Monday, November 8, 2010
"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" Days
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Mia Wasikowska - ballet
Noses at Will
This is definitely a small version of a rubbery Mid East nose. It just has that look except it's shorter. She probably feels smart but not social. I think it's the way you stress and arrange and relax the nose muscles. Mine sorta used to flare, but it was never just long.
I watched The Karate Kid 2010, and the African American boy had white on his head where the braids were tied. I saw a DVD from Netflix on births, and I saw the black babies are born white. They psych themselves into getting black. Also, this boy had pink nipples, whereas mine are caramel with pink in the middle. My breast is very white.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
I was maybe gonna go see my mom perform.
Diet & Bathroom
Something That Makes Sense With Helena Bonham Carter
Friday, November 5, 2010
Reminiscence of Ballet
What I Wish I Did
decided on the public school
9th grade
1. English II Gifted
2. Geometry Gifted (I was 4th in the state.)
3. Biology I Honors
4. World Geography
5. Dance Team
6. Talented Theater
7.
10th grade
1. English III Advanced Placement + Gifted
2. Algebra II Gifted
3. Biology II
4. World History
5. Dance Team
6. Talented Theater
7.
11th grade
1. English IV Advanced Placement + Gifted
2. Advanced Math + Trigonometry Advanced Placement + Gifted
3. Chemistry I
4. American History Advanced Placement + Gifted
5. Dance Team
6. Talented Theater
7.
12th grade
1. Calculus Advanced Placement + Gifted
2. Chemistry II
3. Social Studies
4. Dance Team
5. Talented Theater
6.
7.
I can stick in the other requirements and give or take by the end.
What I Wish I Did
3rd grade - cheerleading prep at the end of the year
4th grade - baton
5th grade - gymnastics
6th grade - cheerleading
moved
7th grade - cheerleading, gifted testing, talented theater testing
8th grade - cheerleading
9th grade - 12th grade - dance team, talented theater
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Not Working
Dance Team - Dedication and What Cuts It
Remembering Talented Theater
I didn't do it my second year. I did it my third year. I remember my second year seeing them do stage combat and perform during lunch.
We had a different teacher each of three years. The first was a lady with medium brown hair. The second was a man who was rather short with black hair and a moustache or something. I did it third year, and we had a woman with short black hair and bangs, curly-wavy.
Each year in drama there was very distinct. I liked third year because I was secretary and helped backstage. First year seemed to have the most opportunity at the high school. I regret not trying out for gifted in 7th instead of 8th grade. I also regret not starting with Talented Theater. I feel I am actually too old is the reason I am not doing it now. I know I'm not, but it's too old for me. I'm gonna just worry about money and food on the table and shopping for clothes. I made a vow not to throw things away like I used to.
I watched the making of "The Nightmare Before Christmas."
I don't think I was meant to be a story writer in a way. Sometimes I come up with something, but I never recorded these things. It seems very difficult to orchestrate music, as well.
Now I'm watching the commentary for it with Tim Burton the creator, the director, and the composer.
I just watched "A Nightmare Before Christmas" again.
I found the part I was looking for, the base guitar with the Danny Elfman head in it.
I thought it was a bit disgusting like that creature made out of bugs and the holding hostages while Jack ruins Christmas.
I don't know what I think the cutest part is.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
All People Wanna Do
To different capacities we are all very special.
I wonder if only
south China is safe. It seems that northwest China has darker skin than southeast and maybe same to dead south.
My mom is south southeast Chinese. I imagine southwest Chinese is like Indochina.
You have to know if something looks European or interesting. There are islanders that are only so-so. They do look very young.
My mom grew up doing ballet and then did gymnastics. I feel comfortable about each her and my dad and am not sure what would have happened if they never met, like my dad might want to pick another Chinese lady and my mom was just doing it for her major in English as a Second Language, ESL.
My mom was number one in gymnastics. That's like saying that the U.S. gymnasts were cute or someone very talented.
