Problem

So, what do you think about being blocked by someone?  I mean, it seems like this kind of thing happens.  I sometimes think like with family I have too many advantages.  Sometimes, I worry they will be friends with someone else, instead, and I guess that they aren't real people.  Then, I don't really believe anyone "is real."  The problem is that we are expected to read certain things, and anyone can get in.  I will be held at stake.  I think people will just feel sorry for me and know I'm open.  They won't trust her.  You can't read her posts anywhere, though.  Um, I never said, yea it's cool Facebook should do that.  I just mean, like, say, what if Tim Burton just didn't like you, or Ellen DeGeneres?  What if both of them didn't?  Wouldn't you hve like a combined problem?  I don't know, I mean admit it don't you like play a game?  I mean, I guess you'll have to just say like everyone is going for something, and if they know someone let you down, they won't do what they did instead.  You know, you feel sad.  So, they won't say, yes this person is talking to you.  It'll say, no, this person is putting you off.  I like reading her Facebook and want to in the summer.  What will I do?  She doesn't talk to me.  Wah.  WTF is this?  I'm gonna talk about it to the people in my class, probably.  I said I'd e-mail and see who all wants to talk I guess after Acting I or Improv.  I mean, why can't I see her Facebook like everyone else?  I mean, not everyone in the world will friend her.  I mean, WTF is everyone's problem!  She really is being mean.  I mean why did she do it?  Just to send a message?  Isn't that like shitty?  I mean, come one, what do you think?  It's like she's afraid of me.  She doesn't understand my frustrations.  Why?  What is wrong with her?  I mean, maybe she's not really Californian or maybe it's just L.A. now because I'm from the South.

No Networking

Supposedly, people go to school, teach .. they thought that it wasn't some cool thing to think of it as just getting together and networking.  I'm sorry, but that's what it is.  You think this is something for Ginny and you just help out unattractive professors.  Um, that's not so.

How I Feel

I feel kinda like the food is sitting in my stomach like it's sorta a cross between a sink at a Disney|Orlando hotel and the old sink in my dorm at Loyola where the Jesuits used to stay before the hurricane, Hurricane Katrina..

Good Morning

I just woke up, had liverwurst, lemon cookies, made greens with purple cooked. 3I in water, cooking large hunk of beef.  Gonna watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."  Checking if I have some online messages.

I don't remember my dream so well, anymore, but I forgot about me, 2 things I was dropping, my mom did 4 things I remembered, said I could take 4 courses in the fall because of no pending financial aid, she supposes.

Guess then I will pack and see if I have theater homework, get my P.E. homework printed out (send my parents a note,) and see if I have theater homework other than the rehearsing, didn't get to pick the book yet..children's book, for Voice for the Actor, not sure about the reading for Acting 1, apparently isn't much of any to go over.  So..

Shower, etc.  Mm..

Argh, yes, "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," I mean I thought I was gonna maybe catch up, but it never was my responsibility to say what I would watch for sure.  I did miss like 2 weeks, though, not like 2 days, and I just started posting about it online.  :D  That's my thing, I already claim a stake that I claim no begging, ordering, whatever, and you obviously don't have to listen.  Maybe I need a new section of my blog? for announcements or like under "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" type thing..  So, like I said, don't like plan on me keeping up, but I do hope I keep up anyway not that it should matter but I mean I guess to me it does.  }:D

Fooling With Problems

Did you think that Ellen DeGeneres fools with you just because of something she has a problem with?  Also, I don't wanna be bugged about catching up on episodes.  I'm gonna go to bed, just relaxing.  I figured I'd watch it after I pack when I wake up or while I wait for the van-  Um, can't watch it on my phone, so, guess I'll catch you later?  I mean, I am worried about the therapist appointment and coming home unwinding singing or possibly walking but probably not since I will jog at school..  :(  I have to watch her show!  *D;  I mean, I assume I will wake up soon enough.. pack.  Watch the show, go.  Get home @ 5.  :(  Go to bed and.. go.  Wednesday, I guess I will wake up, maybe watch her Tuesday night, too.  Then, I can go online and post @ it.  I will probably go back and watch Wednesday, next.

The Past

You know, I already decided I wasn't who I was in the past, a blend of all the times my hair was hippy, I guess..

I was thinking about when I was a kid, and I mean no one ever picked me up.  I was attractive sometimes, but people thought I was older because I was more assertive, when I was 7.  I was more motherly at 8 in choir and as baton leader of little kids and like sorta talented baton twirler, supposedly my best achievement of all time.  :S

Too bad, I'm pretty small now, I guess, eating healthy, 5'.  Still, I eat a lot, not eating lunch like my mom asked cause I'm going to bed.  Also, careful what I eat, don't really need to grab anything, yea did have too much so maybe don't feel like it, had a tummy ache..

