Beasts! D8

So, realize you tear everything in site and that you're not really using logic because you're mad at someone and think they don't deserve logic.

I forget what else I was gonna say, I think that people only like the Jews because they want to say they're the anti-Chinese, along with like all the other non-Chinese Asians, not meaning the Middle East and tribes.

Did You Know

Did you notice that older adults, like the more elderly, disapprove of being antsy like these sorta pseudo-magician type Generation X males?

Getting Some Rest

I probably should fall asleep.  If the alarm goes haywire, I'll have to have my dad take me.  I'm waking up at 4, so that's less than 3 hours of sleep.

Problem Children

Tim Burton's been awfully mean and unrelinquishing.

Also, I'm getting like "the most" shoved at me "to make sure" of some stupid message.  It really seems to spark in some memory I dislike.  I don't see why I'm good and all of a sudden people creep up behind me like a showoff.  Coming late to the party?  I mean you no harm.  I know ya'll have fetishes.  Wow, this is crap.  Look at all the stuff I'm bringing up.  What happened was that I was at Mary Poppins, and the lady in front of me was being mean and disgusting and I'm guessing someone planted her there.  I thought of her having like a nice forehead and then having squares in the middle but not really but just an idea for everyone else.  I'm getting all these retarded taunts.  Like leave me alone.  I'm white.  I know you're treating me like a nigger.  You're not gonna answer!

Common Problems Unaddressed in Certain Regions ^.^

Isn't it funny people in New Orleans don't like to address the common problems socially everyone knows in the world?

I mean, because you aren't like all set up like a talk show host, people think that you aren't good enough to reach the goals that everyone can attain, like enjoying what's right, like maybe you're 1 of those people who aren't ready even though it was just decided that you were on the ball on that issue.

Ready

I'm all ready for tomorrow.  Have to do homework at school, but it's not much, this time, maybe because of drop date, though it's too late to add classes after the 1st day technically starts.

So, 1st day, I guess I was lying down, hadn't slept lately, had been walking around as usual.  2nd day, was about and packed in the last hour and wasn't ready and apparently when I was in the bathroom the cab didn't knock loudly.  Plus, they came earlier than usual, usually come very late.  So, tonight, I'm ready, have slept like 20 hours 1 day and recently woke up around like 3:30 P.M., so.  I'm bringing my alarm to school and laying on the grass or something or somewhere.  No one has stopped me.  I mean, maybe there's a place somewhere, even a sick room.  There has to be, as long as the police don't keep track of me.  I have to return a book and possibly buy a new 1.

Also, my dad got me an all hot pink big Jansport backpack, a brand that's been popular since I remember getting bigger backpacks, though I used to like backpacks with compartments when I was a big younger.

I think it was considered selfish, but I mean it's just a good brand.  It has plain designs.  It has very good pockets, very very good, and I see now very very good straps.  My mom and brother tried to sell some backpack stuff for the strapping, Strap-It, that goes across the front of your waist.  Also, I have a perfect black gym bag from Sports Authority, where I got the backpack, which they aren't sold as rampantly, anymore.  I just realized when my ankle is better I might need to bring a towel, though I wasn't exactly sure I'd be taking a shower.  I plan on changing right before class.  The bag was $25, and I'm returning some shoes for that much where the sizes weren't the same.  I don't even really have that many clothes to change into.  I don't sweat that much working out on my own, but I don't think I mind being sweaty.  :(  I even thought I could fit all my stuff in my backpack.  I'm used to saving bags.  I have 3 ballet bags.  1 has a CD pocket and the other is a sling backpack with something where maybe you can put a CD player, though I realize now we use MP3s.  I just realized that.  So, my mom got me a neon|lime green lunchbag but returned it since I didn't want it and didn't seee the cancer lunchbags that have been out for maybe over ½ year.  So, I have my old, dirty red lunchbag I got for no real reason. I don't know, but I probably would have told my mom to save the green lunchbag.  I'm getting a new 1.  This 1 is okay, but I mean I could find 1 I really liked, not just 1 that is cute because it's a lunch bag.

So, I have everything all organized easily, not too complicated, a place for everything, even an old Valencia wallet.  Well coin purse.  My lunch is all ready, and I'm getting the Oreo crumble and after the classes are over I know a snack in a snack machine.  I'm bringing dark rye cracker bread (so healthy I presume comes a lot in lite rye for some reason,) bottles of water (a big mesh that fits 1 bottle on my backpack,) some soynuts, a snack bag of mixed, salted nuts (had been having cashews in Orlando,) Clementine with a spoon to open (like a tangerine orange,) fish and Sweet Italian Sausage my dad got (wanted a big dark 1 like a giant Slim Jim,) 3 rather long leaves of lettuce and a stub of a cucumber.  I guess the crackers will keep me occupied.  I'll be lying in the sun.  I packed everything, even my watches.  Bringing my alarm.  I'm setting 2 alarms tonight.  I brought my camera and a little stand, need to ask my dad for a recorder.  I see they cost over $50.  I know on Thursdays, with the long Improvisation class, that we're supposed to snack in between on bathroom break.  Oh, I brought almost a whole pack of female things, will need more for Thursday.

