I hope you find what you're looking for. I think that I'd have to say my initial vision that I can right now conceive is that that is something like me. It's best to get someone intellectually in the mood, thinking the right stuff, who has a background that says yes I'm ready for this now ya'll. I don't think you'll necessarily be able to find like someone of a set image to gawk over, not sure why that would suddenly touch you. Hey I'm just trying to get across a message to see what you're really saying because I don't really get it now nor am sure if I ever would get that. Hey, know anyone from Florida, I mean with like parents from Florida? I don't. I think I've met Californians. I imagine and know my parents have. They sound like hysterical, kind people my mom can connect with. I have a problem with people from the city in Pennsylvania but changed my mind to say okay Pittsburgh might be okay, the biggest city, doesn't have too funny a name, must be the spot. I mean, I really like people from places like New Jersey, Ohio, .. Wisconsin!. I think like San Fransisco. I guess San Diego seems like a good place. Reminds me of places like Chicago. You already knew that in that way? I think the big thing is people with a twang. I'm more about people who feed off of like George Bush. I do believe that Pennsylvania is way down south, and Pittsburgh is like the New Orleans area. New York is the new Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania is indeed a good place for nature but might not have as many mountains. I mean yea, but it's not really as cold, I don't know much else but that like Virginia has greener, nicer mountains. Well, anyway, that's pretty interesting.. Why not get Tim Burton? He's currently that way, for some reason. Maybe, he just wants something to do. He never really seems to be all that dazzling. Hey, why is Tim Burton not on the same track? He's just there to say he's racist to people like me. Why is my life so hard and such a failure? People are so suggestive to me, not sure why they aren't interested. Anyway, hope this was not too long. I liked your writing and what you said. xp I was just interested and wanted to talk with you and Ginny. =}
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Something Funny
So, people are joking about a city I used to live in called Altamonte Springs. Someone here, an adult, seemed to think, “Oh, I don’t know, did you see me on the trampoline?” 3D
Problem
Ellen DeGeneres won’t leave me alone. Her and Tim Burton think they can do something really perverted. Admit they have a problem. They aren’t white.
Nite
I'm pretty loaded, lunky, was tired at the bus-! I have 3-4 hours to sleep. xp I'll be awake. Maybe wrong choice of dress but still. Not sure how it'll go. Already have nail polish on, could at least wear the blazer. It's cold out.
Ate
I had more than ½ of a DiGiorno Rising Crust pizza, pepperoni, and vanilla cake and Breyer's ice cream, nilla. My lunch is all ready, whoops gotta get the lunchbag outta the washer..k
Problems
Not sure what exactly is bugging me, but I may have went to school early and don't have an ironing board so may ask my dad to buy 1. It's locked in my parents's room, tonight. The problem is it might have been done on purpose. So, at 8, when my parents are both gone, probably, I rush and get out the ironing board and ready to board by 9.. Hm, my parents were good, but I think I felt pressure from the outside world for them being good because other people were part Italian and probably other minor European ethnicities. I feel totally rejected, and I mean I can't just like do away with myself. Also, I hit my right side, like a sack, the female thing. I was aware and careful. Also, what if I wanted to take the bus, early! 0:, I probably wouldn't.. Wait, why do you think it's so funny I said, that idea? I don't care about weird families, I mean I care, but I mean it's their predicament. We don't all suffer, I just realized. I've never met any insane adults, but I imagine they wind up with perverted sons, etc.
What I'm Doing
Nails drying, guess I'll watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and prepare food for tomorrow, maybe rehearse some and go nite nite, wake up by 7 A.M., do my hair, makeup ... iron tonight ... need to plan my bottom for my dress and blazer.
Monday, February 4, 2013
What I'm Doing
Just finished my shower-bath, see it's late. Doing my nails, again.. Cut my bangs. Guess I have to pack and do my lunch, might go to bed and plan to wake up early, but my parents will be in the kitchen so maybe not. :/
What do you think?
So, what do you think about Ellen DeGeneres? She seems to be prejudiced about kids being cool. Like, that's been like her sorta game. She has lots of games like that. She seems kinda mad about me just because of the n word thing, and my life's been tested because I got tired of school and other kids didn't.
Carousel of Progress
Ellen DeGeneres, stop pretending to send me stupid messages. I deserve to get what I want. What is wrong with her? Stop wasting my time, you baboon, you useless gamer. You have no sense of humor and you just hurt people. You're not allowed to stop the progress I expect.
Roller Coaster
Why are people from California and Florida like me all acting like life goes on a roller coaster? Maybe, go move somewhere else. That's just something you do for fun, not a way to hurt people! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?
chickins
WHAT IS THIS? STOP ATTACKING ME, ELLEN DEGENERES AND ORLA FALLON. Stop being dummies and tell me what ya'll are up to. You can't control me because of the mistakes that others have made. I think I am fine, finer than you.
You're just chickins.
You're just chickins.
Facebook Post
Oh, I wish I would have called..I forgot what I was going to say- Anyway..Forgot again. Well, with me, she made a connection. I know at 1 point that I thought Anastasia was tacky like a New Yo'ker I guess from somewhere other than SW NY. :/ Anyway. ;D I don't think Amy likes either of us because my dad is from Pennsylvania and not like a major area like Pittsburgh or Allentown.. I think that people are always really sensitive to people who started life in a major area of Florida, so I've always not really explored that since there's nothing in it for me without parents from Florida and with my dad not having any modern culture, so me not having any foot in the culture, though my mom isn't even American. She got her citizenship when I was a kid. It was so funny..ha hahah something you'd have liked to have influenced and I wished I would be esteemed in. I wasn't really bothered, as you can see. Amy is a nice girl, different. Perhaps, people born around 1990 are a bit unattractive, I mean in generality, not to point fingers, must have been a cuter kid than me, I mean. :} She's not exactly intellectual, so I don't think I can connect to her. She sees me as a physically fit person who's awake to the culture. I think she was interested in me, but we were leaving anyway. She didn't really make a move. xp They were connecting better than me, unfortunately, was kinda thinking that Amy would connect with me, you know? Not sure why I got along so well with Anastasia. It was because I think people from NYC are more out in the public and for some reason I can see certain people from the East I know as white? So, Anastasia, was like really mad at Amy and like attacking her the whole time, and Amy pretty much just stood there and was feeling sorry for herself.. They were so close up and connected. I have no idea why Amy cared because I would just probably not have that happen. Ah! :/ Anastasia, yes, she just didn't want Amy to act like she was black. I don't know why she decided to make a scene of it. So, that was why she was acting like that. She shouldn't have attacked. I guess it startled Anastasia, like for fun. I know people from NYC do that stuff.. :/ My life just because more action-packed or high-pitched today. =^ I dunno, I was attacked by Tim Burton all the time and people he knows sexually, not that you just you, anyway well what happened was he is picky about like me sculpting every move like I'm a robot and not very mobile, and that's like all he ever thinks about. The sad fact is I've spent lots of my life "guiltily" doing that and now I'm kinda more prone to my mom's side, which is the natural side, right? My biggest problem I told the therapist (from Miami) and police. I walked around Orlando since like 2005 and I would just feel jolts of torture in public and that's why I just stayed home for like 7 years. So, I mentioned that because I can't like make myself think positive all the time and I still expect to get some attention? My friends stopped talking to me. My ideas are always flipping, I can't just robotically slice myself into the truth. It seems like it would hurt. :I Soo..it might be an issue the kinds of students that you get, not sure why they are in college? I mean, good they want to take your class. Lots of people would, you know. I have no idea how they would care. We just have like a mental block. I'm genuinely interested in everyone, in any culture in the U.S., not 1 for Europe and just the beach. :I Okay, thanks for your concern. I hope that you become more attentive to your students's psychiatric needs and qualms. :I I just was really concerned, not sure who else to tell, maybe will talk to her other teacher but maybe not since I'm not in that class and can't monitor what she would do. Thankss. Oh, yes, her mood switched and she turned against us like she was cool and it was okay since you know she admits that, but I think she is just well-intended. I sorta escaped the social scene when I left Florida, so I haven't really gotten into that. Again, yes, thanks, was just worried, can print it out for my rehearsal journal. I was just worried Amy got hurt, not worried about the New Yo'ker.. Thanks. =}
Facebook Post
from before
Hey, Ginny, we just practiced. I think that the girl from NYC, who is African-American, was really upset the whole time for some reason wanting the girl with the curly very fair hair from California (English) to connect with her, not as separate, so I was worried about her. I found she is a singer and am going to her performance class next week. Maybe, you should get to know this person.. http://cab1986orlfl15.blogspot.com/2013/02/practice.html Sorry, I hope I’m not bothering, just thought I was supposed to let you know, somehow, on your site. Don’t want to take up too much, just thought it was significant, sure you think so, too..
