Problem Children

Tim Burton's been awfully mean and unrelinquishing.

Also, I'm getting like "the most" shoved at me "to make sure" of some stupid message.  It really seems to spark in some memory I dislike.  I don't see why I'm good and all of a sudden people creep up behind me like a showoff.  Coming late to the party?  I mean you no harm.  I know ya'll have fetishes.  Wow, this is crap.  Look at all the stuff I'm bringing up.  What happened was that I was at Mary Poppins, and the lady in front of me was being mean and disgusting and I'm guessing someone planted her there.  I thought of her having like a nice forehead and then having squares in the middle but not really but just an idea for everyone else.  I'm getting all these retarded taunts.  Like leave me alone.  I'm white.  I know you're treating me like a nigger.  You're not gonna answer!

Facebook Post

http://www.facebook.com/ginny.kopf

Okay-

I just mean that no one else is talking to you and wasting time, I mean, I'm sure you have time.

I don't really know what you mean about a suggestion on my blog. I was just suggesting that a good field trip would be to Saint Augustine, the nation's oldest continuing city, in NE FL, just under Jacksonville. Other than visiting a theatre, it would be the best place. Since you're probably the best worker|employee at Disney, I'm sure that's the most sought after place of worship. I think I almost took a trip there with Valencia when I was 20. Saint Augustine. It's just that it was the kind of thing Orlando is interested in.

Well, I don't like to be interrupted, as far as if people posted to me every day on like some site. No one has directly spoken much with me. I would just probably hash out what's gone on in my head and my experiences. I usually analyze with what I can muster and have in the back of my memory the assurance or approval or proof that I have something to say and have more than 1 trick up my sleeve. I find the things I find out are about feelings. I pretty much find younger people to not have that much meat|rhythm. Older people don't e-mail much.

Facebook doesn't show all your posts to the public, just picks random posts from the past. The people I was interested in before apparently aren't good people. They said my impression was bad, and they've done this, before. I really don't get it because I'm a good person. I've just gotten mad, lately.

Yes, people read my blog, but if I put a counter on it it would load slowly. I put up a forum where the public can comment but no luck. I just have to organize it so I can keep track of what's interesting. You can't read all the comments in a list, it disappears, even on the reader apps I saw. Everyone's still on IMDb or maybe Facebook.

I don't have friends. I changed my accounts and we've stopped talking altogether. I used to talk to some of them more than they talked to me. Popular people don't notice me, for some reason, but are nice to me, so I don't get it.

BTW, I think I almost broke my ankle seeing "Mary Poppins," and I wouldn't have been able to do the homework but still have a day and caught up on sleep. My printers stopped working, and we're running out of money, I guess. Your homework sounded easy. I'll have to pull it out soon, feeling kinda hungry because of my ankle. It relaxed me, though, so I'm glad it happened, was funny. Actually, hitting a curb made it hurt a lot, and I did the same thing to the other 1 except on a curb and not stairs to the seat in the back row. Don't worry, though, though it did hurt a lot and stressed me out it doesn't hurt now so much, thought it'd take a week or a few days to die down though it wasn't too much a surprise for some reason. When I moved here, I wasn't getting the right|enough food like before. I was in my room all day online not feeling like going out and benefited from being alone probably. Should have gotten a refrigerator and microwave in the garage when we moved out of the 2nd apartment since the hurricane where we were before. So, I guess I fell and my ankle felt kinda rubbery but still usually I don't get hurt when these things happen. I finally did some core workouts recently, have done yoga in the far past. Guess it takes awhile to reap the benefits. It was probably too late and I had to take a break and just kept doing other things, taking walks, sleeping. At least, I'll be enrolled in weight training instead of tennis since it was too late. So, since I'm walking around fine I can do the homework when I relax at Valencia if for some reason I can't do it tomorrow.

Whoops, another long post, but you know it's better to be able to say more in less time. Only smart people who can go to college can do that. I don't mean anyone is, like, totally hopeless.

Ginny - I don't really understand why Facebook makes changes that everyone thinks is stupid and then waits and makes another change later rather than reaching all their goals at once, like making Facebook formattable like Blogger is and making it so it works out in public by option.

Okay, I'll keep blogging, maybe think of things to help me with this class. I post about it on my blog and I guess you don't have a site where I can post it to you. You know, like the fun side, the emotions, some of the traditional stuff maybe. I'll try not to double post too much, but if other people would post I'm sure it wouldn't matter. So, not sure what to do. Guess just make it look like it's your site more and wait for others to respond. Seems like I posted a lot under this topic. Have a good day at school tomorrow, it's already late, I have another day and have to eat more for my ankle but caught up on rest.

