Ever since Hillary Clinton lost the Presidency.. even before, people were channeling energy from someone I look up to but things were supposedly fine.. but after this, it's like they can't communicate, at least not freely like before to me. People just keep thinking of negatively stimulating them. It's become all about them nostalgically, like a joke from some people supposedly being the ones doing it for them. By people watching me in my room, they sound like they are all negatively stimulated for some reason.
I guess you could argue that everyone should feel that, looking at it in a different way, "good," so why not them? I shouldn't worry about it.
I just noticed some other things, too. It's all about Late Boomers is one thing. They always are out of it. My life just sucks. I feel alone and put down in a lonely way, as I have also lost some way of functioning. Someone came in and took it from me.
Things are bound to get better. I just feel so sorry for Hillary Clinton. What caused people to tip the vote? I feel blame, as well.
People I know want me outta there like I deserve nothing, like I was raided.
I'm not just saying I have to have something others don't but that I also feel pain when others are used as toys to feel negative pleasure, like that's on the traintrack of life. You know, all of a sudden people think I am shit. "I can't do music," cuz I don't have an instrument and in panic, I looked like a boy partly as a kid but in a way I did not like "so I can't get anything" socially today, "my life did not follow the ideal" so I don't matter, etc. I got a lesson that I can't have what I want and channeled messages that this isn't about me cuz I'm not worth it, like I just never get anything now because of things that have happened or I've done..
People who are good who like me have problems with me and things I've done that aren't 100% pre-known to be wrong, like forgiveness is nothing.
Honestly, I forget what the 2 things were that were problems, as indicated by the title.
I guess I feel pain that I'm left out, yet again, when I've made it big, and others are taking in good feels for some reason and I can't seem to be at peace. I don't care in a way, but also why did people have to go in and sexually arouse people I look up to and so that I'm in trouble with them be? so that they don't feel like doing anything for me that they wanted to?
Some people are pretending to be leaders, when they ruin my life for no good reason.
So, I am just depressed and recording it. Not clinically depressed, a little dysfunctional due to every time I leave my room to use the restroom or go to the kitchen to get food to eat .. that I can get a negative message. So, I tend to fall behind on laundry, not get around to cooking, etc. It's also hard to think when people are watching you and don't like you. It makes you aroused negatively, like feeling like "you want to fight" but not really that, you know the way people feel in movies for some things you'd feel about, tho I don't mean it about these people, not like that. I mean, like being in public you feel you want to be hysterically upset at people who are trying to bother you tho you're just gonna sit there, so that you don't really think that but have a feeling of getting up and wanting to do something about it. Oh, this was about people watching me. I guess I feel like I wanted to do something about it. That might be one reason it's hard to think. There's also this thing where when I get a message I forget what I was thinking. It's pretty bad, I think.
Disclaimer: I am not sarcastic, so let me know if I should change anything.
I'm off to have my morning: breakfast, jog, shower.. a little computer, cleaning, and supposed to make chicken casserole. I am not feeling too tired, I suppose, tho I will be at night. I have somewhere to go tomorrow mid/late morning. and back in the afternoon, a clear week otherwise. Looking forward to Black Friday, whyever it's called that. Well, hungry and looking forward to a jog and nice shower! This is my schedule, at least when I have nothing in the morning, like doctor appointments. You have a happy Thanksgiving season! I hope I can seek help. Maybe I should tell my therapist. This post is put out there so I can get ^help^.
So, feel the pleasure you want, and don't blow your fuse and lose it all. I don't know enough about these things to tell more.
I'll try to remain calm. I hope I have a good jog amidst those cars, most people maybe at work. 👀
Well, okay, I guess bye for now?
Hope I don't find ^presents^ of negativity when I go about my day, like the ones I get from cars roaring by.
Okay, bye for now! out to have my day's beginning! or pre-beginning.