Christina AJ Barrett: Practice
cab1986orlfl15.blogspot.com
Back
Gonna take a shower-bath, blog, possibly sing, and go to bed! Leave early tomorrow. Guess I get my cell phone Wednesday after the therapist appointment? Or Friday. :{
Was full from a full wrap..went to the bathroom a lot. Missed the bus and had to pull the chord without knowing what I was doing but succeeded.
Was full from a full wrap..went to the bathroom a lot. Missed the bus and had to pull the chord without knowing what I was doing but succeeded.
Facebook Post
It also shows a picture of the vase with flowers.
It won’t copy now, guess I’ll copy it later..
Practice
So, the black girl from NYC when she was 13, 10 years ago, pretty much didn’t want the white blonde with very fair, curly hair, with an English origin family, to like not connect with her because of race. Then, the Cali girl treated us like we weren’t from Florida nor Cali. I don’t have some stupid culture test. Anyway, so, you black girl were like yelling in her face the entire script! Too bad she has no one to turn to. :’{ I’m going to her voice performance class next week I think. Help! :0
Bye 4 Now
So, I'll meet the girls, and then I'll go to the library to print out a map, probably post here, who knows what. Want to get a new cell phone tonight.
How Things Are Swingin
I had to recall, again. I got the bus route down, no cell, could ask my parents to schedule a trip but don't think they have time, sounds like the bus comes on the hour by the hour.
The Plan -:{
calling again
might walk to the bus, but I don't have a cell phone so not sure if I should or not, could ask the bus driver for help, know the area
so, it'll take 3 hours?
it keeps saying 10 calls ahead - this is so worthless, I have to reserve 2 hours in advance and get there by 2 so leave by 12:30 P.M., so a little more than an hour, 9 calls ahead
might walk to the bus, but I don't have a cell phone so not sure if I should or not, could ask the bus driver for help, know the area
so, it'll take 3 hours?
it keeps saying 10 calls ahead - this is so worthless, I have to reserve 2 hours in advance and get there by 2 so leave by 12:30 P.M., so a little more than an hour, 9 calls ahead
Stop
They stopped telling me how many people are ahead. Might call back. Checking bus service. Will probably have to leave soon. }=
The Reason ... I Wake up Every Day
The reason I didn't like my cousin was because she got all the attention and acted like she was white and I wasn't, that she was whiter and I wasn't that white.
Waiting and Hoping for * to Appear
I'm waiting for the pick-up line '8|.
14 calls ahead for like 5 minutes
10 calls ahead for like 3-4 minutes
9 calls ahead *rattle*
2 hours in advance
14 calls ahead for like 5 minutes
10 calls ahead for like 3-4 minutes
9 calls ahead *rattle*
2 hours in advance
Ate
2 cracker sticks with dip
crackers with spread (Cream Cheese & Chives)
leftover hot dog - Oscar Meyer Weiner bun length my dad got beef franks with wheat bun and Heinz ketchup, like ¾+ hot dog
Chef Boyardee canned macaroni & cheese
1¼ wheat bagels with crunchy Peter Pan peanut butter and grape jelly with no fruit
crackers with spread (Cream Cheese & Chives)
leftover hot dog - Oscar Meyer Weiner bun length my dad got beef franks with wheat bun and Heinz ketchup, like ¾+ hot dog
Chef Boyardee canned macaroni & cheese
1¼ wheat bagels with crunchy Peter Pan peanut butter and grape jelly with no fruit
Wonder Wonder Wonder
So, my dad won't take me to school in the morning? My mom "won't?" I just didn't think to call because I was so tired. I hope the bus works. I did my notes and didn't get an e-mail, so, it doesn't really matter. If I did get an e-mail, I don't know what I'd say, ask for a lift? I think I can do the bus and hope I can do it in the future. It is a nice bus on the outside, and I mean I just feel funny as a disability person. I just want to get out of this. I feel bad about the financial aid.
Oh be kind to your fine feathered friends
Why would Ellen DeGeneres think I am not like my mom in a good way? Just get the point. What the fuck do you want?
Sicko
That's so sick that someone like Ellen DeGeneres would follow Tim Burton and think I need extra rules when people have been like killing me saying I'm too good and not like approaching me, while I sit there and think I'm cutesy and gleaming alone, not unattractive, not inhuman, not unintelligent. Isn't this an old issue?
Just what makes that little old ant...
My mom thinks the disability etc. or whatever services will still be open now, demanding here in Orlando, though I think not. Who knows if they have something on the way, though, unsure of this, really, though I don't really think so.
WAH
My parents can't take me to school to practice, so I have to go by bus. I've never been on the buses here. My lunch is packed, probably will get a diet shake. Might take 1½-2 hours. Probably 2 or 3 stops.
Nanny ♫
Why does my mom act like I did things I didn't do? People just act like I'm not white. That's kinda sick. It just seems like she's not European. Why is she telling me all these sick ways I'm like my dad or like my dad isn't strong or he's too fat? I did gymnastics and I wasn't lazy. My dad is a good guy and did some neat stuff, photography and rhythm guitar?? What's so funny about rhythm guitar?? What does that mean about photography? She acts like I react the wrong way, but that doesn't mean I'm bad. It just feels like I belong in a Penn state asylum for not seeming detailed and alive. I talked to my grandma, and my face was not as detailed after I got contacts. Ellen DeGeneres acted nasty about me thinking it was cool I posted something of this nature online because she's not from a farm family partly, maybe. She thought she'd get away with it and will deny this fact. I am not sure what really happened, for sure, though.. I don't need someone with a problem to monitor me, like my friend from Saint Augustine. She's a brat and bully. What's so good about her? She wastes my time when I see her and doesn't comment. She shoved me off on Facebook like I was a loser. She made a racistly influenced remark on MySpace.
HUN GRY
HUN GRY
Pulling @
Why is everyone being mean to Frankie but acting like he's overly sensitive? I mean what I say. They're being mean and making it hard for everyone else. Órla Karron Fallon is the major public force in the universe, an Irish gal with a (Norman) French last name, real French, from Normandy. We had to check her Twitter and Facebook. Also, things seem to have come up, at the time, it so happened. Before, she was pregnant, not sure how much of that quality time had elapsed. I know I started watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and probably had to let out some weird ideas and tried to retreat.
