It's not because others get what I deserve, not specifically, but I feel watched in weird ways and manipulated and because you're desperate no one cares to fight you.
I can't do anything without feeling restrained from relaxing.
Why are other people getting treated better? It seems like comparable desperation, things that used to not matter..matter. Things that matter to me..don't.
People are so annoying around me, and apparently I'm not saying who here now. It's a collection of parts of what others do.
I don't need to live in a buzzed fence. I keep getting threatened about interests and feeling relaxed myself. I can't relax! I'd use that time to do stuff I wanna think.
Why doesn't anyone care about me sometimes? I see other people getting what they want. They have down time and come out triumphant and maybe special.
I feel I'm being fought still for cursing. Not sure what else I should say. But it's me and my life. My life is so downsized. I'm tired of looking for the hints. I'm getting mad. Anyone can help me? I don't want anything to happen, neither. This is no help.
Well.. you think I might turn bad illegally, but I haven't. You think that's a toy of a guess? Something isn't right. People just are so weird around me. I am in my home in my room, but I feel in a room of trouble. Why are your relationships important and not mine, most of which do not talk to me, not sure why they're so ^private^. Not even sure that they are. They don't want me to get attention from older adults for being nice and saying no one likes me.
Ho hum diddly dum, time for bed soon.
Sunday, June 28, 2015
Dropping Emotions
I have seen people drop things so we can't trust them emotionally.
Like, famous people who met Ellen act like that, dropping things.
People on the IMDb Soapbox who are nice are acting like being mean is good cuz someone nice might have actually went out and told them to do that or possibly still a lie they did.
I'm not bad, and as a whole we aren't all worthless. It's too bad if you can't trust the world. I don't like how they make good people mean. I didn't shrug off losing nice posters on IMDb. It might be because I wanted to use the Nazi symbol, originally Asian, for my Eurasian race. It's rather stupid not to know it was just a sign of racial pride or happiness. People in 2008 and 2009 were calling themselves Nazis on there, and people accepted it.
What do you think? Just say we all make mistakes. It's not a contest to beat other people.
Like, famous people who met Ellen act like that, dropping things.
People on the IMDb Soapbox who are nice are acting like being mean is good cuz someone nice might have actually went out and told them to do that or possibly still a lie they did.
I'm not bad, and as a whole we aren't all worthless. It's too bad if you can't trust the world. I don't like how they make good people mean. I didn't shrug off losing nice posters on IMDb. It might be because I wanted to use the Nazi symbol, originally Asian, for my Eurasian race. It's rather stupid not to know it was just a sign of racial pride or happiness. People in 2008 and 2009 were calling themselves Nazis on there, and people accepted it.
What do you think? Just say we all make mistakes. It's not a contest to beat other people.
These Things
I never got to do them. My generation was slow. I don't think it's my fault. I liked to think of ways to help people, not hurt them. They were the ones who didn't talk to me.
What would you do..
What would you do if you liked someone, and then someone else did? Can't both work? People think I don't make sense but others do. I have a bigger fanbase because most people didn't try to get famous and popular and well-liked. I'm not even just here to feel good.
I just am considered bad and out in a certain way.
I think I am getting nasty messages every day I have to sit there and try to wipe off. And I don't think that "applies" to anyone else. You know it was a racial precaution that no one would like me. People all smile at me in real life, and you see me online.
I just am considered bad and out in a certain way.
I think I am getting nasty messages every day I have to sit there and try to wipe off. And I don't think that "applies" to anyone else. You know it was a racial precaution that no one would like me. People all smile at me in real life, and you see me online.
I don't feel..
I don't feel respected by people like Ellen. I am not gonna let anger towards me ruin my life, which it is. It's racist and age-ist, like I'm not born in the Flower Age or my parents aren't born in the Flower Age. I keep saying this, but people keep doing it. I can't feel accomplished. Suddenly, others are considered good/"better." I also feel taunted. I wanted to be maybe in a movie and imagined I'd be cute as a working mom of young children, but it's like I'm not a big deal but everyone else in the world is. That's wrong.
Who I Talk To
I usually don't get to talk to:
brunettes - cuz they're smart
Spanish - cuz I'm 1/2 Chinese
brunettes - cuz they're smart
Spanish - cuz I'm 1/2 Chinese
People and Problems
Why do you give some people what they want?
I'm not afraid of things socially. I have some other problems.
I'm not afraid of things socially. I have some other problems.
Free Thinking
Ellen is too rigid. The world is made of facts to figure out and improve. It's not just about trying to have ***.
