resting. I can't seem to relax.
You think I start the hate, I just wanna get on with my life. People always said I was the opposite of how you treat me. You all are cruel racially as far as
:(
I hope this message does not reach the wrong person. Sorry if anyone innocent is offended or whatever.
Why should I say what they said? They'll just say more. xp This is like being held hostage/captive.
What if I meant what I said but in a different way than you think?
So there, I say sorry and this is the best I can do to talk about this. It seems like it's become a random pop in my life, like it's okay for them to be mean and I have to be extra introverted about it.
Why do you think I care? Do you want me to talk about it? I don't think you even care about what you just said. You all just have to bother me periodically. I'd rather be occupied or resting. I can't seem to relax.
You think I start the hate, I just wanna get on with my life. People always said I was the opposite of how you treat me. You all are cruel racially as far as
:(
So More..
I guess I'll try to nap, again. What do you think of my dad wanting to stimulate me after all these years? It's like a *** session, tho. People usually kill people they r***. I don't mean to suggest bad things about him, tho. I just mean I didn't really like how it felt to a large degree, like my mom barging in my room. Actually, it's stopped me up from feeling certain ways. It just seemed so cruel.
Sorry?
For what now?
Sorry I don't want revenge on me? Is it a price or what it seems like, a game?
I mean no one no harm, tho! Never did!!
What's with this 10 years?
Sorry I don't want revenge on me? Is it a price or what it seems like, a game?
I mean no one no harm, tho! Never did!!
What's with this 10 years?
My Lesson
I don't do bad things often. I think people just want to hurt me for it, not totally bad.. I should forget about it and see whatever others break out and do. That's actually a problem I need to talk about so nothing bad pops up.
There are people out there who like me and think I am nice. Why punish me so much with so much joy for one little thing? You can't get mad at a person like that like that!
There are people out there who like me and think I am nice. Why punish me so much with so much joy for one little thing? You can't get mad at a person like that like that!
A A A A A A men A A A A men
Aa Men
The church was so lovely, felt like a place I grew up in. I would look at the pictures across from the choir loft. There was a balcony and a cool organ on the alter.
It had a certain smell. It was very nice. I loved being in like an important choir. The one thing the adult choir loves is the kids's choir.
The church was so lovely, felt like a place I grew up in. I would look at the pictures across from the choir loft. There was a balcony and a cool organ on the alter.
It had a certain smell. It was very nice. I loved being in like an important choir. The one thing the adult choir loves is the kids's choir.
Ah, my love!
Saint Augustine! Have you been there? No? Well, then, let's go....
It probably brings dreamy memories to the attentive eye. People tell me no on race like they sacrificed something to be as crappy as they are, aha ha ha! I mean they don't accept I am special from there. I don't get into reenactments, give up ballet..
The bay was beautiful, nice and cozy, yet a part of the beach. There are lovely roads in there. There are nice ways. I know it like inside and out if I am there, the feel.
It probably brings dreamy memories to the attentive eye. People tell me no on race like they sacrificed something to be as crappy as they are, aha ha ha! I mean they don't accept I am special from there. I don't get into reenactments, give up ballet..
The bay was beautiful, nice and cozy, yet a part of the beach. There are lovely roads in there. There are nice ways. I know it like inside and out if I am there, the feel.
Sorry
if I was offensive. I'm thinking of something small I let out.
Also, I just was like ripping thru in anger about people revenging me.
The thing about my dad made me writhe in wonder about what was going on.
So sorry, but I had to send out a signal, keep a record, tho not as good as it could be. :(
Also, I just was like ripping thru in anger about people revenging me.
The thing about my dad made me writhe in wonder about what was going on.
So sorry, but I had to send out a signal, keep a record, tho not as good as it could be. :(
What is the problem?
What is it about my dad?
And what's with the black stripe I saw on my computer?
I think that this is foolish and unforgivable. I saw the people at my college just lose it and kick me out of classes where I did nothing to break the rules. It's been 10 years. I didn't do anything to be punished. People just come on to me all the time, and I am gonna figure out how to get back at the unforgivable.
I am not gonna read into constant messages that start out as an insult in an unfavorable contained environment. I'm not staying on the ship.
Is this the best you can do? Trap me in a cheap living area with whom I'm with?? Getting mad at the slightest thing when I've done too much already? There are other things to do than to lie about and pick on me.
I think I'm not talking to nor about anyone. I guess it started with my dad. He tried to stimulate me, and I'm writhing on my sofa. You know it's illegal?
My point is 2 things. Why is my dad being brought into my life all annoying and dysfunctional, and what is the plan to get revenge on me.. no civilized talking to me, just trying to stay "in" and popular and getting at me for what I write on my blog.
My dad I think goes about his work, but then when he sees me it's like he won't acknowledge me like a person. There's constant battles at me for simply what I turn around in my head.
Have I said anything I oughtn't? What's really hanging over me? I plan to take dance at college in the summer and on until I finish if I feel up to it. I wanted to work in a coffee shop. I caught wind you need to be in field, like I wanna do dancing and singing, but like the dancing requires more training with me now if I wanna get in musical theater ever. I'm 28, seems like a good thing to chase. I sing, too, on my own, and possibly one day again private lessons. The dance degree I'd finish by the end of next summer.
I'm so sorry for what I've said or done. Please forgive me. It's not totally rash, so I left it up and maybe it will touch someone out there and I will get help. I'd prefer not to have to post these things. I just wanted to know why people keep shoving my dad too close to me and ruining it. Also, I felt hatred I guess and people wanting me to be revenged on. I'm truly worried about it. It seems silly. I am a nice person. So what if I mess up? I probably didn't mean it, or something. Maybe, I wanted to look cute. I didn't know it was that bad. I look out for myself, too, including my dwindling health everyone is so keen on with me getting out of sync so.
So, I'm sorry this is not okay, but I tried to be nice. A bad word came to mind. The fact anyone wants revenge on me made me very mad. All these things people see me for and don't see me for, it shouldn't be an issue now. I said sorry. People actually do things to me but things that others do, too.
I hope this does not jeopardize my sensitive situation. :( You should really look out for yourself, you all.
OK, so sorry. I don't know what to do about what I wrote. I tried to be nice about it. Do I accept it? I see there are reasons, so I guess it's weird. About the revenge.. I mean it's not a joke? I feel I am a joke. O well. My room isn't clean. I saw a dog I wanted today. I need another shelf to clean. I'm worried about things and people. What did I do wrong technically? I know you like to calculate to a clean finish. What is the revenge? I am wondering and shudder to think of how this came up. Why isn't sorry enough? Are a lot of events planned? I think some people are lying about me and threatening me, too, tho. Like, they say I'm all these bad things, and I have no reassurance from anyone, who believe me to be shit naturally.
Did I waste time posting? I should at least say what is the problem about my dad and why do I sense revenge at me when people all say they'd like never get mad at me? or have at least at a time it felt. I don't hold a record of crime. People are criminal to my sense of stability and ability to focus. I grew up in a quiet home, at 1st. So what about 1 thing? You think everyone who is good who messes up should be locked up? I will not take these arguments anymore. I can't get them to stop, tho! I said what I said, make a match. Not just the same thing I negated. Getting mad about something from 15-20 years ago???? What about my wasted years? What can I do? I shouldn't be poked at like this for the sake of other people. It's like other people want me to look bad so they look good and say when they are bad never matters. It doesn't matter who they are.
I don't mean to be mean. I came here to ask that question and up comes the other issue.
So, sorry, tried to explain myself. If something is wrong, why can't I fix it? I can take back what I did I cannot be suddenly "grounded for life." I think what you all do is a pity. You all don't realize I already feel this way and keep coming back for more. Some people think they can treat me like a slave. No, I do not believe the bad parts about being Chinese are good. I should not be treated as such. No one does that! This is just another waste of time, 1 more reason I don't feel like watching Ellen, just feel bothered. She puts the Chinese in place but is scared of blacks, I feel/think. I like her and her show, I don't know why I haven't watched this week.
I'm just really sorry I am so stupid but must post my feelings and problems. I want help, and it might relay to people in the world and spread in micro-molecules. So sorry, ya'll. I mean no harm! :(
The point was what is wrong? Sorry it is not so presentable. Most people don't have a problem with me like this, I know, too, so that's interesting.
:(
And what's with the black stripe I saw on my computer?
I think that this is foolish and unforgivable. I saw the people at my college just lose it and kick me out of classes where I did nothing to break the rules. It's been 10 years. I didn't do anything to be punished. People just come on to me all the time, and I am gonna figure out how to get back at the unforgivable.
I am not gonna read into constant messages that start out as an insult in an unfavorable contained environment. I'm not staying on the ship.
Is this the best you can do? Trap me in a cheap living area with whom I'm with?? Getting mad at the slightest thing when I've done too much already? There are other things to do than to lie about and pick on me.