My mom thought I was too big to be carried when I was 2 and in Pre-K.  I got straight hair.

It's funny, you know, I mean, I do lots of different things..

I guess I'm sorta the total person.  I've thought of lots of things in my past.  I don't know, I mean, I never wanted anyone to pick me up.  It's like a feeling.  You know, I am very interested, though.  I wish I were taller, my legs, I mean, my torso is getting smaller, I could be like a kid, I mean, but I know before I felt funny being short trying to get in movies like with Johnny Depp and Tim Burton.

Huh.. maybe something will come to me.  I dunno, I mean I'm going to a theater class, looked for a choir didn't find 1, didn't find much in way of promise for theater, not much like that here.  :(  Well, yea, I've met some interesting more feeble people..

Facebook Photo

This is my old theater teacher, from my 1st year of high school - actually, I was just in drama club and I was in Talented Theater actually 2 years later.. was fun, and then I moved schools coincidentally..  So, I was in a play and got to play an instrumental part on keyboard.

Apparently, she is with a niece or perhaps cousin?  Dunno..

Photo

Teachers

What do you think about people from the South enjoying Ginny?  I do question maybe some families from the South, wonder about it, I guess, not sure why..I mean my mom -is- from a hotter climate, but you could argue like the sea or something.  Well, no, she is not Filipino|Vietnamese, so..  I mean, I guess in the U.S., you didn't have people from up north ruling.  I have a problem, it seems that I'm a very physical person, and I bet that some people just aren't that physical|accepting.  Maybe, we should find some??  Maybe, I'm not like that.  I guess, I probably learned to not be selfish from my dad.  I mean, people from the South seem rather radical.  I mean, my lips aren't weak, I'm a singer, too.  It seems that people from the South have a more white culture because maybe Canada is dry.  Well, I moved to the New Orleans area, across the lake from the island, and I mean all of a sudden things surrounded me so physically, not to mention the stresses of being more in the middle of the country..seemed more Western to me, but you know it's the middle so it's not like on an edge, but it seems like it gets rockier as you travel more that way, not sure what else, just seems like strong people are there.  They must have been good on the ranches.  So, I had never had that kind of an experience before.  Before, I felt more mobile, I guess, but I had more of this like greasy pore stress, though I didn't seem to have as greasy of pores.  At least, now, I don't have to go to school.  When I moved, I guess in high school, the stress of homework wasn't as bad, though I stayed up later as I got older with homework and not really hanging out other than the needing like 1½-2 hours online e-mailing..then there's homework until like 1:30 A.M.?  Did nothing in school?  Um..at school from 8-3?  Not really okay, at all, not supposed to have much homework.  I went to college, and the non-honors courses were harder.  I guess at Valencia, it's a bit different but still the subjects are pretty annoying, I think..takes its toll from the wasted years.  So, kids are happy to leave and work I guess so they won't fall in any traps of having to do harder work.  They know away from parents they have the opportunity to move up as an adult.  Why not?  I mean, we need rest, some people enjoy their food and exercise, do things like singing classical music possibly and now can post on a blog online, which I don't see much action in.

Problem

You know, I don't feel very energized, didn't finish cleaning my room, not looking forward to packing so much but you know I'll make it.  I want to bring a bigger suitcase, not sure how that will go, maybe not so good.  I mean, it wouldn't be as thin but maybe has to be that way.  That's kinda why I left, had a bad semester watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," felt made fun of by everyone all the time.  If you do not know, that is not really why concretely.  I wasn't thinking of anything like that.  :0  What about my sorta, er, fantasy life in Orlando?  What's wrong with that?  :(

Problem

28 Weight Training Questions, better look up the words..

Realized Stuff

My dad gave me the message Tim Burton is mad.  I didn't have a good time with Ginny, have been poked at like a pill bug for EIGHT years and now I am grown up in some way.  Don't worry, since I still am not grown up I am like a kid+teen.

Also, just admit it, you bastards, many people only what they do is claim they are being bad on purpose, and you cuddle them for saying they don't need you but hurt me for what they did.  I did not like avoid watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," on purpose.  I was being poked at for not being able to be perfect in the homework!!!  I never said, ooh I am watching your show so like make sure that you notice me.  I just say I try to watch it and you don't have to notice me but I like it when people I like notice me, WHAT IS YOUR GODDAMN FUCKING PROBLEM!

Problem

We shouldn't have homework in weight training.

Also, about theater, I mean don't complain about not enough work nor the teacher making class like stimulating.  You'll be sorry when you do acting and stuff other than in college, like as a community activity?  It is a possibility.  I mean, you don't want to just be like all work and no interacting.

