Ellen, you are a bad person and deserve to be locked up for putting secret messages in my room and telling people to send them to me. They are bad messages.
I say this because I am tired of finding you messing with my life. I turn on the show and concerning things you seem happy as can be. That doesn't make sense. You act even like you didn't do it and then you did it.
I could just say you're bad or I don't like it, but this society locks people like you up. You wouldn't care if I just said you're bad. So, I'm telling you you make my life like I'm locked up.
No hard feelings otherwise, seems you've started the problems.
I shouldn't have to put up with my parents like this, neither.
We just have to fight it and know what I post is right. If it's not, I'd take it down. Let's just say, she'd hurt others, then, to be popular.
I think it's even her fault I'm on medicine I don't need!
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Problem
They are under the impression this brat is okay. Ellen is supposedly the one doing it. Ordering the secret messages. "Ordering!" I want my life back.
Mad
I thought something violent after I saw my brother left his pathetic secret messages in my bathroom. . I know Ellen told him to do this. STOP! She's so nice to Bella Thorne.
My psychiatrist..
..hate me so much for not wanting his hard worked for meds that he twitched his eyes which affected mine when I followed him.
Psychology is stupid.
They think misbehavior or being given too much homework means you need psychiatric medication.
Some people who make mistakes are good, too.
Some people who make mistakes are good, too.
I feel that way.
I wasn't allowed to graduate college. I just sit here on the internet with TV. Other people are on it and performing but not me.
2 Sides
Some people feel overpowered by Ellen but don't really worry too much.
Some people think she is intimidating.
My life is an experiment, and I was let to maybe believe she send mean secret messages. I just got told that's okay. I don't think it is ever for my own good. I want to escape to college, 3 or 4 more years. I'm 28. It's very depressing..
Some people think she is intimidating.
My life is an experiment, and I was let to maybe believe she send mean secret messages. I just got told that's okay. I don't think it is ever for my own good. I want to escape to college, 3 or 4 more years. I'm 28. It's very depressing..
I just realized something..
When I see a plane crash where my mom is from, I can only ask if it was done on purpose to hurt people such as myself. Why does someone get mad if I ask that? Not really blaming anyone or whatever, they/whoever think they have the right to have made the plane crash, it seemed.. not to be too harsh cuz I don't really believe it, it just comes up. Anyway, now, I know they think I deserve it. Sorry for my poor writing.
Monday, December 29, 2014
How would you like
to be bothered all the time and have people be stupid about you who experiment on you and won't stop and let you live life?
How I Feel
Suicidal but wouldn't actually think of doing it.
Singing, it's not as exciting. These pills I don't need don't help, side effects.
Also, everyone is always insulting me. I have nothing to live for. People won't leave me alone. It's sorta fun taking walks but can get tiring when 2 hours every day.
Singing, it's not as exciting. These pills I don't need don't help, side effects.
Also, everyone is always insulting me. I have nothing to live for. People won't leave me alone. It's sorta fun taking walks but can get tiring when 2 hours every day.
IMDb - The Soapbox
Middle Eastern / White/Latino / Islanders / Asians / Blacks
Which would you prefer? I think Asians and African Americans are in the same boat. It would be embarrassing and hopeless to be either if you prefer another race. What do you think of Islanders? They are a mixture of Black and Asian, I think, like indians.
IMDb - Politics
What, I don't got no other plans and love college and wanna go after I get famous, too.
College
I would go even if I were a famous Broadway singer as a kid. It's so important to stay in college until you graduate, I feel. I'm not sure if I will go back soon but kinda wanna. I was in voice and am taking from a producer who will help me make a CD.. I already know I can go to a community college without auditioning. You take:
(1) private lessons - 2 credits
(2) music theory - 3 or 4 credits (easy for pianists)
(3) ensemble - 1 credit (choir or for others band..)
(4) piano - 1 credit (group class, even tho I can play they said here..)
______
Total: 8 credits - part time student
I'd have to bus there and back every day for music for a year. I have like 2 semesters left of general studies and qualify for honors here.
All I have left to do is go to iwantmytranscript.com and send it to the school or call and see if they got it I guess.
So, I can finish music in 2 semesters and my general studies in the next 2 or 3. I can graduate spring 2017. I'd be 31 with an AA. I'd do well to transfer to a 4-year-institute, immediately!
(1) private lessons - 2 credits
(2) music theory - 3 or 4 credits (easy for pianists)
(3) ensemble - 1 credit (choir or for others band..)
(4) piano - 1 credit (group class, even tho I can play they said here..)
______
Total: 8 credits - part time student
I'd have to bus there and back every day for music for a year. I have like 2 semesters left of general studies and qualify for honors here.
All I have left to do is go to iwantmytranscript.com and send it to the school or call and see if they got it I guess.
So, I can finish music in 2 semesters and my general studies in the next 2 or 3. I can graduate spring 2017. I'd be 31 with an AA. I'd do well to transfer to a 4-year-institute, immediately!
People bothering me..
just to ruin my blog..
On Facebook, the smilies are partly cut off while I'm posting. What if the experimenters on me did it just for the day?
On Facebook, the smilies are partly cut off while I'm posting. What if the experimenters on me did it just for the day?
Facts
I see I am being picked on. Why can't some people leave people alone in ways they are "happy?"
I didn't get to be with other people until I was in trouble with someone for no reason. I feel like the outcast.
Someone is being vicious to me. All they are/bring is bad news. What they say isn't even reality.
The person should be treated like a person but not like it's (1) them and underneath (2) everyone else in the world. It just doesn't work that way. You don't just make it up and say 1 person is this to everyone and they all have to think that way about themselves. I don't wanna be stuck as only some people being victimized by this thinking. Lots of people go about life and this doesn't happen. I'm not saying a problem I have but a general principle. It seems this is all they wanna talk about. It just irritates me. I'm not really listening. I'm just sure it might mean something else, and I don't know why. It doesn't make sense. I am not gonna be suggested I am not perfect if I don't "put myself down." I grew up being beat up that I put myself down. Now, they want me to do it again, but nope. Not for them, neither. How weird is that, they want me to put myself down! What was it. Yes, this person thinks I should just put myself down. I see a missing thought. I don't think so. Just say one person does this and others are happy. What else do you think from this? No hard feelings, but that's what I got from this. I'm not in trouble. Everyone wants to think that for pleasure cuz I was always so good.
I didn't get to be with other people until I was in trouble with someone for no reason. I feel like the outcast.
Someone is being vicious to me. All they are/bring is bad news. What they say isn't even reality.
The person should be treated like a person but not like it's (1) them and underneath (2) everyone else in the world. It just doesn't work that way. You don't just make it up and say 1 person is this to everyone and they all have to think that way about themselves. I don't wanna be stuck as only some people being victimized by this thinking. Lots of people go about life and this doesn't happen. I'm not saying a problem I have but a general principle. It seems this is all they wanna talk about. It just irritates me. I'm not really listening. I'm just sure it might mean something else, and I don't know why. It doesn't make sense. I am not gonna be suggested I am not perfect if I don't "put myself down." I grew up being beat up that I put myself down. Now, they want me to do it again, but nope. Not for them, neither. How weird is that, they want me to put myself down! What was it. Yes, this person thinks I should just put myself down. I see a missing thought. I don't think so. Just say one person does this and others are happy. What else do you think from this? No hard feelings, but that's what I got from this. I'm not in trouble. Everyone wants to think that for pleasure cuz I was always so good.
Degree/Career
When I came home from music, I was fascinated with the idea of doing micro and molecular biology. Now, I like biotech, like playing with life. I still wanna be a singer, and after that I was into things like crime prevention or the military/government..
It probably
doesn't matter, but I know they are being evil. They just prolonged this screen like I give a f***.
I'm tired of you
being so evil all the time, tho. If you are bad, nothing will go your way. You think so.
How else do I say this?
I don't care about these people. They're so annoying. Get a life.
My blog. I didn't name anyone. I might not mean what you think I mean..
How else do I say this?
I don't care about these people. They're so annoying. Get a life.
My blog. I didn't name anyone. I might not mean what you think I mean..
Thought Out
Yes, sorry I said how dare you. I mean, it was right but wrong.
I went by something not getting mad the 2nd time I thought of it around after awhile.
I need to ignore this stuff and not comment on some of it..
I'll explain the topic under "how dare you." I thought that's what it was. You know, I shouldn't be in trouble. Why do I have to bear the burden of others's feelings and not say anything? I don't think quite what was thought should be so. I mean, things could always happen that are more physical. If I got tired of someone, tho, I thought why would someone else get tired of them, too?
So, sorry, not sure what else I can do about the fact it is known I said that..
I went by something not getting mad the 2nd time I thought of it around after awhile.
I need to ignore this stuff and not comment on some of it..
I'll explain the topic under "how dare you." I thought that's what it was. You know, I shouldn't be in trouble. Why do I have to bear the burden of others's feelings and not say anything? I don't think quite what was thought should be so. I mean, things could always happen that are more physical. If I got tired of someone, tho, I thought why would someone else get tired of them, too?
So, sorry, not sure what else I can do about the fact it is known I said that..
Why should I
listen to someone who doesn't know what they're doing? and who has problems and takes them out on others..
You cannot punish me.
If you are upset, you have to tell me 1st. It is my blog, and I can have fun with it. Grow up.
Are you allowed
to get mad at your kids if they are good students who get tired and do poorly with a heavy college schedule and not give them a break while they are in it?
How dare you
tell someone who to pay attention to.
Don't worry about what you think it is, cuz I'm speaking in general. You should agree with me This should not sound like an attack. I'm just saying. See? It should not be an attack to you because it should not be wrong. What I say should be right. It should be right to you. So, then it's not attacking you. I'm not cursing you out, neither, like others seem to do to me 1st. I'm just saying how dare you. Hm, sounds mean. It should sound a little funny.
I just wanted to say I boiled it all down and found that they did that. How pathetic and unprofessional. Ha ha ha. Oh, I forget, it's up to the person. You should not have anything to do with it, I'd think.