I notice already somebody is
Working
I get allowance and wanna ask my dad for something but just spent a lot of his money messing up dying my hair. Anyway, so, I was in Wal-Mart and found an outfit I really liked that would be around $25. Maybe I will ask him to go. I think it's on sale. There were a few more things tho I really liked this one.
So, I wanna get a job so I can get mucho new clothes. My mom said wait until next week to see if with these benefits I get financially, mail sent to me, that when I work will I need to pay them half of my earnings then.
Do Jews have a certain look like Africans and Asians?
The thing about Africans is they are totally different from Europeans and Asians. Asians might be similar. I don't know, it's just that my mom is from an island in Asia. There are sexy Asian minorities. China is like Europe because it's 1 name for 1 big thing. We think we know exactly what different supposed extremes could be.
What's going around is that this famous actress Kate Beckinsale has 1|8 Burmese or something. There are some little countries like a part of Indochina between China and India pretty basically.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indochina
The rest is just the Filipins and Japan and Korea in the northeast.
I feel pretty safe because people always want to know "it's China." Indochina is neat. It includes Vietnam. It's basically goes Vietnam Taiwan & Filipins then Japan and Korea. So, south China isn't really dark, but northwest is. I may be wrong, but there are light people. I am compiling these things to post as well.
So, Asians are very black and white. They are also attractive but don't look like modern people. They are so good. I suppose if someone marries them have to make sure they match. Like, my mom is pretty disciplined. She's from the 1950s|60s. I don't feel the same about other Asians, just my mom. I hate it when people pick at me and pretend they're so perfect. I can see the good sides to each of my parents and know about the rest of my family relations.
If I had a mom from northeast China, they'd have that thin crepe skin. Then there's the northwest which has that athletic Mongoloid look. The middle has tribes which include blonde hair and blue eyes, like the indians in Europe, in the southeast.
So, I think it's bad when people are mean to very attractive people of another race, which is rare. Very attractive to me is worldly, a good citizen or someone open to the world.
I think Asians all have freedom. Vietnam is on the coast and the rest of Indochina have varying degrees of proximity to India or China. Jews need to worry but not really because they are also so European. I don't know why north Asia doesn't look Russian. Actually, there are eskimos and pagans there.
Jews are just jews. It's a very religious feeling. Ethnic Jews don't have a certain look nor color in a way. The color may be like Greece, sometimes light sometimes dark. I know because there are ones with light hair.
Africans do have a certain look as much as Asian has the Asian features so-to-speak. It's hard to say. I think they think that the Caucasoids in the Middle East are Asian but not in that way with the pinched up look. I don't have blatant things like that because I consider myself a normal person. It feels more like being Jew. My hair was not born black, though. Only rarely was it really that black. It's sorta a neat color, though, if you like the rest of you. I think I had more of a white Mongolian look. I did gymnastics, so I had the athletic look, though in a way I was thin.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michelle_Trachtenburg
Here is the Jewish look though. I think I have a handle on it now. If you watch Audrey Hepburn helping Africans you will see the modern look of Africans. They really have black skin, not brown like most Africans in the US. I guess living in the US is what it is. It feels like I'm getting Jew almost. I have north American native American, though.
These are Cherokees. So, obviously, indians have caught on in the U.S. Europe is an old country, so the tribes are set with blonde hair and the eskimos in Russia and the north pole.
I think the way Asians look is just how they look. They feel what they feel about Europeans. Europeans aren't always as delicate in their culture but are very cute. I think other cultures are mysterious. I realize Pocahontas doesn't look so European, but she seems to notice the differences.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pocahontas#Journey_to_England_and_death
She seems pretty white to me. Indians can make themselves European for some reason. Maybe it was for the beauty they are indian. The kid looks cute.
Johnny Depp is related to the first black woman who freed or whatever and that she had kids apparently with someone white. I think he is a direct descendant. I am not prejudiced against blacks as a race but feel different around different ones. They are so dark I cannot match up. I do not understand, but I guess the ones who get fresh air are best off too. Europeans are hard workers.
I'm happy and feel well-accepted overall.
I wonder if my mom and I will get new keyboards
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
I just had a weird thought...