I'm getting weary, hm.  I wonder if this is how Ellen DeGeneres feels.  I wonder if the teacher has time like to enjoy I guess she has 2 small dogs?  Most people have like 1 small dog maybe or maybe even a cat.  Cats crawl, though.  I guess people teach them to get down.

I'm waiting for my nails to dry, don't really feel like sleeping yet, gonna wind down to my YouTube videos, should lie down.  I feel a bit irritated, like filled with hot liquid.  Anyone can quell me?  Also, I haven't answered all my IMDb stuff.

The reason I didn't sleep last week was because I've slept so much, but I'm tired now, feel more like resting with my nearly broken right ankle.  I've been quite up today, though, slept from like 8 or 9 A.M. to 3:30 P.M., + the day before like over 20 hours.  Now, I just so want to be ready and sleep.  I was in so much pain with my ankle on Saturday afternoon.  Then, I woke up and it was Sunday.  I slept again on Monday.  I haven't been walking, and without my cane my leg starts to hurt.

12:30 A.M.  3½ hours to sleep.  Well, maybe in bed for a bit, might get up, might sleep 2 hours.  Rr.  I feel awake at school but mean like a week is enough, ready to get my sleep.  Ow ow ow.  I know that when you sleep too much it becomes troublesome.  Sometimes, it doesn't work.  Sometimes, it's better to last it out.  I don't particularly look forward to lying down with the kids going past.  I feel a bit beat up from financial aid and have yet more to deal with I fear, after the homework, shouldn't be too hard, neither.

Mobile

nu videos of me singing

YouTube

Problem

Can you believe I still have the pimple in my left ear?  I had it over a week ago.  I don't wear ear plugs other than by cars, now.  I just leave my noisemaker on, need to get a loud fan.

How I'm Doing

Just woke up, scheduling my car|van for tomorrow, still tired, have to pull out the homework and e-mail it to myself and print it at the library.

Er, my foot seems better.

I had some interesting dreams, hard to remember.

Ah, have to #3 but am waiting for this call but don't have to go badly.  ?!#$%&*

I have to observe someone, maybe my dad or mom.

Julie Andrews

1

2

3

Incessance to Be My Mother

My whole life, people, I realized, have made a corny, forward statement to mimic my mom in some insulting way.  They surround you like you're stupid and you don't know wt* they're doing and think they're shit.

Facebook Post

Hey, here's me singing the 1st 1 before, with a girl from I think Russia! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vw5vDmQrYGg&feature=share&list=PL-drCFIFUeZ4f1DRgEvx-WnnYIsCybEUO

Facebook Post

Which of the 3 from my 2nd video do you like best:
(1) Don't think that I'm easy pickin's
(2) The music's so nice
(3) Oh no you won't

Can you guess which 1 I like?

Facebook Post

So, Ginny, I was wondering, something I've never talked to anyone about before ... when I was younger, I was under the belief I could mimic any singing, anything. I think it went away. My dad knew I was a brilliant vocalist. So, the thing about it is the eminent danger that you can't really do what you want and that people try to control you, and my dad said it was really dangerous. I was 19. =D Remember those days, when things were still real? Like, the world mattered so much, every little thing, every business aspect so minutely, the utter sheer value of any talent that exists that is genuine. It probably rings a bell to classical literature the way I'm speaking. Speaking of which, in singing there's a word in German for something like sing speaking, like spreksteem or something. In college, we learned gestalt, and I found it in the dictionary, which means something that encompasses a whole idea of a lot of little things.

Facebook Post

Photo

That is so cute!

nu picture of

Nell Burton @ her Tumblr, by moi BD

Closing Up

Tim Burton isn't as open these days.  Neither is anyone in the world.  Anyone has to admit that they have been mean.  Tim Burton claims he's also under pressure, but I mean someone thinking a little bad thought of him as a supposition with him not caring is not a bad thing.  That's what you're supposed to do.  The world isn't positive in that way.  It's almost like he's a nigger, not in some nasty way of the word, though.  I mean, why is it cool to be afraid to be nice like that, to just want to keep insisting on things but not believing the world can be pleasurable, that we have to look to the past and not make changes.

Famous People Online

Do you think people my age are really juggling the morality of posting online where famous people can find that people are living and willing to post in their presence for others to find them, like I mean finding non-famous people online, too?  I mean, what's the big deal?  Unless you mean like Ellen DeGeneres or Tim Burton.  8}

Edit

I added more to my Facebook post.

Edit

I edited my post.  I mean Liked.  3D

Edit

I edited my last Facebook Post.

Facebook Post

http://www.facebook.com/ginny.kopf

"Sing Stronger, Longer." Oh, boy~ More than Julie Andrews? Can anyone tell me how to get that voice back? I also quit ballet to do film acting. Theatre is just a workshop, an experience to do arts that's not when you're doing a movie or something like modeling and all the other Hollywood mishap. It was Johnny Depp who convinced me that anything other than acting was, like, not worth it. Probably Tim Burton, who got Johnny Depp to do "Sweeney Todd," which seems to have sorta whistled him out, I found out. My voice is better, but it's not nearly as strong as when I was a teenager. I know that's the peak of your ballet years. Anyway, my voice may be better because of what my tennis teacher in Saint Augustine said all the time, you have to practice the right way because practicing the wrong way only makes it worse all the time and that it's really important. The 1 in Slidell said, "Play through any weather." I know where he's from, Rochester, NY. Also, I started to record. I don't know if I did most of my musical theatre singing before 16 or after 16, but I've done church music more than most normal people. My favorite as a child was children's music, but I wasn't fit for "Where is thumbkin?"