Contagious
So, watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," I was thinking of, "Grandma got run over by a reindeer." Well, all the white people in the U.S. have ancestors from snowy climates. It just was wrong that the humor of it was twisted to me. I think it's not supposed to be that way. I mean, if it were, okay, but I think it was just a mistake. Why am I uptight that I might forget more about important things I haven't written down I've imagined? I mean, I might, but it's not "because Mrs. Ellen DeGeneres says so." How corny, ha haha ha ha. 3D She is shaped like a block of ice.
Acting I
You had your chance to talk last night. I begged you to come upstairs with me. I was looking for romance and instead I got a petrified woman standing in my doorway. I never want to hear the sound of your voice again, do you understand?
*suddenly sees petrified woman*
*outbreaks at "voice"*
There's a key to the back door. Stick to the hallway and your room and you won't get hurt.
*talks like she's a dog or visitor, like a ghost idea*
*like Beauty & the Beast*
Not in my apartment. I don't want to see you. Cover the mirrors when you walk through the house. And I'm sick and tired of smelling your cooking. I've had it up to here with your polyunsaturated oils. Now get that spaghetti off of my table.
*toilet room in dream*
*mirrors like jewelry revealing explicit material*
*softens at cooking and polyunsaturated oils*
*spaghetti like @ Disney that is gone!*
What the hell's so funny about it?
(pasta hurled)
Now it's garbage!!
I like it.
*crossly, contradicting*
You touch one strand of that linguini and I'll break every sinus in your head.
*"insane," manic*
I'll tell you exactly what it is. It's the cooking, the cleaning and the crying. It's the moose calls that open your ears at two o'clock in the morning. I can't take it anymore, Florence, I'm cracking up. Everything you do irritates me. And when you're not here, the things I know you're going to do when you come in irritate me ... You leave me little notes on my pillow. "We're all out of corn flakes. F.U." ... It took me three hours to figure out that F.U. was Florence Unger ... It's no one's fault, Florence. We're just a rotten pair.
*raises eyebrow @ F.U.*
*ecstatic @ 3 hours of blank*
That's just the frame. The picture I haven't even painted yet ... Every night in my diary I write down the things you did that day that aggravate me ... This is June and so far I filled up till January ... And I haven't even put down the Gaspacho Brothers yet.
*into space*
*like Anne Frank*
What sex life? I can't even have dirty dreams. You come in and clean them up.
*earnest, no sex life!*
Don't point that finger at me unless you intend to use it.
*violent, eyes bulging*
What's this? A display of temper? I haven't seen you really angry since the day I dropped my eyelashes in your pancake batter.
*thinking @ the past, crossly*
I'm trembling all over. Look how I'm trembling all over.
*like My Fair Lady, sits down in chair, "without you--*
... If I've just been told off, I think I may have missed it.
*insane*
Good.
I see.
Is that so?
Is that it?
What is that, a Cole Porter song?
*staring at her like she's weird, in lala land*
Good. Because now I'm going to tell -you- off ... For eight months, I've lived all alone in this apartment. I thought I was miserable. I thought I was lonely. I took you in here because I thought we could help each other ... And after three weeks of close, personal contact, I have hives, shingles and the heartbreak of psoriasis ... I am growing old at twice the speed of sound ... I have seven new liver spots on my hand that look like the Big Dipper ... I can't take any more, Florence ... Do me a favor and move into a kitchen. Live with your pots, your pans, your ladle and your meat thermometer ... I'm going inside to lie down now ... My teeth are coming lose and I'm afraid if I drop them in here, you'll get out your vacuum cleaner again.
*as if no one was even listening!..*
In the kitchen! I want to get your head in the oven and cook it like a capon.
*not feeling well..*
It's no use running, Florence. There's only six rooms and I know all the shortcuts.
*threateningly*
*suddenly sees petrified woman*
*outbreaks at "voice"*
There's a key to the back door. Stick to the hallway and your room and you won't get hurt.
*talks like she's a dog or visitor, like a ghost idea*
*like Beauty & the Beast*
Not in my apartment. I don't want to see you. Cover the mirrors when you walk through the house. And I'm sick and tired of smelling your cooking. I've had it up to here with your polyunsaturated oils. Now get that spaghetti off of my table.
*toilet room in dream*
*mirrors like jewelry revealing explicit material*
*softens at cooking and polyunsaturated oils*
*spaghetti like @ Disney that is gone!*
What the hell's so funny about it?
(pasta hurled)
Now it's garbage!!
I like it.
*crossly, contradicting*
You touch one strand of that linguini and I'll break every sinus in your head.
*"insane," manic*
I'll tell you exactly what it is. It's the cooking, the cleaning and the crying. It's the moose calls that open your ears at two o'clock in the morning. I can't take it anymore, Florence, I'm cracking up. Everything you do irritates me. And when you're not here, the things I know you're going to do when you come in irritate me ... You leave me little notes on my pillow. "We're all out of corn flakes. F.U." ... It took me three hours to figure out that F.U. was Florence Unger ... It's no one's fault, Florence. We're just a rotten pair.
*raises eyebrow @ F.U.*
*ecstatic @ 3 hours of blank*
That's just the frame. The picture I haven't even painted yet ... Every night in my diary I write down the things you did that day that aggravate me ... This is June and so far I filled up till January ... And I haven't even put down the Gaspacho Brothers yet.
*into space*
*like Anne Frank*
What sex life? I can't even have dirty dreams. You come in and clean them up.
*earnest, no sex life!*
Don't point that finger at me unless you intend to use it.
*violent, eyes bulging*
What's this? A display of temper? I haven't seen you really angry since the day I dropped my eyelashes in your pancake batter.
*thinking @ the past, crossly*
I'm trembling all over. Look how I'm trembling all over.
*like My Fair Lady, sits down in chair, "without you--*
... If I've just been told off, I think I may have missed it.
*insane*
Good.
I see.
Is that so?
Is that it?
What is that, a Cole Porter song?
*staring at her like she's weird, in lala land*
Good. Because now I'm going to tell -you- off ... For eight months, I've lived all alone in this apartment. I thought I was miserable. I thought I was lonely. I took you in here because I thought we could help each other ... And after three weeks of close, personal contact, I have hives, shingles and the heartbreak of psoriasis ... I am growing old at twice the speed of sound ... I have seven new liver spots on my hand that look like the Big Dipper ... I can't take any more, Florence ... Do me a favor and move into a kitchen. Live with your pots, your pans, your ladle and your meat thermometer ... I'm going inside to lie down now ... My teeth are coming lose and I'm afraid if I drop them in here, you'll get out your vacuum cleaner again.
*as if no one was even listening!..*
In the kitchen! I want to get your head in the oven and cook it like a capon.
*not feeling well..*
It's no use running, Florence. There's only six rooms and I know all the shortcuts.
*threateningly*
What's Down
So, my dad got me 2 like medium-ish trash cans, which remind me of Africa! dark brown.
Gotta go prepare lunch - sausage, if we got fish ... peel cucumber, wash lettuce, pack the brown stuff, hope my credit card will get me my diet choco smoothie. Oh yes, see if we have chicken or the honey ham, with the ranch, cheese whatever we got, lettuce or greens, on a wheat wrap my dad got. Not even sure how I am getting to school. Maybe, I can listen to music, dunno.. don't really feel like doing this, my dad thinks my EBT card will work elsewhere. 4:52 A.M. I better get to packin'. :0
Gotta go prepare lunch - sausage, if we got fish ... peel cucumber, wash lettuce, pack the brown stuff, hope my credit card will get me my diet choco smoothie. Oh yes, see if we have chicken or the honey ham, with the ranch, cheese whatever we got, lettuce or greens, on a wheat wrap my dad got. Not even sure how I am getting to school. Maybe, I can listen to music, dunno.. don't really feel like doing this, my dad thinks my EBT card will work elsewhere. 4:52 A.M. I better get to packin'. :0
A Nice, Artistic Girl-
It is hard to say that I am meaner than my mom. I only get upset if something happens to do with my little brother.