...not to take Theater so seriously with film because it seems too hard. Film is something you have to earn. I wonder if I will go to school at all. I wanna work so I can buy stuff and am apprehensive about the bus and getting up. Ballet might be okay, but I just wanna be a real person for now. They just repeat easy things.
I might do theater, and I might do ballet. I don't know what will determine, though I really wanna work and get some money. I am worried about the work schedule, too. I don't feel good enough yet, neither. I wonder if I will clean out these little shelves from the garage and where I can put them!
I saw a slimy blackish snake again by our door area slipping away thru the grass.
I do like my dyed hair, too, but am saving money for the DVDs and think this might be enough. I want a specialist to do it maybe.
Masturbation
Masturbation is when you want to watch porn and follow suit in real life. It's about sex and stimulating the genitals.
There is also the thing like you see English like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music when she sat on a pine cone.
There are feelings of dizziness that I don't have that are not unlike this.
I can still remember..
..that I was so lucky that this cute guy told the Talented Music teacher about me in drama club that I could play piano for the senior play my freshman year. The music instructor didn't really play all the notes. If she told me to do that I could have. I was stuck at the first page. The music teacher was different the next year, but she came back as a counselor my 3rd year and counseled me from a notification from my teacher, maybe the history teacher I had 2nd semester 1st year.
They did something very interesting, You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown. I went on YouTube and found prepubescents doing most of the things online it seemed. That's just to me so different. I don't know what it was, each person doing well at what they do most. Today young people either are very thin and underfed looking, a passing feeling I get, or they look half asleep|half alive. Sure, the glamor queen will have a certain look, but not everyone can be the glamor queen, unless you are saying everyone can be glamorous if they play their cards right.
Like, I miss where people looked semi-real. The 2nd year wasn't really so bad. I was the youngest in drama again, no freshman, though there were a lot of 16-year-old freshman.
Like, it's hard to imagine why young people today have an over stereotypical shrink look, where they are thin but with little substance. I was never of little substance in my inclinations and things I hold as important. I wouldn't mind saying that about myself, but it's not true. I remember seeing little kids and wonder how to this day they look. I never had many attractive blondes in my class, so I don't know.
Well, Halloween is over. Is it just me or does class of 01 have a thing with Halloween? It was so neat they did up the halls so fancy maybe slightly of a scary effect of Halloween. Well, I was in student council the 1st semester of my 3rd year. I was a junior class rep. I was gonna be sec of French, but I got in Spanish. Gifted was okay, but what is most important is getting on dance team or flag team or cheerleading. I still wish I did the flag team, though it would be a lot of work. If I can clean up my stuff, I may do stuff that's fun like that. My parents support me. If I work I can get more money. But, I also can live under their insurance until 26 according to Obama. I think he is the most attractive president. My dad likes the one who was killed, JFK? I read it was Camelot days with kids in the White House.
I should have run for class rep my first year, but I hear they got a good group. This girl who taught me swimming that summer started to treat me differently when I decided not to. My homeroom was student council which was also special ed.
I miss those days when you see the older more mature people. I am see in a way more mature but admirably of a good weight.
I don't have drinking problems. I even smoked to make sure I had something and wouldn't have to get drunk. I really just like water mostly though or maybe juice sometime for health and tea.
I also don't believe in masturbation so-to-speak yet have an interesting experience with this.
Considered Just Working
I feel too tired from all the strife at school.
I feel bad because I have split interests or talents with music|singing and visual arts, as well as my genuine interest in ballet, theater, and dance. People admit my art and piano are good.
Posting online is my favorite thing to do. In this area, the school, UCF, said we have to not do anything outside the theater major when we do it. I know theater takes dedication. I can only imagine what that means at the community college level here. I just fell in love with the computer. In high school, drama didn't take the same kind of sacrifice. I don't care about science club nor FBLA.