I think I'm not talking to nor about anyone. I guess it started with my dad. He tried to stimulate me, and I'm writhing on my sofa. You know it's illegal?
My point is 2 things. Why is my dad being brought into my life all annoying and dysfunctional, and what is the plan to get revenge on me.. no civilized talking to me, just trying to stay "in" and popular and getting at me for what I write on my blog.
My dad I think goes about his work, but then when he sees me it's like he won't acknowledge me like a person. There's constant battles at me for simply what I turn around in my head.
Have I said anything I oughtn't? What's really hanging over me? I plan to take dance at college in the summer and on until I finish if I feel up to it. I wanted to work in a coffee shop. I caught wind you need to be in field, like I wanna do dancing and singing, but like the dancing requires more training with me now if I wanna get in musical theater ever. I'm 28, seems like a good thing to chase. I sing, too, on my own, and possibly one day again private lessons. The dance degree I'd finish by the end of next summer.
I'm so sorry for what I've said or done. Please forgive me. It's not totally rash, so I left it up and maybe it will touch someone out there and I will get help. I'd prefer not to have to post these things. I just wanted to know why people keep shoving my dad too close to me and ruining it. Also, I felt hatred I guess and people wanting me to be revenged on. I'm truly worried about it. It seems silly. I am a nice person. So what if I mess up? I probably didn't mean it, or something. Maybe, I wanted to look cute. I didn't know it was that bad. I look out for myself, too, including my dwindling health everyone is so keen on with me getting out of sync so.
So, I'm sorry this is not okay, but I tried to be nice. A bad word came to mind. The fact anyone wants revenge on me made me very mad. All these things people see me for and don't see me for, it shouldn't be an issue now. I said sorry. People actually do things to me but things that others do, too.
I hope this does not jeopardize my sensitive situation. :( You should really look out for yourself, you all.
OK, so sorry. I don't know what to do about what I wrote. I tried to be nice about it. Do I accept it? I see there are reasons, so I guess it's weird. About the revenge.. I mean it's not a joke? I feel I am a joke. O well. My room isn't clean. I saw a dog I wanted today. I need another shelf to clean. I'm worried about things and people. What did I do wrong technically? I know you like to calculate to a clean finish. What is the revenge? I am wondering and shudder to think of how this came up. Why isn't sorry enough? Are a lot of events planned? I think some people are lying about me and threatening me, too, tho. Like, they say I'm all these bad things, and I have no reassurance from anyone, who believe me to be shit naturally.
Did I waste time posting? I should at least say what is the problem about my dad and why do I sense revenge at me when people all say they'd like never get mad at me? or have at least at a time it felt. I don't hold a record of crime. People are criminal to my sense of stability and ability to focus. I grew up in a quiet home, at 1st. So what about 1 thing? You think everyone who is good who messes up should be locked up? I will not take these arguments anymore. I can't get them to stop, tho! I said what I said, make a match. Not just the same thing I negated. Getting mad about something from 15-20 years ago???? What about my wasted years? What can I do? I shouldn't be poked at like this for the sake of other people. It's like other people want me to look bad so they look good and say when they are bad never matters. It doesn't matter who they are.
I don't mean to be mean. I came here to ask that question and up comes the other issue.
So, sorry, tried to explain myself. If something is wrong, why can't I fix it? I can take back what I did I cannot be suddenly "grounded for life." I think what you all do is a pity. You all don't realize I already feel this way and keep coming back for more. Some people think they can treat me like a slave. No, I do not believe the bad parts about being Chinese are good. I should not be treated as such. No one does that! This is just another waste of time, 1 more reason I don't feel like watching Ellen, just feel bothered. She puts the Chinese in place but is scared of blacks, I feel/think. I like her and her show, I don't know why I haven't watched this week.
I'm just really sorry I am so stupid but must post my feelings and problems. I want help, and it might relay to people in the world and spread in micro-molecules. So sorry, ya'll. I mean no harm! :(
The point was what is wrong? Sorry it is not so presentable. Most people don't have a problem with me like this, I know, too, so that's interesting.
:(
I think I'm losing it.
I'll just be on my way and whatever comes comes. It's so hard to get these things outta my mind at the time.
Quit
bringing up problems of the past. You could make me mad more and more easily.
There was a joke that my eyes were blue as a baby. I don't find it cool on me, neither.. I imagined my dad's blue eyes with someone else's. Not great. So, don't push me around and keep poking me down the hole. Why would I be told to be like my dad in ways I don't want? I am a good person, already. I am not my family. And I am 28 and vulnerable.
What I imagined was twisted. It came to me, I didn't come to it.
Problem
What are these constant problems I am facing?
Ever since this one week I screamed and hit my sofa every day, M-F, my dad has voluntarily tried to stimulate me with positioning his arm/s a certain way. That should not even be that kind of possibility in Hell. I am not bedazzzled. He just has too many problems and won't quit ruining what I'd have in life! If you back away at the shallow end, you will never surf the waves.
Ever since this one week I screamed and hit my sofa every day, M-F, my dad has voluntarily tried to stimulate me with positioning his arm/s a certain way. That should not even be that kind of possibility in Hell. I am not bedazzzled. He just has too many problems and won't quit ruining what I'd have in life! If you back away at the shallow end, you will never surf the waves.
Sorry
My dad was acting weirdly wanting something and I thought no to something about it but was too astounded to agree to yes, thinking he was a dishonest copycat who didn't know anything about his place, in a way, :( .
Supportive of Others
I am supportive of other fans of people I follow. I just know people are literally ransacking me about its glory. I'm just saying. I feel I was just glared at and frowned at and I'm just sitting at my computer. This is not for everyone, but some people might be interested, a lotta people I think it seems for some reason. I wonder how they stay happy if they are in more menial positions. I feel I should be there but am not well to do it and not encouraged to, therein.
Was Looking Over
I am asked to leave people alone, but people won't leave me alone. Instead, they are mean to me. I know. I know this stuff I see in public is a play on me. It happens all the time. I don't mean to say anyone should feel this.
My Singing
It sounds better here than on my cell. I think the medicine makes me lethargic. My mom said I can get off it if I move out. My psychiatrist said I could ask another psychiatrist to help me off the meds.
What is it..
..that being mean to me is the desirable word in? You can't live in fear. You can live without me, tho. You already kinda have.
It's not like I don't know
Little things are being done to hurt me and I have no peace of mind. I get bombarded with secret insults from annoying people.
Imagine some young lady getting all pissed and cursing about others as she goes about her day.
Imagine some young lady getting all pissed and cursing about others as she goes about her day.
So
I don't mean to bother anyone, but why am I always in trouble? You all have no right to lie to me and treat me that way.
Worried
They threatened to kill someone cuz a car made me turn my head this morning.
Now, they said to kill me! Why do they think they can talk to me like that?
Now, they said to kill me! Why do they think they can talk to me like that?
I wonder who else
looks up Sarah Brightman concerts, like the tours that don't get sold on tape. Who knows! There are more views this year now she's in Europe. That can only mean a good thing.
Time
I feel I have a strange experience checking for Sarah Brightman online. Who knows, she may quit one day or when she's in space we'll see if it's really her.
Happy but Hurt
I want other people to experience the relationships I've had in the limelight, so-to-speak.
Talking.. Where It Went Wrong
Well, for Bella, I feel as though she wanted to get me in trouble and treat me that way like my dad.
Something Else That Is Unforgiveabe
I'm not going thru a ritual of punishment. I didn't do anything. What you think I did doesn't even deserve that. I could tell the police. Too bad I have a history of mental illness and hospitalization, lies.
Insults
You all keep acting insulting to me. They said my apologies were worthless.
Do you want me to say I feel offended, like Bella is taking my place in some obscure way and like people think I should be in trouble?
What am I supposed to say I am sorry for? I'm not bowing to Bella.
Do you want me to say I feel offended, like Bella is taking my place in some obscure way and like people think I should be in trouble?
What am I supposed to say I am sorry for? I'm not bowing to Bella.
My Life
My dad has always seemed suggestive to me racially and now lives in the style that I am definitely in trouble when I didn't do anything worth that. A car wooshed by sounding like my being nice to Bella Thorne was worthless because it was an overstatement, tho I feel pushed to give her undivided attention.
Friday, November 21, 2014
You know when you go for some thing
or sorta bet on it and nothing good comes of it a long time, your resource are drained? You don't really feel as alive as you can be.
I will not take this.
The messages are stimulating me I find when I'm like about to get up. I didn't do anything wrong. You all need to stop. All these people about. Also, why is my dad invading me it seems, like he's hanging over me? He's perpetuating this. He was perturbed out.
Well!
Apology and My Congratulations
to you Bella
I didn't want to linger on anything, but my dad seemed to bring it up in secret message.
I guess you can see for real 1 fact that there are more than 1 person in your life and you shouldn't keep taking shots at things being an unreality.
to you Bella
I didn't want to linger on anything, but my dad seemed to bring it up in secret message.
