Tuesday, October 18, 2016
In the Movie
Why do they put people like that in movies without a leader like me? I can feel their jealousy that I don't wanna hurt Christina Barrett.
Issue
I can't believe how they have people talk to me..like I'm nothing.
You know, I don't believe the fact that Ellen DeGeneres promoted that only people with certain kinds of parents or races or born whenever or who doesn't trump her .. only people who "aren't in her way" are okay and to say only some generations are okay. That's why she "has" to be mean.
You know, I don't believe the fact that Ellen DeGeneres promoted that only people with certain kinds of parents or races or born whenever or who doesn't trump her .. only people who "aren't in her way" are okay and to say only some generations are okay. That's why she "has" to be mean.
..and we have something else in common
We don't seem to have had the opportunity to learn much dancing.
All the Drama is to Torture Me
It seems like I got the message someone supposedly very popular I like accepts other people over me even if they don't fit some requirement. I understand if you wanna make them feel better, but I'm not gonna be the only one compared to them as worse. That's so crazy!
Oddity
If I did something odd but nice at church, it would matter cuz "we have an attractive pastor." If I were at another church, it'd be good for God.
The Beggar Woman in Beauty and the Beast
I'm really a fairy. Do my aunts really like to talk a lot? I've heard stories.
Disclaimer: No, I did not turn anyone into a beast.
Disclaimer: No, I did not turn anyone into a beast.
Why Worry
Why worry about things socially to be mean to people if there are things out there to worry about we shouldn't have to worry about too much like minimum wage jobs being offered to people like they are?
Onto Me
People keep following my every move. How gay!
Like, I woke up and didn't use the bathroom but feel okay here now and jotted down some issues. I bet they would remind me of things like this, maybe just cuz I said it here. Like, they'd make some situation to remind me of some thing I did they observed and thought could be improved.
Like, I woke up and didn't use the bathroom but feel okay here now and jotted down some issues. I bet they would remind me of things like this, maybe just cuz I said it here. Like, they'd make some situation to remind me of some thing I did they observed and thought could be improved.
Too Many Texts?
Supposedly, me posting on my cell is a waste of other people's time, when they post at certain times to annoy me. It's in group posts. Maybe, I should make another group. It was nice portraits, too.
What It Was
If I am upset even when in my room alone and hit something, like my sofa or using a punching bag, they say I can't have something if it is something important that I think about that comes up then. It's like they can't leave me alone.
In my long post yesterday..
..I said I was just wondering about something, tho if it helps to understand I was wondering if I was getting in trouble. I'm not sure why people are in my life suddenly like it's their business, the ones being mean telling me I did something wrong. It's like they either want to affect a relationship, negatively, or are already involved with me in mine for some reason manipulating it in ways that don't make sense. Also, for some reason, if I say something about things like this, they are getting more uptight about if it's not very very short. Well, here I was clarifying what people are thinking at me. No offense to anyone!
Oh, wow, "that's it!"
It feels like it's 2nd nature to other people that I'm no good cuz I cursed about hurtful, illegal noises Ellen DeGneeres put in my room. Must I become a recluse in some way?
Monday, October 17, 2016
Not as Worried
I know the other people out there like me are having their own good time in private, and that's many and many many in Europe!
Watching TV..
..Annie is on from 2014.
Germans may not be as light as the Irish, but they still have to come out and say something, no hard feelings. He he, isn't that funny? They try to be withheld I think as a big thing. I wonder what would happen if they opened up, if that is possible.
Germans and English are pretty popular countries, and they are respectful to people like blacks.
Germans may not be as light as the Irish, but they still have to come out and say something, no hard feelings. He he, isn't that funny? They try to be withheld I think as a big thing. I wonder what would happen if they opened up, if that is possible.
Germans and English are pretty popular countries, and they are respectful to people like blacks.
I'm a little wary.
I wanna look at pictures online of brunette girls and don't wanna end up masturbating!
I think the world was just attacked.
I fell on top of my head in gymnastics on the hard surface next to the foam pit at age 8. What if they manipulated me to do that? It probably gave me glasses at 9 and made me stop growing at 11.
I can't trust..
..people from Europe just because they know how to be nice and happy without messing up.
I know..
..they are pressuring anyone who is cool in a modern way to ruin it for them if they admit it out in the open, seems like even is with it with good people who would make others feel good.
