Disclaimer: I am just trying to address the problems in my life basically but wish I could do it without placing blame on others. I discluded names. :)
Just because I thought cursing was okay and no one said not to, I cursed at the noises in my room that someone put there with little microphones.. I stopped when I found people didn't like it. It seems because of this everything in my life is going. For example, all my relatives and in-laws have been hypnotized by the people doing this to me to be mean or stand-off-ish, like they never knew me. I saw some of them for the 1st time in over 10 years. I find this hysterically catastrophic.
I had a thing about not telling I could not finish all the reading in high school, but I figured it was time to put the cards on the table and not everyone is taunting me for "telling." I find this outlandish, as well.
People are picking on me right and left for anything. Someone wanted to imagine having babies just to outride me and probably for the silly reasons I mentioned afore. I just felt a joke about it in my head, and it became a party against me. Pay attention to that it was for that same reason and they were being silly. I was in my bathroom today, and I heard noises of "pretty baby" over and over in a sorta hidden sound. It made me feel that I had to let nothing be okay for me but for their made up baby.
My mom came in my room, and I talked and she put her hand on the doorknob in a way that didn't make me feel good. I still feel the pang, and I think it's still because of me cursing about the noises in my room. See, they keep telling me what I can and can't say. It's my blog. It's my right to complain about illegal activity. Now, "I'm paying for it." How tacky is that? I didn't say who did it, but I should. I should be honest to get this whole mess fixed, but nothing seems to happen because of what I say in my blog to that point in success.
Last night, I was feeling betrayed by extremely attractive people who made it their business to tell me they liked me in some way. It's like I did something, like every little thing was bad- -and get this, there's someone who probably this is for today telling me I can't be all that like I did something. This person also keeps at me and wants everyone else to have what I had because of something I did, probably spamming my friends and family who would not respond to my e-mails, somewhat strangely, now. I thought we had something new going. It's like they tricked me into talking to them. They came to visit, some of them.
I have a right to fight about my life. I want to have a list of things I can easily show Dr. Phil and also my therapist. I discluded names for now, so be thankful.
The people experimenting on me are making little noises or flashing different levels of internet connectivity in a way that sends forth a message somehow or seems like an insult of some kind that comes to me. Do you know what this is?
So, to introduce these new kinds of posts, I'm putting them on my blog so no one checks 2 blogs, and I'm resorting to labeling it to look it up.
I went to go post this, and they are already beginning to act threateningly. If you feel that way, I don't see why you do it. You are just hypnotized.
I know what I say is not merely enough of what's happened in my past. They have to resort to alluding to disgusting thoughts to associate with possible future children and other things like that.
I can see where I should put up with it, but there's more than that. People are all so racist outside to me, I can tell. At home, it's constant secret attacking me, more and more of those secret messages in behavior, attitude, and the kind of sounds they make around the house. I could move out, was gonna move to Miami as a secretary, but still it seems unfair and that I'd still be bothered with the secret messages from little noises from people experimenting on me. Anyone who gets close to me disagrees with me, too. It's just random people on the street I meet that don't always do this.
I'm not trying to attack anyone, just address the problems in my life since I wanna post it to Dr. Phil and why do I even have to see a therapist .. counselors generally don't fix my problems.