Problem

I think they are doing something against me.. and listening to that person.  I already was and am in agreement that it's up to the individual if they like me etc..  Why does it bother me, you ask?  I don't wanna lose anything.  Relationships don't go like that for me.  That person did not do anything to deserve to overshadow me.  People are bemused digging into a stressful past of mine, too.  This post is not for everyone's eyes cuz I think they'd get mad.  Another thing, me getting upset yesterday should not "change" things for me and concerning that person.  They are trying to hurt me.  I could not think w/o the curse words.  I even said I didn't mean the actual curse words, I managed.  Something else could happen.  I am not gonna lose something big for something little.  I'm rather sorry I even said all this.  I don't know really "how" to say.  Also, I think someone cursed me to think of like honking and such noises.  I cannot do what they do to me to them.  I am not here to play around losing everyone.  I do not totally believe in only me being called racial slurs.  That person is making extended family against me.  This is not your trash bin.  Nothing should be punished using that person like I don't got it.  I am not a stinker.  Something went down via the order of someone else.  It gave me a bad night.  I heard different noises.  And it sounds like the obvious choice had been executed.  How lame?  I'm still here..  That makes me very sad.  That is all.  That is all?  I want what I could have had back.  I know this is farting around.  What a waste.  I was already worried about how this could happen.  So, what?  You don't do this to others.  This is pathetic!  Racism.  I just wanted to state why I'm sad, from last night again.  Why are these people all talking to and being mean to me?  What about who I am?  I am being scuffed under.  Other people still are them.  So what if I got told to take a break and leave college?  What could have caused this change?  Good, another topic.  So, sorry it came out this way.  I am just so sad and feel disgraced, like people wanna humiliate me.  And hurt me.  I feel there is even more to say, in some ways.  I can't seem to tie it all up.  Why listen to that person and pretend I'm not as good?  Why such an attractive person so 2-sided?  Really?  Their life can't depend on me getting hurt.  About the main topics.. I mean, I don't wanna have things taken away all the time in the end.  I don't deserve that solely.  What should I do?  It was more than just a personal decision to do something.  I don't wanna even fancy it in stride all the time.  All because of that person, tho.  If the individual decides what it wants is okay.  I know who all's fault the shit is, tho..  I can't seem to get support.