TV
So, who am I closer to, the English, the Irish/Scottish, .. Germany?
Remember, the US is supposedly said to be much like the Irish/Scottish, so chose wisely!!
The Scandinavians have their own settlement here, and the Amish are primarily Swiss and I think maybe also German.
Remember, the US is supposedly said to be much like the Irish/Scottish, so chose wisely!!
The Scandinavians have their own settlement here, and the Amish are primarily Swiss and I think maybe also German.
Super Supper!
I have my supper in 20 minutes.
The cake I made last week with 2 cans of frosting! Vanilla on vanilla.
The cake I made last week with 2 cans of frosting! Vanilla on vanilla.
You cannot hypnotize me.
Because if something is in front of my eyes, I have to see it. If a sound is made I have to hear it.
No friends, then? Problematic relationships?
Are all the people I supposedly know other than on like IMDb possibly waiting to "dump" me or have a strange, sorta empty relationship / fattening me up for "the kill?" I don't like that the seemingly negative situation is "because of my dad, etc.."
Just ask someone who everyone worships, and they will say no one has to talk to me cuz I'm 1/2 Chinese/Indonesian. If that applies to me, that applies to everyone. I'm not really different like that and have needs and ways of being.
I'm sick of my dad acting like he's my main relationship. I'm not supposed to be close to him, anymore. Why would someone I trust tell me to be with him like that?
Disclaimer: I'm not hinting pointing fingers at anyone or anything in a wrong/negative way. I just noticed a pattern. No one has to do anything for me. I don't have to do anything, neither. I realize some people do, but I just noticed some people are like the enemy. I feel I have to think for myself and not listen to all the people trying to scar me emotionally. I think I just don't like other people doing weird things to off center my relationship, no offense to anyone, like I said, just feeling this way about a lotta things! No one is truthful to me and I have to also hurt myself, tho, or then I guess you'd think partly, cuz my dad says? That makes no sense. People forget how the world is supposed to work and think other people don't matter, no matter who they are.
You know what, I don't even care about all the people out there being mean to me. Why would it affect someone I have a relationship with? Maybe, you pretend I am not really cool.
This kinda sucks. I don't want to be in trouble for no reason every day. How would you like to have the bad parts of my life you put there?
No one had better take this the wrong way and affect my relationships!
Disclaimer: I'm not talking at anyone in a bad way who is nice. Why would anyone think that?
This sucks so much. I bet it's that worthlessness of the Baby Boom era, people lying to me, I mean like that my dad primarily does. Why should I care about anyone in the end? I need to get in before the shitstorm. I don't wanna be made fun of for no reason for posting these things. I just have to explain myself for what people misunderstand. My point is that I wonder why my life is so miserable and why people blame me for things and if this will ever stop in my life, anyway. I can already see people I know caring the least that I will die someday. Why should I care about them, not suggesting anything bad tho? I do care essentially, but I can't agree with their ways and hatred for me. I feel people have knocked me down as a person, people spreading rumors about me cuz "Johnny Depp said this" or "Ellen DeGeneres said that."
You know, I know they already are doing something because I posted this. They won't listen that it's not what they make it out to be.
You know, people are giving me mixed messages, that one thing is true and then it isn't, and I was already wary of the nature of what they said.
Do people pretend writing a lot means nothing, what you can do, but just because I do it? Who cares what others think! They're just racists! Maybe, I am on top. I don't want to lose friends, tho! How would you like that? to be blamed for something and then have everyone abandon you socially in some way that matters now?
I see this is about more than I thought originally. I started with an interesting topic.
Hm, the blood in my brain is getting low. Thanks, Tweeters.
I thought things were okay, but then I just noticed the *gestalt of it all.
You know, I think the people experimenting on me are very evil because they said they prevented me from seeing someone.. How is it okay that they do that? They are all alone. Why are they letting my dad treat me like this? My dad doesn't care about if I am alive. Now, that is a stupid thing if it is really how it is. Nothing else to be said about that, it's no. Still do it?
Nothing bad came of what someone I like did! I hope I didn't fail in my attempts/intent, tho. Why do people disrespect me?
