You think I want something special? in whatever way.. I don't mind not getting something in sensible situations, but I don't want to be wrong. I don't "want want" in a way especially, but what did I do that everyone can tell me I always "blew it?" Like, if I wanted a friend, but something kept it from happening.. not sure what that'd be these days.. I just can't think of any reason not to have a friend and people in people's lives, like a competition or horse race.