Problem

I just feel bad.  You all are so ridiculous like lion trainers around me.  I mean, you all think I am bad because as a kid I said I didn't like being the oldest, though I am glad of it now.  Now, you have Late Boomers feeling good over ousting me and bothering me when they are so sweet to Generation YZ kids.

I don't know about the "tone" or "quality" of my voice when I said this.  I just feel you all are getting back at me but not at all the Late Boomers in the world.  I'm sick of this.  I didn't ask for anything.

I can't read into anything.

Why seek out touching

those young people and then making us feel guilty?

So

Because Late Boomers as a whole touch little kids who are like 16 or 17.. does not mean I will let an Early Boomer like Dad touch me in place.

Problem

My dad is being suggestive.  He did something different today.  I'm not sure, though, but he does that, leaves signs, to get a rise when I don't and didn't want to be affected by him.  He can't hone in on me all of a sudden.  What if he did that to some other 28-year-old?  Most of those crimes end up in murder and life sentence.

I mean

I guess you can show me a happy picture.  It's not, my dad touches me so someone else has to.

My dad just doesn't!  All I can say is I have genes from him.  I don't mesh as though he's someone else's dad.

I wanted to feel, God, not him.

No one wants

my dad to touch them, unless they're good friends.

Why won't the feeling of my dad go away?

You're messing up how I work.

Mad

I don't like the sparks my dad gives me.  I'm mad.

It's because of Tim Burton.  How bad you care that my dad would do what you did.  I don't like this.

I'm not here

to share my dad's ecstasy.

I don't wanna fight you.

I wanna say what I say, but you react in a catastrophic way.

It's not that I don't feel nothing..

..I just feel it's being used as a punishment.  It's for future reference for those who wanna know what really happens.  I do like that it's special, but I don't do it.  Maybe, no one likes me.  His touch is not the touch come down from Heaven nor an Ellen DeGeneres, though.  Some things don't mix with that guy.  I don't know why.  It's a mystery, and this forwardness goes in history!

Can I just flat out say

I like when teachers touch me?  (some)

I just care about my dad boo hoo - o shut up.  He doesn't care, but he turns on me for unknown causes and can't take a joke nor the truth when he's clearly in the wrong.  Or is this old news?  I dunno, he can't blog on me cuz he doesn't have a blog.

If you think touching is different, you've entered a whole new court.

What about mom?

Probing Thoughts

So why are you so interested in my dad touching?

I might look like him, but that doesn't mean he's the ideal identical role model for certain people.  Do you wanna argue that?  :D  I mean, who is, the lady who looks like a chicken or the teen that looks like a goat?  No one is.  You're all just beauty or you have a brain.  Genetically, I guess there lie mysteries, in which I was always interested.  My dad's a bit burly, and I don't see it in a girly.  Ha ha ha.

OMg anything to talk about anyone?  What's going on in your life really that's worth trying to blog about if you can.

You all are mean to me without consequence, and I am NOT mean to you.

My profile pic.

I noticed if it weren't for Tim Burton I could have gotten better and looked nicer than I do.  I have a naked look.  Need to do my hair some other way..

People are so picky about what I say.  Got a fetish.  That's why they don't blog, but many do.  Won't listen to me that I do.

I want my life to be functional right now.

Girls from France?

I know why people love black hair.

So their skin seems lighter.

Someone

is incredibly mean and a constant nuisance.  No one really cares.  We don't care what your next suggestive post will say and your robotic attitude on Twitter.  Is this important?  Try a taste of ya'll's own medicine.

It seems I cannot change anything.

People just stay mad.

You all need to stop.

You just want me to feel suggestions all the time.  You think I did Music Education for you.  You think it's suggestive.  I don't care.

Problem

I don't need to go over my bad side.  I am aware I was a good singer.  Now, you have all these crazy ideas about what perfect singing would be and that no one else can do it.

See

Ellen is a big part of my life.  What should I think?  All the people on Twitter and Facebook are fools.  :D  They just say the same thing I think, and I found that when I said it I just kept repeating myself.  She posts something, and I don't know what she wants us to post back.  I just know my opinion will be sorta pushed aside physically, like I shouldn't have said that.  So, I never know what to say.

But, yes, I like Ellen, and it didn't take much deciding to decide.  So, if that's all you want to know, I accept her.  About her suggestions, like doing weird things or wondering about her posts early on from seeing it, I agree, but she just seems to follow the crowd.  However, that's like surrendering someone else's right arm.  (I just said that because it is an effective symbol.  It says something that sparks a quick reaction and the right thought.)  Let's just leave it at that.  This post doesn't entirely seem to make sense, but it seems also to fit like clockwork.  You can't get much better than what you see on TV.

And I'm tired of going through this post and will post as is.  xp  I changed it a bit and seem to have concluded a lot.  It's not worse than my other posts, which hopefully aren't too bad.

IMDb - The Soapbox

People are judging me and are wrong.

They are jealous, but they are being weird to me.

You young singers

are all weird making fun of people for listening to your music, like it's personal.  That's what inspired me to rise to the occasion.

