Racism

Tim Burton only likes Helena Bonham Carter and Bella Thorne cuz they're not Chinese.

It's racist to them.  I wish I knew more about them racially.  So what if it's hot?  Middle Easterners are hot.  No problems, but still, I noticed..

"Times Change, People Don't"

Some people think I didn't care about popularity wishes in people.  People want to all count me out.  They pick people who have some thing in common and then only condone me on the category of that point.  I don't think it's right to be an animal about who gets to be touched.  I don't like how things are fabricated these days.  I have a disposition about where things are more affable.  It seems to have changed after the popularity of wishing you knew Tim Burton.  It's funny to see Helena Bonham Carter defend him but supposedly from 1 person, using that 1 person, and that 1 person is me, to get away with getting to be with and study him.  Yes, she does have 2 kids with him, 1 before Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) and 1 after even Sweeney Todd (2007,) a boy and a girl.  I don't think because you live/d in California that you have to be piecey.  It must be something they've done.  It's about big guys who eat and go out and compliment pretty beach babes, feeding the kids and having a "real" life, whatever that means to them.

Morally compared to others Ellen thinks I'm trash (sometimes no.)

I didn't like the Oscars last year.  Think they won't be good anymore.  Ellen is consciencious like shy about thinking she's the prettiest one.  I was excited today taking a walk wanting to look to see if she Tweeted yet.  Like, the Oscars didn't seem as big.  It was just about Ellen being consciencious insofar as she has cute hair and looks.  She wasn't very open and "there" for you.  I am sad and wish she had more fun.  Maybe, it wasn't a good time.  :(  It seems something could have been made right, but I don't know what it is.  Why won't the Oscars be good?  It was all about the sarcasm of someone though nice.. Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton, who split up being friends conveniently now.  It was about the liking of their young daughter.  It's like that aspect of people, what they think of them, ate everything up, the way the craze over Charlie and the Chocolate Factory did the world.  You'd point fingers at people my age, but it's the younger ones that abused that opportunity.  It's the opportunity to not take it over like they're the only ones who deserve that kind of stuff, even if we do it in our own version!