I guess you can see for real 1 fact that there are more than 1 person in your life and you shouldn't keep taking shots at things being an unreality.
Stress
It must be stressful to know that the person you don't want is the one who has time to check up on you online. It's better for that person to be occupied.
cont.
So sorry about my seeming illiteracy.
Sorry if I have been rude.
I will add I am joyous over what people are telling me is happening to that wonderful girl who probably needs to stay away from me cuz she must judge me if she ever reads my Tweets. I am a normal person, but being 1/2 Chinese people back off and play with me in the limelight.
Sorry if I have been rude.
I will add I am joyous over what people are telling me is happening to that wonderful girl who probably needs to stay away from me cuz she must judge me if she ever reads my Tweets. I am a normal person, but being 1/2 Chinese people back off and play with me in the limelight.
cont.
It's like it's an icebreaker topic for us all.
I am happy for what they have proven. I just don't want to be the one who gets it the best. I want a lot of people.
I am happy for what they have proven. I just don't want to be the one who gets it the best. I want a lot of people.
Things
So, I am dying my hair Dark Ash Brown. Darkest Brown looks black against my pale, white face.
Can anyone explain to me how to tell one person they don't matter and bother them about one person wanting someone all to themselves, like Pink an her racecar husband, hardly the same, and their child Willow.
Can anyone explain to me how to tell one person they don't matter and bother them about one person wanting someone all to themselves, like Pink an her racecar husband, hardly the same, and their child Willow.
What a crazy few days.
Why would I over and over prostrate myself vying over someone else for the same thing over me? Am I okay with what someone else does that pertains to themselves?!.. That's not to ask then and proves in general things like that that they are done to waste time and not go forward nor leave a spot, which is also up to you and means more than one thing at one time.
I'm so sorry it's been so hectic.
I am not taking any future punishment for something innocent from the past. These criminal people are so fascinated by that, too.
I'm so sorry it's been so hectic.
I am not taking any future punishment for something innocent from the past. These criminal people are so fascinated by that, too.
With the word..
..I just told myself why it must have come up. I don't use that word on purpose like others did when I was growing up, their parents I heard. I didn't really think it purposely. That happens. It needs to stop. I used to think other curse words cuz I was surrounded by it at school a lot. :(
I'm so sorry.. I hope my day goes well now.
I'm so sorry.. I hope my day goes well now.
My Kind
agrees. I don't give a snoot about your failed lives as far as you being jealous and mean of others who have it hard themselves. Tell about it on the internet rather than holding back or fix it you idle people! I cared and care very much about people like this but I also believe in people who do the right thing. You have no right.. People like me, which are not all successful at life, agree you can't just say you can hurt me all the time cuz you're jealous of my heritage and wanna say I don't deserve it for my race.
I mean..
..why would you do that? I wasn't mad in particular, but I mean it was rubbing in something. What am I supposed to do, pay?
Forgiveness
You may not forgive me, but I feel much better now but vulnerable to stimulation.
Hm.. Well, other people are mean all the time for fun. That's very bad. I don't know why that word was in my mind. I don't know, I was just really hurt when they did that. It hurt my feelings, and they used someone and something special to punish me, leaving them vulnerable in the end, "like it or not."
Hm.. Well, other people are mean all the time for fun. That's very bad. I don't know why that word was in my mind. I don't know, I was just really hurt when they did that. It hurt my feelings, and they used someone and something special to punish me, leaving them vulnerable in the end, "like it or not."
Control
I thought of what does this say, and it said something bad. Then, they rubbed in I was not someone's daughter for some reason and then then that someone else was. I know they are doing it to punish me. I will not relay to this treatment. I'm sorry I got upset, but it was the way they were bothering me. No one does that to you. I'll try to stay okay when I'm really mad, already. So sorry. I understand if I must be suspended from something.
Yes
I'm dying my hair right now. I wanted to look like my generation. We'll see what happens. If I get famous, I think I may dye it dark brown (like black.) I might do that soon.
Well..
I guess just I'll keep on. If my parents are upset, so be it. I can try to ignore it, can't I?
Upset
Why does my mom think all of a sudden she is more European than me?
I tried to ignore the signs, but it sunk in. I see it forms a sentence. Not that she's more European, just what the message was.
I was pretty good. Something made her upset.
I tried to ignore the signs, but it sunk in. I see it forms a sentence. Not that she's more European, just what the message was.
I was pretty good. Something made her upset.
Sorry
I was joking around about who Sarah Brightman was better at singing than. It was a joke to my counselor. I asked who she thought sang better. She didn't have an answer.
She had told me that he was a greater singer than me.
My theater and speeking theater taught me singing one summer and asked if I liked Jackie Evancho, all of us having Pennsylvanian heritage. Well, I think she sings very seriously. As for if I met Sarah Brightman, I had thought I couldn't really see myself confronting her because she is legend and how and how much.
She had told me that he was a greater singer than me.
My theater and speeking theater taught me singing one summer and asked if I liked Jackie Evancho, all of us having Pennsylvanian heritage. Well, I think she sings very seriously. As for if I met Sarah Brightman, I had thought I couldn't really see myself confronting her because she is legend and how and how much.
Hair
So, I think I am going to dye it to look like a teenager. Then, I will add watching Ellen to my list again. I hope it dyes over..
More Mum
I guess I should be more mum about experiences in life that are not meant for situations like this.
Very Hard
For me to just get mad and not feel viscous. It was wrong, but I'm always much worse. I am definitely close to better on this personal journey of mine.
Scheule
Don't count on my watching Ellen. I will tell you when. I don't know if I'll just pop in or if I'll tell 1st, in addition. Hope that does not matter.
So, you can tell me..
What should I do that I'm holding back against being told? I bet my dad wants it as a test.
Do you think I am nasty? This is very stressful. I don't mind if someone naturally doesn't want anything to do with me, but I don't like people tricking me and making it hard and telling me what I really wanted to mean.
Do you think I am nasty? This is very stressful. I don't mind if someone naturally doesn't want anything to do with me, but I don't like people tricking me and making it hard and telling me what I really wanted to mean.
cont.
He just keeps sending out nasty messages and smiling about it to fit in in Orlando. He ruins my relationship with others by studying me since I was little, and I find him being mean sick.
Confrontation
I do not accept what my dad did. He is a constant distraction and awful interpreter of meaning of when I get mad and rightly so as anyone. I calm down in the end and get bothered more for no reason.
I'll only wait to see him again today.. :( to see what mean things he has to think, mean, yes, that's a fact, not a insult.
He lives for cheating to get on the winning side and is to hold a reserve to me. I found he was doing something to me people aren't supposed to do last night. He sees me and bothers me. How will I become a performing artist now?
I'll only wait to see him again today.. :( to see what mean things he has to think, mean, yes, that's a fact, not a insult.
He lives for cheating to get on the winning side and is to hold a reserve to me. I found he was doing something to me people aren't supposed to do last night. He sees me and bothers me. How will I become a performing artist now?
Sorry
I wasn't the one who did anything unless you're interpreting last night, but I hope you'll accept my apology and go on with your own life. I do like talking to some people, but I wonder if they are frustrated about me.
Was it wrong of me to get mad at all. I felt that sparks or something were flying. I really think if I wanna get mad about being called the n word no one bother me. Wait, what? Whatever. I was stupid no to think there was a reason..
So what? You all are to picky if you notice I got mad about me being called something bad. I am hearing things that are hurting me. Did you hear what I just said? I was just dealing with my feelings again, and people come along and hurt me more for it. You were to not be mad about last night. I did not mean anything bad. It just came out that way with my parents glaring in my presence. :( I am not being sarcastic! for an effect, like everyone else does and ruins the American language! The "!" is not being sarcastic, neither! It fits.
Was it wrong of me to get mad at all. I felt that sparks or something were flying. I really think if I wanna get mad about being called the n word no one bother me. Wait, what? Whatever. I was stupid no to think there was a reason..
So what? You all are to picky if you notice I got mad about me being called something bad. I am hearing things that are hurting me. Did you hear what I just said? I was just dealing with my feelings again, and people come along and hurt me more for it. You were to not be mad about last night. I did not mean anything bad. It just came out that way with my parents glaring in my presence. :( I am not being sarcastic! for an effect, like everyone else does and ruins the American language! The "!" is not being sarcastic, neither! It fits.
I notice
I'm being tested. When someone is mean to me, they "check" to see if I get upset back. I see people on the streets with this attitude to me all too much. What can I make of it. I hate it. What of people I know doing it, I figured they were copying, yet I cannot even get upset of being like humiliated. What if people just keep going? I see they do that. Just have to accept it yet ignore it and it should go away.