I can't have the whole world just attack me and tell people to ignore me. I don't give a f*** what Tampa says. The person on TV is constantly irritating me, the news/weather. You all are just stupid, listening to Tampa.
Don't worry about what you think it is, cuz I'm speaking in general. You should agree with me This should not sound like an attack. I'm just saying. See? It should not be an attack to you because it should not be wrong. What I say should be right. It should be right to you. So, then it's not attacking you. I'm not cursing you out, neither, like others seem to do to me 1st. I'm just saying how dare you. Hm, sounds mean. It should sound a little funny.
I just wanted to say I boiled it all down and found that they did that. How pathetic and unprofessional. Ha ha ha. Oh, I forget, it's up to the person. You should not have anything to do with it, I'd think.
I can't have the whole world just attack me and tell people to ignore me. I don't give a f*** what Tampa says. The person on TV is constantly irritating me, the news/weather. You all are just stupid, listening to Tampa.
I went to Tampa for AGT auditions. Someone made a weird noise and I think it damaged my hearing, permanently. I was wondering, like everyone else, why now you look different in a certain way. We hope you're doing fine!
What happened this time there was I was doing something with my backpack while someone was speaking. I was at a store, and I went through my bag while waiting for the cashier and he remained upset with me.
When I ate out at Cracker Barrel in Tampa and upon leaving I found myself judged against my dad and for no reason they liked my dad's presentation better because I'm 1/2 Dutch Chinese-Indonesian. They felt sorry for both of us, my dad against me and me against Orlando.
I met some people from places familiar to me in line, and we had a jolly time when we did.
You know, Chris, I'm watching the news, and I have a fondness for the successful of Orlando. I love the black people on the bus, but I just don't know I'd miss something like that in the same way.
I came early to Disney Animal Kingdom and won a stuffed dinosaur. It's very stressful, but I've never personally played with a slot machine and don't really know what all gambling is.. Casinos indeed are the hub of every culture. Underage people go to shows and probably have eaten out there. Best of luck in the land of the luck. I used to have this friend whose mom sang in the choir in Northeastern Florida. We'd come back home to the old city we lived in and we'd eat out at Village In and I'd be dropped off at midnight. This friend was darling.
Thanks, Chris, let me know if you don't like what I posted and I will take it down and not post like that, anymore.
What happened this time there was I was doing something with my backpack while someone was speaking. I was at a store, and I went through my bag while waiting for the cashier and he remained upset with me.
When I ate out at Cracker Barrel in Tampa and upon leaving I found myself judged against my dad and for no reason they liked my dad's presentation better because I'm 1/2 Dutch Chinese-Indonesian. They felt sorry for both of us, my dad against me and me against Orlando.
I met some people from places familiar to me in line, and we had a jolly time when we did.
You know, Chris, I'm watching the news, and I have a fondness for the successful of Orlando. I love the black people on the bus, but I just don't know I'd miss something like that in the same way.
I came early to Disney Animal Kingdom and won a stuffed dinosaur. It's very stressful, but I've never personally played with a slot machine and don't really know what all gambling is.. Casinos indeed are the hub of every culture. Underage people go to shows and probably have eaten out there. Best of luck in the land of the luck. I used to have this friend whose mom sang in the choir in Northeastern Florida. We'd come back home to the old city we lived in and we'd eat out at Village In and I'd be dropped off at midnight. This friend was darling.
Unfortunate Proof
A police was going at a hi speed and killed a 10-year-old crossing the street, to a sleepover. Does he have to serve life sentence? No, I hope not.
You know, I've been thinking, and it didn't take me long to think .. if I/someone had a daughter, she'd be the show about town if allowed anywhere near a casino, and it's how it should be- I actually love casino areas as I used to see shows there, like the Starlight Express which I found about by ALW.
Like I've told 2 other wonderful parents, I'd love to help them babysit their babies/young child. I will be so supportive of your family life, not to be too personal. I've been told I don't say much. LOL, if anyone thinks it's interesting, when I talk I found literally around 1997 when computers came out, a wonderful time, when I do things, the 1st 1/2 is fine and full but after that it's just plain and short and "unintelligent." 1/2 my life seems to be exciting beyond belief, tho, and the other 1/2 is sitting down in introversion not doing much but taking a smoke.
I hope all I said is okay. Let me know, even here, if it isn't, Chris!
Like I've told 2 other wonderful parents, I'd love to help them babysit their babies/young child. I will be so supportive of your family life, not to be too personal. I've been told I don't say much. LOL, if anyone thinks it's interesting, when I talk I found literally around 1997 when computers came out, a wonderful time, when I do things, the 1st 1/2 is fine and full but after that it's just plain and short and "unintelligent." 1/2 my life seems to be exciting beyond belief, tho, and the other 1/2 is sitting down in introversion not doing much but taking a smoke.
I hope all I said is okay. Let me know, even here, if it isn't, Chris!
Glitch/Hack?
My last thing I posted skipped a line at the dash of the word e-mail. This is all rather suggestive. Just need to report it cuz something could come of it. I just feel it. Or it seems like it.
Foolishness
They keep acting like I did something, but you put the noises in my room. I can curse it's my blog. I don't like to curse, so I stopped. You still bother me. None of this used to happen. I didn't get my chance at life. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 2005 doesn't mean we're no good just cuz we weren't there.
I figured something.
Those who get on top with people want to stay on top of people. And hopefully people are all on top, in reality. I guess not everyone to anyone.. :)
Sunday, December 28, 2014
So I still get some mad
when I saw the symbolized message that seems permanent for now. What should I think about that thumb thing?
It's true things get better, but others get worse. There's always something new as a challenge. Old things come up to haunt you, and you can scarcely tell what's going on..
It's true things get better, but others get worse. There's always something new as a challenge. Old things come up to haunt you, and you can scarcely tell what's going on..
Tried to Make for Myself
and/or others a better day. Hope things get back to normal, seems to be fixing it.
TV soon?
TV soon?
Feel Wrong
I don't think I need those pills but wanted to stay home, where I have to take them.
I feel weighted down. I was a bit taller.
I feel weighted down. I was a bit taller.
Problem
Why are you so wrapped up about the thumb thing? It's not your decision to change my life and tell me I can't have things. You all are mean to me. DID YOU GET THAT? Everyone else is in a virtual paradise they may not have earned. So what? It's not that big a deal! You won't get a life! ..Why don't you?? They are being mean to me. They set up a new symbol! Ya'll are so *beep* I SAID STOP IT. YOU CAN'T CONTROL IF SOMEONE IS NICE TO ME. SHUT UP! I SAID STOP THIS SHIT! DON'T YOU GET IT. YOU'RE NOT CALM, COOL, AND COLLECTED.
The Dominant Blonde/Brunette
In dance and life.. blondes easily spin brunettes of, but you have to stand out as a brunette.
I thought about it
and realize how stupid it was. I don't think my fingers are to blame, but I will admit my nails are more comfortable to me than most people.
IMDb
Annie (2014) (I)
Re: If you hate this movie then why are you here?
Yea, that's called freaking out.
A lotta people think the opposite of you, that everything is a matter of consequence, that 1 rule applies for everything, like all English people are the same, everyone is more like their parents in the same way.
Too many people seem to have forgotten everything they learned and think if you just think of everything in a positive way that all problems will cease to exist without doing anything.
As far as race goes, people forget that people disregard Asian or Southern Asians and assume that all are at ease and will not pop up in a place like this. It's all about blacks and whites and Middle Easterners. And mixed people have it even worse with stupidity.
I just don't feel like people recognize me as white as I go about and deal with my life. No one gets any of what I say about things like that. They just look at me and don't care. They act like there's no way to think that. They feel guilt riding up their spine, but they don't move.
A lotta people think the opposite of you, that everything is a matter of consequence, that 1 rule applies for everything, like all English people are the same, everyone is more like their parents in the same way.
Too many people seem to have forgotten everything they learned and think if you just think of everything in a positive way that all problems will cease to exist without doing anything.
As far as race goes, people forget that people disregard Asian or Southern Asians and assume that all are at ease and will not pop up in a place like this. It's all about blacks and whites and Middle Easterners. And mixed people have it even worse with stupidity.
I just don't feel like people recognize me as white as I go about and deal with my life. No one gets any of what I say about things like that. They just look at me and don't care. They act like there's no way to think that. They feel guilt riding up their spine, but they don't move.
Same Ole Same Ole
That people should have been celebrities is like girls should have been in dance.. or else since Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) no one thinks you can change and that you're good enough if that's not so.
IMDb - The Soapbox
College
Does anyone here believe in experiencing life and not like having goals, like I wanna be famous but like ASAP?
My Opinion
It is to the great satisfaction of someone to ruin all my relationships, even the one I'd have with them, and put someone up in my place at all times.
Saturday, December 27, 2014
But this is so lame.
I tried so hard.
I'll have to worry about this forever and not just my nails themselves.
I'll have to worry about this forever and not just my nails themselves.
IMDb - The Soapbox
We need to figure this out, what can I do about it?
I thought of my thumb cutting someone but not realistically, and now these people experimenting on me are being mean to me. They made me writhe on the sofa maybe for 1/2 hour. I was eating pizza! I wanna be left alone. I felt molested.
IMDb - The Soapbox
Is this board a bad influence on you? Is that possible?
Or is everything about how you function and feel your responsibility?
I was eating ikky pizza and thought of my thumbnail cutting someone but not with blood but like sorta soft feeling, fuzzy and sharp, no slicing. I was just writhing on my sofa for 1/2 hour upset at people making me feel like my dad is touching me. I can't get rid of it. I just wanna sleep for 2 days until the weekend is over. My brother is home. I hope they have a good time, but it might be w/o me.
Ivy Meer says I'm as innocent as a hurt kitten like. What's there to wonder? I didn't wanna mean it. If I hurt someone by accident sometimes is your fault sometimes isn't, but usually the person who was hurt is the concern.