8 Years

Ginny is fat, and most fat people are agreeable yet uninteresting.  I'm not sure if I ever had a successful relationship with any unhealthy person.  I don't just want a skinny, dorky friend.  She also thinks she has a more attractive background and that that's dirt.  Maybe, she's just a sorry case.  Her mom made her attractive so she would be hygienic.  I don't take for granted what my mom did for me.  You can't just assume it's the bastard cause that morale ain't so.  It was only about crazy, drunk fathers.  My dad is tacky because he ain't skinny, and he don't work out, no more.  Also, kids have to have traits from each parent.  I needed to work out, but it seemed like I'd done too much gymnastics, not much good in way of dance, I guess.  I mean, there's not necessarily like a certain option.  I was struggling between ballet and jazz/lyrical.  Now, it seems to not help, nothing I do.  I sit around at home, people just keep thinking my dad is gonna hurt them, send them a hurtful message.  Just think about how Tim Burton and Johnny Depp changed the world.  I remember it was the people, but Tim Burton is crass.  He was kind unrelenting to people who wanted to be actors rather than not be actors.  I wouldn't accept it.  Why should he have a daughter, at all?  No one gives a fuck, fuck fuck fuck like a duck.  You, like Ginny, is just waiting for the perfect person to come around and keep barking at me for seeming too atypical for having a mixed European father with typical family names and a Chinese mom who is typically attractive from her younger age..  That proves Tim Burton lied that he's not really holding out for a good reason but for selfish reasons.  I guess that's why I chose Johnny Depp and then found he depended on Tim Burton but that Tim Burton pretty much didn't feel good about his not being able to act.  I mean, my mom and I could get him in shape, but he's with "stupe-id" He~le~na Bonham Carter.  I was getting better.  He just needs people to talk to.  Sit at a computer and find someone to talk to on a message forum.  Start walking and jogging, do the core workouts and weights for the health of yur blessed arms.  It's your fault for not being a total person.  Lazy people from California.  Go suck a fish corpse.  Talk to people, or you'll get fat and die, like the old days.  Stop getting high on artificial attention.  I never get any attention.  It's all hidden traps.  You're just gonna say, hug your dad.  What about my mom?  I didn't say I wanted to hug Tim Burton.  I just kinda deal with it but can hug other people.  I mean, what would happen?  I would just sorta lose my tease, like I did with my dad.  I just wanted a nice relationship.  I guess it was special to him.  I'm not really gonna hug Ginny.  I just want to set her straight, to understand she's crap, she acts like she has some like nonexistent program in Orlando because it's Disney.  You have to go completely into something, you can't get too much good attention like of fate thinking coincidences are miracles.  You know, she doesn't use Facebook much.  I don't know how most people know her.  They might look up things in Orlando.  You know, people in Theater in places like New Orleans.  People wouldn't post to her much.  It's funny, I spent a lot of time bettering myself and kinda have a lot to spray.  I guess I'm not in a certain mood.  I mean, it just seems like things used to be different, like no matter what I did.  If there's something wrong, it's Orlando's fault, crappy Orlando.  It's not like, I'm just there and no one can do anything with me.  What the hell is that?  Am I losing memory?  Why aren't things getting better?  I'm still in the program.  If you're not good enough, then leave me alone.  People who are good are never supposed to turn anyone down and not hear what they have to say, like Gahndi.  You know, I don't care what you think about me having a dad from Pennsylvania.  I know you just care about the Pennsylvania Dutch.  Why not knock out other states while you're at it, like Delaware?  I mean, I had a fun friend family from there.  You know, Ginny, I don't give a shit what these so-called "Floridians" think.  Florida is a beach state.  It is not the only place you can be modern.  Say what you will, that's what they think.  Why do you even feed the birds?  Don't you like me?  I just want to find out what happened, why you are just being mean because of Tim Burton and why people are ignoring me online but later on people won't.  That's the only way to communicate, people live online.  Why not accept that I mean no ill will to anyone.  I just want to do my homework and have a good time.  Having a good time is not illegal.  Why is everyone like gawking over Ginny and feeling sorry for her teaching the children who believe in shit?  I mean, I am not that kind of person.  That's all you've thought of while I've been submitting myself to this.  I just want a good time.  I want to see people!  Is that so hard to ask?  I don't even know if I want to be famous.  I want to meet famous people, though.  I'm lonely, no one wants to approach me nor admit I seem, like, popular.  You all are denying me that for 8 years!

No Handle on Youngsters

Helena Bonham Carter shouldn't be able to think she has a handle on us because she's older.  :|

Y

OH MY MUTHERFUCKIN GOD TIM BURTON WHY YOU MAKE SUCH A BIG DEAL ABOUT HELENA BONHAM CARTER

Dream

It's hard to remember the 2nd clearly, but the 1st I was like forlorn and wanted to meet someone, like it was Ginny.  So, I guess I wanted affection or something, so the person picked me up for a long, long time, and I didn't feel too big, for some reason.  I felt pretty good but not totally, a bit like Kate Bush and Helena Bonham Carter.  So, she was sitting on a stool in the front corner away from the door, and it was kinda faded and orangy, and like every once in awhile or every like other second or moment it felt she'd jerk me like she always was aware of how I was feeling.  Anyway, I awoke feeling good and cozy, like in the dream.

The 2nd dream was kinda creepy.  I know I was looking for a bathroom but couldn't go, even was sitting there where others could see me and it was normal for us.  There were like fancy, dainty sorta elongated covers plastered in rectangles that were like dark gray in a big dark grey sorta cozy room that seemed kinda wet and not like smelly.  It was kinda a dangerous dream I don't remember.  :{  I keep waking up to bossy-sounding clicks that erase more insignificant dreams.  Oh, put a sock in it.  WTF you think you are?  Hey, what was that?  Look, I want my life, you.