I'm not here to listen to people lie about me.

I used to do this.

link

You can't say anything bad to me cuz I didn't hurt you and don't want to.

If someone does something bad to me, I'm supposed to say something against them.

Problem

When I discuss things, ya'll follow a different creed, that saying something stains the page.  You make no sense.  If you think older people know what's best, you're obviously wrong cuz some of them are bad and murder.

People are afraid

if someone can sing who is an actor - take Johnny Depp in Sweeney Todd for instance.  I can just see a 16 or 17 year old doing it.

How Dishonest

I'm not mum, and I'm not to be played with.

Talking Things Out

Sometimes, you do it to regret it.

If I catch up

on Ellen, I still want to see today's 1st.

Want to watch TV

May only have energy for 1 show today.  Should I watch today's at 3?  I did my nails, want water.. I so want to be in Hollywood.  I'm just sitting around doing nothing.  The acting classes don't seem worth it.  I didn't get contacted by the advisor for the workshop.

Well

Jogged and Showered

tired from diabetes pill

Let's see.

Did I castrate Ellen?  So sorry if I only came up with some twisted remark.  Seems interested in something.

So..

..about my rewording, what do you think?  I should probably get interested in other important things.

So

Why do people watch me?  I hope something is about to happen.  They probably watch other people, too.  I wonder if anything will happen.

Let's see.

Was I nasty today?  Yes..  Sorry!  I was trying to be as nice as possible without being mute.

Actress

link

Are you trying to tell me

bad kids are good to me but bad to you?

Actress

Chloe Sevigny

link

So, I made this topic on IMDb..

..I couldn't quite get it out right, think part of what I was saying was bonked out of existence, the important part.  I said I didn't mean it sarcastically.  I guess I could have said showcasing.. but what else, making a spectacle or display of? but not in a sarcastic way?

Well

But did you laugh, as usual? OK

(the ppl of Orlando..?)

Feeling Bad

I apologize, for things that you think I meant that I shouldn't and therefore don't.

I don't need to be in check

by Ellen like I don't think like I'm autistic or a tactual|kinesthetic learner because my dad is from PA and no LA.

Why do people get at me..

..like for looking out for myself?  They think everything is meant to be about another.  Like, I'll act nice and even apologetic and say I am gonna do it again and I'm just making myself feel good.  They don't even act nice period, sometimes.  I don't care if it makes me appear right, they don't.  They say I'm wrong and not good enough.

What hatred

those people had.  Why invite me to college?  It's a 1 year stint?

What did I accomplish at home?  The only thing was I finally remembered to start a blog (which I could have done in college.)

I find it snotty

that I've been told to be left alone by an old college in New Orleans, like I deserve to be punished, like I was sneaky as they said to get into their programs.  I did all that!  They think it's like I'm better off punished.  When did New Orleans, not anyone in particular, get so retarded?  They think I'm in a different state punished!  How *** is that?  They have no business doing anything ridiculous like that to me.  They should have told me to do 1 instrument and 1 major and to make it singing or let me audition for it.

But yes.

I do want others to get attention from these others.  I was just talking to myself, didn't know how to put it.  Should slow down in a way.  I really do want for this.

Proof

My dad acted like he was pulling out the inside of my ear when I was thinking of studying up north where I did music and heard nice things..

I know what you're thinking.

Well, think no more.  My blog is where I post whatever I want.

Question

I don't really wanna see Ellen act like my old best friend cuz everything has to be about her.

Who cares about people in my life?

Just let them suffer.  You can't call me Asian shit!

Problem

People keep putting me up to being tested and bothering me.  Something isn't right.

HOW DARE YOU

They want to see me as out.

I already knew it was in you.

I'm the one who stayed away long enough to see what was up.  This goes to all you out there who I know have fetishes.

How dare you put me with my old friends who are mean to me and compare us like we're a brand name.  You're tacky and don't deserve to know about us.  I am talking to whoever does this and am not sure why any name came up.

Problem

I think someone is holding a grudge.  Did I mean it?  What's wrong?  I didn't say anything.  You just think I have an opinion.

Problem

I wanted to go for a jog, but my mom got up and bothered me.  She keeps acting like I'm so fat and doesn't care tho.

If you are weird

why do you get to watch me?  You say you're not gonna be nice pretending I'm bad.

Why you all boogy around

and mess with me?

I'm tired of listening to what ya'll say.  Ya'll are below the par.

People are mad.

They act like they are teaching me a lesson.

IMDb - The Soapbox

I sit at home and am waiting to get in a movie.

I just did ironing, washing clothes, cleaning my room and bathroom to a reasonable degree. Want to go for a jog, shower, watch Ellen. I got 3 books to movies:
(1) The Boxtrolls
(2) The Book of Life
(3) I asked about a book for Big Eyes by Tim Burton, coming out this Christmas.

You know famous people hacked into my life and know all about me and are doing mean things to me? Like, they think people I know are "discoveries" over me and that I'm not as cool compared to them. I don't think that's true, but it's too late. They've lied to me, too. I have nothing to do and am sick of this- sick of these people bothering me. In fact, they watch me on cameras, the nurses or whatever. I thought it'd be cool, but it's mostly about sh t. I am not even rich enough to look decent all the time, and my mom got me sent away and put on pills I still take which make me tired.