I almost have a problem giving up any of the 4 arts. What I really think is I'm very sick from my lifetime habits in school. Talented Theater was going to be fun, but I found it more interesting to change back to a Catholic school the next year. The teacher recommended my parents to NOCCA, but I only had one year left. People joke about film acting. I think about Audrey Hepburn or other people in movies who came from the theater major. Also, musical theater is a choice. I just know I wanna do one course at a time to start with in the summer or probably fall next year. I do miss teaching as a goal. I wanted a doctorate in music education, which you can go to grad school online for it.
Working would give me money to buy buy buy. I think that sounds honest and genuine. I just have some issues if I am to go in and act with people and feel short. I think I will wait until I feel better. I felt very bad trick-or-treating when I was like a midget fairy.
So, now I have to think about my physical well-being. I could do drama like this. What if I wanna go back to ballet? Not many people get famous with anything involving dance. I know I could solo but can't do many tricks like I'd like. Used to be I could have done this more seriously and not just for fun for me. I know this is something else I have to build on. Either way I greatly appreciate the arts.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Fall 2011
Gym
I like to work out on my own, too, so I can still go to the gym with my dad if I do theater. I'm good at staying awake, as well.
I see no reason for me to do ballet like that. It is easy for me to go back, but I am really just excited about theater and need to do what I really want. I hope I can still have these other things in my life that I like so much. I'm bred more for doing something bigger than only ballet.
Theater
Ballet
So, I wanna do ballet because I know it helps with anything in life putting you in shape. It's just true. So what it is is I take ballet at the community college and at the ballet school the adult classes. The community college can be one night a week.
I still feel a little like theater, but think about Audrey Hepburn having done ballet. I like acting in general, just don't know what's more worth it. I would miss majoring in something in the real world. The gym is getting me in shape, too. It's just that it's not like I have friends in theater these days. I think I could become a very good actor or dancer. I feel safer in ballet so I don't get jealous of new talent. I will go by that plan a few nights a week. If I feel like I can do theater and still feel okay then I'd do it, but ballet is such a basic thing, like more than anything for girls to do ballet. I do miss high school and majoring in arts education.
Theater Versus Dance
http://www.seminolestate.edu/arts/theatre/the-atre.php
Theater seems like it'd be good and safer to do. It would help my with dance if I change my mind after a semester. I miss theater and was considering it secondary to music. The thing is I also took ballet then. Now I want to pick one thing and am not sure which. I am thinking theater though I prefer not to have to read thru plays and also prefer not to I dunno. I am thinking that ballet is more talent based and will do that. So what I do is take ballet once a week at the other community theater and the rest of the times I take adult classes at Orlando Ballet. Absence is another issue, but now I always feel like getting out. Dance is just so magical. I also heard that theater is a high school thing. It's too serious any other way. I just don't know which one I like better. I'm in better shape, so the classes might be more pleasant for ballet. I need work on ballet so think I will just do ballet. I do miss high school theater. I am not sure. I could have done theater if I gave up piano, but now high school is over and so is cheerleading. So, now my one thing will be ballet. I am resting up to get better and feel like going out more now. I just study Tim Burton movies now, too. There is some chance of me doing theater, though, since I also wanna be an actress. It seems if you wanna be a film actor that you should have other options. Also theater acting isn't film acting. I did it all thru high school so-to-speak. It was good though could have been a lot better.
Halloween
I had a good Halloween this year. Halloween is always good.
The best part was a Haunted Mansion where you go in the front porch covered in black and stuff and then this statue reaches out and gives you a bowl of candy. Then I go outside and the statue there like says boo or comes out to get me. I said ahh! I was trying to make for an escape for whatever was happening.
It was cute the ones in a bag, too. It seems like I mostly got some good chocolate, like Twix and a little 1 inch Milky Way in the bag with some other of chocolate.
I lost weight upon going to Halloween in my costume, so that made me happy, that I'm really seriously losing weight. My dad told me to eat all the candy slowly over time.
Well, my weight went back up to 150|151. I placed the candy outside my room in the dining area. I also just had a big bowl of cheddar pasta shells.