Designated Spokesperson

Why does Helena Bonham Carter feel she has to be a designated spokesperson?  She's kinda dumb or that either or impossible might be the other term that I might I dubbed it.  :/

Inhuman! 30

I found that maybe I was inhuman, but I thought of Europeans thinking the Chinese were not white and then having hands like black people.  Jews do, too.  Helena Bonham Carter had interesting hands and is actually part Spanish, as well as Spanish Jew.

Thoughts

I think there's like a smudge or scratch in my glass I saw before.

So, I'm not gonna act like me getting uppity is a mistake "because I'm not white" BECAUSE I AM MORE WHITER THAN YOU.

Why is it really just okay if you say something bad if it's to flip off another idea?  LOOK I DON'T CARE.

Okay, I was in bed.  I need to make like a long scarf and attack a stuffed animal at the end.  Oh ...  So, I was in bed and trying to feel and had to connect myself to experiences and secret messages, and they were plentiful with stops, too.  I went to bed, and I must have had an okay sleep.  I woke up about 14 hours later (went to bed after I went home and changed and went to the bathroom of course) and my dad was home eating his lunch.  I felt bothered, maybe should not have.  I broke down because I couldn't feel like before, and it rather upsets me when bozos do this or whatever.  So, I looked really pretty
hen I woke up.  I took a picture and recorded myself singing a theater song before.  Anyway, so, I went to bed finally, a bit more easily and had a bad dream of a fat woman, supposedly Ginny Kopf, not realizing all the while she's much fatter, like my therapist, a small|part Italian I know from Miami, supposedly, rather plain.  (Sounds suspicious for Orlando.)  I don't know why, but I got a therapist after I started cursing on my blog, probably would get 1 anyway I just realized, which doesn't really tell me anything.  I mean, I still got 1, and the experience, while good, seemed to have a negative effect, though I still actually want to see her if I'm not too tired.  I mean, if my classes aren't dropped I can still sleep all day since weight training is cancelled.  Not sure if weight training at that time was a good idea, but it's in the morning.  I was gonna do homework all day but realized I'm sick.  I only have classes twice a week.  So, yea, I kept trying to literally ending up fantasizing that this fat woman with supposedly California heritage like with Helena Bonham Carter's dad being English affecting me while I was imagining that she wanted to carry me for some reason, in ways to be nice but never really "doing it."  It was sorta tacky.  Anyway, so I found my brother was home somehow eventually, sorta a dark scene like a TV and microwave, small, neat maybe Orlando-style house.  He was watching TV, maybe getting secret popcorn, maybe actually had video games rather than PC games.  So, I crept to a back porch, which I guess ... oh, there was a like ridge but no fence like "our old house" had.  I saw from before too a house with a dark blue wall and a TV and a kinda like Chinese-hyped up boy in it I couldn't see, probably thinking or like saying "you'll be sorry."  So, then I heard something about "feet" but just got the message, didn't hear anything.  I saw above me a spectre, a large white bird with maybe yellow tips and a yellow crest!  I wanted it to come and it came in sync.  I held it.  At college, I was the only 1 who picked up the chinchilla, and the leash choked it as I brought it to me.  "I choked the chinchilla."  So, like it's claws were a great stress and it's beak could also stressfully snap me.  Somehow, I guess it turned into a porch and I locked it out and didn't realize what it was but was like stapling a tent opening together so it wouldn't escape.  