She is ***y? What does that say about me? My dad isn't un***y compared to other dudes. I don't know any really ***y guys. Maybe, I'm gay. Don't I have a choice to try to be ***y? Am I just genetic shit? I don't believe I would ever be like my dad in a way I don't want to be, though I find myself looking like my mom in weird ways. You think maybe it's a psychiatric problem? Maybe, my mom is just a really good person. Well, I know this guy in England with a nice dad and a ***y mom. His dad is a classical composer but supposedly died when we met. }3 He was sick. I guess my dad scraped for what he could muster and er I am an avid classical artist, as well..
She is ***y? What does that say about me? My dad isn't un***y compared to other dudes. I don't know any really ***y guys. Maybe, I'm gay. Don't I have a choice to try to be ***y? Am I just genetic shit? I don't believe I would ever be like my dad in a way I don't want to be, though I find myself looking like my mom in weird ways. You think maybe it's a psychiatric problem? Maybe, my mom is just a really good person. Well, I know this guy in England with a nice dad and a ***y mom. His dad is a classical composer but supposedly died when we met. }3 He was sick. I guess my dad scraped for what he could muster and er I am an avid classical artist, as well..
The Image @ the Ft.L Police
I saw a demented man with a wicked grin on Twitter. That used to be my aunt, but she moved to NW Florida, not on the beach, between Orlando and Gainesville.. She was so interested in me when e-mail came out and we became Barretts-in-New-Orleans..my friend's family did the same thing..I'm also up at Rochester where the other aunt from Fort Lauderdale lived a year, with her illegitimate daughter.
Crazy Intentions
Why is my dad like a Looney Tune or Mickey Mouse about not having fun meaning you're good? I don't kid around. I know the world is about having fun and that problems are ill-intended.
Mockery
I'm so annoyed I keep getting pitted with these sudden, annoying, unexpected or whatever sorta really tacky, cutting images of things to mock me, like I'm in some program, like I'm perverted to want love from adults.
Cool Orleans
I had this really cool friend supposedly from San Fransisco who had lots of cats. She was just all around the center of attention, whether or not she knows. She is 1 year older, a month, or maybe so, I think, shy. I remember because I saw her for her birthday, a bit after, once or twice, and she showed me she finally got some hip clothing. She knew the popular boy in her year, though born in October or November, from New Orleans, whose best friend died. She sat with him at pep rallies. He was so, like, attractive when I interacted with him, like at P.E., sometimes or at least once at length, with the classes separated into 4. The school was about 200 students per year. It seems like all we could think about was like oh should you have been on like the dance team? What about ballet, anyway? What was I thinking? What happens to people with dark hair? I did fit in. I did make flag team, but since my friend didn't I didn't do it. They train with band, 1 hour during the day, which would have replaced Art II, "Advanced" Drawing and Painting, and after school a lot. I guess it was a bit difficult, I mean they don't do this in junior high all the time. It seemed like I'd make it. Actually, I was hoping the boy would stay and I'd stay in it. The drama teacher left, too. Hardly anyone was in drama, and no one my age, the other few a bit older. That boy was in choir, too, and sang Titanic as a solo. I didn't try to get in Talented Music until later. I found I wanted to quit when I got older and heard it would have been better so much if I did it the 1st year with the other teacher who left. It was so sucky after my initial year! I guess a year of Talented Theater did it, too. The community theater had a dying agenda. I didn't do theater at NOCCA because Classical Instrumental Music for piano was more smart and connected the arts, better, and gave me more valuable tools. I might not have went back were I still in high school. It's not a reliable program and may be for mainstream New Orleanians. It was fun in the summer, but they don't let you board, since I went.
Continental Divide
People from South Carolina think they are very Southern, more than New Orleans. Georgia is special and feels more like the same. I'm guessing that anywhere other than Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Kentucky, maybe the Capitol, feel more Southern than New Orleans. Even places like Las Vegas feel more like barren and wild yet more civilized.
An' I Can' Fight This Feeling Anymore
What do you think of the funny feeling for whatever reason the guy actor carrying away darling Cosette in Les Misérables, seemed like he pointedly drew in the forces or whatever the word is, summoned, of Tim Burton, like he's a pedophile? I really don't believe in not doing something about anything, the way I never got online. The thing is I did get online, it so happened, when I was 20, well 21. Anyway, I wanted to IM with my friends and e-mail people. I just never thought of Blogger but probably should have known it was invented after awhile. I didn't even know which high school nor college I was going to until I went.
How shall I do it? 8>
Did you think it was a big deal it's Tim Burton's fault that all this popular stuff went out of style? Think of how he did it.
Stalking
After I used the luscious scrub at Bath & Body Works at age 20, I noticed they stopped selling it, for Christmas. Their products are shitty, now.
ma-a-ad
When the n word thing happened with Tim Burton's daughter, the Blackberry stopped going in style. Photobucket has video ads when loading. Twitter took down the option to see lots of pix at once, though in the past week you can flip through them. I NEED A NEW CELL PHONE.
night train
So, I woke up and had ... I know liverwurst, 2 thin slices of pizza, 2 sushis (my dad didn't get more,) Reeses my parents gave me.. (forgot to put giant Reeses on my grocery list,) and now waiting for somehting I haven't had in awhile ... Fettucini Alfredo! to coo'! I have leftover hot dog. I hope my dad got the chicken to make the wraps, if not will use sliced honey ham.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Dream
I was in a row of people. finally made it to music class, and Renée Fleming was 2 people down, just looked at Órla Karron Fallon online. For some reason, she was really tall, quite big. She was talking to me, forget about what. She had a long peach light tannish dress on, maybe with a slit and like squared top look. She had her arms on me, maybe like Sarah Brightman with Jackie Evancho. So I was like cradling my fingers around her waist to show I was actually holding onto her, not just touching her. This lasted awhile and felt good. Like, it got more intense, and I had to think of holding on. Then, she just held on and I got uncomfortable, as she asked me about singing. So, she picked me up and walked around to set an example. I just felt good, didn't feel stimulated then.. She was sitting next to a girl before who was an opera or singing major.. Ah, I forgot what happened before now. Well, they stood up and demonstrated stuff, and I was like involved. So, my music teacher was a great aunt who has passed. Sad about it, but she smoked a lot. No one like her, neither. Not that I know I'm related to. So, before I saw my 2 music teachers, too, I know. I think it was wicked. So, I felt very comfortable with the person. I just felt like I was being cared for. You know, I felt soft and sweet, somewhat like nectar-milky. My legs just seemed like they fit like I was sitting in a high seat for a baby, you know, not sticking out. We were talking about serious things in music the whole time, was aware of what I was saying I think.
Now, Ordering! Oof
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Shower-Bath
Want to go to bed after. So I am ready for the beginning of the week at school. Wanted to go to the mall, Wal-Mart, maybe somewhere else, but I can have my dad go for me, not to the mall. Nothing too big there to get. There is a dress for $85 not online, 1 left in XL.
Ate
It's hard to remember. I know I had 2 French bread pizzas and lots of asparagus's. I had 2 more little round brownies earlier heated up for 10 seconds. I finished the rest of my pizza just now, seemed like a meatwad left. I think I had more sushi but have to leave some for my mom, have an e-mail due to my dad and to call about transportation for tomorrow and Tuesday.