Upset
I'll try not to get mad like that, but it's not like other people get called the n word like that. I don't want to feel bad all day about it. There's nothing wrong with saying so. Why call me the n word? I have to accept that? Why are they harassing me about everything? I said I'll go along, but I can't really support it other than that it may be a buffer and not really matter in and of itself.. :( Is this some sort of joke? If you don't like me, you don't have to concern yourself about me. Lotta people seem to like me..which is good.. The thing is I didn't really hurt anyone nor think of it. I was just trying to deal with it. :( I guess I will try to ignore it. Sometimes, it seems it has suspicious motives. In the end, there must be a reason, but why can't I seem to forget about it?
I figured
It was just being scared of being threatened by my dad. So, I accepted it in the end for what is was but you know something like that? It was a bit weird. I guess it might be a sign of safety. I feel as though someone could be laughing at me for things like this. I don't know what to make of it, but I do not go along myself. I am sorry I was so mad, but it was clean. I didn't think of hurting anyone, I think. Don't you think it's wrong to call someone that? I guess it was an ice breaker.
Good Morning
So, I woke up to being called something by little noises in my house supposedly/pretending from someone, for thinking I'd be unbothered if my dad got sick like my mom with cancer, which led me to believe I should move.
So, they called me the n word.
So, they called me the n word.
Thursday, November 20, 2014
So..
Where are all the fans? Shouldn't there be a roster available?
The funny thing about being the only one is that you can also be an only one. I never wanted that.
The funny thing about being the only one is that you can also be an only one. I never wanted that.
I am so happy.
Most aren't.
Should I dig into why.. it feels as though we are being judged when we are not even famous.
Should I dig into why.. it feels as though we are being judged when we are not even famous.
cont.
I feel as though I am unaccepted and being mistreated. Notice I haven't been attentive to Ellen, neither.
Weird.
So, again, does anyone know about the girl from Pembroke Pines, FL, who was born with red hair and white skin who has a Latino dad and an Italian/Irish mom and a supportive older sister named Bella Thorne?
So, what if someone else comes along who wants to be treated like her? It seems like the rest of us are getting told down, and I hear it in the outcry. I'm kinda in the same boat, I guess.
So, what if someone else comes along who wants to be treated like her? It seems like the rest of us are getting told down, and I hear it in the outcry. I'm kinda in the same boat, I guess.
Talk Talk Talk Talk - Talk Talk Talk Talk
Sorry, I had to go to sleep last night, have somewhere to go. I think I lost it again.
From what I recall, I'm sorry I was so vicious it seemed, but I didn't mean it that way.
I do not like being tested to listen to insults, threats, and lies and not be allowed to react a little even like. Something about it seems wrong. xp Duh, tho, yea. Should not happen to people. In some ways they are trying to help and are a low resource, though.
So, sorry. I guess I shouldn't delete/edit it. I could unpublish them, but I guess I technically stayed "in."
It was a thing from the past. I just don't listen to these people. I will report to the police a sense of any threat, like someone can't be nice to me cuz they are scared of my Gramma. That just isn't right. I think they want to punish me to remind me cuz other things in life await. They weren't taking away my favorite most important things before.
It's true, I was not stupid enough to wanna break my computer, tho. Now, I have bottled water on a little table that's next to me. What else could happen? :0
I'm very sorry if I was not supposed to at all talk anything out.. I think I should say something, though, about what bothered me but went too far, which is understandable, to get it right.
I think I have the right to say this and if not is for my own good and is not to be punished.
From what I recall, I'm sorry I was so vicious it seemed, but I didn't mean it that way.
I do not like being tested to listen to insults, threats, and lies and not be allowed to react a little even like. Something about it seems wrong. xp Duh, tho, yea. Should not happen to people. In some ways they are trying to help and are a low resource, though.
So, sorry. I guess I shouldn't delete/edit it. I could unpublish them, but I guess I technically stayed "in."
It was a thing from the past. I just don't listen to these people. I will report to the police a sense of any threat, like someone can't be nice to me cuz they are scared of my Gramma. That just isn't right. I think they want to punish me to remind me cuz other things in life await. They weren't taking away my favorite most important things before.
It's true, I was not stupid enough to wanna break my computer, tho. Now, I have bottled water on a little table that's next to me. What else could happen? :0
I'm very sorry if I was not supposed to at all talk anything out.. I think I should say something, though, about what bothered me but went too far, which is understandable, to get it right.
I think I have the right to say this and if not is for my own good and is not to be punished.
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Readers..
What's wrong with what I said? No, I will not accept that you called me "not crap" and "crap.." I didn't go all out and go batshit crazy. I was taking about things. That's what you do for plenty of reasons.. a problem will be seen more easily, you don't have to get mad but be informative.. What a waste of time explaining this load.
Trust Me
That was real shit. I'm talking to my blog readers and the stars in the sky. I'm warning them about the truth. I didn't sit here and diss them cuz I don't care..
Problem
My Gramma ruined my mom's laptop. Now, she wants to move on to my brother. Why call or visit her?
Problem
Why do we need "shit?"
On the drive home, my dad made it feel like m***********, and I feel he's putting something there now and being all loony with it. I thought my day with him was rather well. Then, this?
On the drive home, my dad made it feel like m***********, and I feel he's putting something there now and being all loony with it. I thought my day with him was rather well. Then, this?
Um, excuse me.
The water was an accident, and you were all being mean to me. So what if it wasn't an accident? What if there was a reason? Nah. It was an accident. It was because you all were then being mean. I'm just going thru stuff. I don't wanna roll over in bed about this.
Attacked
They are doing some things that get to me, I think someone g** is being selfish. I'm just saying. It's like I woke up at a slumber party.
I'm serious about how stupid this is.
What do you want me to bow down on the floor to you?
They keep bothering me. Oh well, it's not anyone's mind to make up.
What did I say wrong? Just the fact I said something stirs people up. I didn't go out big. I just keep begging for this to be right. This is a bit radical and unnecessary, really.
What do you want me to bow down on the floor to you?
They keep bothering me. Oh well, it's not anyone's mind to make up.
What did I say wrong? Just the fact I said something stirs people up. I didn't go out big. I just keep begging for this to be right. This is a bit radical and unnecessary, really.
Apology
I apologize I came off the wrong way. I have shizophrenia, suppoedly. I hope this doesn't stick out. I only had a few things to touch base on. I was apologetically explaining myself.
I don't care what anyone says. I'm not afraid. I don't care. This is life.
It does seem related to what I was upset over in something of a subconscious. Okay, they said I would not be "picked up." Erm, I would be worried if that happens in some way. It would give me an o*****. I dunno, I just find that sensitive because sometimes it's a fantasy like.
I don't care what anyone says. I'm not afraid. I don't care. This is life.
It does seem related to what I was upset over in something of a subconscious. Okay, they said I would not be "picked up." Erm, I would be worried if that happens in some way. It would give me an o*****. I dunno, I just find that sensitive because sometimes it's a fantasy like.
Threatened
I see they strung issues together.
Just talking on my blog.. I will not listen to the secret messages. What were they? I don't remember.
How can I continue with people telling me what things mean and constantly blocking out the feeling.
You just have to understand these things don't effect one another. It's something bad to fix, not something good to make worse.
I mean, I can post about it on my blog, period. I don't care what you say in Hell.
Oh, did my writing come off as a shouting e-mail? No, I just write that way. I have before and still do. I use curse words to be funny!
I just wanted to say I sense a lot of wasting of time and wondering why I can communicate this.
Just talking on my blog.. I will not listen to the secret messages. What were they? I don't remember.
How can I continue with people telling me what things mean and constantly blocking out the feeling.
You just have to understand these things don't effect one another. It's something bad to fix, not something good to make worse.
I mean, I can post about it on my blog, period. I don't care what you say in Hell.
Oh, did my writing come off as a shouting e-mail? No, I just write that way. I have before and still do. I use curse words to be funny!
I just wanted to say I sense a lot of wasting of time and wondering why I can communicate this.
What did we do?
Why don't you stop being mean?
Do you think I wanted to spill water? It just overcame me. It didn't even really go in the holes. Maybe, it was the 6th sense striking again. This computer is better.
Do you think I wanted to spill water? It just overcame me. It didn't even really go in the holes. Maybe, it was the 6th sense striking again. This computer is better.
The End
Well, I don't think I'm bad. I have goals in my ends. I do feed off of knowing other people in high places. I don't have many available connections, in general.
I'm getting fed up with the threats constantly for shit reasons and will not put up with this. Why are you acting so smart alec about knowing what you think this means?
Why.. Must all mortal flesh keep silent, for God who loves you is no stranger.
This is pathetic and unheard of. Go pick up the next buggar from the past?
Why.. Must all mortal flesh keep silent, for God who loves you is no stranger.
This is pathetic and unheard of. Go pick up the next buggar from the past?
My Computers
I didn't jeopardize any machine, but these things are too fragile. The water was an accident, I was mad. It didn't even go in the holes. Every time I got water I had to lean over the monitor onto the other big table here in my room, the garage.
Going around?
What effect do you think Sarah Brightman has on me?