So, this was just me starting talking about something that's kinda big on my mind, and I posted about other things within the same post, partially so I don't post too many times and have to fill out codes in the end maybe. "No need to be alarmed." I'm sorry if I didn't know I did anything wrong. I just feel it's an important topic and other people are involved. So, about people not really out for what's best for me, I'm wondering if they just want to hurt me in the end like it doesn't matter, probably my dad's order. He should not be connected to me like this.. I let him be, and he chases after me. He ruins my chances at having a relationship because people don't want me to feel bad. That's too bad because I do! I guess the reason is not good, like I said. He always makes something up mean to me to act like he has some idea against me and he can rehash it quickly.
Hey, do you think people are stupid and changed their minds? They were excited about conquering other cultures and being able to live among them. If they were wrong, they suck and it's not my fault cuz if people all think that is stupid, "so what who cares about God if the Nazis didn't" "I wanna be a Nazi.." Yesterday, I decided I agreed with the Nazis cuz there are so many nice Germans here in America, but it was just a misunderstanding cuz I don't think they wanted to have to do that even. What about the war with England? Big whoop, huh? It does not mean they can do it.
*gestalt - an organized whole that is perceived as more than the sum of its parts. (link)
Just ask someone who everyone worships, and they will say no one has to talk to me cuz I'm 1/2 Chinese/Indonesian. If that applies to me, that applies to everyone. I'm not really different like that and have needs and ways of being.
I'm sick of my dad acting like he's my main relationship. I'm not supposed to be close to him, anymore. Why would someone I trust tell me to be with him like that?
Disclaimer: I'm not hinting pointing fingers at anyone or anything in a wrong/negative way. I just noticed a pattern. No one has to do anything for me. I don't have to do anything, neither. I realize some people do, but I just noticed some people are like the enemy. I feel I have to think for myself and not listen to all the people trying to scar me emotionally. I think I just don't like other people doing weird things to off center my relationship, no offense to anyone, like I said, just feeling this way about a lotta things! No one is truthful to me and I have to also hurt myself, tho, or then I guess you'd think partly, cuz my dad says? That makes no sense. People forget how the world is supposed to work and think other people don't matter, no matter who they are.
You know what, I don't even care about all the people out there being mean to me. Why would it affect someone I have a relationship with? Maybe, you pretend I am not really cool.
This kinda sucks. I don't want to be in trouble for no reason every day. How would you like to have the bad parts of my life you put there?
No one had better take this the wrong way and affect my relationships!
Disclaimer: I'm not talking at anyone in a bad way who is nice. Why would anyone think that?
This sucks so much. I bet it's that worthlessness of the Baby Boom era, people lying to me, I mean like that my dad primarily does. Why should I care about anyone in the end? I need to get in before the shitstorm. I don't wanna be made fun of for no reason for posting these things. I just have to explain myself for what people misunderstand. My point is that I wonder why my life is so miserable and why people blame me for things and if this will ever stop in my life, anyway. I can already see people I know caring the least that I will die someday. Why should I care about them, not suggesting anything bad tho? I do care essentially, but I can't agree with their ways and hatred for me. I feel people have knocked me down as a person, people spreading rumors about me cuz "Johnny Depp said this" or "Ellen DeGeneres said that."
You know, I know they already are doing something because I posted this. They won't listen that it's not what they make it out to be.
You know, people are giving me mixed messages, that one thing is true and then it isn't, and I was already wary of the nature of what they said.
Do people pretend writing a lot means nothing, what you can do, but just because I do it? Who cares what others think! They're just racists! Maybe, I am on top. I don't want to lose friends, tho! How would you like that? to be blamed for something and then have everyone abandon you socially in some way that matters now?
I see this is about more than I thought originally. I started with an interesting topic.
Hm, the blood in my brain is getting low. Thanks, Tweeters.
I thought things were okay, but then I just noticed the *gestalt of it all.
You know, I think the people experimenting on me are very evil because they said they prevented me from seeing someone.. How is it okay that they do that? They are all alone. Why are they letting my dad treat me like this? My dad doesn't care about if I am alive. Now, that is a stupid thing if it is really how it is. Nothing else to be said about that, it's no. Still do it?
Nothing bad came of what someone I like did! I hope I didn't fail in my attempts/intent, tho. Why do people disrespect me?