Ate
California roles sushi my mom got
2 + some of an Oscar Meyer bun length hot dog my dad got beef franks for me with wheat buns and Heinz ketchup
Sea Salt potato chips like at Starbucks at Barnes & Noble I got
Tomato Soup, some sort of Campbell's, Tyson's frozen Buffalo chicken strips with jalapeño Monetary Jack cheese, Dill & Olive Oil Triscuits
2 little round brownies microwaved for 15 seconds, too long, piled on top of each other
I'm tired still, probably watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and later shower.. xp
2 + some of an Oscar Meyer bun length hot dog my dad got beef franks for me with wheat buns and Heinz ketchup
Sea Salt potato chips like at Starbucks at Barnes & Noble I got
Tomato Soup, some sort of Campbell's, Tyson's frozen Buffalo chicken strips with jalapeño Monetary Jack cheese, Dill & Olive Oil Triscuits
2 little round brownies microwaved for 15 seconds, too long, piled on top of each other
I'm tired still, probably watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and later shower.. xp
Problem
My dad acted tacky about just not giving me money and not answering. My mom probably could use that potion. Why do they want me to use my own money and then run out? I didn't ask for much. ':| I believe that's why these things are there. Also, if you didn't know, my financial aid didn't work because of my Withdrawals + my G.P.A., not sure if it's just at this school, though it shouldn't matter, because it was 1 semester here. I had excuses before and wrote them down. Have a feeling this is like before, just won't listen to me. My mom was acting like she was better than me, and I have no idea why because I don't want to be considered lumpy. I kinda think she's definitely a midget, even.
Money
So, these nigger people are thinking I shouldn't have spent $50 at Bath & Body Works. Well, I mean I just got a selection of hand sanitizers. I got like 3 cute things and 2 perfumey things, when most people get more, somehow. My dad even wanted me to buy my own food. Maybe, next month, I'd ask him. I just really wanted it, and my cell phone wouldn't work and I dunno just didn't think of it, mean it was late and he was going back home. I'm hoping he'll buy me something else, but we'll see. It probably won't all run out, so I can get it next weekend, though I don't know if he's paid this weekend. I can get a dress and sweater for like $50 or a fancy dress for $85. I got a lot the beginning of last month, want to get 2 big trash cans this month. Also want toilet drops. I know last month I got things like hampers or whatnot. Maybe, tomorrow, I'll at least get hand sanitizers at Wal-Mart, have him buy them, like before, so I can save the others for school and supplied and not be so addicted to getting them the beginning of next month unless my dad wants me to buy them next time because it's the beginning of the month. Thing is now they have sanitizer in a dispenser and I wanted the shimmer gel, reminds me to find a wallet. Also, the van came late last week, and my dad didn't e-mail about the cell phone just yet, doesn't mean anything. :|
Verdict
A friend didn't talk to me, seemed to think either I was shit because she had ethnic issues or I deserved more and better, like another friend suggested. Now, my life is like ... in front of Tim Burton all the time or Ellen DeGeneres rather in sorta saving graces it's "about" her, when I tracked her thru e-mail and she just maybe doesn't type. She used to slide away from me and say not to talk to her but seemed like she could be kidding and there was no reason, probably just found out something about me I wasn't really, accepting. When the classes split in junior high, another girl would just look away from me as we waited for our mom's cars. I got mad at her. Like each time. I'm not saying oh there is no more Tim Burton, no more Ellen DeGeneres right now. So, I met a nice person, probably have been in similar situations, and in Florida, and they are here immune to this disease, for some reason. Same up north. Well, not around my relatives, which I haven't been since ' 15 '
Dream
I remember lots of things. At 1 point, I was asleep sorta and listening to the phone of kids supposedly in a theater class, wondering about Martin Luther King, Jr., Day, since it was Groundhog Day. I picked up some machine and played with it and put it back. I found Ginny was sitting on a couch in the room rather fresh, looked like my old apartment in Altamonte Springs. Supposedly, I slept through the alarm. It was dark like night but supposedly 9:30 A.M. or almost. So, anyway, I didn't know if she was still there, was on a couch ... oh, I ventured to answer a 2nd knock. 1st, the person looked Asian, again, dark and with like an angled face, then it was a black lady like come to take me home. I didn't see through the peephole. Anyway, on the sofa, I noticed 2 TV shows, 1st was Sampson & Sally based and 2nd was like a cute version with like a huge elephant with a small trunk, rather sketchy, from The Jungle Book, and I said I liked the snakes as I left. Before, I noticed it looked kinda, not su - explicit like me. So, on the sofa, my legs felt kinda like pins and needles like someone was gonna take me to my room.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Forget
I was gonna say something interesting, but I forgot what it was. I was mad at Ellen DeGeneres for being mad when she's a mean person. Why does she allude to our parents in ways we hate? I don't. That means I'm better than her, cooler, more popular.
Something That Doesn't Matter
The bare truth is, when you refer to Asians mattering you want it to be real Asian shit you've known. Also, you can't hope for everything just because you're all white. Gotta make the statement at some point, or nothing will happen.
Substantiality
Why do people with fair features act like nothing matters but seem kinda like not very substantial?
NyQuil
Starting the oven for French bread pizza.. later probably will have beef and the greens, maybe a hot dog after this if I'm still hungry. I haven't thought of what else to make. European food is not up for grabs and isn't very greasy.
Ate
I had liverwurst, 2 packs of cracker sticks you dunk in cheese, and 2 more of the cream cheese and crives crackers with spread. I'm not sure what I'll have later, maybe a hot dog? Probably cook some veggies, greens..need to leave a note for groceries and a trip to school to rehearse tomorrow. Too bad my cell doesn't work, didn't receive an e-mail..were supposed to Skype possibly, not sure how, don't have a mic.
Facebook Post
Orla, I just gave my friend who's expecting, your CD tonight. She was so happy to get it, and when we listened for a little while, she started to cry. Thanks for all you do.
Like ·
Ate
I had dipping cracker sticks in cheese and some of the Cream Cheese & Chives crackers with spread, pretty good stuff. You know they're sold in vending machines, I know at my community college. I made canned Chef Boyardee Macaroni & Cheese. It's pretty hot, for some reason. Maybe, I should leave an order for Panera Bread. I also want to get the $85 dress at Sears or 1 dress and sweater that's funky at JCPenney. So, I'm not going tonight, slept all day. Probably will go back to bed or watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" on my computer, practice for theater, possibly shower possibly not.. maybe go on IMDb. I feel kinda worked out, like even when I did ballet. I'm 5'2", though. Gymnastics has a similar effect if you're new. I don't understand why everyone seems so much taller than me if I'm like now 5'2". I hope to get 5'3", next. I thought I was 5' before. I'm trying to get my spine more condense, which seemed dirty but happened from the side flops. I'm not lifting my throat. My head could be bigger. You know, it seems that I just have to think of leaving after being stuck in Orlando pretty much, though I do like to appreciate it comfortably.
No Care
Why can't some people be hurt? Next time I see a presumptuous teen or rather adult on Ellen why can't we like **** them? No one cares about their "ad-vice."
My parents didn't leave me $20. My credit card didn't work at a gas station! And the guy was being a nigger. Also, their "ATM" stopped.
My parents didn't leave me $20. My credit card didn't work at a gas station! And the guy was being a nigger. Also, their "ATM" stopped.