I am a bit fed up.. of things being so messed up.
I am a bit fed up.. of things being so messed up.
How often do you get literally punished?
I feel as though Ellen led me to terrorizing my room. I feel punished simply from life.
Schizo-labeled..what next?
I hit the table, not realizing it'd rattle the screen.
I spilled water where I thought there were holes on the monitor.
So, my computer is slowly breaking and I have a tablet, now.
I spilled water where I thought there were holes on the monitor.
So, my computer is slowly breaking and I have a tablet, now.
Back
I just showered. I used Neutrogena today. I also own Pro-Active, my usual. I want to try Fructis.
I just trimmed my nails short, again. I keep them short. I had them longer at times. It probably works well for playing piano. I really dig in there.
I just trimmed my nails short, again. I keep them short. I had them longer at times. It probably works well for playing piano. I really dig in there.
Apology
Did I say something offensive? I also wanted to say I did notice the flip of people being mean to me. It's like I have no rights and I'm talking to a bunch of clowns scaring me. I know you are wrong to get mad at me for saying this and the like. I just was commenting on what's going on, otherwise might be dangerous in other ways.
Question
Isn't it a bother or just a fantasy that fits that we bring up non-singers for unknown reasons when there might be something about singing?
Thanks
Thanks, Tim Burton. We all loved you, but now we're hated for being globs which are dysfunctional.
Look Around
Everyone hates this. People have wanted me to leave Sarah Brightman alone so others "get" her.. no one has hated me for Bella, yet.
Turn Around
It's wrong to tell me I can't say that. I don't get what I can say if she is put there like me to have something to talk about. She should be considered my equal, wherever that will be....
Movie
All the little girls and even boys take to Frozen. They know it's all the talk to be fair in the snow. I grew up thinking it was about being warm,
Interesting?
It seems a lot of my life is orchestrated according to Bella Thorne and joked if it was a joke on me.
This is out.
The scary thing is I think it isn't but in some ways I'm just too stupid to say something better. It's just a reflection of my day.
Let's Dig
What's the result in the end is it can be racist to other celebs like singing their heart out, like Ariana Grande? Why is she left alone and unattacked?
Well, she is nice in person, and that's about all I have to say. People want her to be not nice to some people, too, even. I think it is actually an accomplishment. She can be a sweetheart/angel, too.
I feel people are telling me to like act a certain way, too.
It makes me mad people think I did unforgivable things and use things like this as a tool against me. This doesn't happen to other innocent nor guilty people. You can't sin to live out your racism..
Well, she is nice in person, and that's about all I have to say. People want her to be not nice to some people, too, even. I think it is actually an accomplishment. She can be a sweetheart/angel, too.
I feel people are telling me to like act a certain way, too.
It makes me mad people think I did unforgivable things and use things like this as a tool against me. This doesn't happen to other innocent nor guilty people. You can't sin to live out your racism..
"Danger Caution Warning..
..don't let lies mislead."
A lotta people really detest anyone who gets a lotta attention. I think it's just jealousy and also sinning against others.
A lotta people really detest anyone who gets a lotta attention. I think it's just jealousy and also sinning against others.
Jealous but Not Really
Why should it be all about this one person in this way of the world in general. Lotta babies look like this person, sorta combined with others. I think she is going about like a nice person but killing to be the one. People are making her feel a bit rather overly confident, which is fine with me but maybe not good for her. My problem with her, Bella Thorne, since I will mention her and to be informative is that she just wants to be the one and acts like she has to do it.. My biggest problem is not really a problem yet something funny/peculiar. I just wanted to point it out. I can't seem to satisfy myself, but I know it is inappropriate to some. I'm not saying like change it for me in a way.. but she is made to feel like she's easily the one "in a way I 'don't like.'" It's like people think she's better than me and use her as a tool. I know Ellen DeGeneres does it. She's fun and strict, but I don't think Portia is better than me, just lucky she's European..
How Your HIGH SCHOOL Was Wasted
Everything was about the people in Talented Theater. I wanted to do musical theater in high school but outside of school real theater. I was disappointed to see it was like a handful of people featured talking for like 2 hours. How is that even possible?
My Hopes, Dreams, and Desires
I really hoped there would be a lot of events featuring singing, like the big Andrew Lloyd Webber convention! It seems like they ended it like the Mickey Mouse Club but without tangible reasoning. It's like they think it's gonna totally bomb. Like no one in this world deserves such a simple pleasure. They do feature things in the movie theater of that sentiment.
cont.
There were a lotta roads to walk down if you really look. Downtown is a small town without the outskirts.
We walked a lot, especially down the walkway, a street of old buildings filled with shops and restaurants. We would get a cookie on Fridays walking home. We went to the oldest parish school and church. I think the original monument was burned.
Things got modern in junior high cuz I think a girl with white hair from LA moved here. Everything opened up with things like Titanic.
We walked a lot, especially down the walkway, a street of old buildings filled with shops and restaurants. We would get a cookie on Fridays walking home. We went to the oldest parish school and church. I think the original monument was burned.
Things got modern in junior high cuz I think a girl with white hair from LA moved here. Everything opened up with things like Titanic.
More About Me
I swore to myself I was who I was for living in Saint Augustine, FL, the nation's oldest continuing city, that it made me me. It is preserved and old-fashioned. We lived downtown, technically, and closest of 2 houses to the center mark of the city downtown. Most people, including old friends, live across the bay on an island. We were also closest to the bay, where the fort made of shell and rock is.
The reason it was so important was it made me more European, if you understand that.
The reason it was so important was it made me more European, if you understand that.
Wuzzup
So, I just sang. 4 successful recordings to listen to when I go out like 1/2 of the day of tomorrow.
I learned to play The Phantom of the Opera in less than a day. It has some different sounds.
I am so sad about me and the Ellen show. I watched 1/2 of Friday and walked over 2 hours today and missed Monday, Tuesday, and now today. I had said it'd be an unpredictable week, tho. I hope to catch up in the morning. I need breathing room, Ellen. I don't wanna mess something up now. I dunno, but that came up. I hope to get back in the swing.
I do have dreams to be a famous singer, but I am too old to be great. What happened to Susan Boyle? She sang with Jackie Evancho. That is interesting because so did Sarah Brightman.
All I can say is I have wanted to be a singer a long time, but they tell you at school to work and study school stuff. It is true that my voice used to be less refined but fresher. I took a break at 19 and was kicked outta singing for seeming too inhibited at the end of 1 year. I took a break to save my voice for film.
I learned to play The Phantom of the Opera in less than a day. It has some different sounds.
I am so sad about me and the Ellen show. I watched 1/2 of Friday and walked over 2 hours today and missed Monday, Tuesday, and now today. I had said it'd be an unpredictable week, tho. I hope to catch up in the morning. I need breathing room, Ellen. I don't wanna mess something up now. I dunno, but that came up. I hope to get back in the swing.
I do have dreams to be a famous singer, but I am too old to be great. What happened to Susan Boyle? She sang with Jackie Evancho. That is interesting because so did Sarah Brightman.
All I can say is I have wanted to be a singer a long time, but they tell you at school to work and study school stuff. It is true that my voice used to be less refined but fresher. I took a break at 19 and was kicked outta singing for seeming too inhibited at the end of 1 year. I took a break to save my voice for film.
Apology
I guess my last post on my last blog wasn't so appropriate tho a leap in faith. I hope that joke was appropriate.
I know what's perplexing me.
Why are people like poking a stick in my face wondering if I do like someone I like and them getting attention?
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
How I Am
I am being bombarded with insults and try to be pretty nice yet ignore. Going to bed soon, nowhere to go tomorrow so may catch up on Ellen. Don't count on me watching this week.
People are bugging me all day.
Do I have to like get away? I can't do that. We share a kitchen and people invade my privacy!
I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE
I have my private life, too. You're making me appear all tacky.
WHY ARE YOU TALKING BACK? YOU WERE MEAN TO ME. I DO NOT ACCEPT IT. WHAT'S MY MOM DOING? WHY SHOULD I EVEN CARE TO APOLOGIZE? I WAS BEING BUZZED.
WHY ARE YOU TALKING BACK? YOU WERE MEAN TO ME. I DO NOT ACCEPT IT. WHAT'S MY MOM DOING? WHY SHOULD I EVEN CARE TO APOLOGIZE? I WAS BEING BUZZED.
I didn't go too far.
I got over it, and I'm tired of these people. Don't take it the wrong way.. It was just a buffer cuz I sat down to eat and I guess I was tired or something and wasn't thinking. I guess I was wrong to kid with that word in my head. I really didn't mean it literally. I grew up with people using that word a lot. Their parents.
Well
Now what? I tried to hard to put myself in the right mood.
What do you think about Sarah Brightman? She must be tired.
It's been a long and tumultuous day. I even made all the supper we have.
I don't know why but sometimes I do weird things, but I never emotionally even attacked someone.