So, this was just me starting talking about something that's kinda big on my mind, and I posted about other things within the same post, partially so I don't post too many times and have to fill out codes in the end maybe. "No need to be alarmed." I'm sorry if I didn't know I did anything wrong. I just feel it's an important topic and other people are involved. So, about people not really out for what's best for me, I'm wondering if they just want to hurt me in the end like it doesn't matter, probably my dad's order. He should not be connected to me like this.. I let him be, and he chases after me. He ruins my chances at having a relationship because people don't want me to feel bad. That's too bad because I do! I guess the reason is not good, like I said. He always makes something up mean to me to act like he has some idea against me and he can rehash it quickly.
Hey, do you think people are stupid and changed their minds? They were excited about conquering other cultures and being able to live among them. If they were wrong, they suck and it's not my fault cuz if people all think that is stupid, "so what who cares about God if the Nazis didn't" "I wanna be a Nazi.." Yesterday, I decided I agreed with the Nazis cuz there are so many nice Germans here in America, but it was just a misunderstanding cuz I don't think they wanted to have to do that even. What about the war with England? Big whoop, huh? It does not mean they can do it.
*gestalt - an organized whole that is perceived as more than the sum of its parts. (link)
Not Fair! Right?
I know why kids were so bad in later Generation X.. because there was no reason to be so polite for.
Generation YZ kids are crazy polite like they have something to live for.
That's why you got kids playing around with the idea of death like it's all that.
Generation YZ kids are crazy polite like they have something to live for.
That's why you got kids playing around with the idea of death like it's all that.
It's scary to think..
..that older adults are supposed to be tending to their offspring generation, but they're not doing it.
Did you know..
..the onset of masturbation can take an onset early on, such as during one's "terrible 2's?" For me, it happened at age 6/7, I think. I went thru puberty at 10. People with early puberty tend to be short.
Sunday, October 16, 2016
Invitation
Why would someone from England think if they are jealous of Germans that someone part German like me should go to their side in learning about themselves with ancestry in Europe?
I wouldn't mind being split interested in some way, but it kinda seems like it'd be a debate party.
It's funny people I know are interested in my life all of a sudden I've been popular and found people I like that people are suddenly being suggestive about, tho I don't mind their getting attention even if I look up to them and it seems it wastes them away, like maybe people think they must be fun to do that all of a sudden. I think it was just to temporarily appease the crowd, like they didn't make it. I mean, hey, did you forget about me? You don't have to tell me what to do like that. If you are young and confused, I do not mean it should have changed to be that way. It didn't have to happen to these people.
Getting in There
Did you know they stimulate Late Boomers saying they need it cuz they are older, but they also supposedly have stimulated people born around 1997/1998 with Late Boom parents, tho they are younger.
What's it to you to go on like it doesn't matter for anyone else?
Ellen DeGeneres has a picture of her on Twitter I know with red hearts for eyes. I think she is trying to stimulate certain people like that but people who I look up to - duh, it's to hurt me because I cursed about the hurtful, illegal noises she put in my room a long time and other things of supposedly different or lesser importance/significance in these big things.
Like, omigosh, I have scratches on my leg! It's in the form of the design on the new carpets of the church and a new hymnal. They sting when I rub my fingers across.
What's it to you to go on like it doesn't matter for anyone else?
Ellen DeGeneres has a picture of her on Twitter I know with red hearts for eyes. I think she is trying to stimulate certain people like that but people who I look up to - duh, it's to hurt me because I cursed about the hurtful, illegal noises she put in my room a long time and other things of supposedly different or lesser importance/significance in these big things.
Like, omigosh, I have scratches on my leg! It's in the form of the design on the new carpets of the church and a new hymnal. They sting when I rub my fingers across.
Saturday, October 15, 2016
Leaving Home Sometimes-
I said my dad was weird to me, when I wanna talk sometimes tho, he gets mad to see me, acts like he wants to use me sexually and others want me to not mingle with them and instead just talk to him or something, how suggestive and inappropriate.
Stupid People of Florida
Not really.. but they need to "do something" to make a statement if they feel ticked.
Competing Tool
You have to be all German shit to be a shit to these co-ethnic families.
However, I don't mean German is shit. I'm just being funny. It's true, tho, I'm shit to them, maybe. I feel bad. I hope this is not true. They are probably shittier than me, tho. Whoops. "I digress."
However, I don't mean German is shit. I'm just being funny. It's true, tho, I'm shit to them, maybe. I feel bad. I hope this is not true. They are probably shittier than me, tho. Whoops. "I digress."