My mom got a little bird cage, it it was depressingly small and it about squeezed out.  We tried to pour it into the dog cage, but it seemed it would get out.  I think the lady came back, and then I felt stimulated like what California supposedly does and I supposedly don't.  So, I woke up looking like a nigger with a tight face but round eyes.  I blame my dad.  I said I was so upset.  Yesterday, I got upset when the weight class didn't start until February, thought my parents did it.  Guess it's a Valencia precaution but you know not really.  That's what bothers me.  So, I pretty much let out and felt ill toward my dad.  I was uppity with the people I spoke with.  I attacked a black, fat lady for lying to me.  I said okay to the dean for the rules she spouted but asked for proof.  Also, my mom didn't text me back about the classes, so I don't know what she did.  I forgot to tell her I'm not allowed to stay in the classes I don't pay for.  So, if I stay, I won't be in Voice for the Actor.  Also, I counted recently and came to the realization it'd be an issue that I'd be exactly ½ the teacher's age as the semester ends.  Didn't bother counting and don't know her birth year but that unless she graduated early it's 1958.  Also, I don't care what my dad thinks about his mom, that he has to punish me "for being a nigger" like thems.  There's nothing wrong with being assertive and mad when someone attacks you.  What if they didn't?  Well, er, then no one could be mad like them.  That's that.  And, no, I'm not a nigger to say that means I think that what I do in relation to my mom doesn't matter because other people think I don't matter and that I shouldn't think I do.  That's just bs of them saying maybe if something is harmful it's strict.  I said that before I think that means|= mental disease.  So, yes, the er dream was really bad and long.  I was relieved to wake up and find that it wasn't Ginny Kopf but in a way it seems like the people we've been with matter.  Oh, also, my dad called my mom a nigger but not literally because of the STUPID "baby jew" thing, what an idiot, what a worthless piece of shit.  He's just a stupid pos.  He's just going for "the most."  Why is he even talking to me?  He must be stupid.  I don't have to have anything to do with his fat kind of ***.  Hey, look, I got mad, again, and it's also something I just addressed.  It's not the best idea, but I don't believe curse words are bad.  SO GO TO HELL NIGGA.  ':0  I don't try to offend people, but some people are just offensive creatures.  That doesn't really need to pertain to "any solid thing" I just did because I'm not from California.  I just realized L.A. is tacky.  I don't like N.Y.C.  It's just niggers.  I just realized that people think that ... wait I got another insulting message about someone I care about.  YOU DON'T MATTER.  YOU'RE A MISTAKE.  I realized I know that people calculate the wrong things and assume I'm wrong.  I realized people think I don't matter, though I know in the end they think so.  They think that I'm just not good enough.  I think they're wrong, and I don't believe in pretending.  That idea had some punch but time to eat nigger.  Oh and I guess I just got mad about protecting someone.  Um, I was mad because it's not funny.  It seems everyone matters.  Don't worry, I still care.  About your logic.  But I don't like the negative idea!  WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM YOU NIGGER.  You're the 1 who thinks cursing is exciting.  I also realized that Nell Burton has to have the fantasies of Nell Burton, but I don't agree because Tim Burton said it and he doesn't have to and he's a nigger to me already.  :p  Because he's torturing his daughter.