I figured I needed to not deny the truth. Why not put the cards on the table? Does my dad have to touch me when he drives?
What do you think about Sarah Brightman? She must be tired.
It's been a long and tumultuous day. I even made all the supper we have.
I don't know why but sometimes I do weird things, but I never emotionally even attacked someone.
I figured I needed to not deny the truth. Why not put the cards on the table? Does my dad have to touch me when he drives?
Why I Am Not Like My Dad
I am a young girl?
He's not like me in a lot of ways. He does things that would not be as attractive on me.
He's not like me in a lot of ways. He does things that would not be as attractive on me.
Help!
They kept having my mom act nasty towards me and it made me upset and lose it in my thoughts. I said the k word about having my dad make me feel him. Like when he drives. My mom just glared bemusedly at me. I meant it as an aside, like not really that word, but I lost it. I changed right after though and learned a new way to cope, by ignoring.
Does anyone wanna talk this out?
Someone died from my high school, and I can't help but wonder though it makes sense otherwise that the people experimenting on me are telling people when to kill themselves just to make me feel bad. Like, they take people I look up to and say they said when to kill them and why.
So, something else came up, like you take people for being popular but mean or just more fortunate socially but not otherwise in certain ways at least.. whom also must be mixed race with a few drops of blood.. that they can be adored by famous people but me being sorta famous where I live can't. I was only a teenager. I was more than just a person, I was an artist. It must be nice to be a real person.
So, something else came up, like you take people for being popular but mean or just more fortunate socially but not otherwise in certain ways at least.. whom also must be mixed race with a few drops of blood.. that they can be adored by famous people but me being sorta famous where I live can't. I was only a teenager. I was more than just a person, I was an artist. It must be nice to be a real person.
Me Nice
I never really attack anyone, but it seems when I mean something else people take away the specifications needed in the definition and say I did something mean and wouldn't even let me say, "Oh, sorry, I don't mean it/anymore." As to what came up is better left unsaid. It's not in every way necessary to begin with. I just was wondering why all the time, people say I "said something" it feels. They used to all say I was sweet, nice, smart, friendly, and as always shy for whatever reason. I'm just more refined in certain ways to myself.. It just seemed like something, so I thought I'd take liberty to point it out. And, if I did something, and say it was on purpose, which I can't see myself doing but can see it being interpreted that way actually.. so how do we make these bad possibilities better.. hm. Some people just sorta put you up to the ledge and not ever go into methods of prevention and understanding. It's not like someone said do such and such and remember and then that's how it usually goes.
What of what made me think to write this? They know! Well, it seems they want me in jail just to teach me a lesson for being good all the time, which doesn't make sense. You actually came into my home and told me I was incompatible with my parents and others. People don't usually come into my home and just see me alone, quite, polite, and doing my work at school at then. So, what of home? My dad greets me in an uncomfortable way, like I have to be fat like him and not skinny like my mom. He said hi kinda like a teddy bear. I've seen other people/person think so, too, viciously, like I have to be like my dad in ways that don't seem compatible to me. It's the same with my mom.
What of what made me think to write this? They know! Well, it seems they want me in jail just to teach me a lesson for being good all the time, which doesn't make sense. You actually came into my home and told me I was incompatible with my parents and others. People don't usually come into my home and just see me alone, quite, polite, and doing my work at school at then. So, what of home? My dad greets me in an uncomfortable way, like I have to be fat like him and not skinny like my mom. He said hi kinda like a teddy bear. I've seen other people/person think so, too, viciously, like I have to be like my dad in ways that don't seem compatible to me. It's the same with my mom.
Does it hurt your feelings more..
..to be reprimanded for little things people track down in your head or if it's something that you actually did, like messed up a room or something or was acting too wildly in a certain situation?
College
I just checked out Juilliard, but I don't know if I'd make it. I know 3 other conservatories, and one I studied organ at.. think I want to try. If you've heard of it, it's Oberlin, "organ heaven."
I checked out the community college, no running, and UCF has running.
I don't know know what's up with the forcing you to sing a certain way in college. That might make me not go. I wonder if private teachers teach at a high enough level. I almost got stuck in private lessons, but the teacher was a theater and speaking person. She seems to just teach in the summer, if that still.
Singing on my own seems to have been working. I'm not sure what the outside help might be, maybe watching Sarah Brightman's concert tour.
I wish I could run on a team. I seem so lazy in exercise on my own. I used to want to do it that way. I thought it would make me more civilized, like boot camp. It does come and go.
I dunno, we'll see, I guess. Maybe, Wednesday, I can make some calls.
I am mostly worried about laundry. I'll have my PJs, exercise clothes, and regular. I'll have to mail an ironing board. I used to hang them up but guess I can in my closet. I'm getting myself into that mindset. I can use those vacuumed plastic bags when I bring my clothes.
In a way, I think practicing at home will work better and I can try again for an agent.. :/
I checked out the community college, no running, and UCF has running.
I don't know know what's up with the forcing you to sing a certain way in college. That might make me not go. I wonder if private teachers teach at a high enough level. I almost got stuck in private lessons, but the teacher was a theater and speaking person. She seems to just teach in the summer, if that still.
Singing on my own seems to have been working. I'm not sure what the outside help might be, maybe watching Sarah Brightman's concert tour.
I wish I could run on a team. I seem so lazy in exercise on my own. I used to want to do it that way. I thought it would make me more civilized, like boot camp. It does come and go.
I dunno, we'll see, I guess. Maybe, Wednesday, I can make some calls.
I am mostly worried about laundry. I'll have my PJs, exercise clothes, and regular. I'll have to mail an ironing board. I used to hang them up but guess I can in my closet. I'm getting myself into that mindset. I can use those vacuumed plastic bags when I bring my clothes.
In a way, I think practicing at home will work better and I can try again for an agent.. :/
Monday, November 17, 2014
Sunday, November 16, 2014
What can I do?
If I knew I hurt my dad's feelings, I wouldn't have done it.. (I said, "Oh, no," when came home for reasons..)
Liars
I have asked and inquired that I am alright in my behavior, and I find everyone "knows" it's not.
I asked my dad, and I told my mom. Something like it, at least.
What do you think is, like, the 1 thing I care about!! I am not dealing with this. But it keeps coming somehow. What about being a hardworking citizen? Am I still pressured there, yes.
This is just me talking. I'm not mad at any innocent person. I'm wondering about my dad and perhaps strangers I don't know about.
I asked my dad, and I told my mom. Something like it, at least.
What do you think is, like, the 1 thing I care about!! I am not dealing with this. But it keeps coming somehow. What about being a hardworking citizen? Am I still pressured there, yes.
This is just me talking. I'm not mad at any innocent person. I'm wondering about my dad and perhaps strangers I don't know about.
My Main Problem
I feel I don't matter because of the pounding attitude the jealous people of Orlando have on me. It's all over, and that's one thing I never wanted and what kept me away from message boards.
I feel no one wants me to relax and be let alone. They turn on when someone attractive gives me some attention, too.
I feel no one wants me to relax and be let alone. They turn on when someone attractive gives me some attention, too.
Tied Up
I still have to watch the last episode of Ellen.
I have laundry to get up and fold, 1 basket.
I have 3 appointments this week and I bus to all 3. xp
As for watching Ellen, I hope I do. I can't tell. It's tiring seeing a therapist each week. I'm not to be trusted.
I have laundry to get up and fold, 1 basket.
I have 3 appointments this week and I bus to all 3. xp
As for watching Ellen, I hope I do. I can't tell. It's tiring seeing a therapist each week. I'm not to be trusted.
Discussion
I did not mean to be mean, but why is it all about this one person's deep, resounding voice, and we get collectively, like, dissed away by those without more authority in a certain way? Like, we go into the room, and we get flipped out?
OK
I applied for Loyola again and for Cross Country and Track, plan just to take music courses for now there so I can do it.
Off for a jog!
Off for a jog!
Well, my real opinion was and is..
..that Bella Thorne has a great voice, but it seems like she drownded us all out. Go her, but I still want my life!
Someone on IMDb said something about her and I brought up this point meaning it seems like the end for us all. That's all, I wanna hear more..
It was a little tacky, and in that way it seemed she was thinking she was mimicking us supposedly like we're that part. She wasn't herself just flat out tacky, though. The message was obvious and weird to describe.
:)
Someone on IMDb said something about her and I brought up this point meaning it seems like the end for us all. That's all, I wanna hear more..
It was a little tacky, and in that way it seemed she was thinking she was mimicking us supposedly like we're that part. She wasn't herself just flat out tacky, though. The message was obvious and weird to describe.
:)
What's it like to live in..
..a school and not have any teachers that touch you? Like, what happens at Christmas?
Saturday, November 15, 2014
How Do You Like to Sleep When You're Drowsy but Not Tired
I'm sprawled out on my sofa. I don't wanna go to bed, but I do.