I was eating ikky pizza and thought of my thumbnail cutting someone but not with blood but like sorta soft feeling, fuzzy and sharp, no slicing. I was just writhing on my sofa for 1/2 hour upset at people making me feel like my dad is touching me. I can't get rid of it. I just wanna sleep for 2 days until the weekend is over. My brother is home. I hope they have a good time, but it might be w/o me.
Ivy Meer says I'm as innocent as a hurt kitten like. What's there to wonder? I didn't wanna mean it. If I hurt someone by accident sometimes is your fault sometimes isn't, but usually the person who was hurt is the concern.
Well, no..
..I suppose I've been thinking violently lately. I didn't really mean/wanna do it. I'll just see something as stupid a this as an accident. Chain my fingers!
What can I do?
These people are on edge. They are mean to me and I'm stuck where I can't literally function, like not being able to leave the house. No one understands my situation.
In case you're not good at math..
..that person bothered me in a certain part of my body, so I guess I couldn't stop myself. I can feel that part now not working. I dunno, I said I don't mean it. Think of all the nasty things you have to do on purpose. You pretend it didn't happen. I don't usually think of those things.
What I Did
I walked for a total of 4 hours today, but it was lame. It's lame now. I might just go to bed or see what's on TV. I gotta exercise sometime, too. I have a Disney pass and might wait to learn singing. Dunno if it should be at a studio or the community college.
A part of me feels really bad, thanks to the person I thought of.
A part of me feels really bad, thanks to the person I thought of.
It's no biggie.
I was warning I was feeling bad, but no I don't mean it. Even the pizza tasted badly.
PROBLEMS
These people made me mad just when I was trying to eat. I thought of my thumb cutting, and I'm worried they will shove more shit in my face!
I don't know all, but I don't like my dad touching me, and I was given an image of a dad carrying a girl and it affected me more in the end, whatever reason.
What else?? I dunno.. They made text at the bottom show up and move.
I was writhing on my sofa for awhile when I woke up. I've gotten some sandwiches at gas stations, and for some reason my dad got pizza today, probably to mess with me.
I know this 1 person keeps shoving things in my face and people defend them. All these insulting things that hurt me.
I don't know all, but I don't like my dad touching me, and I was given an image of a dad carrying a girl and it affected me more in the end, whatever reason.
What else?? I dunno.. They made text at the bottom show up and move.
I was writhing on my sofa for awhile when I woke up. I've gotten some sandwiches at gas stations, and for some reason my dad got pizza today, probably to mess with me.
I know this 1 person keeps shoving things in my face and people defend them. All these insulting things that hurt me.
Attack
I do not believe in racial discrimination.
I do believe a lotta people to my likings of if I was like that would be called shitty. My dad hates that I think that.
I do not believe in telling me that I need a lesson of their own mistake, like I took part in the guilt or I really knew that I was shit and others weren't.
I do believe a lotta people to my likings of if I was like that would be called shitty. My dad hates that I think that.
I do not believe in telling me that I need a lesson of their own mistake, like I took part in the guilt or I really knew that I was shit and others weren't.
My ex. fam.
They are are so jittery and inaccurate in their emotions and don't slow down and figure out what they've soaked in. My dad seems to think I'm shit if I care.
Well, this is my blog..
..I can talk. My aunt is super highly profiled in stealth. It seems like her husband is taking a step into my family. I'm just saying the fact, not being sarcastic, as usual.. This is sick. I'm not shit because I'm Amish.
What I Had
I cannot really say much for the constant being mean to me, every move and sound, from my uncle-in-law. I didn't really confront him to that.
IMDb - The Soapbox
Re: what is so great about diversity?
I think I see disgust in the eyes of those on Africans. Why? Their skin is black because of the sun. They didn't chose to live there. They just live there.
I believe in diversity.
I still think white is the majority culture. I feel distanced from it in recenter years. It's like you grow up, and then white people find out they are good princesses, even if they were bad before, like it doesn't matter and they were the ones all along tho and tho not you too.
I believe in diversity.
I still think white is the majority culture. I feel distanced from it in recenter years. It's like you grow up, and then white people find out they are good princesses, even if they were bad before, like it doesn't matter and they were the ones all along tho and tho not you too.
Question
Are these people acting like a tacky, big lady really necessary? It seems like it's not really all right, whatever the answer would be. I didn't think anyone cared about me. I feel like I'm pushed in my garage suffering making ends meet, stuck wanting to make a CD but not thinking spending money on college should make the difference.
Upset
I asked at the fire why no one was talking to us and left. I had said some things they seemed to judge and wouldn't let me off like maybe it's "just" a mistake..
Then, I was upset my Gramma hurt my mom a lot, and the rest were calm at their own table eating. I guess that's how they figured that one out.
Then, I was upset my Gramma hurt my mom a lot, and the rest were calm at their own table eating. I guess that's how they figured that one out.
Friday, December 26, 2014
Weird
2 of my heros degraded.
1 pic of the Phantom looks like who I saw as Chris Mann, looked suspicious, the way it seemed to allude to him.
Next Chloe Sevigny, supposedly a bombed TV show, link.
Sadly, they seem to have followed in the steps of Tim Burton, becoming judged as stand-off-ish and shy. I would not say that alone, but in some ways it must be true in a technicality of the definition, I mean.
1 pic of the Phantom looks like who I saw as Chris Mann, looked suspicious, the way it seemed to allude to him.
Next Chloe Sevigny, supposedly a bombed TV show, link.
Sadly, they seem to have followed in the steps of Tim Burton, becoming judged as stand-off-ish and shy. I would not say that alone, but in some ways it must be true in a technicality of the definition, I mean.
Admitted
If someone admits they were bad to me but doesn't care, they love those who they are nice to but have hatred coupled to love with the other. Ha ha ha. Maybe, that's not concretely true in some sense, but it is in another or at least another way. It's not like things changed. At the same time, they love one and hate another.
I know what they did.
That's like illuminating me in the middle of something so people can say they don't like me there.
Wondering .. Apology
Sorry about the person getting attention, tis fine. I think tho that something has gone a step higher, f.y.i.
No Authority
I don't care if you come from yappety yap England. You don't "pro ceed to carry out your plan." Like you're all in charge. How amateurish! What do you think, anyone? There are cute people from England a-plenty. I hate the ones who are all into the US. Well, the way it seems to be going. They just delve in for the "bad stuff."
Cursing
I did try to leave out more cursing. What about *beep* doesn't matter. Does it? I've had people curse at me for no reason, and I don't get mad cuz it's not like these people attacking me.. I don't think it's okay. They are pampering this other person. Why couldn't my dad just get over himself?
Problem
They made me so mad that when I closed my garage door the inside one that muffles I did loudly. Wonder how this'll affect me. I did it quickly without thinking..
I can't get that feeling out, My dad's been super elated. That person keeps posting shit to me like it's an exercise. WELL I SAID YOU WERE BAD!
I can't get that feeling out, My dad's been super elated. That person keeps posting shit to me like it's an exercise. WELL I SAID YOU WERE BAD!
Problem
THIS PERSON KEEPS BEING MEAN TO ME. AN IMAGE OF MY DAD CARRYING ME STUCK IN MY DAD'S HEAD ALL SUPPER. QUIT TOUCHING MY PARTS! Now, they are actively including this other person, too, and as better. Like I did something. And it's just *beep*
I AM NOT BEING NICE TO YOU FOR THIS, YOU ARE MISTAKEN!
I AM NOT BEING NICE TO YOU FOR THIS, YOU ARE MISTAKEN!
Problem
Like the noises someone put in my room, you cannot go and tell me what color to make my skin (yellow.) Can anyone explain this radicality? The lunacy? It doesn't make sense. They are trying to punish me with big things. I just posted something on my mobile blog about how my dad drove yesterday. Sometimes, I post about where I am, usually if I'm alone. Supposedly, someone else is shitting me this, too. I will not take this, you. You will stop right now. I'm not gonna lose my relationships, too. Git yer annoying nose outta my Goddamn hole, you!
A Note on People Concerning Ellen
Why not think of what's really important to you, not a who to blame specifically but a what. What do you think of the Late Boom generation??
Problem
I posted about what my dad did when he went with me somewhere, and I got the stupid, cruel, flippant message that I should make my skin yellow when I like white and pink and some tan. I feel like a spider is dropping in next to me while I try to have had a good Christmas. This person ruined it, took part in somewhat strange gifts and other big things. They won't be nice to me and also won't leave me alone so I can live my life happily.. I was saying it's good to take a break from things and come back. I am not the emotional beggar in this scenario. It's more than obvious. This person plays around, like, "Gimme a sandwich," for instance. What does that say about a person? "Gimme, gimme, gimme." This person provides a small amount of emotion to others, as well. Or is it that most people are really shit themselves? I think most people are, but I don't mean ill will.
I get down
bin layin off the m***********. Like my diet. I'm not hungry for desserts now.. a stressful day, thought everyone who gave me a racial slur was a n***** or s***. Guess they don't take to that which they beckon unto themselves.
I shudder at what my singing will be like, skipped a day, alas.
I shudder at what my singing will be like, skipped a day, alas.
Thursday, December 25, 2014
In the car
Thanks to someone I got an partly sorta unbearable "ride."
All these supposedly good people for me result in my dad getting "giddy" but over me.
There's no one like it.
Only 1 person is voluntarily extra mean to me in ways others don't believe, and I'm tired of being told I follow this.
Story
There was a girl named Rebecca with light gold hair and greenish blue eyes. She was 14 and wearing a sky blue dress.
There was a boy named Jonathan who was 20.
There were other friends younger, as well.
It was Chrstmastime, and the lake was opened for skating.
Rebecca wondered, should she get a pet? Sure! What kind, a dog or cat, she did not know. She sidled off to the lake and enjoyed trying to skate but was able to remain on her feet. After she was done, she ran to the group house filled with people, who were still successful and it was a huge house. Some people just liked to make their way helping out. It was time to open Secret Santas. She had a box and inside was a ticket in order to go somewhere and pick out a pet. She said she wanted to go to the pet shelter, run by some lively boys who loved life. She went off alone, a smile on her face. She saw the cutest thing. They said they called him Tiny Tim. It was a cat! A cat with a limp. It was so sweet. It hobbled along. It was pretty, actually, with cream and tan. It's face was not as punched in. The tail was rather thick, like a wild cat.