Upset
I don't like how a certain person treats me. They are acting like they are a big bully. I still think if I'm being hurt, I can curse about it and not get mistreated for it. Look, I stopped, anyway. It's not a crime. You think I didn't wanna do it? I don't think that was nice! Why if you didn't do something, you have to do it, you said you wanted to do it? You're just all mixed up. You can't just take away my life. I never wanted to start watching Ellen yet anyway. Now, another life is ruined by getting upset when you tune in to Ellen. I only watched cuz I thought she found me/was following me online. Look, I was just upset. Is it illegal? To curse?? You could have taken away a lot of problems from my life. I mostly know I started off just saying curse words, trying not to say things about people. It's not my job to control my temper during an invasion. Whose is? This is ridiculous. I wanted to get away from the noises. Maybe, the cursing was not good for me and bad- I am mad people think they have to be mean to me.
My life is so boring and monotonous because of this.
My life is so boring and monotonous because of this.
Problems?
Why can't you tell me your problems on a piece of paper or writing rather than just hurting me? How is that ever right? I never did anything where I needed to be put away. I bet this is racist. I was trying to become more well-liked, but then you stopped me. I find myself on fatiguing pills. I try to help people socially in general, but I see other people get rewarded for good deeds socially and I get mistreated.
Watch out, fingernail people..
I just thought of someone who had fingernail clippings rubbed into my chest as an idea, and when I thought of him I thought of a fingernail.
Those girls singing Nella Fantasia
are almost better than I was in my days of sanity. Nothing wrong there.
IMDb
Dr. Phil
I understand him.
He likes to go far showing off his skills to different kinds of people.
He always makes an answer of something, if you know what I mean.
I also noticed he likes to get down and show off like he can emulate a youth, a teenager or young adult.
So, what does anyone think of this??
He seems more like a physical performer, in actuality.
I don't know what his priorities are. Robin must know. He's protective of his extended family. He has good kids and grandkids. His family is dark. I wonder if that's like me, growing up in a mixed race family.
I don't like it when men treat young females sexually when they are also supposed to be their father figure. I wonder what's going on on that show! and in the world. I think he thinks people born around 1985 are like old enough to be dating material and around 1997-200? are like child material. He even feels confident over others to handle "cool" people, but those cool people are bad or messed up, admittedly.
All in all, thanks so much, Dr. Phil, for providing these quirks and interviewing the dangerous people, which hopefully will dwindle in population. Thanks for keeping people in a line. They may be permanently messed up but need to learn to deal with it and improve.
He always makes an answer of something, if you know what I mean.
I also noticed he likes to get down and show off like he can emulate a youth, a teenager or young adult.
So, what does anyone think of this??
He seems more like a physical performer, in actuality.
I don't know what his priorities are. Robin must know. He's protective of his extended family. He has good kids and grandkids. His family is dark. I wonder if that's like me, growing up in a mixed race family.
I don't like it when men treat young females sexually when they are also supposed to be their father figure. I wonder what's going on on that show! and in the world. I think he thinks people born around 1985 are like old enough to be dating material and around 1997-200? are like child material. He even feels confident over others to handle "cool" people, but those cool people are bad or messed up, admittedly.
All in all, thanks so much, Dr. Phil, for providing these quirks and interviewing the dangerous people, which hopefully will dwindle in population. Thanks for keeping people in a line. They may be permanently messed up but need to learn to deal with it and improve.
Desire to Fit In?
I understand the desire to fit in, but you're just going too far showing off to the wrong people. No one specific. Most people can comply.
How sarcastic and dumb, that background girl'd call me the n word.
Jess and Cece go on a walk of shame on #NewGirl Justin Long (Genzlinger) and Josh Gad (Bear Claw) return! 9pm on fox pic.twitter.com/ddW7nlJCAX— zooey deschanel (@ZooeyDeschanel) March 3, 2015
Stupid Stupid..Stupid!
Do you think people act stupidly for attention? I mean of course on the whole.
Important Lie
I'm sorry I upset you. I only cursed about being hurt! People are telling me we have to die for Ellen. Lives matter eternally.
Pathetic
I can feel it in the air, can't quite put my finger on it, but I'm fine. I just have partial grudges I feel for each "person." Why? Not to be mean. To be smart. That is why I recognized the system of not fully feeling a grudge against a person but realizing people caused it cuz it's true.
1st off, one has to admit no one has to do anything.