Singing is now only fun if you're prepared and have a superb, supple voice teacher. I wasn't really looking to take lessons any time soon, but I know I had a good organ teacher when I started lessons. I've had lots of experience of training in singing, and I feel it just keeps recycling with more beginners. I know singing pros give Master Classes. Singing is about making it and not at all about a singing coach. However, I did find of a good singing coach. Some go at it more slowly. I find that more emotional sorta regional stuff is more interesting.

I guess people do musical theater in order to do the dancing and singing and do the musical theater. I guess they don't do church music. I suppose opera was the big thing about being a voice major. Yes, voice majors can do some musical theater and we do but not very well. I find that it's more like vaudeville, which I did a project on.

Thanks for the tip, I'll remember again but don't believe I breathe from my gut. I use the big round vowels when I realize I'm at a voice lesson or singing in another language. So, that's the only tip. So, come to the workshop prepared and already singing without thinking about breathing from your gut and articulating. Well, I'm all about acting with your face like it's really important because I'm into art and all and photography of modeling and stuff, so I believe anything is okay in the face in technicality but that it must be pleasant or funny. Actually, I try not to scrunch my eyebrows. I do that when I'm embarrassed.

It's too bad Charlotte Church got bigger, but that's what happens. I'm guessing she wasn't athletic. It's easy to tell. I guess only people who did gymnastics or ballet or dance or cheerleading or dance team or something else maybe would know. I know in baton the marching is very hard and it's very hot in Southeastern Florida. I do believe she could be more childlike. She already has kids, I think, 2. A son and younger daughter, I think. They aren't like very childlike, just seem to be putting on a face, like they don't want to be like she was as a singer. I mean, she's the epitome of that spirit but denies it's right. I know she wanted to dance and people made fun of her and she stopped. A lot of fat people are like that, probably fat people or tall people, want to do something else like acting. It's just too hard to get that thin if you haven't been. I know Gelsey Kirkland was fat. My mom was actually fat at 1 point. Other than that, I know she changed to gymnastics and was #1 in the country, Indonesia. She wanted to be an ice skater, but she did ballet solos at church, like with the whole nativity or something of that nature rather painted in back. So, I know she was the skinniest kid and the fairest, too, "like a blonde," like so light. Here she is just seen as so like nice and too overly polite but not very white and not very respectful to the Mongoloid race. (Yes, she has a European connection and an English accent but not a strong 1 here.) So, Ginny, I just wanted to know about singers who start out skinnier like Charlotte Church or not. Then, since you're in theatre and worked with the puppets like your whole life was sure that ballet would be something you have knowledge of. I wanted to get taller again because I guess I thought I was too short. It seemed like I couldn't get that skinny and could not succeed as a ballerina. I just miss when I moved away from Florida, I used to be short and then was taller than the average block and then moved and was so short all of a sudden and not considered cool. I used to be 5'1" but now am 5'3". I was on medication so grew an inch. I stopped taking even doctoral medication. I did drama as a tween|teen, and being tall was an asset and something to be jealous of, but being short made you younger it has always seemed. It seems it's always best to be supple, as the answer. I don't know of people who are supple just because they're tall. I just don't think it's about hight. I think that it's best to eat and grow, though, so maybe I'm not much of a ballerina. The soloists are always like 4'11"-5'4". Supposedly, this is like being an ice skater, but this idea has died down. Ginny, you've inspired me. =] Maybe, film actors shouldn't be tall. Whoops, I should put these thoughts in my blog, but it's on topic to what you were saying. I wanna post this now and do something else. I hope your workshop went well. I'll see you in class on Tuesday, maybe edit my post.

Oh, here's me singing a classical song by Henry Purcell. =I

http://youtu.be/9I5vq_mzd-s

Look, also here's a video showing the improvements this weekend from the influence of your immaculacy:

http://youtu.be/fuanS4o2gPA

Facebook Post

http://www.facebook.com/ginny.kopf

Okay-

I just mean that no one else is talking to you and wasting time, I mean, I'm sure you have time.

I don't really know what you mean about a suggestion on my blog. I was just suggesting that a good field trip would be to Saint Augustine, the nation's oldest continuing city, in NE FL, just under Jacksonville. Other than visiting a theatre, it would be the best place. Since you're probably the best worker|employee at Disney, I'm sure that's the most sought after place of worship. I think I almost took a trip there with Valencia when I was 20. Saint Augustine. It's just that it was the kind of thing Orlando is interested in.

Well, I don't like to be interrupted, as far as if people posted to me every day on like some site. No one has directly spoken much with me. I would just probably hash out what's gone on in my head and my experiences. I usually analyze with what I can muster and have in the back of my memory the assurance or approval or proof that I have something to say and have more than 1 trick up my sleeve. I find the things I find out are about feelings. I pretty much find younger people to not have that much meat|rhythm. Older people don't e-mail much.

Facebook doesn't show all your posts to the public, just picks random posts from the past. The people I was interested in before apparently aren't good people. They said my impression was bad, and they've done this, before. I really don't get it because I'm a good person. I've just gotten mad, lately.

