Why isn't there anyone in my life who's over and above my head and knows the next step to leading a horror-free life? The way people treat me like i'm bad or had it too easy?
Kids have parents telling them what others know they need to do, like it's important but you know since no one else says anything they think not really.
My life was put into jeopardy by others. They told us to study hard, but it was too hard. We didn't roll along merrily in school. It was also a stupid social scene.
My health is not Humpty Dumpty. I was freaked out when I moved to Orlando, back in Florida. My dad, since I am not perfect supposedly, made it sound like I was Asian or a nigger or some such at the table. He just said, "What?" all mad at me. I had to leave the table. I started off with pasta and hot chicken tenders. They don't sell those no more. When we moved, I found frozen hamburgers. I was tired of the Chinese. I was in my room all day. I just wanted to live. I didn't want to run into my parents much. When I did, there was trouble. My dad likes to put on an act, like he's on autopilot and means no harm. But we do back from his viciousness, like we have to admit his life is not ideal, which would make him mad to hear. My mom now has cancer and had surgery for her eye. That leaves me in dread, for I almost would rather go untreated, take a pill and no surgery. In fact, I did get a small turor under my brain that went away or stopped growing.
So, let's measure.. 2008 we moved to Orlando and by 2009 I was trying to eat healthier again, reasonable after being on a diet of lots of healthy food. I also had homemade pizzas. I enjoyed fast food, finally, more. Something got in the way, don't know what. I didn't make it to a fully healthy schedule. I just did some. Sometimes, I had canned soup. Things like that. So, I got on pills mid-2010. Something happened online, and I know my dad is there waiting for something bad to happen so he can laugh, like I deserve it and others don't. I thought no one was supposed to call me Asian. No one said I had to want to be, too scary to say. My dad got me Hot Pockets pizza, too. I don't like them much. This all went into 2012. We ate out sometimes that year. I ended up in college and took a PE course. I got kicked out, manipulated for no real reason. I've been struggling. We don't always have burgers. I had hot dogs sometimes more recently but not now. So, it's been a bit humpty dumpty. I had a practice of having vegetables by like 2013. I dunno, before I had spices. I could not eat like that now. My body says no. I have diabetes and probably still high cholesterol, need the pills back, which probably caused the diabetes.
I have stuff to make a sandwich, breakfast things, apples, bananas.
I started walking and jogging outside concerning living in Orlando in 2009, maybe midway or possibly early on. Dunno. It was freaky. I was independent of my parents then. Ever since the N word thing online with Tim Burton, I think my parents have filled some gap and been at my tail. They never do this. They started blaming me for things in the past. They didn't say it. Now, I've gotten healthier exercise-wise and do it more. It's not always soothing.
I don't wanna go around with my fingers crossed that I wanted to eat unhealthy.