Are all the people I supposedly know other than on like IMDb possibly waiting to "dump" me or have a strange, sorta empty relationship / fattening me up for "the kill?" I don't like that the seemingly negative situation is "because of my dad, etc.."
Just ask someone who everyone worships, and they will say no one has to talk to me cuz I'm 1/2 Chinese/Indonesian. If that applies to me, that applies to everyone. I'm not really different like that and have needs and ways of being.
I'm sick of my dad acting like he's my main relationship. I'm not supposed to be close to him, anymore. Why would someone I trust tell me to be with him like that?
Disclaimer: I'm not hinting pointing fingers at anyone or anything in a wrong/negative way. I just noticed a pattern. No one has to do anything for me. I don't have to do anything, neither. I realize some people do, but I just noticed some people are like the enemy. I feel I have to think for myself and not listen to all the people trying to scar me emotionally. I think I just don't like other people doing weird things to off center my relationship, no offense to anyone, like I said, just feeling this way about a lotta things! No one is truthful to me and I have to also hurt myself, tho, or then I guess you'd think partly, cuz my dad says? That makes no sense. People forget how the world is supposed to work and think other people don't matter, no matter who they are.
You know what, I don't even care about all the people out there being mean to me. Why would it affect someone I have a relationship with? Maybe, you pretend I am not really cool.
This kinda sucks. I don't want to be in trouble for no reason every day. How would you like to have the bad parts of my life you put there?
No one had better take this the wrong way and affect my relationships!
Disclaimer: I'm not talking at anyone in a bad way who is nice. Why would anyone think that?
This sucks so much. I bet it's that worthlessness of the Baby Boom era, people lying to me, I mean like that my dad primarily does. Why should I care about anyone in the end? I need to get in before the shitstorm. I don't wanna be made fun of for no reason for posting these things. I just have to explain myself for what people misunderstand. My point is that I wonder why my life is so miserable and why people blame me for things and if this will ever stop in my life, anyway. I can already see people I know caring the least that I will die someday. Why should I care about them, not suggesting anything bad tho? I do care essentially, but I can't agree with their ways and hatred for me. I feel people have knocked me down as a person, people spreading rumors about me cuz "Johnny Depp said this" or "Ellen DeGeneres said that."
You know, I know they already are doing something because I posted this. They won't listen that it's not what they make it out to be.
You know, people are giving me mixed messages, that one thing is true and then it isn't, and I was already wary of the nature of what they said.
Do people pretend writing a lot means nothing, what you can do, but just because I do it? Who cares what others think! They're just racists! Maybe, I am on top. I don't want to lose friends, tho! How would you like that? to be blamed for something and then have everyone abandon you socially in some way that matters now?
I see this is about more than I thought originally. I started with an interesting topic.
Hm, the blood in my brain is getting low. Thanks, Tweeters.
I thought things were okay, but then I just noticed the *gestalt of it all.
You know, I think the people experimenting on me are very evil because they said they prevented me from seeing someone.. How is it okay that they do that? They are all alone. Why are they letting my dad treat me like this? My dad doesn't care about if I am alive. Now, that is a stupid thing if it is really how it is. Nothing else to be said about that, it's no. Still do it?
Nothing bad came of what someone I like did! I hope I didn't fail in my attempts/intent, tho. Why do people disrespect me?
So, this was just me starting talking about something that's kinda big on my mind, and I posted about other things within the same post, partially so I don't post too many times and have to fill out codes in the end maybe. "No need to be alarmed." I'm sorry if I didn't know I did anything wrong. I just feel it's an important topic and other people are involved. So, about people not really out for what's best for me, I'm wondering if they just want to hurt me in the end like it doesn't matter, probably my dad's order. He should not be connected to me like this.. I let him be, and he chases after me. He ruins my chances at having a relationship because people don't want me to feel bad. That's too bad because I do! I guess the reason is not good, like I said. He always makes something up mean to me to act like he has some idea against me and he can rehash it quickly.
Hey, do you think people are stupid and changed their minds? They were excited about conquering other cultures and being able to live among them. If they were wrong, they suck and it's not my fault cuz if people all think that is stupid, "so what who cares about God if the Nazis didn't" "I wanna be a Nazi.." Yesterday, I decided I agreed with the Nazis cuz there are so many nice Germans here in America, but it was just a misunderstanding cuz I don't think they wanted to have to do that even. What about the war with England? Big whoop, huh? It does not mean they can do it.
*gestalt - an organized whole that is perceived as more than the sum of its parts. (link)