Yes, people read my blog, but if I put a counter on it it would load slowly. I put up a forum where the public can comment but no luck. I just have to organize it so I can keep track of what's interesting. You can't read all the comments in a list, it disappears, even on the reader apps I saw. Everyone's still on IMDb or maybe Facebook.

I don't have friends. I changed my accounts and we've stopped talking altogether. I used to talk to some of them more than they talked to me. Popular people don't notice me, for some reason, but are nice to me, so I don't get it.

BTW, I think I almost broke my ankle seeing "Mary Poppins," and I wouldn't have been able to do the homework but still have a day and caught up on sleep. My printers stopped working, and we're running out of money, I guess. Your homework sounded easy. I'll have to pull it out soon, feeling kinda hungry because of my ankle. It relaxed me, though, so I'm glad it happened, was funny. Actually, hitting a curb made it hurt a lot, and I did the same thing to the other 1 except on a curb and not stairs to the seat in the back row. Don't worry, though, though it did hurt a lot and stressed me out it doesn't hurt now so much, thought it'd take a week or a few days to die down though it wasn't too much a surprise for some reason. When I moved here, I wasn't getting the right|enough food like before. I was in my room all day online not feeling like going out and benefited from being alone probably. Should have gotten a refrigerator and microwave in the garage when we moved out of the 2nd apartment since the hurricane where we were before. So, I guess I fell and my ankle felt kinda rubbery but still usually I don't get hurt when these things happen. I finally did some core workouts recently, have done yoga in the far past. Guess it takes awhile to reap the benefits. It was probably too late and I had to take a break and just kept doing other things, taking walks, sleeping. At least, I'll be enrolled in weight training instead of tennis since it was too late. So, since I'm walking around fine I can do the homework when I relax at Valencia if for some reason I can't do it tomorrow.

Whoops, another long post, but you know it's better to be able to say more in less time. Only smart people who can go to college can do that. I don't mean anyone is, like, totally hopeless.

Ginny - I don't really understand why Facebook makes changes that everyone thinks is stupid and then waits and makes another change later rather than reaching all their goals at once, like making Facebook formattable like Blogger is and making it so it works out in public by option.

Okay, I'll keep blogging, maybe think of things to help me with this class. I post about it on my blog and I guess you don't have a site where I can post it to you. You know, like the fun side, the emotions, some of the traditional stuff maybe. I'll try not to double post too much, but if other people would post I'm sure it wouldn't matter. So, not sure what to do. Guess just make it look like it's your site more and wait for others to respond. Seems like I posted a lot under this topic. Have a good day at school tomorrow, it's already late, I have another day and have to eat more for my ankle but caught up on rest.

Problem

I feel that people have not given me like any opportunity in life, like they were born stupid and that's all they think can exist.  They think every thing I do is a sign, and the things they think are important, but no one knows for sure why and they know though that it is not the same as what they've been thinking and that no one deserves to be led into like being sentenced to death.  However, there are people who feel this is okay but will tell some people otherwise, when asked.  It doesn't really matter, but other people shouldn't be attacked to be expected to be better.  I mean, death is not good, but people think you find yourself in the afterlife though we don't know and should know that what we do on earth is important to us and to others.  We don't know if like dying would make it better.

My take is that people are all making fun of me for not being a ball of putty from up north and then saying everything I do wrong is wrong because of that and not thinking.  How can I trust anyone?  Everyone thinks that's the most brilliant thing.

Problem

Why am I getting the infiltration, like radio waves pickup, or like a static interruption from others of ideas that I'm not really prepared for or that are simply adverse?

Like, I know that maybe "what's" important is not something that you expect.  You don't even know though why but pretty much know why, in another way but you know not really just in case?  I guess if you don't know it must be sneaky and you have to figure it out or maybe it's not as bad if you'd know.  So, maybe some things are important.  Lies from people you know and bad ways of thinking ... do not impress me personally.

Settling for the Future

Why would you settle on an unpleasant idea, thinking it'd only apply to others?  Then, you find you just did it to shut them up.  I don't even know if that was some thing on purpose, sounds kinda abstract and constructed.  It could be a solid way of thinking in a different way.

So, I guess people settle for the future to impress.

Ate

This morning, I had 2 French bread pizzas, asked my dad for different kinds.  Then, later, they made me a hamburger and hot dog.  My dad put cheese on the hamburger, with the (Heinz) ketchup I asked for.  Then, I got some baby carrots and veggie dip and 2 giant Reese's.

I brushed my teeth twice and flossed the front, took my 2 chugs of water to swish.

Update

Hair - Wavy

People From Florida Analyzing Funny Things

People from Florida think it's funny to analyze finding out about something incredibly pleasurable.  I guess people from places other than Florida and California find a lot of comfort things unearthly amusing.  I'm sure they do both.  They are welcome to be appropriate and have a lot laid out.

Amusing Analyzations

Does Ginny Kopf find it amusing to analyze "kids" who want to be a problem, like feel bad about something?  Is that her light in her life, her *joy* and her *salvation*?  3D  Because it seems like it...

Update

I added another instrument.

Update

I reformatted it.

Update

I added my voice.  }=D

Update

Musical Instruments on the Left!

Americans

How do you feel about Americans chosing not to care about it being important to be comfortable learning the European ways and like connecting their heritage with the European countries they originated in, a long time ago?