Sometimes
You accept how crazy some people are.. I don't know if I ever chain caused tragedy. It is the person's fault.
Pathetic?
I feel affected by my dad, too. It goes away sometimes. He's not supposed to do that. I don't know what his problem is. But it seems like everyone is going crazy in and outta Hollywood.
Problem
Why are we all still on that someone could get away with hurting me or whoever. I wasn't even cursing at this person mostly at least, I was cursing about the people bothering me with little noises in my room, ticks and clicks that sound like talking that leave you with a feeling of being stupid. This person acted like she did it, too.
My dad was terribly wrong in how he treated me, and I was afraid I'd curse at Ellen since I watch her etc. so cursed at him instead. I didn't sit there and curse at him himself but at what he did sorta, I guess. These noises would not go away. I have to do something about this.
My dad was terribly wrong in how he treated me, and I was afraid I'd curse at Ellen since I watch her etc. so cursed at him instead. I didn't sit there and curse at him himself but at what he did sorta, I guess. These noises would not go away. I have to do something about this.
Mean People
You are supposed to come out of your shell when someone does something wrong. It's not about testing you to stay mum. Some things are too radical. You can't say all your problems will be solved on a blog. It is best to ignore people as much as possible, even if they somehow come in and immediately upset you, like.
Now More
It does not matter, but it could be making innocent people look guilty. Is anyone out there with a brain thinking people matter one time and then another don't?
Even if you could justify settling to yourself one's death, it was done to separate me from having a life, and there would be more to come.
Why are you saying I am rude?
Anyone out there can you accept that people don't matter if they encourage someone to commit suicide?
Even if you could justify settling to yourself one's death, it was done to separate me from having a life, and there would be more to come.
Why are you saying I am rude?
Anyone out there can you accept that people don't matter if they encourage someone to commit suicide?
911 I must file a comlpaint.
We are supposed to talk out our problems ourselves, like in a journal or on a message board.
So, you kill people so I can't trust you. Something like that? That's unfortuante, but I wonder what is to come. If it matters that you kill people, it matters that we find you and your evil sacrifices. I am not hurting anyone in saying this. I am talking it out!
You listen to my dad throttle that he wants people killed, he wants babies born the wrong way honestly like saying it to make me feel bad in how it is. No one should be doing this. You were all mean to me, not me to you. Sometimes, I joked with my dad, can't you even take that? Or is it just an insult now? There was a time when nothing seemed to matter to anyone like before..
911 I must file a complaint.
So, you kill people so I can't trust you. Something like that? That's unfortuante, but I wonder what is to come. If it matters that you kill people, it matters that we find you and your evil sacrifices. I am not hurting anyone in saying this. I am talking it out!
You listen to my dad throttle that he wants people killed, he wants babies born the wrong way honestly like saying it to make me feel bad in how it is. No one should be doing this. You were all mean to me, not me to you. Sometimes, I joked with my dad, can't you even take that? Or is it just an insult now? There was a time when nothing seemed to matter to anyone like before..
911 I must file a complaint.
Apology
I am so sorry I messed up our communication line. I do not agree that I should sit here and listen to people be mean to me while I have strange restrictions brought upon by others.
I can be sorry it was stupid partly and even maybe mean.
I do not agree I should be punished for nothing and at 28.. That wasn't even in the agreement I sensed.
Best wishes to you, wherever you are.
I can be sorry it was stupid partly and even maybe mean.
I do not agree I should be punished for nothing and at 28.. That wasn't even in the agreement I sensed.
Best wishes to you, wherever you are.
Wrong
I don't think you'll gain anything from all this, you heathen people. Me writing out problems is necessary and not a sin but talk about sin.
We are curious if you killed some people. The police would not believe me, anyway. Why do these people wanna die? What did they gain from doing this? Are they even really dead?
Now, if you are innocent, I tried not to do it in a mean way, but we know someone out there might be killing.
What with all the rudeness? I simply explained how I felt about Bella Thorne and didn't say anything that was really mean, unless you consider her taking everything I earn "mean." I think Ellen doesn't mind harassing me but doesn't want me to achieve elsewhere, in one side of her personality. My dad is an outright liar in what he does because he claims not to be nasty but then he is.
We are curious if you killed some people. The police would not believe me, anyway. Why do these people wanna die? What did they gain from doing this? Are they even really dead?
Now, if you are innocent, I tried not to do it in a mean way, but we know someone out there might be killing.
What with all the rudeness? I simply explained how I felt about Bella Thorne and didn't say anything that was really mean, unless you consider her taking everything I earn "mean." I think Ellen doesn't mind harassing me but doesn't want me to achieve elsewhere, in one side of her personality. My dad is an outright liar in what he does because he claims not to be nasty but then he is.
Me Singing
This mainly has a good practice of some quality. I don't know exactly why I posted it, probably cuz I'm going to sleep soon and won't sing anymore now. I don't know who would listen to it that I know, but I do have people who visit my blog and that's what counts to me, too. :/ So, it's a more luscious recording but not as special as the rest..
Story
There was a lovely baby with red hair named Bella, and she loved her red hair. A fair maiden named Sarah one day ran into a young girl of about 7 with red hair and pale skin. She picked up the child and brought her into a new community of people.
In the community were a bunch of witches of old. One girl lived there named Christina, dressed in green and brown with dark reddish brown hair and eyes of fair. Bella came up to the 13-year-old and said, "Why aren't you like all the other witches? You seem more set apart or alone than me."
"Well.." said Christina, I once saw a band of pirates when I was a little girl like you. It was Christmas. We all ended up leaving, I just got here.
Sarah said to Bella, "Dear, come with me," and Bella hid in her skirts. "I am not a witch, you know, I am an archangel of the Lord ... and I am going to take care of you. Call me mum, mom, mommy, or mummy. Think you can remember?"
"Yes," squeaked the red haired girl with big green eyes and a strong partially upturned and uptight nose. She was very slender and under the care of Sarah became very healthy.
In the night creeped in some pirates who only stole from outlying fruit trees and searching for buried gold in the night. Christina went and got Bella, and suddenly Christina was taken. Bella ran rapildy back, thumping... and woke up her Mummy. She immediately picked up her daughter.
The men were gathering around the boats, since Christina was stolen. You could hear bombs going off trying to capsize boats. There was music being played. Finally, they had the resources to chain up the pirates. They threw them in jail cells. One good one who was not bad looked like a normal guy. He became friends with everyone there.
Bella was fond of this new man, giggled and walked up to him. She felt embarrassed and went back to her Mummy crying.
Christina was found among the prisoners. "Whoah, wait a minute!" she said. Then, she started singing..
Voice Recorder >>
The pirates gathered round and all sang happily!
They talked to the pirates, and they all agreed to be friends. They were to sail off. Christina, who Bella was seeing was gung ho said, "Hey, young, little missy.. wanna come ride with the rest of us?"
Sarah responded, "Of course," and she touched Christina with her hand around her waist, not that anyone ever did that for Christina. "Where did you come from?"
"I am 13 and I know about the piracy. I even remember your little girl Bella, your Lordship. I saw her when she was little, but as a baby she just sneered and giggled. She would not listen to me nor respond to anything I did."
Sarah the archangel said, "That's very weird. I'm trying to find out more about her."
"Very good," Christina beamed.
"Now," said Sarah, "are you looking to get married."
"Er, yes."
"How are you going about it?"
"I'm not. Nah, too much."
Bella had managd to pick up a bird, and she was so happy. "Come here, sweety," Said her Mummy.
Christina went off to the pirates, and a girl named Danny Sophia came with her who was 12 1/2. They explored the pirate ship.
"We'd better head back," said Christina. "I still need to get dressed."
Danny Sophia was dressed as is. She had a dress with squares in the pattern, but it looked plain. It was pink and black. Christina got all ready and packed with her bag. She wore purple with pink indents. It was a bright dress that seemed dark and night crept on.
All the young girls came, this time most were older like 15, 17, and the young ones, too. The youngest was Bella. Christina came and attempted to rub her back and said, "This is gonna be great." Now, Christina was something of a tomboy. "I'm gonna miss my days sitting on banks hanging out with my family of girls."
In the community were a bunch of witches of old. One girl lived there named Christina, dressed in green and brown with dark reddish brown hair and eyes of fair. Bella came up to the 13-year-old and said, "Why aren't you like all the other witches? You seem more set apart or alone than me."
"Well.." said Christina, I once saw a band of pirates when I was a little girl like you. It was Christmas. We all ended up leaving, I just got here.
Sarah said to Bella, "Dear, come with me," and Bella hid in her skirts. "I am not a witch, you know, I am an archangel of the Lord ... and I am going to take care of you. Call me mum, mom, mommy, or mummy. Think you can remember?"
"Yes," squeaked the red haired girl with big green eyes and a strong partially upturned and uptight nose. She was very slender and under the care of Sarah became very healthy.