So, she took it home and fed it milk and it survived very well. :)
Rebecca had another friend, a lady who was 30. She was gone. She found Jonathan and asked ot take a walk and he came, to her surprise and pleasure. They talked about the romance of life. Sometimes, he touched her, and she learned to smile more at him and about life. She was feeling uppity in joy of her disabled, cute, wild-looking, fancy cat.
There was a boy named Jonathan who was 20.
There were other friends younger, as well.
It was Chrstmastime, and the lake was opened for skating.
Rebecca wondered, should she get a pet? Sure! What kind, a dog or cat, she did not know. She sidled off to the lake and enjoyed trying to skate but was able to remain on her feet. After she was done, she ran to the group house filled with people, who were still successful and it was a huge house. Some people just liked to make their way helping out. It was time to open Secret Santas. She had a box and inside was a ticket in order to go somewhere and pick out a pet. She said she wanted to go to the pet shelter, run by some lively boys who loved life. She went off alone, a smile on her face. She saw the cutest thing. They said they called him Tiny Tim. It was a cat! A cat with a limp. It was so sweet. It hobbled along. It was pretty, actually, with cream and tan. It's face was not as punched in. The tail was rather thick, like a wild cat.
So, she took it home and fed it milk and it survived very well. :)
Rebecca had another friend, a lady who was 30. She was gone. She found Jonathan and asked ot take a walk and he came, to her surprise and pleasure. They talked about the romance of life. Sometimes, he touched her, and she learned to smile more at him and about life. She was feeling uppity in joy of her disabled, cute, wild-looking, fancy cat.
What Really Happened
My dad had me do it. He kept acting irritatingly around me. I am tired of the signs.
A Pathetic Report
People are rubbing in I can't "have" a person, as usual, whatever that means, if I hit something or suddenly if I think of something violent. I don't really live to do that.
Something hit me.
Everyone likes Ellen better than their spouse/partner in some way. I don't admire Portia for acting like it was a hard choice to say yes to Ellen cuz something better might come along .. cuz nothing will. :p No hard feelings, just talking.
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
So, Something Important
Someone might be behind these extremely insulting, perverted messages. I thought it was a general consensus. This is so stupid. It's wrong. My mom got cancer. Did she want it? Probably not!
It's not totally stupid, but I don't see why anyone would wanna do all this for someone like me.. I get the feeling they are doing it for someone else in a different way, too, or others, but no one seems to feel totally privileged when they talk to me.
Stupid is just the word used to apply to this. It's just wrong? That's stupid, too. Some people just don't wanna say stupid. I don't get all funny about it, but some people when they say it sound awkward. Why is this stupid? Under the bandaid is a bunch of being mean to me.
It's not totally stupid, but I don't see why anyone would wanna do all this for someone like me.. I get the feeling they are doing it for someone else in a different way, too, or others, but no one seems to feel totally privileged when they talk to me.
Stupid is just the word used to apply to this. It's just wrong? That's stupid, too. Some people just don't wanna say stupid. I don't get all funny about it, but some people when they say it sound awkward. Why is this stupid? Under the bandaid is a bunch of being mean to me.
It could also mean the opposite.
If something happens, something related doesn't have to happen. It could have been for the other reason.
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Online Post
link
I saw it in Orlando. I got to go twice. If I knew about Chris in advance, I'd like to have seen it more.. I was younger when I saw it in New Orleans. Christine seemed like the star, then, but now the Phantom himself is, as well. For some reason, the stairs are my favorite part.
I saw it in Orlando. I got to go twice. If I knew about Chris in advance, I'd like to have seen it more.. I was younger when I saw it in New Orleans. Christine seemed like the star, then, but now the Phantom himself is, as well. For some reason, the stairs are my favorite part.
Regular Ol' Apology
They keep saying things weird, but I'm sorry whoever I may have hurt. They have no right to pick at me like that. It's just so returning and closed-eared, like I'm defined as a robot racially. I don't know what it means to stand it or if I should. They still think they didn't do anything wrong. People keep attacking me. I will not accept my dad saying I'm in trouble. That's what made my Gramma hurt my mom.
Story
There was a 14-year-old girl named Tragedy. She had a sister named Comedy who was 24. Tragedy had gld hair, and Comedy had white hair. They both had blue eyes.
Tragedy was in a dress with indent with blue and white checkered stripes, small squares. She had on a white bonnet with a matching blue band.
There was a boy who was 20 named Rupert. He was like a father to Tragedy and a best friend for Comedy.
Tragedy ran through the outdoors and lay in the grass and rolled around a little. She looked serious and sighed. Comedy said, "You forgot something, tie your shoe in the big race." Tragedy was bitter but paid no attention.
Tragedy sat with the other girls on the bank by the dock/harbor. They were waiting for a ship to come. Tragedy dressed in a shiny, soft red material. Her hat was white. Comedy came and put her arm around Tragedy when the other girls were away from her. She looked at her lovingly, and Tragedy felt a surge of guilt for her stupidity.
Rupert was off with the boys. Tragedy ran off to find him. He ran and gave Tragedy a hug. They were all going on board. The men helped with getting the girls in the boat.
They sailed off across the ocean. They were sure the liner would not sink as it was plastered with great material. It looked tasty enough to eat. Tragedy was honestly sad to see other girls getting their way while she felt guilty from the start and did some things she regretted, like speaking hoarsely.
Finally they were there. Some of the other girls were unspeakably weary for some reason.. such young things.
They ran off to great expectations. They were in the mountains of Spain and France. There were houses and a place to stay. They learned many secrets visiting such a place. There was great nutrition. Then they walked off and went to another place to sail from in Spain. They landed in Greenland, a place they honestly knew not much of. It was cold. They set up a place to stay and they lived their lives there. Next, they went to Africa, and that was so romantic. Some remained there, some eventually left.
Tragedy was in a dress with indent with blue and white checkered stripes, small squares. She had on a white bonnet with a matching blue band.
There was a boy who was 20 named Rupert. He was like a father to Tragedy and a best friend for Comedy.
Tragedy ran through the outdoors and lay in the grass and rolled around a little. She looked serious and sighed. Comedy said, "You forgot something, tie your shoe in the big race." Tragedy was bitter but paid no attention.
Tragedy sat with the other girls on the bank by the dock/harbor. They were waiting for a ship to come. Tragedy dressed in a shiny, soft red material. Her hat was white. Comedy came and put her arm around Tragedy when the other girls were away from her. She looked at her lovingly, and Tragedy felt a surge of guilt for her stupidity.
Rupert was off with the boys. Tragedy ran off to find him. He ran and gave Tragedy a hug. They were all going on board. The men helped with getting the girls in the boat.
They sailed off across the ocean. They were sure the liner would not sink as it was plastered with great material. It looked tasty enough to eat. Tragedy was honestly sad to see other girls getting their way while she felt guilty from the start and did some things she regretted, like speaking hoarsely.
Finally they were there. Some of the other girls were unspeakably weary for some reason.. such young things.
They ran off to great expectations. They were in the mountains of Spain and France. There were houses and a place to stay. They learned many secrets visiting such a place. There was great nutrition. Then they walked off and went to another place to sail from in Spain. They landed in Greenland, a place they honestly knew not much of. It was cold. They set up a place to stay and they lived their lives there. Next, they went to Africa, and that was so romantic. Some remained there, some eventually left.
I don't know what to say.
They keep bothering me now. My dad made me think of like a little cannon thingy shooting at him. They are so stupid. They think if something happens, I "lose a person" I am currently obsessed with. They push me to think things in uncomfortable situations. Sometimes, I lose control of my thought because I'm wondering. They deserve it if they pick on me like that. Supposedly, my aunt and Gramma did this, how absurd- They keep talking to me like I'm gonna put up with this. I called it stupid cuz it was, it's like Hell, and they'd make fun of me for "admitting" that. HEY I SAID STOP YOU *BEEP* Now, someone wants someone to mess with my body, has people do that.
Did you ever consider..
..that's actually why she's *** and that's.. and the rest is probably her scared side?
If she is, then the poor thing needs it. Not just condescending Mama. We love Mama.
If she is, then the poor thing needs it. Not just condescending Mama. We love Mama.
We've come to a Twitter conclusion.
Ellen is selfish and wants to be touched inappropriately by other women.
Attitude
It seems all the people my age and older have jumped onto the boat of narcissism.
Can I just say I am better? I don't get any of what other people do. I saw the marines accept Toys for Tots. I live for art, tho, and in a way it is suffering trying to make it. The only suffering I'd have in the military is not doing art.
What is so precious to these older selfish people? I am not saying it's anyone in particular in whatever ways I understand things like it but to include a feeling of the whole movement of trust in this narcissistic way of thinking. It is hard to find someone who doesn't follow this offbeat way of viewing the world. People around my age and older do it, I guess. I don't listen.
I watched a video of the Phantom of the Opera and was immediately reminded inside of Josh Groban. I read a quote by him saying you are either a rock star or an opera diva, the only other thing not being anything as "half singing" in the shower. I guess he is not much older than me. He has much to learn. I watched Chris Mann on YouTube, and he didn't say why this production of Phantom was massive cuz I think they are all equally significant to someone. Was he trying to make it cute and give a sorta multiply interested message? Most people would flip out that they aren't even a singer. People who sing would feel their talents meant nothing or maybe these other singers to me also seem lazy, too lazy to record ALW songs. They think they're better in opera. Just how "massive" is this one production that the rest don't matter? I'm getting some vocal training soon, and I could be Christine. That's the only role in this massive musical! for girls who sing. The only explored character, with hopefully well-paid supporting dancers, who all leave the theater door with an attitude like they did something better than you and should have been Christine. Well, that's how un-massive things are behind this, in ways.. like people not caring as much about it. Everyone thinks they care more in the audience, but they never figured out that they should take voice lessons. They probably aren't even in soccer! and have all that money and can sing on their own and in choir. I just didn't know to go to the auditions when I had Ellen to go to. It was good cuz I don't see how I could have made it yet. Maybe in a few weeks. I'd rather group up with people I like, but no, I'm not good enough, LOL not massive enough of a person..