Hmph! 34

My dad got me this really cute black cane with a foam handle and a dangling black lace on it ... but no crutches.  It's easier walking without anything.  This'll be fun in Acting I..  (Voice for the Actor, Acting I, & Thursday nights Improvisation..)

A Promise

Can you just promise .. to not be bad, like you are to me?

Piping In

Do you just not care about what some people say?

Weirdos

What do you think of people who are antsy and uptight in a weird way thinking they're English or something just in case the same thing they did happens later ... and like who then justify it with crap and you can't **** them?

People Who Move to Florida From Other U.S. States

I wonder if people who moved to Florida, their kids, think like actually expected to be told they were better than you when all is said and done based on the fact they're not from Florida.

Update

I added 2 sections to the section on the left, College & High School.

Bored

Tired yet interested in doing something like organizing my comment forum.

nu blog! 3D

Blogger!.

Issue

Why should we submit to bad people, like feel sorry for them when we get to a critical point and then stop, naturally, why should we beat ourselves for others who aren't as smart?

Welcome to my Blogger! 8D

Shower-Bathed

 I can pump on my broken ankle.

Problem

I JUST FOUND OUT YOU'RE ALL A PIECE OF SHIT OBSESSED OVER MY DAD FOR NO REASON JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE JEALOUS OF WHAT I HAVE AND MY MOM IS NOT TECHNICALLY ALL EUROPEAN.

Problem

I'm trying to concentrate in private and have homework in theater and may have a hard time hobbling around school printing it out..  I also have to involve another person!  I would never do that.  Anyway, people are like bothering me in private sending me suggestive messages, really, and it seems to sorta make me tired.  Like, the technology does funny things, and people are interested.  It's true, though I know it doesn't seem like it.

Problem

I'm getting more bs that kids want me to prove that if I were in their shoes I'd get mad and blame someone for something in real life even if I found out ... "they didn't 'do it.'"

Wow, Ginny Kopf, is this what you do on the weekend?  How am I supposed to do your homework if I broke my ankle?

Problem

So, what, are these annoying whiny insults coming from Ginny Kopf talking to my parents or is it someone else?

Problem

Yesterday, when I got back the 1st time, there was a fat lady with a skinny head in front, fluffy dyed hair.  She was tilting her head sarcastically because I don't think I should tell people I missed "Supercalifragilisticexpalidocious."  You know, every time.  I could hear it loud and clear from the stalls.  It had just ended, so I saw them lined up.  I was annoyed because there's no way I could sit there and not have an insulting thought come to my mind hit hard.  It's just what happens.  I really don't want to do that, remember???  So, she tilted her head and made me think of my mom's nose being stupidly smooth like a slide like a triangle!  Oh no, that's not okay.  I be that thought is floating above her head.  And then, her neck popped and I think it still freaks my mom out.  I felt my mom doing something with her nose, too, and I'm not sure what happened now.  It doesn't seem okay, to me.  The problem is she's so sorry for other people and thinks you should make a big deal out of stuff like this, when it's not really what you're supposed to pay attention to.  I don't want to say this every time much less have to remember nor that I will.  I won't.  I mean, that's that.  You won't say it every time you list what plays or musicals you've seen.

At the Show, Yesterday

Actually, the 1st time I got up was to put water in my left eye after "Feed the Birds."  I thought it would be good if I were in that section.  When we clapped, for some reason I clapped louder when she came out.

My Hurt

It doesn't hurt, but I can't stand on 2 feet. It bends much better.  I had a nice, light Chinese food and slept for like 6 and 14 hours.  I was planning on sleeping, anyway, but this is good.  At least, I don't feel as agitated about that theater segment.

Problem

All my problems are that people are being mean to me like killing me and boring in hatred for what other bad kids suffered as unforgivingness from older people, and these people are not suffering for it.  Them being shitty does not equal mistreatment, anyone knows.

