I wanted to be involved in film. Singing seems to be a contest that a public outcast cannot win. In Sweeney Todd, the leads sang and the extras were probably pro singers.
I had some dessert, it both filled me with and made me feel somewhat depleted of energy. I didn't have breakfast cuz of waking up late. I wanna go for a jog. I wanna do this, wanna do that, yea.. I know when people are messing with me, tho, like with my iTunes, which I did not like iTunes. It was popular when I started going to online networking sites. I feel my life was worthless and blame my parents. They probably got me off thinking of the internet early on. I thought it was okay to wait, but that idea makes people crazy. I did get on, as I wanted, eventually. I had other things to do. I didn't know the world "needed" me.
I'm rather sorry to some they thought I was mad with. I dunno even if I was. I said I'd not listen to anyone, but it seems that stopped. They are just playing with me to make me feel bad. I see some things were done against me. To please that which is bad. When my dad is unhappy, any adverse action is put into cycle. I should forget about it, and I kinda will after I post this. I will be bugged about it, tho. Think about it, tho, playing around breaking my computers? I didn't go crazy exactly but was upset I would not then have internet, just a cell phone, which could proceed to break. I want a job but can't seem to be able to stand it that long. I need a 2 hour at a time job that I do once or twice a week. I need to change my therapist to once a month rather than once every week or 2 she's available, if I work. I want to work at a daycare but don't look quite the part. My hair is damaged from the dye, and I guess I just need makeup. I don't know what else is keeping me from working. I want to be a singer. I wonder if the CD will work out. I need to be in good shape like an athlete.
A car outside just bothered me. How pathetic, really tho. It's just pathetic, I mean.
I know people will like me who have normal parents. My mom may seem more accomplished, but I know why. So, maybe she's not. My dad is an innocent man. People hate me for having 2 different kinds of parents. They just say I'm shit from my dad to be quick. '}:)
So, I am sorry but then again I was told I was innocent. What should I say to whom? I just talk in general. I was being hurt. I just said a simple upset message. I am sorry for being mean even to my parents in thought and deed. I still did it, trying to ignore, then I get more hate messages. Just feeding off the dumb trip to relatives who I never wanna know again. Well, would have been nice, but I don't wanna visit with Grams, cuz she is hurtful, changed my nose by rubbing a sofa, too. What can I do? She was smiling all happy.
What can I do to be in the right? Why is what I do picked on so ***ly like it has to be wrong? You want me to stop. Well, I wasn't being bad like you all said, to sum it up. You all think you can be bad and sloppy and I get in so much trouble for things I don't have to. What will happen next? Something else shocking or when I'm in discomfort? You even pretend someone nice did it. I don't give a f***.
There. I am sorry if anyone innocent is hurt, but I will try to mind my own business and solve problems maybe. That was my goal, ignore. What about the iTunes? This little computer is breaking? That just means I have to use the old one, which my dad was gonna throw out.. He's supposed to get it fixed by someone we know zapping in and doing it..
I guess no one will forgive me. I will have to live to myself. He he, my iTunes broke, doesn't make me mad, ehehe, it was only a new computer. Actually, I got it to work after awhile. I'm still mad about it. Who to blame? Other people like the experimenters and this one mad person. :/
Sorry if I "did anything." Or was too quick to act. I mean, who knows, I probably don't need a computer. The old one breaks after like 15 minutes.
I wonder if I can stay away from all this. I'm gonna go see if iTunes works somehow without waiting so long..