Problem

Yesterday, when I got back the 1st time, there was a fat lady with a skinny head in front, fluffy dyed hair.  She was tilting her head sarcastically because I don't think I should tell people I missed "Supercalifragilisticexpalidocious."  You know, every time.  I could hear it loud and clear from the stalls.  It had just ended, so I saw them lined up.  I was annoyed because there's no way I could sit there and not have an insulting thought come to my mind hit hard.  It's just what happens.  I really don't want to do that, remember???  So, she tilted her head and made me think of my mom's nose being stupidly smooth like a slide like a triangle!  Oh no, that's not okay.  I be that thought is floating above her head.  And then, her neck popped and I think it still freaks my mom out.  I felt my mom doing something with her nose, too, and I'm not sure what happened now.  It doesn't seem okay, to me.  The problem is she's so sorry for other people and thinks you should make a big deal out of stuff like this, when it's not really what you're supposed to pay attention to.  I don't want to say this every time much less have to remember nor that I will.  I won't.  I mean, that's that.  You won't say it every time you list what plays or musicals you've seen.

At the Show, Yesterday

Actually, the 1st time I got up was to put water in my left eye after "Feed the Birds."  I thought it would be good if I were in that section.  When we clapped, for some reason I clapped louder when she came out.

Dreams

It's hard to remember my 1st dream.  Oh, yes, I thought my old choir director, Mrs. Campo, was murdered.  It was my fault, somehow, I guess because I'm indian.  So, I found her, and she was carrying me quite a lot with my hurt ankle.  It was interesting how I connected.  Before, Ellen DeGeneres was carrying me with my hurt ankle and I was thinking about being rubbed.  There was another dream where I was trying to **********.  My dad's youngest sister and little girl cousin, the aunt told me to be more comfortable in the bathroom.  When I went in the bathtub, I looked from behind the curtains and the light was on and she had come in then left.  The next dream, I was on a long long walking bridge, strong, like a dream.  I remember there were 3 boys, 1 maybe his name started with a Z.  1 was Tim Burton's son.  I talked to him, and he was really nice and cute.  He was small with dark hair.  I was with several adults.  I know Helena Bonham Carter was there, and she was taller than me by several inches and more rotund and healthy.  I got up thinking I wanted to put how her round, chubby daughter squaked as she picked her up.  After awhile, I said she was the most European person here and went up to her and maybe or probably started to put my arm around her.  I guess she was putting her arm around me and stuff for a long time, with my hurt ankle, which isn't really hurt now, and in different ways.  For some reason, I was thinking of old movies like Singing in the Rain or An American in Paris, which I thought of seeing Mary Poppins yesterday.  Eventually, she picked me up because of my ankle, for a long time.  I made a strong connection with her dad being all English and then with the rest of her race being Spanish and Jewish.  I'm not sure what was most memorable.  I guess my hurt ankle and seeing her as most European.  I did see maybe an all English blonde with slick hair, and I guess for some reason it didn't matter to me.  ***  So, I guess you can imagine how it was.  I don't remember all the details.  I guess I felt kinda knocked out a bit but nothing really bad, like I went in and wasn't afraid to process things.  Before, I think I felt a bit worn and unable to experience.  This time, I was kinda not fully developed, still.  When I was looking to see if she was murdered, it was very depressing and something I had to accept.  I was worried that it had to do with me not stopping it and causing it.  It was sorta a dark, trashy, more sharp slum area, more orangey and like with slits of other things.  The bridge was big, like an old dream, and weighted down, quite a lot, though it didn't seem to affect me as much as it could, like I was dead in a way partly.  It was a thick bridge.  We were sitting on the side.  There were like maybe 3 wires and a window with cement on the outside.  It was very strong, like a building or street, very thick, seemed so stable but uh-oh not really invincible.  So, Helena Bonham Carter was wearing a dress, which was maybe was like brownish with certain colors like orange or blue or green.  So, Helena Bonham Carter was saying "David" because her dad is all English a few times.  Also, I went in the bathroom to lock the door.  I can't even close my garage door because of a chord in the way.  I guess with the choir director we were down in a low area that was kinda yellowy-orangey-maybe gray.  I had told someone about a Cathedral that seemed good but not the best, you know 1 of 3.

Handle on Things

So, people born before me, like in the 70s, think they have more a handle on things like Mary Poppins but don't give their kids that same world thinking they "did 1." that they found something that was unnecessary and never bothered going into anything, at all, like the children in the, like, mid 60s.