Dream
It's hard to remember the 2nd clearly, but the 1st I was like forlorn and wanted to meet someone, like it was Ginny. So, I guess I wanted affection or something, so the person picked me up for a long, long time, and I didn't feel too big, for some reason. I felt pretty good but not totally, a bit like Kate Bush and Helena Bonham Carter. So, she was sitting on a stool in the front corner away from the door, and it was kinda faded and orangy, and like every once in awhile or every like other second or moment it felt she'd jerk me like she always was aware of how I was feeling. Anyway, I awoke feeling good and cozy, like in the dream.
The 2nd dream was kinda creepy. I know I was looking for a bathroom but couldn't go, even was sitting there where others could see me and it was normal for us. There were like fancy, dainty sorta elongated covers plastered in rectangles that were like dark gray in a big dark grey sorta cozy room that seemed kinda wet and not like smelly. It was kinda a dangerous dream I don't remember. :{ I keep waking up to bossy-sounding clicks that erase more insignificant dreams. Oh, put a sock in it. WTF you think you are? Hey, what was that? Look, I want my life, you.
The 2nd dream was kinda creepy. I know I was looking for a bathroom but couldn't go, even was sitting there where others could see me and it was normal for us. There were like fancy, dainty sorta elongated covers plastered in rectangles that were like dark gray in a big dark grey sorta cozy room that seemed kinda wet and not like smelly. It was kinda a dangerous dream I don't remember. :{ I keep waking up to bossy-sounding clicks that erase more insignificant dreams. Oh, put a sock in it. WTF you think you are? Hey, what was that? Look, I want my life, you.
Facebook Post
http://www.facebook.com/ginny.kopf
>:o Good, so you know about learning singing and having a good base athletically to put on a dance, though I'm not sure what happens in dance technique? Make it attractive, rigid, evocative?
(cont.)
I don't remember if my parents went to open house alone in high school but probably. We went, too, at my schools when I was younger, in Florida, and it was definitely and excellent experience, which I didn't think too much on. I did do ballet and choir, but it wasn't quite the same show. I never heard of private voice but found out my mom did. I think we couldn't afford it, and I did gymnastics + ballet.. I kinda regret gymnastics, but I regretted not taking ballet since we couldn't find a good school and when we moved couldn't find any school, at all. (The nearest was on the highway for maybe an hour, or 45 min.) The thing with gymnastics is you take it when you're a toddler and then you do ballet or you quit when you are like 5 possibly and learn to dance. All I can say was I was young. It was hard because all the other girls did ballet before.. I could not remember a sequence of moves.. never thought it was ordinary, since I'd never heard of it being okay and I knew I was okay. I did want my dad to meet you because ... I thought you were from San Fransisco. My mom wants to take class from her, and she gave me a USB to put your 22 minute critique on. She was nagging at me years ago on taking..accent reduction. She kept saying, "accent reduction.." She also went to Jillian Michaels's workshop @ RDV for vets, for some reason, 2 weeks ago. I went to a debate with her at Valencia on Wednesday. I might have gone if I knew, but I probably wouldn't want to since I mean I don't always go to that kind of thing and I mean would hope to 1 day encounter her in some other fashion. The funny thing is lots of people start dance older than I did. They are not as athletic. I just always felt insulted for having a dad born in 1950, as opposed to having a dad maybe 30 years older or having a family based with an attractive woman born in 1920. The girl in the picture below looks really sporty, thought maybe Jillian Michaels would like her athletically.. I don't know why I wasn't athletic unless I was in gymnastics, knew I could do lots of pullups and made it in the 1 mile run. I mean, I thought Britney Spears is an athlete. She looked skinny when she was busy and energized. I know ballet programs where you don't dance much aren't great. I'd rather go to your class than ballet. I don't want to do modern dance, as of right now. I heard it was better than jazz. I heard ballet was safe and a base dance. All I know is someone who doesn't do gymnastics as their sport and ballet as a dance would be fun in theater. Their voice would be athletic, maybe untoned.. maybe not very resonant. I just am worried, am lucky I couldn't do ballet as a kid because I lived in an interesting place. What would happen if I was pumped up as a ballerina? My mom is better off having done ballet and gymnastics. I think my parents had more time. I liked having a break from choir, too, which meant no music class. I just wish I had time to practice piano, kinda wanted to dance instead but kinda am glad I didn't, had fun at the modern dance studio but told my mom if I knew I wouldn't get in the class with my age wouldn't have. I was there 2½ years. How was I supposed to know to leave, was too late? I really wanted to get in that class.. Left because my mom wouldn't let me take it at 2 schools.. I had this nice friend in it with at least 2 other girls from my class. D': I did take a break and did adult ballet but went back and added adult gymnastics at arts school in New Orleans. It was a big thing to learn things outside of your main thing, like I know girls in dance would do piano. I had a friend who did voice and tennis young who I played with. She didn't do much voice and didn't seem to "like theater." I think people who are more interested in in the performing voice are shy about their body, unless they are athletic or healthy.. Not really sure where I'm going, I think, just kinda upset at things, my relationships, my unpredictable life, my whole past, some thing or another, like some really stringent school even in my age of glory.. I guess I was sometimes cranky when I did gymnastics, just wanted it as a side activity but could only afford 1 activity. Never even heard of theater for kids but know about being a prodigy or young success|avid recipient. I was constantly told that it was bad to want to do what you're supposed to in school and that you need to not live your life possibly if you want to go to college, unless you go as an athlete. I wanted to do soccer, when I was 17 and did a camp at 18. I did organ then, too. There were some sucky youth groups in Slidell, La., where it was based on, mostly, volleyball and had changing directors- I'm not sure why..but I don't know what my point is! D'; I was so busy, had gotten a bad grade in a sudden history lecture + heavy reading course where I retained nothing important.. at the time, I had opened my schedule and lived such a holistic life, ate a big breakfast of lots of healthy, very good-tasting cereal, with a big smörgåsbord of things. Anyway, so, now, I jog with weights and do floor exercises. The ballet training affected me greatest, and gymnastics gave me muscular strength, though I'm not great at pushups. Cross country, which I regretted, actually put me in shape, in the long run. I did it from the very beginning, at a public high school. I dropped a weight training flex start course, thought it started in January. It just seems like the gymnastics helped, doing it a lot, and then when I quit it was okay. However, I had this friend who did ballet, swimming, then quit. I'm sure the gymnastics helped, and doing it at 7 and more at 8 gave me the professional experience, though it became too complex, the flipping in the air off the slippery vault the catapulting into the foam pit around nervous children. I had this other friend in choir when I was there, too. Anyway, why do the college students seem so immature and young, like junior high or even elementary kids? You should advertise for gifted young high schoolers and 8th graders to come to your classes at night.. Orlando should start an arts center, but I really don't know how exactly it would work, guess that they would need a base public high school, definitely not at the arts school! I went to a play at my brother's high school..Bishop Mooore. I would go to the public, sportiest, grittiest high school or wherever I'm allowed. :) Anyway, I think there was a short, dorky girl, the whole play was 50's based on something I knew or heard of or liked even, probably had music inserts but probably not singing. I learned that there is no thing because when I was in Talented Music and Theater in my 3rd year I got credited for vocals because I was in those 2 programs. I wanted to sing in Talented Music but got in for piano. Some people joined my class, and I moved schools and changed hours (just realized about that) and didn't want to do it anymore. 