February 9, 2015
Dear Dr. Phil Show,
Hi, this is Christina Barrett. I am 28 years old and live on SSI/disability for a medical disorder I don't believe I have, namely schizophrenia and possibly bipolar and autism (Aspergers.) I live with my parents still. I come from a mixed race family, half Chinese form mom and half white/Caucasian form dad.
My life is very miserable and has been for a long time. I think what really started it was when my dad came home from work when I was 11, I wasn't finished with my homework and was shy around him and thought it was funny I said, "Oh, no," until one day alone my mom got mad and finally said I should stop. I have grown up always been called shy, sweet, and smart. Now, people always act like there's something wrong with me and I feel bother me so I can't feel like I can move on from the emotional abuse. It's like I don't seem as European anymore and have gained weight from eating candy in college years ago, which I have lost and am pretty good in at least maintaining. So, people are judging me. I also started to get tired of doing schoolwork then, and it was like this sudden change did not matter. That's basically what happened, but I have a webpage set up that explains a lot of things that have happened to me: http://christinabarrett4.wix.com/drphil.
There are bigger reasons that people get mad at me. They just like to accuse me of things and discriminate on other things because they found out my mom's race. It's like I don't matter to anyone, anymore, and like my life doesn't matter. I was gonna move out, but my family said to stay. However, before and after they tell me to leave, as well, right then. It doesn't really happen. I argue my way out. The pills I take my mom said I have to take or else I have to leave. However, it makes me too tired to get a job and work. I told my psychiatrist and that I didn't have these mental disorders, but he doesn't care. I can see he just did it for my mom. I merely got mad and threw things around but not too much to where I'd break anything. I kept feeling irritated by my mom for some reason, maybe like I wanted her approval when I ran into her in the house. One of the most crazy things tho is when I cursed online at the noises people put in my room using little speakers around my room. People just don't accept me anymore, epsecially it seems sometimes my dad. I wanted to get a career and move out, but after 1 year in college at age 18 they said that I was too shy to major in Music Education and take Singing. I had chosen a scholarship at this supposedly to some prestigious university, Loyola University New Orleans. They told me to go on a long break, eventually. I just don't know where my future is. I want to start community college and graduate before I leave home. I am just worried the medicine will make me tired. I might be able to start in the summer and finish the next summer taking 2 or 3 courses per semester.
My main problem in writing is why people are all so mean to me, when I used to be considered shy, sweet, and smart. That's what everyone said. Now, with all the chaos in the world, things have really changed. It seems to be for the reasons I stated in the website I link and what I said here. I believe those are all attempts to get at me and I didn't really do anything bad.
Thank you so much.
Sincerely,
Christina Barrett