About who deserves what.. if you don't show, you don't go. The kinds of people who show don't seem like experienced singers. What about real music? Doesn't it sound like how singing should sound like? People don't sing and they come surprised. Not me. No one cares how much I sing. How can anyone make fun of my singing when others don' t even match? You just want it better and better and can't even appreciate what's in front of you. I've sung, yes, I have, and I've wanted to. I just felt mixed up in things, like what's school for? By 28 and before, I figured it was unimportant. School for your work, just say it. So, about people who don't sing classically. They might still have a knack of beginner's luck. Maybe, they should figure out life or watch and figure themselves out of that life. They are so insulting, those people who don't sing telling me because I didn't have private training that maybe I cannot do it. That's not really true. You should have given me more time as a kid to sing. I don't think we had money. I did ballet, like everyone else, and gymnastics and baton twirling. Then, too much hw. hw hw. I didn't know school wasn't worth a shit. I feel I'm being picked on as I write about something that doesn't matter. You think it's just the fact I didn't take lessons as a kid. Did these other people? I don't know people like that who started before 15/18. Maybe, some teachers. You know, I learned from ballet and things to be a kid.
Point is people who don't sing think like I don't deserve to sing These people are controlling the level of connection as I write and insulting me about not singing in private lessons as a kid. I didn't know about them. I stayed in choir! I sang! You didn't. That's who I'm comparing myself with. I wanted to sing since 5 when I was in school. I sang for my dad and mom, but they didn't do anything like if I said I like ballet. Actually, I was in gymnastics, and it gave me the strength to sing! I did piano! What the *beep*! Chris Mann did piano since a little boy, and Josh Groban does know, too. It's like everyone's in piano, but that's not performing! Theater is acting. Dance is like music. And no I can't do gymnastics. I was good as it, and I like others carry my childhood with me.
I'm sorry, but I can't get these people to stop interfering when I talk about singing. They keep thinking I'm cheap and can't do it. I learned on my own and in choir. I had a lotta hw, true, but it gave me insight in life. You don't just robot and open your throat and let it pour out like water from a hose. In fact, people worry about singing teachers teaching like this. What do you think about that? And dance? And siblings? A long time ago, singers educated themselves. I was told to stop college singing. You think I don't know if I can sing? It could be better, but it is good compared to others! It's just fun. Too bad if no one fulfilled your dreams and you have nothing to listen to but yourself. What about a singer with no upbringing, no piano, no dance/ballet?? A dancer could beat them at it!! Like a musician dancing! Then, you have safe talents. Not the ones people produce in dreams.
Gotta run!
Can I just say I am better? I don't get any of what other people do. I saw the marines accept Toys for Tots. I live for art, tho, and in a way it is suffering trying to make it. The only suffering I'd have in the military is not doing art.
What is so precious to these older selfish people? I am not saying it's anyone in particular in whatever ways I understand things like it but to include a feeling of the whole movement of trust in this narcissistic way of thinking. It is hard to find someone who doesn't follow this offbeat way of viewing the world. People around my age and older do it, I guess. I don't listen.
I watched a video of the Phantom of the Opera and was immediately reminded inside of Josh Groban. I read a quote by him saying you are either a rock star or an opera diva, the only other thing not being anything as "half singing" in the shower. I guess he is not much older than me. He has much to learn. I watched Chris Mann on YouTube, and he didn't say why this production of Phantom was massive cuz I think they are all equally significant to someone. Was he trying to make it cute and give a sorta multiply interested message? Most people would flip out that they aren't even a singer. People who sing would feel their talents meant nothing or maybe these other singers to me also seem lazy, too lazy to record ALW songs. They think they're better in opera. Just how "massive" is this one production that the rest don't matter? I'm getting some vocal training soon, and I could be Christine. That's the only role in this massive musical! for girls who sing. The only explored character, with hopefully well-paid supporting dancers, who all leave the theater door with an attitude like they did something better than you and should have been Christine. Well, that's how un-massive things are behind this, in ways.. like people not caring as much about it. Everyone thinks they care more in the audience, but they never figured out that they should take voice lessons. They probably aren't even in soccer! and have all that money and can sing on their own and in choir. I just didn't know to go to the auditions when I had Ellen to go to. It was good cuz I don't see how I could have made it yet. Maybe in a few weeks. I'd rather group up with people I like, but no, I'm not good enough, LOL not massive enough of a person..
About who deserves what.. if you don't show, you don't go. The kinds of people who show don't seem like experienced singers. What about real music? Doesn't it sound like how singing should sound like? People don't sing and they come surprised. Not me. No one cares how much I sing. How can anyone make fun of my singing when others don' t even match? You just want it better and better and can't even appreciate what's in front of you. I've sung, yes, I have, and I've wanted to. I just felt mixed up in things, like what's school for? By 28 and before, I figured it was unimportant. School for your work, just say it. So, about people who don't sing classically. They might still have a knack of beginner's luck. Maybe, they should figure out life or watch and figure themselves out of that life. They are so insulting, those people who don't sing telling me because I didn't have private training that maybe I cannot do it. That's not really true. You should have given me more time as a kid to sing. I don't think we had money. I did ballet, like everyone else, and gymnastics and baton twirling. Then, too much hw. hw hw. I didn't know school wasn't worth a shit. I feel I'm being picked on as I write about something that doesn't matter. You think it's just the fact I didn't take lessons as a kid. Did these other people? I don't know people like that who started before 15/18. Maybe, some teachers. You know, I learned from ballet and things to be a kid.
Point is people who don't sing think like I don't deserve to sing These people are controlling the level of connection as I write and insulting me about not singing in private lessons as a kid. I didn't know about them. I stayed in choir! I sang! You didn't. That's who I'm comparing myself with. I wanted to sing since 5 when I was in school. I sang for my dad and mom, but they didn't do anything like if I said I like ballet. Actually, I was in gymnastics, and it gave me the strength to sing! I did piano! What the *beep*! Chris Mann did piano since a little boy, and Josh Groban does know, too. It's like everyone's in piano, but that's not performing! Theater is acting. Dance is like music. And no I can't do gymnastics. I was good as it, and I like others carry my childhood with me.
I'm sorry, but I can't get these people to stop interfering when I talk about singing. They keep thinking I'm cheap and can't do it. I learned on my own and in choir. I had a lotta hw, true, but it gave me insight in life. You don't just robot and open your throat and let it pour out like water from a hose. In fact, people worry about singing teachers teaching like this. What do you think about that? And dance? And siblings? A long time ago, singers educated themselves. I was told to stop college singing. You think I don't know if I can sing? It could be better, but it is good compared to others! It's just fun. Too bad if no one fulfilled your dreams and you have nothing to listen to but yourself. What about a singer with no upbringing, no piano, no dance/ballet?? A dancer could beat them at it!! Like a musician dancing! Then, you have safe talents. Not the ones people produce in dreams.
Gotta run!
Hard
I want ballet and classical/Broadway singing, but it's so much money. It's like I have to pick 1. Both are hard work, and I intend to change teachers for fun.. Maybe next year ballet and this year work on selling a CD. Sell a CD, quit and do ballet? I am trying to get in something like The Phantom of the Opera, but I don't know that I want to work with just any people.. I wrote on Chris Mann's wall saying I wanted to and it was neat to pick yourself who you work with.. I was wanting to support him and see if there were any further opportunities. I know there is nothing planned, so you gotta get with the going.
Can't Get a Hold of an Opportunity
Bound for Broadway, I'd need to sign up, and it isn't worth it. If it were Cats the movie, I'd say hey Dad pay ya back latas (later.)
How You Get In
Well, people are talking to me.
Is it okay to get in Hollywood in a bad way? Like, I could have been a fat actress as a kid? My body is just too big and there are just not that many great workouts? I think that's wrong. You know, my speakers stopped on my old computer. I have one I use that uses batteries that I use for singing, and my dad may fix the speakers on my computer if he can. The small one takes batteries often.
Is it okay to get in Hollywood in a bad way? Like, I could have been a fat actress as a kid? My body is just too big and there are just not that many great workouts? I think that's wrong. You know, my speakers stopped on my old computer. I have one I use that uses batteries that I use for singing, and my dad may fix the speakers on my computer if he can. The small one takes batteries often.
If I got in Cats
I'd wanna be the white cat. I wanna make money and get private lessons I need now! I even danced til 21.
Whose fault?
for being too lazy to talk to other people who post a lot to Chris Mann? You don't want those people to meet him nor be his friends cuz you didn't know. Ha ha ha ha, not at your misfortune, just the funny parts otherwise.
Are you coming out as just against
popular people getting married while they're still popular? I cannot say I have not encountered any big, long-winded "issues," recently. I do care about everyone..
Think of nuns and the mere priest of the parish. What if Ellen were married with kids? I'm not married with kids. I could have been. So, am I Ellen? Or am I the opposite?? When does this kind of thinking not work out?
Think of nuns and the mere priest of the parish. What if Ellen were married with kids? I'm not married with kids. I could have been. So, am I Ellen? Or am I the opposite?? When does this kind of thinking not work out?
People are all on
the most important things
Pirates of the Caribbean - ***
Cats and TPoTO - music and dance
Pirates of the Caribbean - ***
Cats and TPoTO - music and dance
I just
recorded a long thing for Chris Mann. I am trying to be Christine in The Phantom of the Opera, and he was interested when someone said Seirra Bodges, who played Christine. So, I am wondering if there will be a 30th edition recording, thinking not, not even another recording, been 10 years, tho. It's loaded! I talk about copyright and ethnic race! 15 minutes!