Out of Place and Inappropriate
the English
Get your buckin' teeth outta my fuckin' beeswax.
They light up and glow at inappropriate times, like a coping mechanism. AHA!
Get your buckin' teeth outta my fuckin' beeswax.
They light up and glow at inappropriate times, like a coping mechanism. AHA!
Imminent Danger
When I meet people or if I meet people, I feel a sense of foreboding coming from others I know like they want to flip my life around, friends and family.
I'm sorry.
There simply isn't enough to go around, anymore, is there? Or maybe people are waiting for me to be taken out of the game.
Well
I came home and was all dazzled I guess I got shocked with negativity.
I don't like how my life has always been negatively affected.
I thought I was independent of my parents. My dad seems to have stopped treating me the same at 16.
I don't like how my life has always been negatively affected.
I thought I was independent of my parents. My dad seems to have stopped treating me the same at 16.
Friday, October 14, 2016
Why
do some adults think they are of a higher caliber than young people and tease them with the idea that they are some prize of giving attention to others that is not really meant for others, in a fair way, tho sometimes seem to do it unfairly and at the expense of others? Just call it off and put a paper bag over one's head, a figurative, humorous, harmless, and beneficial/good-feeling joke not meant at anyone.. before someone puts that bag there for oneself. Pretty much one might say something like, "I will never give any of you attention," and then one wouldn't be a problem. How bad can a young person feel, do they need and deserve to get intimate a lot? I just kinda feel bad myself about this experiment thing pretending I am in trouble and they're not. (Who knows what else could go into this?)
Disclaimer: I don't mean anything bad at anyone in reality. Sorry if it seems like it. I do have concern for real situations.
Disclaimer: I don't mean anything bad at anyone in reality. Sorry if it seems like it. I do have concern for real situations.
Journal Entry
I wish I could post a video of what happened.
I got to karaoke today.. I couldn't believe it. They said I was the 1st person on the 1st list.
It was great. Another chance will come. Always a learning experience. I bowed to the ground and to the nice black guy I gave the mic back to. A girl said I did really good as I left.
I got to karaoke today.. I couldn't believe it. They said I was the 1st person on the 1st list.
It was great. Another chance will come. Always a learning experience. I bowed to the ground and to the nice black guy I gave the mic back to. A girl said I did really good as I left.
Thursday, October 13, 2016
"In Quiet Joy"
like "Good Christian Men Rejoice"
I played this on organ in college, by Marcel Dupre. I found it all over YouTube, but they all played it too slowly, in my opinion, "like a dirge."
Quotes
Halloween (2007)
"I may have been born, but I wasn't born yesterday."
"It sounds like you're talking about the anti-Christ."
"I may have been born, but I wasn't born yesterday."
"It sounds like you're talking about the anti-Christ."
Question About Right and Wrong
How do you know if something is right or wrong? If you don't know or know what others believe, you could get into trouble.
Church Festival - Karaoke
I think they are canceling it. Some pros were gonna participate I know. They got calls saying people would not be able to do it cuza the hurricane. I had to cancel my violin lesson cuz I didn't have a ride and wanna be fresh to work 3 hours of cotton candy tomorrow.
Not Godly
In Orlando, your roots as a person are lifted.
People think I'm not godly enough because I am human and have needs, wants, and desires. I lost some of my skills and am constantly ratted out here and not allowed to settle like others.
People think I'm not godly enough because I am human and have needs, wants, and desires. I lost some of my skills and am constantly ratted out here and not allowed to settle like others.
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
What's there to figure out?
I figured it out.
They know I strongly disagreed. They didn't do anything.
Last time, I was just hitting my punching bag. We'll see who cares and this time too.
1st time, I was already in the middle of a tantrum on my sofa. Funny the medicine doesn't take care of that. I could lose my life if that were to be true.
In the end, I got a rather empty heart. That shouldn't be so. Go take away the love from the life of everyone who breaks down or punches their pillow and every child that has a tantrum!
They know I strongly disagreed. They didn't do anything.
Last time, I was just hitting my punching bag. We'll see who cares and this time too.
1st time, I was already in the middle of a tantrum on my sofa. Funny the medicine doesn't take care of that. I could lose my life if that were to be true.
In the end, I got a rather empty heart. That shouldn't be so. Go take away the love from the life of everyone who breaks down or punches their pillow and every child that has a tantrum!
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