Dreams

It's hard to remember my 1st dream.  Oh, yes, I thought my old choir director, Mrs. Campo, was murdered.  It was my fault, somehow, I guess because I'm indian.  So, I found her, and she was carrying me quite a lot with my hurt ankle.  It was interesting how I connected.  Before, Ellen DeGeneres was carrying me with my hurt ankle and I was thinking about being rubbed.  There was another dream where I was trying to **********.  My dad's youngest sister and little girl cousin, the aunt told me to be more comfortable in the bathroom.  When I went in the bathtub, I looked from behind the curtains and the light was on and she had come in then left.  The next dream, I was on a long long walking bridge, strong, like a dream.  I remember there were 3 boys, 1 maybe his name started with a Z.  1 was Tim Burton's son.  I talked to him, and he was really nice and cute.  He was small with dark hair.  I was with several adults.  I know Helena Bonham Carter was there, and she was taller than me by several inches and more rotund and healthy.  I got up thinking I wanted to put how her round, chubby daughter squaked as she picked her up.  After awhile, I said she was the most European person here and went up to her and maybe or probably started to put my arm around her.  I guess she was putting her arm around me and stuff for a long time, with my hurt ankle, which isn't really hurt now, and in different ways.  For some reason, I was thinking of old movies like Singing in the Rain or An American in Paris, which I thought of seeing Mary Poppins yesterday.  Eventually, she picked me up because of my ankle, for a long time.  I made a strong connection with her dad being all English and then with the rest of her race being Spanish and Jewish.  I'm not sure what was most memorable.  I guess my hurt ankle and seeing her as most European.  I did see maybe an all English blonde with slick hair, and I guess for some reason it didn't matter to me.  ***  So, I guess you can imagine how it was.  I don't remember all the details.  I guess I felt kinda knocked out a bit but nothing really bad, like I went in and wasn't afraid to process things.  Before, I think I felt a bit worn and unable to experience.  This time, I was kinda not fully developed, still.  When I was looking to see if she was murdered, it was very depressing and something I had to accept.  I was worried that it had to do with me not stopping it and causing it.  It was sorta a dark, trashy, more sharp slum area, more orangey and like with slits of other things.  The bridge was big, like an old dream, and weighted down, quite a lot, though it didn't seem to affect me as much as it could, like I was dead in a way partly.  It was a thick bridge.  We were sitting on the side.  There were like maybe 3 wires and a window with cement on the outside.  It was very strong, like a building or street, very thick, seemed so stable but uh-oh not really invincible.  So, Helena Bonham Carter was wearing a dress, which was maybe was like brownish with certain colors like orange or blue or green.  So, Helena Bonham Carter was saying "David" because her dad is all English a few times.  Also, I went in the bathroom to lock the door.  I can't even close my garage door because of a chord in the way.  I guess with the choir director we were down in a low area that was kinda yellowy-orangey-maybe gray.  I had told someone about a Cathedral that seemed good but not the best, you know 1 of 3.

Problems

So, Helena Bonham Carter is a big complainer and thinks other people who complain should be hurt.

So, I need help.  At CVS, a black lady sorta was rumbling through some things and made my left boy sack feel for once like sorta pieced apart with an outline.  She acted like she could hurt me but no one else, like other people just keep going to cover, like they're hurting themselves for being mean but trying hard.  I don't believe in this.

Also, there's this boy at Orlando Ballet who looks kinda like how I pictured my son, but I am not sure if I'd really want my son to only be like that.  He was really short and seemed like a pimple but was really cute with golden brown fluffy straight smooth hair, you know, looked English.  He had the ballet so down and had so many parts, A Midsummer Night's Dream.

Being Perfect

So, anything a Late Boom girl says is right.

What do you think of this girl who is probably all English: link.  It seems like it's best not to mix with other Europeans.  I know Órla Fallon's last name was Carron and is French from Normandy not the Anglo-Normans, which seem to be what pervade Ireland, though no one talks about it.  The Anglo-Normans are Norwegian and maybe other Nordic countries.  I know in the U.S., I met a French blonde married to someone with a German last name.  She was so smart but didn't seem to think so.  I had a drama teacher from New Orleans with a French last name.  My 1st drama teacher I found is from where Ellen DeGeneres is from.  I met 2 other people from New Orleans who might have some very white ancestry who I liked, though 1 is gay and looks sick now.

I'm curious, so Tim Burton made England popular, but Helena Bonham Carter seems to admit she grew up with her mom, whose mom is Jewish and whose dad is Spanish and Jewish.  It's just people who have all 1 European ethnicity have so much to offer.  You know Kate Bush?  She's ½ English ½ Irish.  She had really nice parents.  She seemed more interested in modern culture and could fit in in England but isn't like a hose of bossiness.  She isn't the same, now.  She got really big, and people would think "that's something Christina likes."