1st was an older Korean girl. I still remember the song..normal? Filomel with meloday, sing in our sweet lullaby-y, never harm nor *ell nor charm, come our lovely lady nigh, so good-night, with lullaby. Funny they did it at Orlando Ballet twice. Why do you hear these singers have such angelic operatic voices like for a cinematic show? I know you have to seek out these things. I went to probably the best music college in the world, but the theory was uncomplicated and same with any course at all here.. It was so simple, but the singing was awful. It was just exciting. It or ballet, guess I needed both, was kicked out.. Orlando Ballet is strict and uncomfortable and didn't let me take classes with the kids|teens.. I went to ballet schools in the New Orleans area, guess they were slutty. Did a Nia class, which I don't regret, though. I mean, you have a college degree, but you don't seem to work with smart kids. So, I wonder like though they'd probably prefer you over Valencia professors to teach high schoolers. I mean, it makes sense that you'd work with talent at a community college. It's still a college, but I mean that's where older young adults go, I mean.. I know, though, I mean as a kid I didn't have a very long nor short nose, but people treated me like I wasn't white and threatened me for maybe not being that girl the Ramsy case. They thought my dad wasn't cool and my mom wasn't like stimulating|e********. Well, when I was 7, there was a popular girl from NYC and kinda a subtle group. Then, there was a girl from like the top of the southern jut of Louisiana or around there. I guess I'm having a hard time because like it seems that people think maybe my mom could have found a sweet man. My dad is cool but not very compact since he is born in 1950. Too bad because I need a place to live where food is brought to me and I don't have to work since I'm young and feeble from school still and prefer to see my parents.. I really don't know why you don't just go out and advertise to have high schoolers from the area come to your classes on Tuesday and Thursday nights. I mean, you could have like 10-15 different high schoolers each night who pass an audition or make it in time. It sounds like a Protestant Youth Group. You could just go there, too. Except, I don't think singing is very involved in that. You should also definitely had advertised to certain people in Disney College, like maybe 1s..dunno, maybe all of them, some have more time. Like, I dunno, the janitors would be more funny. They told me we couldn't perform, so you could have advertised to young dancers and singers and actors. You know, if you taught young kids who are like age 6 in a separate class your pride would go there. It feels like you're teaching people who are very fresh and who need lots of attention and some more receptive than others and simply supported by the world to the best of their will. Guess you need a class where only people who are a grown age can attend, imagine the kids would be startled. If you did a play, though, you should use real kids.. Solves that! :-D You should hang out with the community, at large. I sure like your classes that go into 10 P.M. You know, I leave around 11 P.M. on Thursdays. I don't know about other people, but my dad gets home at exactly 5 P.M. I imagine most people in Orlando who drive would get home at 6 P.M. I used to go to choir at 7 P.M., once a week. Saturdays are a good day for class. That's when ballerinas practice, not sure about competition team. You could offer classes at 6:30 P.M. or 8:00 P.M. You know, some organists for some reason are rich or something. I know when I was little I was allowed to be sorta a lose goose since my dad was born in 1950, don't know girls with dads who are less than 30 years older with a mom my mom's age. My aunts just like the reek of my dad. I could direct a community performance featuring kids. That way, there would be someone younger than you as a sub hub for youth. You know, I'm an experienced accompanist. I feel I was directing the older kids in your acting class. You might consider going back to where you came from, just it might not be as snappy nor snazzy as Orlando. It's very lonely to move. I needed a NiQuil, hungry and tired, had 2 sandwiches and dessert out today. I'll think about what I wrote to you this week|end. Have a good rest of the weekend, plan to wear my new dress outfit to both classes this week. Have some exciting things but spent $50 at Bath & Body Works, don't see why I wouldn't again later. Asked my parents for $20 since my credit card didn't work at a store.
>:o Good, so you know about learning singing and having a good base athletically to put on a dance, though I'm not sure what happens in dance technique? Make it attractive, rigid, evocative?
(cont.)
I don't remember if my parents went to open house alone in high school but probably. We went, too, at my schools when I was younger, in Florida, and it was definitely and excellent experience, which I didn't think too much on. I did do ballet and choir, but it wasn't quite the same show. I never heard of private voice but found out my mom did. I think we couldn't afford it, and I did gymnastics + ballet.. I kinda regret gymnastics, but I regretted not taking ballet since we couldn't find a good school and when we moved couldn't find any school, at all. (The nearest was on the highway for maybe an hour, or 45 min.) The thing with gymnastics is you take it when you're a toddler and then you do ballet or you quit when you are like 5 possibly and learn to dance. All I can say was I was young. It was hard because all the other girls did ballet before.. I could not remember a sequence of moves.. never thought it was ordinary, since I'd never heard of it being okay and I knew I was okay. I did want my dad to meet you because ... I thought you were from San Fransisco. My mom wants to take class from her, and she gave me a USB to put your 22 minute critique on. She was nagging at me years ago on taking..accent reduction. She kept saying, "accent reduction.." She also went to Jillian Michaels's workshop @ RDV for vets, for some reason, 2 weeks ago. I went to a debate with her at Valencia on Wednesday. I might have gone if I knew, but I probably wouldn't want to since I mean I don't always go to that kind of thing and I mean would hope to 1 day encounter her in some other fashion. The funny thing is lots of people start dance older than I did. They are not as athletic. I just always felt insulted for having a dad born in 1950, as opposed to having a dad maybe 30 years older or having a family based with an attractive woman born in 1920. The girl in the picture below looks really sporty, thought maybe Jillian Michaels would like her athletically.. I don't know why I wasn't athletic unless I was in gymnastics, knew I could do lots of pullups and made it in the 1 mile run. I mean, I thought Britney Spears is an athlete. She looked skinny when she was busy and energized. I know ballet programs where you don't dance much aren't great. I'd rather go to your class than ballet. I don't want to do modern dance, as of right now. I heard it was better than jazz. I heard ballet was safe and a base dance. All I know is someone who doesn't do gymnastics as their sport and ballet as a dance would be fun in theater. Their voice would be athletic, maybe untoned.. maybe not very resonant. I just am worried, am lucky I couldn't do ballet as a kid because I lived in an interesting place. What would happen if I was pumped up as a ballerina? My mom is better off having done ballet and gymnastics. I think my parents had more time. I liked having a break from choir, too, which meant no music class. I just wish I had time to practice piano, kinda wanted to dance instead but kinda am glad I didn't, had fun at the modern dance studio but told my mom if I knew I wouldn't get in the class with my age wouldn't have. I was there 2½ years. How was I supposed to know to leave, was too late? I really wanted to get in that class.. Left because my mom wouldn't let me take it at 2 schools.. I had this nice friend in it with at least 2 other girls from my class. D': I did take a break and did adult ballet but went back and added adult gymnastics at arts school in New Orleans. It was a big thing to learn things outside of your main thing, like I know girls in dance would do piano. I had a friend who did voice and tennis young who I played with. She didn't do much voice and didn't seem to "like theater." I think people who are more interested in in the performing voice are shy about their body, unless they are athletic or healthy.. Not really sure where I'm going, I think, just kinda upset at things, my relationships, my unpredictable life, my whole past, some thing or another, like some really stringent school even in my age of glory.. I guess I was sometimes cranky when I did gymnastics, just wanted it as a side activity but could only afford 1 activity. Never even heard of theater for kids but know about being a prodigy or young success|avid recipient. I was constantly told that it was bad to want to do what you're supposed to in school and that you need to not live your life possibly if you want to go to college, unless you go as an athlete. I wanted to do soccer, when I was 17 and did a camp at 18. I did organ then, too. There were some sucky youth groups in Slidell, La., where it was based on, mostly, volleyball and had changing directors- I'm not sure why..but I don't know what my point is! D'; I was so busy, had gotten a bad grade in a sudden history lecture + heavy reading course where I retained nothing important.. at the time, I had opened my schedule and lived such a holistic life, ate a big breakfast of lots of healthy, very