Dream

I was lying down and my mom told me to wake up to drink some tea, though I didn't want to very much.  She had a larger glass and a smaller one I almost finished.  Rather, it was powder.  That lady on Facebook, Ginny, was outside the door.  Then, my dad was there by an old computer.  He was mad and drawling about what I wanted to do and probably asked me something, yes, that I forgot now.  He said to join him for lunch.  I think he was wondering if I wanted to be carried or like have a relationship with certain someone.  I was gonna go out to eat and have a dragon with a small, circular mouth accompany me, like a purple, wet dragon, and it did, kinda like a big snake.  It was nice.  It turned out to be someone I know, well, my cousin.  Then, her mom was there, turned out to be the older sister, who is shorter.  Then, it was the mom, and I sized myself up to be her size and said I was bigger than them all.  The mom was there, too, my grandma.  Then, I left again.  I think 1st I saw a version of 2 small kids from Mary Poppins, and I got the rhythm I saw, which was like a combination of German and Dutch but English and was complex and sick a bit.  They realized I knew it because I wasn't American and then that my mom had European heritage, for so long in ancestry.  Then, I was on like a building, a slim portion, like a chimney top place, like a ship with some boys, then they realized it was because I was white, had a Caucasian American dad.  Then, I think, there were 3 dragons to eat us 3 creatures.  1st, 1 ate 1 slimy creature.  It spit out like a shark tooth.  It finally ate another.  The 1st was small and kinda round.  Then, it chased me.  I had indicated to run.  I easily glided a cro ss a pool that was like a video game from 1998 that came with the computer, an easy one.  I was under a canopy.  Oh, I forgot, I went on a ride that was voiced by Ellen DeGeneres, a movie, but we just saw the dazzle eyes, the swirls, in black and white, all over, like a friendly ride, kinda cheap-seeming but actually quite elaborate.  My dad was there.  So, I got behind his girl and held onto her sash, like a Dr. Suess movie girl, kinda thin, like Beauty and the Beast.  I remember the 1st scene was long, asking me what I wanted and waking me up and having me walk around a large, somewhat dirty but interestingly furnaced hotel room, kinda orange with a big black window on the side.  So, anyway, the creature got me and finally I said to "eat someone else."  It's stomach, a section gooily crackered open and a ball came out under it and was reaching me, stickling, and I woke up, realizing I guess it wasn't gonna eat me, startled some people, and thought of Disney because it's on my blog.  Something else I was gonna say, ah yes, I was going around and saw some kids.  I realized I did Music Education and was full of something.

So, the kids were loudly rasping "Jolly Holiday" in a weird form that seemed like a combination of English Dutch and German Dutch, which I never thought of, though they were English, supposedly.  They were holding like dark brooms with bristles.  The girl was wearing the orange.  I only noticed her mostly, but she was more European and physical.

Right now, I feel like the monster that was going to eat me, my lips sticking out a lot and kinda thick seeming from the inside.  Also, I had 2 black therapists walk with me and asked if I wanted to go to Disney.  They made it seem like an adventure.  I said well I don't have any money, and they never really wanted to.  1 was about my age, maybe a month older or younger.  The other was an adult with a girl in modeling.  I've had other counselors here because of the mental hospital.  The whole time, I didn't think about Disney, but I was at it, so I guess yea I mean I thought about it in that way.

I was trying to think of something, like someone carrying me, in the bed, and I was woken up and had to think of something more materialistic but didn't.  My dad was giving me "new rules."  Just to see him at lunch I think.  He said I'd do something like weave poofy, dark things all day and then come home, but I realized I'd be too tired, even if all I did was sleep in the evening, 6-6 about?  I was feeling like kinda gooey from the fat, having had bacon each morning, about 5 pieces not cooked much, in a microwave.  My brother was cooking that before we saw The Hobbit for a long time, the kind I didn't like, the thick bacon.  I decided I liked what I'd been having, the maple bacon.  I've been having a pack of 2 frozen deep dish personal pan pepperoni pizzas like 3 times in 2 days spread out.  Why?  Because I want to eat fancy food and my dad didn't get it so I hope we go soon.  I guess I'm weaning from my previous diet.  For awhile, I was having fancy so - wait, in my dream, the monsters were in like a cartoony moat with probably triangular waves elicited - so bad soup in a can I learned to dislike, having it a lot, like before when I wanted to get like turkey, potatos, etc., and eat it alone.  So, I had the soup with sauced breaded frozen chicken, Tysons, which I know isn't really healthy, for some reason, the breading and something in the sauce and probably something else.  With Triscuits.  I had those a lot in college with cheese.  Now, I'm having cheese well crackers with spread or sticks with cheese but am liking the spread cheese better, just want some without peanut butter, which I had in the mental hospital.  Also, there's cheddar crackers with peanut butter.  When I went to the mental hospital in New Orleans, I learned to like grits, and that's what I've been having with bacon.

So, I just got up and noticed I was more European, from eating the fatty food and having more tendongs going to the floor.