Dreams

It's hard to remember my 1st dream.  Oh, yes, I thought my old choir director, Mrs. Campo, was murdered.  It was my fault, somehow, I guess because I'm indian.  So, I found her, and she was carrying me quite a lot with my hurt ankle.  It was interesting how I connected.  Before, Ellen DeGeneres was carrying me with my hurt ankle and I was thinking about being rubbed.  There was another dream where I was trying to **********.  My dad's youngest sister and little girl cousin, the aunt told me to be more comfortable in the bathroom.  When I went in the bathtub, I looked from behind the curtains and the light was on and she had come in then left.  The next dream, I was on a long long walking bridge, strong, like a dream.  I remember there were 3 boys, 1 maybe his name started with a Z.  1 was Tim Burton's son.  I talked to him, and he was really nice and cute.  He was small with dark hair.  I was with several adults.  I know Helena Bonham Carter was there, and she was taller than me by several inches and more rotund and healthy.  I got up thinking I wanted to put how her round, chubby daughter squaked as she picked her up.  After awhile, I said she was the most European person here and went up to her and maybe or probably started to put my arm around her.  I guess she was putting her arm around me and stuff for a long time, with my hurt ankle, which isn't really hurt now, and in different ways.  For some reason, I was thinking of old movies like Singing in the Rain or An American in Paris, which I thought of seeing Mary Poppins yesterday.  Eventually, she picked me up because of my ankle, for a long time.  I made a strong connection with her dad being all English and then with the rest of her race being Spanish and Jewish.  I'm not sure what was most memorable.  I guess my hurt ankle and seeing her as most European.  I did see maybe an all English blonde with slick hair, and I guess for some reason it didn't matter to me.  ***  So, I guess you can imagine how it was.  I don't remember all the details.  I guess I felt kinda knocked out a bit but nothing really bad, like I went in and wasn't afraid to process things.  Before, I think I felt a bit worn and unable to experience.  This time, I was kinda not fully developed, still.  When I was looking to see if she was murdered, it was very depressing and something I had to accept.  I was worried that it had to do with me not stopping it and causing it.  It was sorta a dark, trashy, more sharp slum area, more orangey and like with slits of other things.  The bridge was big, like an old dream, and weighted down, quite a lot, though it didn't seem to affect me as much as it could, like I was dead in a way partly.  It was a thick bridge.  We were sitting on the side.  There were like maybe 3 wires and a window with cement on the outside.  It was very strong, like a building or street, very thick, seemed so stable but uh-oh not really invincible.  So, Helena Bonham Carter was wearing a dress, which was maybe was like brownish with certain colors like orange or blue or green.  So, Helena Bonham Carter was saying "David" because her dad is all English a few times.  Also, I went in the bathroom to lock the door.  I can't even close my garage door because of a chord in the way.  I guess with the choir director we were down in a low area that was kinda yellowy-orangey-maybe gray.  I had told someone about a Cathedral that seemed good but not the best, you know 1 of 3.

Family Sides

I just realized my dad's side of the family has always acted like they hate me for their side, maybe because his sisters are younger, and my mom doesn't like try to make me unsuccessful because of it.

Back

I watched Mary Poppins and am back but tired and dirty.  I had a jumbo hot dog for $7, but it's not like a long hot dog.  I also had a triple fudge brownie which tasted like candy and even like a nut, like chocolate sorta cool, light tan nut, for $3.50.

So, I got up and came back at the end of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" (didn't have to look up the spelling.)  I had to go to the bathroom.  Then, I think I left again to change my female thing.  I had already come in late from eating.  I tripped and almost broke or did something like stretched my ankle on the dark, thin stairs, to the last row.  I was pretty fine.  I had to limp but not always.  I went back to the bathroom and changed my female thing with my mom, who didn't want to go back though we had to sit down.  The 2nd time I came back they were doing "It's a Jolly Holiday With Mary," apparently an ending.  The 2nd time we got back had another coincidence.  There was maybe some coincidence.  I know once I moved and I knew what the man, a fat man, was gonna say, and I think he knew I'd knew ... I mean I moved just like the word he was about to say and it seemed I made the move before he did.  It sounded the same.  So, I walked well back.  Then, we left after the bows quickly.  I saw a girl wearing hot pink and black stripes and tripped on my other ankle from a curb, which I've often hit, especially at church.  It hurt a little, but I was fine walking on both legs.  However, I accidentally hit another curb and had to start limping.  I came home and fell asleep.  My ankle started to hurt so much.  Now I have to hop on 1 foot.

I had a creepy dream.  There was 1 where I was hanging around trying to get in maybe Ballet I and Voice.  Finally, I saw Ellen DeGeneres, and she was tall and put, vaguely, her arm around me.  She looked like me, her chest.  I wasn't having fun hopping, so she picked me up and I kept piling higher and I later realized maybe she was kissing my foot.  I had another creepy dream but forget.

I thought of going to the ER, but I really don't think they'd do anything to me.  If anyone knows, let me know.  It feels like it won't go dead forever.  I mean, yea, I might get tired waiting at the hospital.  They might give me medidince but shouldn't be too bad, though it may affect me adversely enough, as it has.  It seems it will take a few days or week.  I guess I will just hop around.  I have a cane from home.  It might be too much money to get crutches.  I guess not, but I'm not sure where my dad'd get them.  I wanted a wheelchair, but it seems crutches work.  My ankle is stiff.  Too bad they don't come to your house.  I guess they'd want an X-Ray, though I don't think I broke a bone.  Anyone have any idea of what's going on?

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Going to Bed

Problem

If you see my dad, he's not always mean.  I guess he does his damage and then just keeps sucking up.  He thinks you have to be this and that to be approved racially, like be really careful.  He also doesn't want you to be comfortable and is antsy about when you feel in private.

Problem

I just thought of putting a thick dagger in my mom.

ANNOYED

I had my dad's chord mouse for like a month.  He just didn't get me a mouse again before..  He was gonna let me use his gym bag.  Now, it seems he gave me his alarm clock.  There are other useless, insulting messages attached.  I just don't have the sexual interest in him like that.  I don't think he's good enough for me in that way.

Problem

Stop being mean to me when I make a statement, doing it more.

STOP JUST TRYING TO MAKE ME MAD.  YOU DON'T EVEN CARE IF I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.  MAYBE YOU CAN'T REMEMBER THAT.  DON'T GET ME TO JUST USE BAD WORDS.

Problem

How will Ellen DeGeneres get anywhere just always sucking up to not get in trouble for who she is, even though she isn't bad?  BAD NEWS?  ELLEN DEGENERES ISN'T BAD.