Well, Ellen DeGeneres's mom's last name is Jewish, so maybe Tim Burton wants his kids Jewish.  Maybe, he uses them as a tool.  Hey, aren't I used as a tool to not look that good because my dad is old and my mom isn't technically just "white?"  People think all my accomplishments are just me being spoiled.  Did you know I grew up thinking the opposite, like that I did things I was supposed to and everyone else came from lazy, racist families?

Problem

Tim Burton, you can't rub in to the world that Helena Bonham Carter is pretty and my mom is ugly.  Why don't you like leave me alone in that light?

Also, why do you think the world stops because of you?

Why are you so like backing away like every little thing will hurt you?

I thought you stood for something.  You didn't do shit.

Problem

I don't think my mom wants to be in glasses at her age.  I'm not sure what her problem is with Tim Burton.  Helena Bonham Carter has money so probably doesn't need them..  It was something to do I know with that he apparently did art and wanted to say that like everyone else has to do something that's like worse than him and then he depended on his swimming maybe to give him the artistic stamina.  Hm, I did that with singing in college, I know, and probably it enhanced my art.  I did gymnastics hand in hand as a kid.  I got glasses at 9, and I blame the kids at school.  Also, I suddenly had lots to copy from the board that year, so I blame that, too.  Too bad that was so far my favorite teacher.

Got Mad

So, I was thinking wow like meeting Tim Burton it's like over for my mom.  I finally reach some way I wish I was but not exactly, like I was going through a change, filling out a different extreme.  I just wanted the European features in my background.  No one encouraged this.  So, I lost my personality at 11, maybe by earlier 1998.  I typed 2008, at 1st.  It's funny that's when computers came out.  I think it was also when I found I was moving to the New Orleans area.  That's kinda sick, supposedly someone gave me my personality.  Apparently, I just took from what others liked to do around me.  I mean, I found that quitting gymnastics I was able to be less like unfeeling-looking, though I'm sure the gymnastics is what gave me my strength.  I guess my mom seems to want me to not be attractive so I'll be accepted as modest, but no one believes that, at all, and even seem to expect more effort from me.  Also, my dad seems to have used to say he denied he'd hurt me for it, but I find this fact to be untrue.  They're lying to me and making me believe weird things, like my life became an experiment and that's actually why we moved or maybe why the whole bank of Florida closed.  If that's why, I mean what does that mean, so what?  Also, my brother wasn't as cool and my parents were like no comment.  For some reason, people started to make fun of him.  I know he took a picture of me where only like some more than ½ of me was showing.  I mean, I guess that's okay, but then he acted like he was sad for me that we weren't moving to the city.  I think my parents were just overbearing of that, like I was bad to want to have fun, like I had an attitude that would affect others.  Also, you're not supposed to make me uncomfortable with my dad because your dad ... "happens to be" Tim Burton.  OH MY GOD!  ^0^  Can you believe that?  And, tell me, who's your mom, your supposed blood mom???

Liking Good Quality

So, Tim Burton likes my mom and someone shitty like Helena Bonham Carter.  Oh, she used to be bad and now is pretending to discipline others.  I got along with her, but I'm getting bad messages.  I just said shitty because it's cute and I'm not an Italian nigger.  HA!  What else?  So, yea, he doesn't mind Jewish shit and wants the attractive Asians.  Germans care about Asian shit.

Other People..

So, Helena Bonham Carter wants other Asians to have Indonesian heritage and not me.

Your Own Cultures

What do you think of people following your culture in a mean way.  That's what Tim Burton, Ellen DeGeneres, and Nell Burton do.

How can you deny that Tim Burton has become mean and is simply racist and supposedly shit otherwise and just spoils Generation YZ?  HEY THAT'S LIKE WORSE THAN LIKE HELL.  What happened to "the late 1990s, too?"

Psychiatric Understanding..

Why is Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter preaching me bullshit of stuff I already know better than them?  They don't even follow the rules of not hurting others psychiatrically.  They don't even give a bullcrap.