Problem

Look, my life is not based on me not doing homework or not really catching most episodes of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."  Why is everything like ricocheting back?  This never happened before.  I mean, I only take 8 theater credits from 1 teacher + I even do weight training.  I also even see a therapist, which is a bit off for my schedule.  I just know otherwise I'd get into some other mischief wondering about it for awhile.  +, I mean, I dunno, my dad took me there when I started cursing online.  I do like it but not for him, which is why it makes me mad.  I mean, really, I'm not making it up.

I felt sorta bastardized, wanted to watch Ellen, had a weird homework assignment, + missed an assignment, happened to ask for it but got the wrong page and didn't let it get in the way, not even sure how much I caught episodes before, but I mean, I'm always nice..I know that when I do watch it I don't feel welcome totally, like I can't just say I watch it and like okay.  I get a lot of stress from people like Tim Burton..  So, I mean, it was a whole weird week.  + I was waiting to see if anyone would play tennis I know at least the 1st day.  Wanted|Needed a jog.  What is so important about it?  If you wanna talk to me just talk to me, write the message.  It's not my fault Ginny is so uptight about homework and other people are making it so.  I didn't even plan to spend much time on it.  After class, she said my answers were too short..in a small space she gave.  Um, well I read through the play like I got it in a day from a classmate in my group when I found out.  I don't know what else kept me up.  I mean, I've been up a lot, was going in to ask questions, there was Mardi Gras the 1 day, then I guess we had the homework after that.  Weight training began in February, had been going in the offices for signing up about Florida residency.  I watched her show last semester, and I had all these weird noises in my room and got health problems from using a certain workout tape with an attractive girl in front and then staying home eating hamburgers because I didn't feel like going out for some reason, woke up, not on meds, and I mean watch the show, go online in some fashion, mostly complaining about the noises, got a weird message about this situation, as well, I mean why would I ever do anything for anyone and what am I supposed to do?  Not do my homework?  I am taking these 3 classes, no questions asked.  I know it's the dumdums in Florida making fun of me enjoying the classes.

Also, I do things, and these people from weird somewhat physical supposedly places are claiming to me I did this and that when I said something not carefully enough compared to others, like maybe I was never raised by anyone and they were.  I already said no one talks to me carefully and think they're my mother, too.  Then, they never admit why all they do is bug me about stuff like that, like I'm not worth it, like I didn't make it.  They just won't talk to me but talk to my parents.

Mystery

So, I would stay home and do ballet but want to take classes from a teacher I like, may stop after the next semester and could take sucky ballet classes.  They think Orlando is not a place to work out..?

I wanted to pick a major at a college nearby, UCF, but I mean I wanted it to be dance, found a problem with Music..

Question

Why is Ballet 1 like not all like glitzy?  I mean, I know for the people in the Repertory level, you're supposed to have come in accomplished.  The only problem with that is the teacher was a Music major..

Another Class

4 kinds of ballet courses are offered @ 8:30-9:55 in the morning on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  Maybe, I'll just do that.

Idea

Next semester, I can take Racquetball.  It's 10-10:50 A.M.  I guess Ginny's Diction + Stage Movement classes will be in the evenings, T Th, according to what she said, not sure how many years she's been doing these courses here.  So, then, I can run for an hour, eat, shower, and go to class.  It doesn't seem like a productive day.  I mean, a 10:00 day isn't really early.. especially if the rest of it is in the lockers.

Dance

I feel I am not ready.  There's a dancer in a theater class who is so thin, didn't give me her e-mail.

Other People

Everyone used to say I wish all the kids (everyone) were like me..  :|  (and my brother, in some way you know..)  So, that was because I was nice.  You can't just live your life, jump back in, and expect to mimic me.

The thing with Ginny's class is she really doesn't seem to understand Central Florida.  All I can say is the other kids are bad.  Ginny doesn't care.  She shouldn't even teach there.  I mean, I'm not saying it's bad but that I mean you have to like ~find~ your like pupils.  Like, why not get kids from the high schools?  What about the young adults?  That's -my- -question-.  I mean, I'm waiting, I don't want it to be nothing as the answer.  What about just me?  Why worry, about anyone else?

Problem

What a waste of time, Ginny, that p.o.s. because I mean I act in her class and it's like Tim Burton on the surface, just tells you you did something wrong and that what you did now is like dead but that there is no reason, what a p.o.s.  I am just mad, learned to curse, somehow.  I thought the words were funny, but I really am mad.  I mean, what else could I say?  How annoying?  What an annoying person?  She deserves to be knocked out?  What?  She isn't really a good person?  She isn't really comfortable, but her X's last name was Kopf?  I mean, ever since my mom was pregnant, I didn't look so perfect in figure.  Everyone since has thought I was just crap.  There were times in the past where I had problems but none like this were I look like a gay boy.