Monday, December 22, 2014
TV
The Ellen DeGeneres Show
The hilite today was Meryl Streep, Anna Kendrick, and a British girl. Anna Kendrick is a year older than me. I feel a sense of motherliness that suffices for being from her and a sense I wanna be on top, too. I love Meryl Streep and am so sorry I said she was racist. I mean, people should talk about it, but it shouldn't be like that. I think like everyone is racist, so that's not the best thing to plaque up there. I'm also worried, hope with Ellen that she got the ultimate experience, which I suppose she's busy looking for. Other than my mom, who has such a hard life, she is my favorite person, maybe after Dad and not sure how much my brother has anything to do with me. I dunno about relatives. They just aren't in my life how I'd like. I have my own life with the public and friends, too, I mean. It's nice that Ellen is just a person who goes on TV and has her own life whatever she wants. The world must really be a hard place to connect in. I hope she gets to talk to people, too..
I loved seeing Anna Kendrick but also Meryl Streep, whom I must greatly accept and vie for. Lotta people out there like that you gotta vie for, I know. Meryl is probably special in ways I do not know enough about. I think there is more there. I keep learning more about her and myself seeing people like her, like Julia Roberts! whom I also love! I saw her in a movie and she was so cute, think it was her..
Ellen seems to be doing well, and I hope she is looking forward to a wonderful Christmas, tho it's none of my business. Portia is so regal. I do not know why her head seems so big. Mine did next to Chris Mann, too. So, anyway, Portia knows what's right, right? She'll have a good Christmas with her wife? I am wondering about the parties Ellen attends. Guess someone from Australia is appropriate yet seems inhibited. I'm still a party. I'm not saying I think about marrying Ellen. I just am saying I'd be a blast compared to Portia, in that she is all prim and proper and not really that American. I'm only 1/2 American, so maybe not. Americans all store up things and wait for their turns, it seems. I mostly want to sing and I know I can. I would like to meet or know Ellen but with plenty of others . Maybe, she's quiet, tho. Then, no.
So, it was also cute seeing the girls win. They were so happy! Well, 1 girl, in musical chairs.
I am perfectly happy watching people on TV, but I usually am used to being around people in hi, uptite situations. They aren't exactly Ellen DeGeneres or like Jimmy Fallon. I only see my upset dad and now sick mom. An aunt who looked tired like my mom, aunt-in-law, great, died. It just makes me so sad. :(* I told my mom she was my favorite person, but I mean I get *** outside of my family. She's the one who doesn't touch me. My dad is always crawling around me. Musta done something when I was a baby. Ellen showed a baby on her show, today.. :) It was so cute!.. I saw the dad was young. 1 thing I know is I would want 1 of those fake babies. The thing I know is that you have to be in good shape and good looking yourself if you want a good baby. So I think. Something people forget. So.. I mean, if I were famous and enticed people more myself, maybe people like Meryl Streep would come to me. Young kids tend to cheer you up if you love them, too.
The hilite today was Meryl Streep, Anna Kendrick, and a British girl. Anna Kendrick is a year older than me. I feel a sense of motherliness that suffices for being from her and a sense I wanna be on top, too. I love Meryl Streep and am so sorry I said she was racist. I mean, people should talk about it, but it shouldn't be like that. I think like everyone is racist, so that's not the best thing to plaque up there. I'm also worried, hope with Ellen that she got the ultimate experience, which I suppose she's busy looking for. Other than my mom, who has such a hard life, she is my favorite person, maybe after Dad and not sure how much my brother has anything to do with me. I dunno about relatives. They just aren't in my life how I'd like. I have my own life with the public and friends, too, I mean. It's nice that Ellen is just a person who goes on TV and has her own life whatever she wants. The world must really be a hard place to connect in. I hope she gets to talk to people, too..
I loved seeing Anna Kendrick but also Meryl Streep, whom I must greatly accept and vie for. Lotta people out there like that you gotta vie for, I know. Meryl is probably special in ways I do not know enough about. I think there is more there. I keep learning more about her and myself seeing people like her, like Julia Roberts! whom I also love! I saw her in a movie and she was so cute, think it was her..
Ellen seems to be doing well, and I hope she is looking forward to a wonderful Christmas, tho it's none of my business. Portia is so regal. I do not know why her head seems so big. Mine did next to Chris Mann, too. So, anyway, Portia knows what's right, right? She'll have a good Christmas with her wife? I am wondering about the parties Ellen attends. Guess someone from Australia is appropriate yet seems inhibited. I'm still a party. I'm not saying I think about marrying Ellen. I just am saying I'd be a blast compared to Portia, in that she is all prim and proper and not really that American. I'm only 1/2 American, so maybe not. Americans all store up things and wait for their turns, it seems. I mostly want to sing and I know I can. I would like to meet or know Ellen but with plenty of others . Maybe, she's quiet, tho. Then, no.
So, it was also cute seeing the girls win. They were so happy! Well, 1 girl, in musical chairs.
I am perfectly happy watching people on TV, but I usually am used to being around people in hi, uptite situations. They aren't exactly Ellen DeGeneres or like Jimmy Fallon. I only see my upset dad and now sick mom. An aunt who looked tired like my mom, aunt-in-law, great, died. It just makes me so sad. :(* I told my mom she was my favorite person, but I mean I get *** outside of my family. She's the one who doesn't touch me. My dad is always crawling around me. Musta done something when I was a baby. Ellen showed a baby on her show, today.. :) It was so cute!.. I saw the dad was young. 1 thing I know is I would want 1 of those fake babies. The thing I know is that you have to be in good shape and good looking yourself if you want a good baby. So I think. Something people forget. So.. I mean, if I were famous and enticed people more myself, maybe people like Meryl Streep would come to me. Young kids tend to cheer you up if you love them, too.
Bored Into My Mind
My dad was singing "Michael Row the Boat Ashore" and it stuck in my head, bored in! And I don't know when I'll hear it again. They won't leave me the Hell alone. It could come up at anything. Probably something I did he didn't like, like threw the door a little too hard closed, stupid door! No one gives a care!! You shouldn't be up and m*****ing me. I have a freedom to say what happens to me here.
Going for A
jog! :D The fun to myself, but the meneur is infiltrated all-over Orlando. I'm sorry, is that offensive to innocent people? Okay, so you answer to people for whatever reason. Erm..
More Thoughts
I wanted to be involved in film. Singing seems to be a contest that a public outcast cannot win. In Sweeney Todd, the leads sang and the extras were probably pro singers.
I had some dessert, it both filled me with and made me feel somewhat depleted of energy. I didn't have breakfast cuz of waking up late. I wanna go for a jog. I wanna do this, wanna do that, yea.. I know when people are messing with me, tho, like with my iTunes, which I did not like iTunes. It was popular when I started going to online networking sites. I feel my life was worthless and blame my parents. They probably got me off thinking of the internet early on. I thought it was okay to wait, but that idea makes people crazy. I did get on, as I wanted, eventually. I had other things to do. I didn't know the world "needed" me.
I'm rather sorry to some they thought I was mad with. I dunno even if I was. I said I'd not listen to anyone, but it seems that stopped. They are just playing with me to make me feel bad. I see some things were done against me. To please that which is bad. When my dad is unhappy, any adverse action is put into cycle. I should forget about it, and I kinda will after I post this. I will be bugged about it, tho. Think about it, tho, playing around breaking my computers? I didn't go crazy exactly but was upset I would not then have internet, just a cell phone, which could proceed to break. I want a job but can't seem to be able to stand it that long. I need a 2 hour at a time job that I do once or twice a week. I need to change my therapist to once a month rather than once every week or 2 she's available, if I work. I want to work at a daycare but don't look quite the part. My hair is damaged from the dye, and I guess I just need makeup. I don't know what else is keeping me from working. I want to be a singer. I wonder if the CD will work out. I need to be in good shape like an athlete.
A car outside just bothered me. How pathetic, really tho. It's just pathetic, I mean.
I know people will like me who have normal parents. My mom may seem more accomplished, but I know why. So, maybe she's not. My dad is an innocent man. People hate me for having 2 different kinds of parents. They just say I'm shit from my dad to be quick. '}:)
So, I am sorry but then again I was told I was innocent. What should I say to whom? I just talk in general. I was being hurt. I just said a simple upset message. I am sorry for being mean even to my parents in thought and deed. I still did it, trying to ignore, then I get more hate messages. Just feeding off the dumb trip to relatives who I never wanna know again. Well, would have been nice, but I don't wanna visit with Grams, cuz she is hurtful, changed my nose by rubbing a sofa, too. What can I do? She was smiling all happy.
What can I do to be in the right? Why is what I do picked on so ***ly like it has to be wrong? You want me to stop. Well, I wasn't being bad like you all said, to sum it up. You all think you can be bad and sloppy and I get in so much trouble for things I don't have to. What will happen next? Something else shocking or when I'm in discomfort? You even pretend someone nice did it. I don't give a f***.
There. I am sorry if anyone innocent is hurt, but I will try to mind my own business and solve problems maybe. That was my goal, ignore. What about the iTunes? This little computer is breaking? That just means I have to use the old one, which my dad was gonna throw out.. He's supposed to get it fixed by someone we know zapping in and doing it..
I guess no one will forgive me. I will have to live to myself. He he, my iTunes broke, doesn't make me mad, ehehe, it was only a new computer. Actually, I got it to work after awhile. I'm still mad about it. Who to blame? Other people like the experimenters and this one mad person. :/
Sorry if I "did anything." Or was too quick to act. I mean, who knows, I probably don't need a computer. The old one breaks after like 15 minutes.
I wonder if I can stay away from all this. I'm gonna go see if iTunes works somehow without waiting so long..
I had some dessert, it both filled me with and made me feel somewhat depleted of energy. I didn't have breakfast cuz of waking up late. I wanna go for a jog. I wanna do this, wanna do that, yea.. I know when people are messing with me, tho, like with my iTunes, which I did not like iTunes. It was popular when I started going to online networking sites. I feel my life was worthless and blame my parents. They probably got me off thinking of the internet early on. I thought it was okay to wait, but that idea makes people crazy. I did get on, as I wanted, eventually. I had other things to do. I didn't know the world "needed" me.