I was considering wearing this same costume next year, like usual. Or, I could get something scary in advance. Some of it was sold out, and I had money issues. I'm glad my credit card is working again. I used it to get Planet of the Apes again to study Tim Burton, the director of The Nightmare Before Christmas and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Also, can you believe they made a $500 music box of the music by Danny Elfman in his movies? I used to have the Nightmare Before Christmas music box but never got it to work. I wish I never spent my money. I'm glad getting the DVDs back to study at some leisure. I really use these. I get $50 twice a month, and the DVDs are pretty cheap.
So, I just hope my weight stays down. I see my mom got some of those foam containers with food, 3, probably one each my dad, mom, and I. My brother stays in the dorm even though we live here. That's like me 45 minutes away. I had some problems there when they told me not to be in Music Education. I was thinking of switching anyway. I just wish I could have gotten a degree because I'm 24 now. I'm just happy I have my computer to post on the internet and privately in my room. My dad got me a good one since I'm always on it. Have you ever heard of acer? I just realized that's the kind my parents got. My keyboards stopped working, too. The last one water spilled and it even makes the mouse stop working. My dad said this was a really good computer, like he really liked it. I almost wanted to get the Apple, but they got me this in the mail instead. I was gonna get it, but I wasn't sure at first.
So, I have to wash my costume and put it away in a box or up in my closet for now back in my old room. Now, I am in the garage. I wonder what else I could wear the costume for, too. It's fun to dress up. I could use it to take pictures of myself. I wanted to set up my garage for that. I better start cleaning and putting out the small shelves. I also have a mini table and bar stool to eat on. I have a DVD shelf and a bookshelf that's not big horizontally.
Before, I was Elizabeth Swann in the Oriental looking outfit, and before that a glo skeleton but didn't go trick or treating or don't remember it then. My parents or dad said they saved the Pirates of the Caribbean Oriental one, but I guess I don't see it. I tried to get rid of it, but my dad said he thought they saved it. I was just trying to make more room at the time. I'm glad I already ordered Planet of the Apes. It was only $7.99. Yet, I couldn't get 2 at this time.
My dad said how good my computer is, so I guess that's why I have Acer. It annoys me though it sounds like, "Asian." I hate anything that's not European racially other than to enjoy the benefits and beat. From the library I just got some music from islands and Mid East and Celtic 3 CDs that go together. I gave up on reading Shakespeare and am not sure maybe I should just go ahead and take dance instead of theater. Or, I could take theater before it's too late I think. I'm not sure because I aspire to dance. I really like posting on the computer. I could just take General Studies, as well.
So, we watched Hereafter the day before Halloween, my dad and I. He though Paranormal Activity 2 was too scary, so we didn't see it.
I think I will take dance at Valencia. I'm not sure about the theater. Part of it is I think it will get me in shape and don't think I can do both at the same time. My other plan was just to take ballet though. Then I would take ballet somewhere else when they do modern dance or when I can. My dad used to pay for it, so maybe he still can. Actually I get in shape more from the gym, so maybe I will just do theater, then. Dance is easy and for if you're very comfortable and in good shape. Okay, now I'm excited about theater. I dunno though.
So today is a holy day and so is tomorrow. We don't go to church because my mom works on Sundays. I stopped going before because I felt sick. Now I am a lot better and could go out if I wanted, though I am still taking care of my blackheads, though they had been getting better. I think I will put on a pore strip now. Okay, I did.
I just need to clean up my room soon and then things'll be good. I had a good Halloween. I am so happy I can see the difference before in the picture and on Halloween in the new picture.
Also in January my dad said I am going to see a skin doctor for my blackheads. Maybe they can do laser work. Usually, these strips work well. I was so happy how I got in shape from the gym, though.
Another thing to do is to also do Jazz and Tap or just to go to Orlando Ballet at nights. I wonder if my dad and I will make money from the music. Already I was called and given some gift money, like food stamps. So, I can use the money for more ballet, as well. I think I will just take ballet or do theater, though it seems ballet is more important. I was thinking of being a theater teacher, but now I wanna do ballet. I wish I could still do both, but I can't. I dunno, though. I can get famous either way and theater is a lot of fun usually.
http://www.seminolestate.edu/arts/theatre/the-atre.php
Maybe I can just skip general studies for now. That is my plan. I wonder if I should start with one course. That's what I think.