So, I'm happy about the books, about to go check on getting the book The Boxtrolls is based on, I think Monsters in the Attic.

And also what the people do are done with insinuations, can't catch me being fooled as though I was just being nasty. I don't know what's going on, but it seems to invariably include me in uncomfortable and tacky ways.

Also, it's very abusive here and with my crazy dad.. he kept beating the car wheel yesterday, and it made my hands feel a bit funny. He beat the wheel almost the whole time the light was red after I asked about someone here sticking their rubbery hand out like they're playing piano.. it was a sight to see.

So, excited about books!

Important

So, did you notice how cute boys have to run away?

Overview

Sorry, if you know what I posted pertains to..  I didn't say anything bad, but I said something, like I said.

I wanna jog and shower before I watch Ellen.  I cleaned my room and had ironed clothes and am washing clothes.

Why are people keep bothering me just because of that 1 time I walked outta my room and for some reason it seemed annoying?  I never do that on purpose.  Just leave me alone.  I went to Disney, I have UCF the jazz radio on, and the talking is incessantly trying to dig at me.

Question

So, why does this girl keep thinking all that I have she deserves to have instead?

Maybe, I don't have anything.

I'm tired of

waiting for things to load and trying to control my mind while people watch.

I'm tired of being treated this way

and getting uptight.

It's nonsensical and inappropriate.  What if someone saw?

Something's Been Done

I can't say that mean things can be there just as a check.

Example

"On the Street Where You Live" is on the radio.  Imagine some cozy younger girl in the car with the family with a life of abundance ahead.

They don't even think..

..they should have something going, but someone seems to have hurt that part of me at Disney, some guy in front of me affected me, kept moving around in an annoying way.  I shoulda told someone.

Like, it seems that we're stuck on something.  I just see this as an ongoing pattern.  I'm supposed to supposedly react, but I don't think that's right, neither.  I think what I think and don't have to "do something.."

I don't..

I don't live to be walloped.  (Hurt by whoever watches me every time a pin doesn't drop in the right way.)

I should just ignore the signs.

I don't like watching myself in deep shit on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."  People all hate me.  This show is important.

I don't live to feel trapped.

I don't know how to go about my repetitive life.

Maybe, I will look online at Ellen's show and see if there's any sign to avoid it.. and why.  If it's cuz I used to curse about the noises she put in my room, I'd go over my anger each day and apologize and didn't actually curse at her most often I think.  If I did, I blotted it out to some degree or something.  I just know I was in check.  It's not okay that she put those noises in my room.  She thinks that's what should make me in trouble.

I said I was fine with her talking a lot to others, but I don't like talking ABOUT it, like them saying it's to punish me for that and that if I didn't do it it wouldn't happen.  Why not do it, anyway?  No, I do not accept that as a punishment, and it even made me upset about it in material when my mom, probably via message from Ellen, rubbed it in.

I think she became more touchy and sensitive about when I complain about things and thinks it's based at her cuz she thinks that's what should be going on in my life, her paying attention to someone over me.  I already said it was okay technically but am annoyed if it's just punishment.

I think I will just enjoy it.  I can make fun of it, but that seems to tick them.  I mean, what's wrong with it?  Why make it a huge punishment thing?  And still it's something I do now, I watch the show..  Why judge me falsely, too?  Why just say I'm like a bad person or not that good?

Also, my dad is bugging me without warning.  Ever since Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, it's been this way.  You can't say that they're not an element to the world, now, too, just because it's not about you!  In some ways it is about everyone as a whole, though.

OK

So, I can talk.  Should I watch Ellen's show?  Why would people say no?  Are you her servants?

TV

Something a lotta people must say, guess I'll watch Ellen and hopefully post some comments.  Things were going good, but I've been upset, since.  I did explain myself out since it's a bit iffy.  Nothing really happened, but it sounds like I've hit the nail on the head.

Issue

I see someone is fooling incessantly with me.  The next day..

Why am I suddenly unwelcome?  You all are mean.  Can you accept that?  Maybe, nothing matters, not even fame.  I don't want to be joked around with from those free above.  Maybe, 1 of them is really depressed but done the deed.

Just saying what's going on, no offense.  What's anyone out there think?

Did I do something too much?  I don't know if  I've slipped, but I'd be sorry if I had.

Question

Why would you take a precaution on someone.. they're not in check?

What I Have

Ellen and Bella think everything I say is about them.

When I go to Disney World, some guy in front of me bugs me the whole time by moving around funnily and it even can cause hurt.  For some reason, still, my neck won't crack as deeply, as it always does.

What to Do

I might iron my clothes after my dad goes to work.  Still a bit tired.

Do you ever think

about when people chose to talk to you and then someone else comes up and suddenly they're better? and you're no good?  I was looking at an ad for Sleeping Beauty, and her head was hanging downm like some sad kid who thinks she's been treated wrongly by someone and deserves more.