I'm rather sorry to some they thought I was mad with. I dunno even if I was. I said I'd not listen to anyone, but it seems that stopped. They are just playing with me to make me feel bad. I see some things were done against me. To please that which is bad. When my dad is unhappy, any adverse action is put into cycle. I should forget about it, and I kinda will after I post this. I will be bugged about it, tho. Think about it, tho, playing around breaking my computers? I didn't go crazy exactly but was upset I would not then have internet, just a cell phone, which could proceed to break. I want a job but can't seem to be able to stand it that long. I need a 2 hour at a time job that I do once or twice a week. I need to change my therapist to once a month rather than once every week or 2 she's available, if I work. I want to work at a daycare but don't look quite the part. My hair is damaged from the dye, and I guess I just need makeup. I don't know what else is keeping me from working. I want to be a singer. I wonder if the CD will work out. I need to be in good shape like an athlete.
A car outside just bothered me. How pathetic, really tho. It's just pathetic, I mean.
I know people will like me who have normal parents. My mom may seem more accomplished, but I know why. So, maybe she's not. My dad is an innocent man. People hate me for having 2 different kinds of parents. They just say I'm shit from my dad to be quick. '}:)
So, I am sorry but then again I was told I was innocent. What should I say to whom? I just talk in general. I was being hurt. I just said a simple upset message. I am sorry for being mean even to my parents in thought and deed. I still did it, trying to ignore, then I get more hate messages. Just feeding off the dumb trip to relatives who I never wanna know again. Well, would have been nice, but I don't wanna visit with Grams, cuz she is hurtful, changed my nose by rubbing a sofa, too. What can I do? She was smiling all happy.
What can I do to be in the right? Why is what I do picked on so ***ly like it has to be wrong? You want me to stop. Well, I wasn't being bad like you all said, to sum it up. You all think you can be bad and sloppy and I get in so much trouble for things I don't have to. What will happen next? Something else shocking or when I'm in discomfort? You even pretend someone nice did it. I don't give a f***.
There. I am sorry if anyone innocent is hurt, but I will try to mind my own business and solve problems maybe. That was my goal, ignore. What about the iTunes? This little computer is breaking? That just means I have to use the old one, which my dad was gonna throw out.. He's supposed to get it fixed by someone we know zapping in and doing it..
I guess no one will forgive me. I will have to live to myself. He he, my iTunes broke, doesn't make me mad, ehehe, it was only a new computer. Actually, I got it to work after awhile. I'm still mad about it. Who to blame? Other people like the experimenters and this one mad person. :/
Sorry if I "did anything." Or was too quick to act. I mean, who knows, I probably don't need a computer. The old one breaks after like 15 minutes.
I wonder if I can stay away from all this. I'm gonna go see if iTunes works somehow without waiting so long..
Who was that for?
Only a soft person would keep asking me about that.
I'm not as young as you all act like I am, anymore.
Here's a message directed to someone: people experimenting on me are f***ing me with and I don't wanna talk.
To others: I'm a simple person in many ways. I don't accept anyone latching onto this experiment and being mean to me.
To specific others? I don't really wanna fight but will have to somehow slowly back off, don't want them listening to mean messages and orders from others.
Stop acting like my relationships need to be altered.
You are so h***y and gonna make me so h***y if you don't quit acting up about things. I should have been in college and gotten a bachelor's degree. I wonder if I'll graduate in 3 years, but I don't know how long general studies is. I don't even know what to go for, I wanna make a CD now but think no one'll care.
I'm not as young as you all act like I am, anymore.
Here's a message directed to someone: people experimenting on me are f***ing me with and I don't wanna talk.
To others: I'm a simple person in many ways. I don't accept anyone latching onto this experiment and being mean to me.
To specific others? I don't really wanna fight but will have to somehow slowly back off, don't want them listening to mean messages and orders from others.
Stop acting like my relationships need to be altered.
You are so h***y and gonna make me so h***y if you don't quit acting up about things. I should have been in college and gotten a bachelor's degree. I wonder if I'll graduate in 3 years, but I don't know how long general studies is. I don't even know what to go for, I wanna make a CD now but think no one'll care.
I'm so sorry
I should not have been upset at anyone, but my dad distracts me. Wah! I guess people, still, all went crazy cuza Depp.
I wasn't even on their page.
Just wanted to check my Twitter feed for the rest, as they'd been out. Are they at supper?
Story
There was a girl named YeLisa. She was wearing a nice yellow and white checkered dress with a white blouse under, white long sock-ings, yellow shoes. Her light golden curly hair flew about her face in the wind..
She had 2 older friends and 3 younger friends. The older 2 were male and female, 30s and 40s respectively. They also had lots of friends they were with a lot. The younger ones were all girls. 1 with beautiful red hair, 1 with hilights, and a cute 1 with black hair.
YeLisa walked by the water, watching her younger friends, who were wrapped up about themselves and barely noticed her.
She walked away and ran into the boy. He wrapped his arms around her and held her closely and walked with her holding her a long time from the love he harbored for her vivacious personality..
When she reached the end of the harbor, he went back to care for each of her 3 younger friends. He picked up the one with white hilights, and the other 2 sisters he also interacted with. The 2 girls trotted along next to him..
YeLisa's lady friend showed up, and she ran to give her a hug in all the excitement and she wrapped her arms around her very lovingly.. The world runs on love, you know that? My dad always said I'uz lazy (I was lazy.) She picked her up, and she felt tired and settled but with her always onto something in her mind, some feeling.
Lots of people were at the other end of the harbor. A pirate boat showed up. YeLisa, still being held while she sat, looked over and was surprised. She said she was a pirate for some reason! There was room enough for them in the pirate ship. The others would go on a liner.
YeLisa went to swab the deck with the maties. They had a lovely assortment of seafood, that which vegans around must solely loathe. Also was fresh fruit, very juicy for some reason! YeLisa's older lady friend said it was about time she went into bed. She trotted off and tucked herself in and dreamed of being a glorious pirate dancing around in piratey dresses of red and gold and other colors.
They were patient on the boats and finally reached another land. They went from Holland to the creepy Norway to the north. They stayed in warm homes and had to dress up warm to go outside. YeLisa began to cry, and the lady friend held her/picked her up. She knew she was older and was still happy. She cried every night missing the past. She was fed and still did the activities others did, like their necessary jazz dance. Of course, there were other important things, like some gymnastics, which she was pretty good at. She expressed and explored feelings by painting things. Her friend became her mom and took care of her and helped keep her other company. It was just such a depressing way of existing. She didn't even just missed home but missed other things too that made her unhappy.
She was happy as she still remained a support for her 3 younger girl friends who played with one another. They cooked and found fun and challenging activities.
She had a journal where she kept her private guilty feelings.. Her lady friend found it and asked if she could read it, and she helped her and elaborated just talking things out like people must have done in olden days.
She had 2 older friends and 3 younger friends. The older 2 were male and female, 30s and 40s respectively. They also had lots of friends they were with a lot. The younger ones were all girls. 1 with beautiful red hair, 1 with hilights, and a cute 1 with black hair.
YeLisa walked by the water, watching her younger friends, who were wrapped up about themselves and barely noticed her.
She walked away and ran into the boy. He wrapped his arms around her and held her closely and walked with her holding her a long time from the love he harbored for her vivacious personality..
When she reached the end of the harbor, he went back to care for each of her 3 younger friends. He picked up the one with white hilights, and the other 2 sisters he also interacted with. The 2 girls trotted along next to him..
YeLisa's lady friend showed up, and she ran to give her a hug in all the excitement and she wrapped her arms around her very lovingly.. The world runs on love, you know that? My dad always said I'uz lazy (I was lazy.) She picked her up, and she felt tired and settled but with her always onto something in her mind, some feeling.
Lots of people were at the other end of the harbor. A pirate boat showed up. YeLisa, still being held while she sat, looked over and was surprised. She said she was a pirate for some reason! There was room enough for them in the pirate ship. The others would go on a liner.
YeLisa went to swab the deck with the maties. They had a lovely assortment of seafood, that which vegans around must solely loathe. Also was fresh fruit, very juicy for some reason! YeLisa's older lady friend said it was about time she went into bed. She trotted off and tucked herself in and dreamed of being a glorious pirate dancing around in piratey dresses of red and gold and other colors.
They were patient on the boats and finally reached another land. They went from Holland to the creepy Norway to the north. They stayed in warm homes and had to dress up warm to go outside. YeLisa began to cry, and the lady friend held her/picked her up. She knew she was older and was still happy. She cried every night missing the past. She was fed and still did the activities others did, like their necessary jazz dance. Of course, there were other important things, like some gymnastics, which she was pretty good at. She expressed and explored feelings by painting things. Her friend became her mom and took care of her and helped keep her other company. It was just such a depressing way of existing. She didn't even just missed home but missed other things too that made her unhappy.
She was happy as she still remained a support for her 3 younger girl friends who played with one another. They cooked and found fun and challenging activities.
She had a journal where she kept her private guilty feelings.. Her lady friend found it and asked if she could read it, and she helped her and elaborated just talking things out like people must have done in olden days.
I'm in huge trouble.
My gramma gets mad too easily if I say there's a problem. She "needs to mind her own business," tho. They were bothering me in secret message. That's all. And they hurt my mom. Or my Gramma did. They were talking to her jokingly.. at least 1 person. What could I do? I had no idea. I should have nicely said my mom needs peace and quiet, but she acted like she didn't care that she was killing her maybe. It was easy to tell. She didn't really care that much, anyway. She keeps beating on her life! She dropped her laptop forcefully in 2010. I shouldn't have gone psycho but been civilized about it. No one is there for me. My dad doesn't talk about this stuff.
Apology
I am so sorry, if you wanna use a person as a tool for punishment is fine. Maybe, that's your time and your way to do it. I do not understand, but I wanted to say it also bothered me, tho I get argued that it's a fact and not an if this if that. I guess it is. And it is okay to you as a punishment opportunity. I don't get it, but I guess it's just wrong to say. Even if that's all you can figure out cuz you can't figure out that you deserve punishment.