I watched Perfect High last night, to be easy and just say it. *sigh* So, everything I've been seeing lately is about Bella Thorne having red hair supposedly like someone. I do feel a bit out of place and awkward saying it. All in all, that made me a happy person. Every outfit she wore had something to do with it. Like, purple means friendly, for whatever reason. It used to mean feeling like royalty back in 2005. Also, I in another movie, an attractive girl dyed her hair red. This was all for Bella. When I was younger, a little older than her, it felt like all the people dressed in clothes that meant something I was allowed to interpret. They finally stopped. Even the cars and the license plates I believed were true secret messages. Weird. So, this seems to be a similar story. I know Ellen supports her by force choice because she sent me a secret message saying, "What I don't think ya will..cuz ya haven't yet," about me acting, which is what I've been trying to do. I would be good, no mistakes made. It's racism. So, Bella doesn't have to feel like she can't do anything. It was that anyone at any age could act, just have to be appealing. I don't get it. They say no to surprise people like me. Those people who do that in charge are those bitter Italians who hate people like me with Asian.
What is so taboo about feeling happy like you're a good person? Bella does it with you guys. You're probably picking the "stupid" reason that I had a hard time with college studies. You thought I should take away from my free time, which I seemed not to have much of. Sure, I had a little fun outside for my health and probably cuz I thought it was still just an experiment. The work was too hard, anyway, and I tried to do it, of course, maybe not enough. I felt like I could not study and did not want to go home and probably lost my train of thought and did not withdraw! Well, if you are mad because I didn't study enough or couldn't while they waste time in class with things that aren't on the test like at all, you sure let actors go by having fun with their individual study plan and the afforded tutor.
What, is there something else or something bad that makes me not perfect? Do you think I have a problem? Yes, I felt blocked out from the world. I forgot to withdraw but didn't do it again after a specific experience.
So, what's so bad about feeling good about myself? I am a good person. Are you still asking about college? I don't remember, but I did take walks at night. If I missed class, it was cuz I was trying to get my major back. You guys lied to me that I could relax and expect a happy life! Didn't even encourage my studying and practicing!
Who's threatening people who are nice to me because of college? Racists. No one told me to stay home after that, if you're wondering, but I wouldn't have a battle. It would be stupid to tell me I'm stupid. I realize battling is not the original crime and doesn't do as much, but if it was not with another situation it would.
I just assume I am worthless. People are racist and picking at me that I'm not perfect anymore. I am not mean! I did not turn into a mean person! Like, if I hit my sofa they threaten to go in my life and take people out or make compensations. They don't care if someone else hits their sofa.
So, you're just picking on me for college and not being perfect, but you didn't tell me to not go to college at the time. I don't know what I was supposed to do. There were noises outside my dorm after the hurricane, workers probably building something or something. Maybe, that's why you didn't tell me not to go to college anymore. I was wasting my scholarship, but then the plane ride. What is it? No, you don't be mean to all these rich people out there who flunk out. Can you provide a reason? I don't want life to turn into a battle for me.
I don't want to wonder if I'm in trouble by being "punished" at things being inappropriate to others, like punishing me as their special moment. That's not good for them. By the way, I have a good attitude and do things appropriately, just made these mistakes because of the ambiguity of the experiment because it is indeed a factor and therefore what's to blame. I was depressed and dysfunctional after being kicked outta my major for being shy supposedly. What can I hope for? I have no other scholarship and got marked down in some classes, true marked up in 1 at least. But it should have said a lot of A's in music. Why were the general studies classes so hard? Nothing I read nor heard and took notes on in the class were on the test, it seemed. Should I have figured out to leave at that ot re-enroll in honors for special students? I took too many classes under pressure. No one knew to tell me. They encouraged it. It seems weird I did that, even. It seemed as tho I got something out of it as opposed to music without my desired major/classes.
I never had these problems before, and that tells you something and it's your fault. Your fault. It was not all my fault. I should have tried, tho.
So, all I wonder about is these other people having it easy and me seeming like a social invalid. I didn't present that picture! How racist. I hope it fits your fancy.
About where anger was struck.. People are taking back what they said to me that they liked me and instead have a relationship with someone else. What makes me mad is the people who made the world think I'm a social invalid. You wanna talk? That's not appropriate of a way to do it. I'm not saying no to anything in some ways, just got sad and didn't want a few "mistakes" in my past to lock me up for life!!
It just seems so pathetic. I "did my part" and supported Bella Thorne feeling good. She felt generous and will be rewarded for being so, where the part where I support her .. well, in any way, they are "comfortable" making Bella feel good but seem to not want to be nice to me. They think something bad would happen if they were nice to me. No one is gonna care I am nice to Bella, but Bella gets rewarded for pretending about my life being glorious.. or for being nice and caring about others. I do that, too, but you're just racist! I like being white more than most anyone. I am respectable to the interests of other races, and you overlook that, naturally.
