Why are people finding fault in me ever? Why do people protect me by making me feel or look unattractive?
Are you uncool among a crowd of people? Are people claiming you never reached out when you did and they don't seem to listen to you like you say anything at all ever?
Are people mad at you for the mistakes they made, themselves? with others? trying to unglorify you so-to-speak and get in your way cuz they got nothing to do from scratch, gotta use a host victim to spray the blood so-to-speak, LOL?? Like, they have nothing to do to ask for forgiveness to the people they're wronged so use you as a tool to insult you and say the other person's better but just by comparison? I've always tried to be nice to everyone and need to know in a civilized way if all my life is with anyone is like this, well with a lotta people who get close possibly it's seeming. I don't think it's so much that I did anything to them specifically. It's just that people want to see me be brought down and others raised up in some made up triumph over another being me. I get the underdogs as friends. Others bask in social glory by birthright. It is important that people get attention. But I'm "not cool" with people now, for some reason getting all the problems from others, like I did the bad things they were thought to have ended up doing now when I just haven't myself. I ain't putting up with prejudice and racism. I should know when it's time to go, true, but so would everyone if they matter. Know when to let others have some attention. I seem to have friends in the "darndest" places. My life needs to become more of a life, tho, other than sitting at home. I'm just like infamous with the popular. Like, people are making fun of me like I'm not perfect and like I think I am. They are in a strange mindset. Like that 1 person has to be at the top and if it ever is me I am to be brought down to be made fun of.
I never got to a point. I just feel I can't even change. I can't do some physical activity like a kid it feels. I'll be dedicating most of my money to singing lessons in order to sell a CD hopefully to make lots from the skills I have. I am more skilled at singing than people think and than others. I'm on a diet, finally, too. I didn't realize it had to be so darned strict. My dad says performers are like that.
Apologies for my messed up thinking in a relatively newly original topic. I just wanted to say that I'm not really thought to be cool with things is all. I don't get in the way of people getting attention. I hope I don't. Do I need some? Either that in a good way or to have my, like, time alone in good productivity and pleasure. Which will involve seeking out attention from one of a variety other source. Is the question, "How can I be cool, like in all ways?" What did I do to anyone? Like, growing up, my little cousin was treated like she was always in big trouble. People think my life was manufactured to get to the top and that it's mean, that my being good is to get attention I shouldn't get but for no good reason to think that. Probably racism and plain old jealousy and prejudice. People give me attention, and I deal with my life, disgusted at others for not making things work out right, which seems to be entering my life. Why should I be in trouble for people getting upset at others and people thinking I was selfish to think I was good and deserved anything for being good? Etc.. That makes no sense. It's like they don't want you to show off or something or they are goofs who don't work hard nor act normally. I mean no offense to anyone in particular. I hope not.. that's not nice to do. You talk like about people in general.
Okay, for now I hope that's okay, setting the fertilizer of a topic.
It might not seem right to talk about my relatives, but I don't mean to like share secrets they would have. Maybe, what I said wasn't perfect, tho. Sorry if that comes up that way. You could tell me on my Facebook. Thanks! And thanks for reading! It wasn't such a big topic, but as you right, things get solved and are interesting, like a book.