TV
The Ellen DeGeneres Show
She seemed pretty happy, today, for her mood I am glad.
The cute blonde from Night at the Mew ZEE um (museum) as a cowboy was so cool. I like popular guys like that, too. He was good at the games of throwing.
The girl who was working a year to pay for college was so cute! Between the time her dad died, which scares me and frightens me. My family is now passing.
Jeannie at Disney in Hawaii was so good! She got to go with Dad and Mom as a surprise when she got there. Family is her favorite thing, and Disney.
The audience gets to got Hawaii and it's so cool!
I am so happy for the couple who proposed to marry.
She seemed pretty happy, today, for her mood I am glad.
The cute blonde from Night at the Mew ZEE um (museum) as a cowboy was so cool. I like popular guys like that, too. He was good at the games of throwing.
The girl who was working a year to pay for college was so cute! Between the time her dad died, which scares me and frightens me. My family is now passing.
Jeannie at Disney in Hawaii was so good! She got to go with Dad and Mom as a surprise when she got there. Family is her favorite thing, and Disney.
The audience gets to got Hawaii and it's so cool!
I am so happy for the couple who proposed to marry.
Sunday, December 21, 2014
O MY ***
Why does this BEEP happen to me!? I didn't do a *beep*n thing! They were going around nasty and mean and starting stuff and they keep acting like I DO IT. D: Wa ha ha this is so pathetic.
To go over what I did wrong was I should have been even more self-concerned. I should have not sounded like a freak when I said it. I should be like, "Excuse me.." or just leave.
O MY!
Yes, I reacted negatively in the noises I made, but I didn't start anything. Who would? They were following me.
I hope this post does not offend anyone.
To go over what I did wrong was I should have been even more self-concerned. I should have not sounded like a freak when I said it. I should be like, "Excuse me.." or just leave.
O MY!
Yes, I reacted negatively in the noises I made, but I didn't start anything. Who would? They were following me.
I hope this post does not offend anyone.
Shouting Out Some Apology!
that no one needs to read?
but anyway sorry I felt so upset. I am already upset and cooling down. I suppose no one has to ever forgive me.
I must also apologize for losing it at my aunt's house.
but anyway sorry I felt so upset. I am already upset and cooling down. I suppose no one has to ever forgive me.
I must also apologize for losing it at my aunt's house.
Foolishness
England is coming in and going all crazy if someone in their past thought online karaoke should be legal. Do you realize it says that nowhere, specifically?? Do you know who one of the ringleaders of this honest misunderstanding is? Viciousness and atrocity and pure animalisticness! LOL?? No pun intended? You already made a pun of me. You all don't even own it/deserve that title of dignity. It already benefits you lazy people out there. No pun intended.. It's so funny yet sometimes pathetic, as I illuminated. Really absurd. Tell me, what did you accomplish now?
So, yea.
I was mainly worried @ my mom. My uncle-in-law has something going this whole time, too, seems to have racial issues. My aunt was just acting like she's too good.. really. My Granma can't be that way. I don't accept people testing out others and how they can deal with things. This is all cancer risk. I take unnecessary pills for my mom, too..
Yes I care and am sorry so am hiding.
Strong
I tried to have a good time. They are animals. That person, do not listen to them. They don't listen to their elders still. I have to worry about them hurting me and hunting me down. My mom does not stand up for herself. My dad is bothering me walking hypnotically on the stairs. He does not care. I can say whatever I want. They just keep bothering me, tho.
Massive Problem
Fess up you did it, I thought.. My Gramma was able to make a killing noise of/to my mom. I confronted the whole party. My mom has cancer. It was a longer kind. I don't agree. The others also tortured me. They were conceited. They don't give a straight answer. I told them they were mad at me for nothing, too. That person wasted my visit. Wanna explain so everyone will know you're wrong the easy way? I am not sure of who?? People don't always care about my family. They just added another big insult.. They don't get they did it! Don't hide, criminal. What, that's you? I am not being mean, but this is ridiculous. They keep making racial slurs. I don't really trust/care for any of them.. They could have at least talked to me while I was there. It was my gramma and now just laughing. But the rest were bad. I will not accept this coming in my social life. Forget about the past. I just was saying what was done to me here. That person did it. They are cornering my mom. The uncle-in-law was being mean racially. That liar keeps hurting me and acts like we talk. My aunt keeps laughing. They act like I did something by confronting them.
When all did you
develop?
5
10
15-16
5 - I became the little girl I was.
10 - turned into a little lady or preteen.
15-16 - stopped my more academic mindset. Became like a fantastical lady.
My relatives
have given up their lives and manners for my younger girl cousin. They were really bothering me thanks to some bickerer. Stop making me out as the scene, you oldies. You apparently have no life, in a way. Quit saying my family is bad and like me. You don't even notice me. The noises they're making made part of my brain pop. Quit attacking me! People on TV are dissing me. My relatives are sending nasty secret messages. Trying to f*** w/me. Wow, you losers listening to that person. Go rip down someone else's life like this. They started being mean for no reason but this worthlessness. You've lost it. What the *beep* has gotten into you? You keep forgetting what you did to me, acted upset for no reason, Quit adding more of your dumb foolery. You are evil. They are trying to affect my body, and I don't want to be attacked by them. Quit making a deal of me protecting myself and your useless comments if me. No one agrees with that but those disillusioned. You also think the attractive Asians are treated as not. They are being giddy about affecting me. Give me my family back.
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Problem
I didn't 'to mean anything. They thought I said something else. My younger girl cousin had a baby, and I said I don't like those people and just ew that my aunt saw the birth. I didn't diss the baby. They are being mean, and it ' snot like I meant anything. They think it's so special they're making ticking noises in the rooms I'm in. I asked my dad if he had a problem. I said they were not talking to us. They made lots of obvious noises. They think I should be treated worsely now, too. The person is poking at me in private like I'm not good enough, and someone said someone I don't like is fed to my baby. Why won't anyone leave me the hell alone! They touched a certain part with the noises. I don't give a shit about them. This person started saying I'm a foul of being to old for things that are inappropriate and unnecessary.
Weird
Someone thinks only they can have what they want. That's weird, now they don't have it, that which is desired. It's not in the meat.
Someone pulled being white from me when I took off.
Saturdays. :)
I wanna see my Grandma but maybe after supper. Maybe not? I sang yesterday. Like over 1/2 hour.
What, now?
Is this person turned off cuza you? I don't wanna see that person everywhere. Just saying to my readers. But the turning off is really pathetic/unfortunate. Why bother, unless it's personal? This is tragic. I guess you'd think some of it was the person. You literally went in and did that. So.. I find that a personal violation I could report to a pro. They don't seem to be able to cross that bridge, usually.
Also, I'm having partly a bad visit here. That person turned someone against me. Pathetic. Someone thinks some things aren't worth anything. What about in their lives? Just others? All for their side? Which is it? You think this is wrong, what I say?
Someone is playing around knocking. Trying to also get more attention?
Upset
Why is this person changing things? What can I do? I am both sad and mad at others. What should I do? This is not a game. This is ***. If someone likes someone, they can't (just) enter important parts of my world. They can't affect my whole life. Speaking somewhat figuratively, do accept them in ways.
Also, they are playing around with me, again, tacky things physically.
I'm just so sad and do not accept what that person is doing. Affecting my ability to escape. This is so lame. I could have had fun away from them. Guess I can't trust anyone. Need my own fun. It's just that way in ways. I will not accept every day that person there to tickle me that I don 'tv deserve glory. I am quite mad at the other person. No, it does not make sense. I'm sorry I still upset you. I think what you did was not right. I think the opposite would be wrong. This is just pathetic. A real pity. It seems they turned someone off, too. Also, if I think about a certain thing, people with me go berserk. This is what I do not accept, saying no one should please me and just turning people in the world off. Evil and pathetic. Did an idea invade you? This wasn't at risk, before.
Problem
I think they are doing something against me.. and listening to that person. I already was and am in agreement that it's up to the individual if they like me etc.. Why does it bother me, you ask? I don't wanna lose anything. Relationships don't go like that for me. That person did not do anything to deserve to overshadow me. People are bemused digging into a stressful past of mine, too. This post is not for everyone's eyes cuz I think they'd get mad. Another thing, me getting upset yesterday should not "change" things for me and concerning that person. They are trying to hurt me. I could not think w/o the curse words. I even said I didn't mean the actual curse words, I managed. Something else could happen. I am not gonna lose something big for something little. I'm rather sorry I even said all this. I don't know really "how" to say. Also, I think someone cursed me to think of like honking and such noises. I cannot do what they do to me to them. I am not here to play around losing everyone. I do not totally believe in only me being called racial slurs. That person is making extended family against me. This is not your trash bin. Nothing should be punished using that person like I don't got it. I am not a stinker. Something went down via the order of someone else. It gave me a bad night. I heard different noises. And it sounds like the obvious choice had been executed. How lame? I'm still here.. That makes me very sad. That is all. That is all? I want what I could have had back. I know this is farting around. What a waste. I was already worried about how this could happen. So, what? You don't do this to others. This is pathetic! Racism. I just wanted to state why I'm sad, from last night again. Why are these people all talking to and being mean to me? What about who I am? I am being scuffed under. Other people still are them. So what if I got told to take a break and leave college? What could have caused this change? Good, another topic. So, sorry it came out this way. I am just so sad and feel disgraced, like people wanna humiliate me. And hurt me. I feel there is even more to say, in some ways. I can't seem to tie it all up. Why listen to that person and pretend I'm not as good? Why such an attractive person so 2-sided? Really? Their life can't depend on me getting hurt. About the main topics.. I mean, I don't wanna have things taken away all the time in the end. I don't deserve that solely. What should I do? It was more than just a personal decision to do something. I don't wanna even fancy it in stride all the time. All because of that person, tho. If the individual decides what it wants is okay. I know who all's fault the shit is, tho.. I can't seem to get support.
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