Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Disbelief About My Past Deeds

I guess I just can't believe I'd be in trouble and do things with keeping in mind it's about someone, like when I judge what to do, if something's okay or not or optional or not.  Like, I don't base my judgments on winning over other than simply is it an option, okay or not.  I did realize my mistake possibly.  For some reason, what I do is never enough.  I mean, realizing it was wrong was not enough.  I think I was worried.  I should have realized it was.. "unnecessary."

People are wondering if I should painfully feel submission to someone just because of something I did wrong, like read the wrong page in the paper or was too harsh on the dog.  Well, it was something else.  I don't really know what I need to do that is wrong right now.

They keep pushing me to feel submission to my dad, but I know it's just cuz I don't want to.  I am already older and an adult.  These things don't exist other than in perversion and pain.  It's a mistake.  In a way, I have nothing to do with anyone, like submission to parents.