As usual..

..sorry if anyone was offended by anything I talked about that's been happening to me.  I hope I improve, but I heard brain cells don't regrow.  I wonder if I'm an invalid.  I don't know if I've imposed myself on anyone.  I just don't have a life where the sequence is smooth acceptance in my opinion, in some ways sometimes.  I think initially it was my race, and that's not my fault.  I respect all races, tho.  I noticed too that when Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) starring Johnny Depp directed by Tim Burton.. that life changed then, too, like opportunities and guilt.  Everyone was jealous of it the movie or the people involved.  So, lies came out and people fought, and the world was never the same.  I think older people were mean to us younger people and for me I had weird issues, not sure why no one told me to change because they weren't telling the truth before about what life was and going to be for me, other plans.  I think I said I was concerned that the experiment on me was more important than spending more time on a school that maybe was not in line with my academic history.  Later on, the classes were too hard and I ended up dropping out or going on a sabbatical.  Now, I want to start a new instrument and since musicians don't really need to go to college I'm not going to college and am lonely and feel out.  Transportation would be hard, and money may be impossible.  My record is not exactly spotless, concerning scholarships.  The main problem is money for a surplus of food.  My appetite has gone down since the psych pills, tho.  People think my mind wanders, but they are just spending too much time looking at the big picture and not what I feel like I'm doing.  I didn't even know anyone cared.  Also, what I say they think I'm silly that I don't know it doesn't matter.  I can see it's just racism.  I miss talking to people.  It makes me better.