Facebook Profile Photo

I edited my Facebook profile photo.

Facebook

Facebook

I put my old Facebook up.

Certain Racial Mixes

People who mix with the French, certain mixes, are whiners.  Even someone who is ½ Dutch is spoiled.  With the French, what I liked is all the **** people and also the brilliance of their culture.  Flat out state why you magnet the race.  It's always been people thought French and Italian was like the button rocky like black people.  They also think they're dark.  I've only seen dark and dirty Spanish people.  The blondes I've seen are fat.  Christina Aguilera is tacky and ungrateful, yet racist, a stupid Pennsylvanian, though I don't mean to really say the real Christina is stupid.

Problem

So, why are we sitting here doing stupid things, like imagining people doing things we don't like, even if we imagined them before?  Hm.

Problem

Stop testing what I do and threatening people because of what I do.

My Race

I forgot, I AM WHITE.

Your Race

I guess if I was white you'd still like me.

Distrust

Why should I trust you?  You wouldn't go around being mean to some little white girl just in case you are mean by accident.  I don't like people acting like they have control over me.  However, sometimes, I think it's funny if I'm mature.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

I just tried to stimulate myself, worried something might happen, but it didn't.  '8D

Success Stories

If I can't succeed because of my race, who can?  I tried.

I Wonder Wonder Wonder ---

I wonder about people who think they're whiter and more attractive but who don't do it but think they flat out of you?

Facebook Post

Ginny Kopf

So, nice class|es, Ginny..  I was thinking it'd be nice to go on a field trip to either Saint Augustine (the nation's oldest continuing city in Northeastern Florida) or Key West.  I was gonna do cross country in college, and we were gonna go to Disney 1st.

At Disney World, history teachers and everyone claim to want to go to see the countries at Epcot.

In Saint Augustine, I know it's a nice place to hang around.  I might take organ in the summer, and I'm sure, since I lived there 9-12 and was an accompanist sorta prodigy, they'd love to have me do something.  The choir that used to be there for kids did caroling outside and at the Cross and Sword Amplitheatre, and there's a concert hall by a rich man's stuff..

Maybe, Key West.  I was thinking any place that someone is from would be of interest.  I just know that I like going back to Saint Augustine.  In Florida, I mean, what, most people who go to Fort Lauderdale don't make it.

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So, I wonder if we're gonna see any plays.  I don't know about that.  Valencia probably has a performance class.  I didn't particularly notice it, but I don't think I could do it.

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Well, we might have a visiting play.  I saw an ad for Mary Poppins.  She has a pretty voice.

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Anyway, I just kinda wonder like that a theater or history class would have the teacher take the kids to Saint Augustine if they live in Florida.

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So, I realize that Ginny is from San Fransisco.  I have some or maybe a lot compared to anyone else other than people from there or mothers from there, too, culture from Pennsylvania, northwestern, near other places in the Midwest..  However, my family moved to and I think 1 ancestor is from Southwestern New York state..

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I think that it would be fun if anyone would want to go on a ghost tour with me?  I mean, I'm sure it'd be worth it.  I did go on the Key West ghost tour.  I'm sure we wouldn't want go to Miami.  I lived in Altamonte Springs, and I remember thinking about Miami..

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I don't really understand the fascination with the "Circ de Soleil."  What about Disney World getting back its parade and working on Fantasyland expansion?..that should be really cool.

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I don't seriously mean like I want the class to go somewhere I used to live for me.  I'm just putting it out there that it's something that a class would go to and that classes do go on field trips.  I think I almost went on a trip there.  I had a lot of fun with my best friend from New Jersey.  I have 3 best friends: Boston, New Jersey, San Fransisco.  However, we weren't like knit together.  I mean, I've had friends before.  I also met a girl from L.A. who was in the other 6th grade, and then I moved.  I'm guessing that got me into Tim Burton.  The funny thing is the girl from New Jersey went to Disney more than once a year for more than 1 day.  The girl from San Fransisco worked there with the Disney College program, twice, I think.  She was a janitorial staff, there.  They told me that we could do puppets if we got in, like for The Little Mermaid.  Finding Nemo is cool but doesn't have music...

---

I'll probably see Les Misérables myself more.  I guess I have to wait and see myself sing "Master of the House," again.

Problem

I think there's a vent or heater in my room that's talking all the time, now.

Problem

Look, stop making all the attention I get be about associating bad things with things that are important to me to do with other people.

Edit

I added a description.

Mobile

I'm going mobile tonight.

nu video of me 3D

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New Set Photo

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nu photos of me! 3D

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Facebook Post

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Sorry I'm making another post but just want to say hope Ginny made it home safely. Did everyone at Seminole and Valencia have good classes? I hope the weekend will refresh me. I had a therapist appointment Wednesday and slept all day and took a walk. We talked about something that bothered me in class. I don't want appointments on Fridays and probably not on the weekend. So, I go to school in the morning and take Weight Training and was gonna do homework and take a walk around during the day. I did tennis growing up and tried to get into that when weight training was canceled for the week, but I found it was too late to register. I had planned on doing it in the summer and wanted weight training this semester but lost interest when I thought about playing tennis, instead. I'm not sure if weight training is harder than the 2 hour health class, but I really wanted weight training. It's like ropes, jogging, and weight machines. I used to do a weight class, but I feel I got more a workout with the college machines. I'm not even sure how we're all gonna fit. I guess this would be good if I took ballet 1. So, what are you doing in the summer, guys? I want to do organ but only know of 1 thing I have prepared. I guess I threw the rest away, but with organ usually they never expect much because people start it maybe from piano or singing at 15. That's when a lot of singers start, around 17, but maybe it's just me. So, yes, like before and more, I think about my classes. So, I mean, playing a musical instrument is good and you know if you like music or know classical music. Church is old-fashioned. I know I could play for a mass because I can sight read supposedly for my level well and can easily add chords on piano fluidly, "like milk." I saw an organ at a Jewish temple. So, this class is very successful. It's a social class. I'm getting used to being around people. It's very friendly. It's not perfect.