Okay, I'm gonna go start cleaning up my hair dye mess.
I don't want it to be because I am mixed.
I don't want things to happen because I have Native American or something. I don't like that when others get their way and assume I'm special just to make me feel weird, when they sit on their bums and have time to ruin my life. I blame them too and think it was a bad example.
I do feel awkward. I just find I am not my parents and less like I would be indian. It's always that way. Plus, I don't have the paper to find exactly what could be up. It burned in the building's fire a long time ago. Like, what if it was something else? In China in the center there are tribes with blonde hair and blue eyes I used to have saved or could find on Wiki. It's like indians living in China like they do in the rest of Asia and parts of Europe. They may be considered as nomads.
I sorta don't believe I have indian because it's way less than 1%, which is what's most popular.
Blast for the Past
All I want back is the past all the time.
It would have been killer cool to do my hair differently.
I think though my biggest problem was not blackheads but people knowing I was half Chinese(-Indonesian.) They seemed interested in me like anyone else otherwise. Even in kindergarten they asked so I came home and asked. I remember how happy I was I wasn't Japanese because I hear it's not as Asian though it's in the far east, Japan and Korea. China rounds up so that the Filipins are the south far east. Taiwan is about it. Vietnam is just like Chinese, though they also come from a less rocky terrain. I just know that because Chinese are some so smart and beautiful and European looking that the kids could turn out to be as desirable as an islander if one parent is European I just think.
I've felt uncomfortable because I know that my mom is a champion in her world and I am nobody. I used to be somebody for all the hard things I did growing up keeping in schedule, though the homework went quickly when I was active physically. Having piano made me feel special. My other regret is not getting on the internet just like this when it was getting out as we were moving to Greater New Orleans.
I think I could be a good cheerleader. I lost a lot of weight looking at my Halloween costume shots and comparing the one before and after. I got some 3 flavor ice cream because I told my dad I wanted real ice cream. I guess next time I'll get the sandwiches. We have frozen yogurt too to use for smoothies. I blend the 3 flavor ice cream for a shake.
I can round up to terms.
Well, I should have used a pore strip sooner, period. I think as early as possible I should have asked for something or rinsed my face at least more. I know I could have fixed it in 4th grade though. It seemed a little early still. Like, by the end when I was 10.
I wouldn't want to be on the dance team if I have that many problems. I did wanna do the plays for drama and when I was in Talented Theater just handed out programs and helped backstage. It's about being able to deliver. I went to some smaller schools so ended up performing there. I felt I had a well seasoned personality by that time and can't help to this day the damaged cells in my body from taking on too much.
A Life Full of Regrets
I lost my next chance when I decided not to do it in 6th grade. We moved, and there cheerleading began in 7th grade. I made my next big mistake then. Then not actually going to the dance team tryouts for high school. I made flag team, but this friend didn't make it too who was older and things were never the same at that school after the beginning. I would had been doing this 2nd year, flag team, if I stayed. It's just too much if there's no one there to watch me on Fridays and look for me. Dance and cheer are no easier. I wish now I just wanted to have fun.
I may look forward to doing theater as a major at a community college, but dance just isn't the same. I know it will be okay with me because I'm from Florida. Looking at teams today, I think I have to make it if I have nothing big wrong.
My priority is to get better so I feel more like I did before I moved to the New Orleans area. I still wish I did what I still wish I did. I know I can make it on all these teams. I feel somewhat blessed to have experience with baton. I was Twirler of the Year my 2nd year and was leading younger kids my 2nd year.
Like I can catch those moments where I'm more awake and ready to figure things out. My safe bet is to take one theater course, Acting I, at a community college. I could go to the other one and take dance, though, dance and modern. I have to wait until the beginning of the 2010-2011 year. So my big debate is just on if I should do theater or dance because I'm not starting with both.