You may guess who I must be talking to, but it is hard to post and direct it correctly. I don't mean anything bad against anyone. You're just gonna say I do, some of you.
How can you be uncomfortable to be nice to me anymore but go on and are comfortable with someone else? Why does she seem so involved in being apologetic to me? She's a good person. Maybe, she wants more friends. I don't know that style of living can last. Maybe, she had no one else in this realm and stuff. It seems like a new way of logic. I dunno about the past ways. I'm a bit uncomfortable and don't know other than my dinky blog how others know about me. If you knew about other people, then you could talk about them. I guess people predict my life the way they know how to detect if someone is Asian. I do like it when I get little signs or something once in a blue moon that someone has met me, hopefully via my blog if anything, as it's appropriate.
I'm not mad and was 100% happy for Bella, as I said. I am mad kinda but not at all to Bella. I mean, sometimes, she's a little harsh for a moment for reasons, but it's not her fault.
Ha ha, let's just sit here and laugh. I wasn't "mad" trying to be mean to people writing this.
Don't try to pretend it's just some fling. Like I said, I was very happy for Bella, nothing should be changed for the worse. It just made me realize how much meaner people were to me. Who made Bella act apologetic the whole time. That's probably your "modesty" there being played out. I forget what I was gonna say with that.
Basically, to sum it up, I think someone is trying to punish me and fully approved of someone else without problem. I am happy for that person, tho. It angers me greatly that my life is so trashed and people who are nice think I'm so bad. They are so careful with this other person. She should get it and could. You said part of things like this are to make people feel someone other than me could have it all. Well, she says she doesn't have it all, but you go back and "comfort" her and me taboo for what? No, I don not want what you are thinking as I am not a mushy person - I don't "want it" ugly! I'm just saying in some other terms.
Let's talk about it outside the wrath of my king dad. It does seem like Bella is more accepted than me, glad for her, but to do with my race. To do with my race without these people. I still go back. Bella could not even enjoy her present of the nice clothes because some of you are so mean.
All I can feel is rejection with spite in ways. It is specifically that I got into trouble for cursing about being hurt! and that other people get what they want and I don't! and I stopped cursing anyway.
1st off, one has to admit no one has to do anything.
I watched Perfect High last night, to be easy and just say it. *sigh* So, everything I've been seeing lately is about Bella Thorne having red hair supposedly like someone. I do feel a bit out of place and awkward saying it. All in all, that made me a happy person. Every outfit she wore had something to do with it. Like, purple means friendly, for whatever reason. It used to mean feeling like royalty back in 2005. Also, I in another movie, an attractive girl dyed her hair red. This was all for Bella. When I was younger, a little older than her, it felt like all the people dressed in clothes that meant something I was allowed to interpret. They finally stopped. Even the cars and the license plates I believed were true secret messages. Weird. So, this seems to be a similar story. I know Ellen supports her by force choice because she sent me a secret message saying, "What I don't think ya will..cuz ya haven't yet," about me acting, which is what I've been trying to do. I would be good, no mistakes made. It's racism. So, Bella doesn't have to feel like she can't do anything. It was that anyone at any age could act, just have to be appealing. I don't get it. They say no to surprise people like me. Those people who do that in charge are those bitter Italians who hate people like me with Asian.
What is so taboo about feeling happy like you're a good person? Bella does it with you guys. You're probably picking the "stupid" reason that I had a hard time with college studies. You thought I should take away from my free time, which I seemed not to have much of. Sure, I had a little fun outside for my health and probably cuz I thought it was still just an experiment. The work was too hard, anyway, and I tried to do it, of course, maybe not enough. I felt like I could not study and did not want to go home and probably lost my train of thought and did not withdraw! Well, if you are mad because I didn't study enough or couldn't while they waste time in class with things that aren't on the test like at all, you sure let actors go by having fun with their individual study plan and the afforded tutor.
What, is there something else or something bad that makes me not perfect? Do you think I have a problem? Yes, I felt blocked out from the world. I forgot to withdraw but didn't do it again after a specific experience.
So, what's so bad about feeling good about myself? I am a good person. Are you still asking about college? I don't remember, but I did take walks at night. If I missed class, it was cuz I was trying to get my major back. You guys lied to me that I could relax and expect a happy life! Didn't even encourage my studying and practicing!
Who's threatening people who are nice to me because of college? Racists. No one told me to stay home after that, if you're wondering, but I wouldn't have a battle. It would be stupid to tell me I'm stupid. I realize battling is not the original crime and doesn't do as much, but if it was not with another situation it would.