In the night creeped in some pirates who only stole from outlying fruit trees and searching for buried gold in the night. Christina went and got Bella, and suddenly Christina was taken. Bella ran rapildy back, thumping... and woke up her Mummy. She immediately picked up her daughter.
The men were gathering around the boats, since Christina was stolen. You could hear bombs going off trying to capsize boats. There was music being played. Finally, they had the resources to chain up the pirates. They threw them in jail cells. One good one who was not bad looked like a normal guy. He became friends with everyone there.
Bella was fond of this new man, giggled and walked up to him. She felt embarrassed and went back to her Mummy crying.
Christina was found among the prisoners. "Whoah, wait a minute!" she said. Then, she started singing..
Voice Recorder >>
The pirates gathered round and all sang happily!
They talked to the pirates, and they all agreed to be friends. They were to sail off. Christina, who Bella was seeing was gung ho said, "Hey, young, little missy.. wanna come ride with the rest of us?"
Sarah responded, "Of course," and she touched Christina with her hand around her waist, not that anyone ever did that for Christina. "Where did you come from?"
"I am 13 and I know about the piracy. I even remember your little girl Bella, your Lordship. I saw her when she was little, but as a baby she just sneered and giggled. She would not listen to me nor respond to anything I did."
Sarah the archangel said, "That's very weird. I'm trying to find out more about her."
"Very good," Christina beamed.
"Now," said Sarah, "are you looking to get married."
"Er, yes."
"How are you going about it?"
"I'm not. Nah, too much."
Bella had managd to pick up a bird, and she was so happy. "Come here, sweety," Said her Mummy.
Christina went off to the pirates, and a girl named Danny Sophia came with her who was 12 1/2. They explored the pirate ship.
"We'd better head back," said Christina. "I still need to get dressed."
Danny Sophia was dressed as is. She had a dress with squares in the pattern, but it looked plain. It was pink and black. Christina got all ready and packed with her bag. She wore purple with pink indents. It was a bright dress that seemed dark and night crept on.
All the young girls came, this time most were older like 15, 17, and the young ones, too. The youngest was Bella. Christina came and attempted to rub her back and said, "This is gonna be great." Now, Christina was something of a tomboy. "I'm gonna miss my days sitting on banks hanging out with my family of girls."
Apology
Weird words keep coming to my mind, but I'm not telling them to anyone, and then it comes. I told myself to stop..
:(
I did toss around the term, tired, need rest and recreation. :/
:(
I did toss around the term, tired, need rest and recreation. :/
I think I'm doing my hair differently again..
..I always wanted wavy brown hair, medium bright brown. I want bangs and angles. I guess I'll have the bottom around shoulder length. Almost like Charlotte Church, but her hair is not as dark.
New Old Pictures of Me
link
The one in the dress is prom.
I lived in the New Orleans area, at the time. I was there from 12-20.
The one in the dress is prom.
I lived in the New Orleans area, at the time. I was there from 12-20.
It seems custom I apologize online..
..I was defiant and challenging when we were eating to my mom. I'll try to ignore what bothers me. I mean no harm. I should occupy myself some better way.
No, I did not go against you flat out but shoulda.
I was explaining my reaction to the insults I got about rubbing in someone over me.
Shoulda? Well, when something messes things up.. things need to be stated clean and left? The truth is important.. you don't seem to agree.
Shoulda? Well, when something messes things up.. things need to be stated clean and left? The truth is important.. you don't seem to agree.
This is sick and stupid.
People think it's okay to kill people for me so I feel like I can trust no one. Well, then, why are you constantly wanting me to "listen?" I actually posted something, Mister. :|
I'm not listening to that.
I didn't do anything bad, you did. I was explaining my reaction at the table to being beat on. People are now rubbing in they kill people "when I'm bad" when I'm the one who's well-behaved. Quit lying. I can blog whatever the Hell I want.
I wonder why..
..these people all keep dying coincidingly. That's sad. It's like they died at a certain time. It seems like someone is killing them. That's what bothers me, an they did it to bother me. There's not really any explaining that if it's intended to be a joke. I'm not gonna say oh I have to say it's okay if you killed them. What's up with that? How am I supposed to function!!
:(
:(
You can't..
..test the waters by thrusting out yourself, you're supposed to try to be agreeable at all times.
Hey!
What should I do? There was a death of a girl whose name I heard from my high school. These deaths all seem to coincide with the events of my life. How can I ever trust anyone? I don't want a running secret. I'm not gonna feel for the bumps in the road. I had posted about something that happened then deleted that particular bit. There was nothing wrong with it, but I didn't have to do it.
Friday, November 14, 2014
I still..
..don't see why people are messing with me telling me I should be punished. I don't like your philosophy of me being split good and bad.
So, you're not nervous
to let people like Josh Groban to use his voice in his lifetime but too squeamish to anyone treat me with respect.
Computer
My mouse is acting weird and sometimes the computer.
So, I wonder if I should look for a cheap laptop as a Christmas present.
I did get pretty upset and gritted my teeth and hit the mouse thinking it'd work, feeling pressured by the people around me... pressing the buttons hard. It shouldn't matter, but maybe it does. I don't really know, I think it was just the next thing, and the people experimenting on me know I did it. Like, after awhile online, I have to restart my computer and the viruses came on.
So, I wonder if I should look for a cheap laptop as a Christmas present.
I did get pretty upset and gritted my teeth and hit the mouse thinking it'd work, feeling pressured by the people around me... pressing the buttons hard. It shouldn't matter, but maybe it does. I don't really know, I think it was just the next thing, and the people experimenting on me know I did it. Like, after awhile online, I have to restart my computer and the viruses came on.
My Comment
Thank you so much for posting this, now! I always love to see this. You caught a good one! Sorry for the annoying people around you. It's so nice to have Sarah sing for us.
Concert
Sarah Brightman
Do you think I am compatible? YES! I love Broadway, but now she loves space.. too
Come, sing with me! No, I'm talking to my audience, not the world class famous singer.
:)
Do you think I am compatible? YES! I love Broadway, but now she loves space.. too
Come, sing with me! No, I'm talking to my audience, not the world class famous singer.
:)
I'm not trying to get at anyone..
..and I was unaware my e-mails were shitty...
I just found my whole life is jeopardized for some strange reason at the push of a number of buttons. Right now, it's like all over. I feel threatened. Why couldn't these people answer or remind me about getting a blog?
I just found my whole life is jeopardized for some strange reason at the push of a number of buttons. Right now, it's like all over. I feel threatened. Why couldn't these people answer or remind me about getting a blog?
What's this..
..the rip off my clothes presentation? I can see it in the coy smile of others. Like, "Ooh, I was good and then decided to become bad and am bad." Oh, "and if I am good then people will call me a n*****."
cont.
The whole world is so crazy. I just wanna curl up in my bed and not get anything done that's in my life. But sometimes it's hard to sleep, like about every day.
I shoulda had my mind on laundry but went out for a jog instead. I washed it but haven't gone about hanging it, didn't feel like it this night by my parents's bedroom, maybe.
I shoulda had my mind on laundry but went out for a jog instead. I washed it but haven't gone about hanging it, didn't feel like it this night by my parents's bedroom, maybe.
This is just crazy.
I'm not putting up with anything. I am not the one causing problems. Ya'll're just competitive. You want attention, and you hurt me. I don't ruin your chances and get in your way. I'm rather stressed, on meds, don't get money from my parents like before.
Upset
Most people were in check before the happy sappy Burton and Depp came along with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and your Pirates of the Caribbean.
Now, you think I did something, lying to get yer asses outta trouble. I don't trust adult figures from my childhood.
Now, you think I did something, lying to get yer asses outta trouble. I don't trust adult figures from my childhood.
What Ya'll Made It Like
My friends were gonna visit me they said more.
You all made it crazy outside, and I could not really concentrate.
You all made it crazy outside, and I could not really concentrate.
and
I think they are still hurting me.
It's funny they seemed somewhat nice, but one unfriended me elsewhere early on without answering me.
It's funny they seemed somewhat nice, but one unfriended me elsewhere early on without answering me.
Jogged
The whole time I was hurt that life is about old best friends who won't even talk to me. The whole world knows I spammed them and doesn't care that there is a reason.
Jr Hi
When I started in Florida in 6th grade, it seemed more like a public high school. People would come to terms very easily and care and say I was very nice and I felt attractive. So, if I became famous, it would not be a hate school.
I guess it doesn't matter.
It used to be you can act a certain way to normal people in public but with family tension builds. You don't "tell" what you do at home. Like, oh, at home, she's more free and unrefined.
Thursday, November 13, 2014
Kids Today
I am considered the last of the crap generations.
Sarah's Day...WHAT?? Sarah explains what her day is ...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRR4raUhsWg
7 hours ago - Uploaded by OneTimeShow
We explain What Sarah's day is! Watch from the ... Sarah Brightman - One Day Like This (Official Video) by
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