good-tasting cereal, with a big smörgåsbord of things. Anyway, so, now, I jog with weights and do floor exercises. The ballet training affected me greatest, and gymnastics gave me muscular strength, though I'm not great at pushups. Cross country, which I regretted, actually put me in shape, in the long run. I did it from the very beginning, at a public high school. I dropped a weight training flex start course, thought it started in January. It just seems like the gymnastics helped, doing it a lot, and then when I quit it was okay. However, I had this friend who did ballet, swimming, then quit. I'm sure the gymnastics helped, and doing it at 7 and more at 8 gave me the professional experience, though it became too complex, the flipping in the air off the slippery vault the catapulting into the foam pit around nervous children. I had this other friend in choir when I was there, too. Anyway, why do the college students seem so immature and young, like junior high or even elementary kids? You should advertise for gifted young high schoolers and 8th graders to come to your classes at night.. Orlando should start an arts center, but I really don't know how exactly it would work, guess that they would need a base public high school, definitely not at the arts school! I went to a play at my brother's high school..Bishop Mooore. I would go to the public, sportiest, grittiest high school or wherever I'm allowed. :) Anyway, I think there was a short, dorky girl, the whole play was 50's based on something I knew or heard of or liked even, probably had music inserts but probably not singing. I learned that there is no thing because when I was in Talented Music and Theater in my 3rd year I got credited for vocals because I was in those 2 programs. I wanted to sing in Talented Music but got in for piano. Some people joined my class, and I moved schools and changed hours (just realized about that) and didn't want to do it anymore. 1st was an older Korean girl. I still remember the song..normal? Filomel with meloday, sing in our sweet lullaby-y, never harm nor *ell nor charm, come our lovely lady nigh, so good-night, with lullaby. Funny they did it at Orlando Ballet twice. Why do you hear these singers have such angelic operatic voices like for a cinematic show? I know you have to seek out these things. I went to probably the best music college in the world, but the theory was uncomplicated and same with any course at all here.. It was so simple, but the singing was awful. It was just exciting. It or ballet, guess I needed both, was kicked out.. Orlando Ballet is strict and uncomfortable and didn't let me take classes with the kids|teens.. I went to ballet schools in the New Orleans area, guess they were slutty. Did a Nia class, which I don't regret, though. I mean, you have a college degree, but you don't seem to work with smart kids. So, I wonder like though they'd probably prefer you over Valencia professors to teach high schoolers. I mean, it makes sense that you'd work with talent at a community college. It's still a college, but I mean that's where older young adults go, I mean.. I know, though, I mean as a kid I didn't have a very long nor short nose, but people treated me like I wasn't white and threatened me for maybe not being that girl the Ramsy case. They thought my dad wasn't cool and my mom wasn't like stimulating|e********. Well, when I was 7, there was a popular girl from NYC and kinda a subtle group. Then, there was a girl from like the top of the southern jut of Louisiana or around there. I guess I'm having a hard time because like it seems that people think maybe my mom could have found a sweet man. My dad is cool but not very compact since he is born in 1950. Too bad because I need a place to live where food is brought to me and I don't have to work since I'm young and feeble from school still and prefer to see my parents.. I really don't know why you don't just go out and advertise to have high schoolers from the area come to your classes on Tuesday and Thursday nights. I mean, you could have like 10-15 different high schoolers each night who pass an audition or make it in time. It sounds like a Protestant Youth Group. You could just go there, too. Except, I don't think singing is very involved in that. You should also definitely had advertised to certain people in Disney College, like maybe 1s..dunno, maybe all of them, some have more time. Like, I dunno, the janitors would be more funny. They told me we couldn't perform, so you could have advertised to young dancers and singers and actors. You know, if you taught young kids who are like age 6 in a separate class your pride would go there. It feels like you're teaching people who are very fresh and who need lots of attention and some more receptive than others and simply supported by the world to the best of their will. Guess you need a class where only people who are a grown age can attend, imagine the kids would be startled. If you did a play, though, you should use real kids.. Solves that! :-D You should hang out with the community, at large. I sure like your classes that go into 10 P.M. You know, I leave around 11 P.M. on Thursdays. I don't know about other people, but my dad gets home at exactly 5 P.M. I imagine most people in Orlando who drive would get home at 6 P.M. I used to go to choir at 7 P.M., once a week. Saturdays are a good day for class. That's when ballerinas practice, not sure about competition team. You could offer classes at 6:30 P.M. or 8:00 P.M. You know, some organists for some reason are rich or something. I know when I was little I was allowed to be sorta a lose goose since my dad was born in 1950, don't know girls with dads who are less than 30 years older with a mom my mom's age. My aunts just like the reek of my dad. I could direct a community performance featuring kids. That way, there would be someone younger than you as a sub hub for youth. You know, I'm an experienced accompanist. I feel I was directing the older kids in your acting class. You might consider going back to where you came from, just it might not be as snappy nor snazzy as Orlando. It's very lonely to move. I needed a NiQuil, hungry and tired, had 2 sandwiches and dessert out today. I'll think about what I wrote to you this week|end. Have a good rest of the weekend, plan to wear my new dress outfit to both classes this week. Have some exciting things but spent $50 at Bath & Body Works, don't see why I wouldn't again later. Asked my parents for $20 since my credit card didn't work at a store.
Friday, February 1, 2013
Stuff
Yesterday, a Middle Eastern Latino and Canadian professor hit me when I did something from the back at the debate.
So, in the YouTube video of Britney Spears in the Mickey Mouse Club singing "You Know You're Gonna Be Mine," where she dances and sings really powerfully and sweetly, it's unbelievably coordinated and I connected it to the crapo infested in the Nu Orlns area. It was like a switch, you know in French, kept flipping with pow'r, not necessarily like Ellen DeGeneres but you know yea. I was very strong and active there, so I mean, I'm not like from up north myself but I mean I'm pretty pow'rful. So, she is more like Ellen DeGeneres than me, and I liked watching and hope to see more.
So, in the YouTube video of Britney Spears in the Mickey Mouse Club singing "You Know You're Gonna Be Mine," where she dances and sings really powerfully and sweetly, it's unbelievably coordinated and I connected it to the crapo infested in the Nu Orlns area. It was like a switch, you know in French, kept flipping with pow'r, not necessarily like Ellen DeGeneres but you know yea. I was very strong and active there, so I mean, I'm not like from up north myself but I mean I'm pretty pow'rful. So, she is more like Ellen DeGeneres than me, and I liked watching and hope to see more.
Stuff
In class, I got up on the 2nd highest table, and the teacher said it was unstable or like fell apart last year, the other 1. So, anyway.. I guess it was about 4' and I looked down about 3 seconds and leaned onto my hands with pow'r and class and like unseeable slam..
Farming Families
I think Ellen DeGeneres thinks I'm bad because I'm from a farming family, but my family is not all farming family and my mom is not farming family and I like farming families..
Ignore
Just ignore people who "say they say it." At least I found a teacher here who mightn't be Jewish from her mom nor with a Jewish girl.. Some people have an alcohol problem. Or coffee|food issue..
Me
So, I got my brain from my dad and my body and ********* physically from my mom. That's how it goes being mixed with parents. I forgot that some time ago, but it seemed very apparent. I seem to have the ****** punch of my mom.. That's the sorta retarded side, though.. So, it's what I chose as opposed to my dad, and no it's not white.. I mean, yea it's European..
Back.
Gonna go out. Cell died. Took off my outfit. Tried on the new 1 from Macy's, plan to wear it this weekend, washing the dress. Loading pix and vid. Forgot something in homework and rehearsing speaking words, so gotta put a calender in my binder.. :? I have a Valencia binder, and they're even selling a sweatshirt with hearts and the school name on it. It sounds cute, see how I feel. xp
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