I just assume I am worthless. People are racist and picking at me that I'm not perfect anymore. I am not mean! I did not turn into a mean person! Like, if I hit my sofa they threaten to go in my life and take people out or make compensations. They don't care if someone else hits their sofa.
So, you're just picking on me for college and not being perfect, but you didn't tell me to not go to college at the time. I don't know what I was supposed to do. There were noises outside my dorm after the hurricane, workers probably building something or something. Maybe, that's why you didn't tell me not to go to college anymore. I was wasting my scholarship, but then the plane ride. What is it? No, you don't be mean to all these rich people out there who flunk out. Can you provide a reason? I don't want life to turn into a battle for me.
I don't want to wonder if I'm in trouble by being "punished" at things being inappropriate to others, like punishing me as their special moment. That's not good for them. By the way, I have a good attitude and do things appropriately, just made these mistakes because of the ambiguity of the experiment because it is indeed a factor and therefore what's to blame. I was depressed and dysfunctional after being kicked outta my major for being shy supposedly. What can I hope for? I have no other scholarship and got marked down in some classes, true marked up in 1 at least. But it should have said a lot of A's in music. Why were the general studies classes so hard? Nothing I read nor heard and took notes on in the class were on the test, it seemed. Should I have figured out to leave at that ot re-enroll in honors for special students? I took too many classes under pressure. No one knew to tell me. They encouraged it. It seems weird I did that, even. It seemed as tho I got something out of it as opposed to music without my desired major/classes.
I never had these problems before, and that tells you something and it's your fault. Your fault. It was not all my fault. I should have tried, tho.
So, all I wonder about is these other people having it easy and me seeming like a social invalid. I didn't present that picture! How racist. I hope it fits your fancy.
About where anger was struck.. People are taking back what they said to me that they liked me and instead have a relationship with someone else. What makes me mad is the people who made the world think I'm a social invalid. You wanna talk? That's not appropriate of a way to do it. I'm not saying no to anything in some ways, just got sad and didn't want a few "mistakes" in my past to lock me up for life!!
It just seems so pathetic. I "did my part" and supported Bella Thorne feeling good. She felt generous and will be rewarded for being so, where the part where I support her .. well, in any way, they are "comfortable" making Bella feel good but seem to not want to be nice to me. They think something bad would happen if they were nice to me. No one is gonna care I am nice to Bella, but Bella gets rewarded for pretending about my life being glorious.. or for being nice and caring about others. I do that, too, but you're just racist! I like being white more than most anyone. I am respectable to the interests of other races, and you overlook that, naturally.
You may guess who I must be talking to, but it is hard to post and direct it correctly. I don't mean anything bad against anyone. You're just gonna say I do, some of you.
How can you be uncomfortable to be nice to me anymore but go on and are comfortable with someone else? Why does she seem so involved in being apologetic to me? She's a good person. Maybe, she wants more friends. I don't know that style of living can last. Maybe, she had no one else in this realm and stuff. It seems like a new way of logic. I dunno about the past ways. I'm a bit uncomfortable and don't know other than my dinky blog how others know about me. If you knew about other people, then you could talk about them. I guess people predict my life the way they know how to detect if someone is Asian. I do like it when I get little signs or something once in a blue moon that someone has met me, hopefully via my blog if anything, as it's appropriate.
I'm not mad and was 100% happy for Bella, as I said. I am mad kinda but not at all to Bella. I mean, sometimes, she's a little harsh for a moment for reasons, but it's not her fault.
Ha ha, let's just sit here and laugh. I wasn't "mad" trying to be mean to people writing this.
Don't try to pretend it's just some fling. Like I said, I was very happy for Bella, nothing should be changed for the worse. It just made me realize how much meaner people were to me. Who made Bella act apologetic the whole time. That's probably your "modesty" there being played out. I forget what I was gonna say with that.
Basically, to sum it up, I think someone is trying to punish me and fully approved of someone else without problem. I am happy for that person, tho. It angers me greatly that my life is so trashed and people who are nice think I'm so bad. They are so careful with this other person. She should get it and could. You said part of things like this are to make people feel someone other than me could have it all. Well, she says she doesn't have it all, but you go back and "comfort" her and me taboo for what? No, I don not want what you are thinking as I am not a mushy person - I don't "want it" ugly! I'm just saying in some other terms.
Let's talk about it outside the wrath of my king dad. It does seem like Bella is more accepted than me, glad for her, but to do with my race. To do with my race without these people. I still go back. Bella could not even enjoy her present of the nice clothes because some of you are so mean.
All I can feel is rejection with spite in ways. It is specifically that I got into trouble for cursing about being hurt! and that other people get what they want and I don't! and I stopped cursing anyway.
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