Sorry, I thought it was okay to use a word that is lodged in my head as cool and usable. I thought it in my head. As to what it was for, I was feeling very bad and that I could not trust anyone. I still feel somewhat alone ultimately, but that's okay. I did not mean it in a bad way. I guess I just had exercised poor judgement. It might seem odd, but it's true. I don't know what to say about it, exactly. No, I didn't post it online nor say it. I think I might, but at that point I probably would exercise more natural restraint. You can be upset at me and avoid me and forget about me, but I'm guessing you won't totally, at least not right now.