Thank you for letting me post here. I'm upset that I'm the only one. I hope it's okay, I didn't make these posts 3 days in a row. The last 1 was asking an important question about class. The 1st was a long time ago, and this seems to be the general 1st week of class post.

Mad

I asked my dad to take me to school. My car didn't come. I keep getting problems. My phone is being weird. People are being and acting mean to me thinking it clears their conscience.

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Problem

Should we have listened to the flawed logic of the people in Florida?

Parents All-Knowing

What about parents who aren't in tune with morals but are about "what" they did and how they don't get along with their mothers?

The Facts of Race

If Tim Burton is "on" race, he should be able to deal with it.  I guess it is a "nightmare," but I mean I guess he is onto something.  He isn't interested in the facts.

Edit

I took the comment option off the Labels Page.

Facebook Post

So, now, I'm just wondering about wearing nail polish because I grew up finding it embarrassing and I guess nasty. I thought it was unnatural. I'm kinda like zonked into worshipping it. See, I didn't ever grow up with long nails but sometimes just had like barely any white but didn't have like pink skin or something.. I know black kids like to wear nail polish and adults. I don't know why. I just saw Chloë Grace Moretz wearing it and changing it maybe every week or something. I saw Johnny Depp's former wife or girlfriend had short nails and I noticed mine were getting shorter because I had gotten fatter in the past. All else I can figure is that in the future nail polish will just be "some thing," and, yes, we'll have to answer for the truth to our actions and risks and go through with the answer. I know in school we weren't supposed to wear nail polish. I used to cut my nails shorter because I felt made fun of for having tan skin and pink nails. I guess the reason I wear nail polish is because my ring finger nail is shorter so I mean it looks okay. Also, my fingers are still developing and are pretty ugly from being a pianist. I always thought I had attractive hands and found no reason to grow my nails though no they weren't too short.

So, I was just wondering if it was appropriate for actors at a community college to wear nail polish. I'll just answer my own question. I'm just putting it out there. I decided that I'd wear fake nails if I became a model or something. ... I did notice Lily Rose Melody Depp, when she came to L.A. as a pretween had like pink at the base of her nails.. I had so many problems that my nails, it seemed like at my thumbs the white was too much. Also, when I came back from a month at Lakeside, my nails looked like they were falling off. I had been in my room all the time for 3 years, I think. I was posting online or maybe sitting there thinking about the internet.. I know that people in Orlando were really mean to me until they knew that a "popular" person liked me and could test them because of his race or maybe how smart or strong his dad was. So, I can conclude that no one has perfect parents because they can't seem to get mad at mine. It's an issue with race with my mom but with no success and with my dad how like if say my mom were white he wouldn't be as attractive as her. I'm already in trouble at my birth! I just won't play games. The other important thing is that you don't dress up like appropriate for an actor because the things aren't available and nail polish seems to match or maybe someday I'll regret this. It was actually so that my longer nails would look better compared with the base and because I don't believe in living in fake nails. A lot of people believe in clear nail polish. I also believe that ... okay, when I did piano I had short nails and I was a different person. If we wear nail polish, people who have short nails have an option. Why not match your clothes if not wear light pink? I guess all I can say is that it looks better. It's because people do go around in the world and wear it.

Sorry, my post was so long, but I just thought it was an important issue I've gone through. I mean, if it's okay, I don't really want anything hanging in the air. I just answered my own question, but sorry it was so long and not all about theater, technically. I was just worried about the rules. I also was thinking that this isn't really about film acting, but maybe theater is. I guess in some cases far away you wear light pink nail polish or on film maybe even fake nails, though all fake nails have big square tips. I had been thinking a lot that actors should wear nail polish and then they take it off when they do the performance. Maybe, it's because it's more work, like a dancer not wearing a tutu to train. All I can also say is that day to day wearing no nail polish is probably good and that well sometimes I don't really not wear nail polish, but sometimes I don't get enough relaxation. For some reason, dancers seem to look better without nail polish. I guess it's just I've lived a long life, and I didn't wear nail polish. I know I'd wear nail polish to gymnastics or to a sport, but I don't do sports. However, in dance I wouldn't have any whites to my nails. I used to always keep them with no whites. So, yes, sorry my post was so long, but I just wanted to address an issue, could have said I posted it in my blog, but I guess you can click to read more on Facebook. So, I was just worried about the rules and answered my own question. Thanks! Have a nice class, speakers at Seminole and actors at Valencia.

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This post failed.

My last post failed...  I ran into the teacher in the bathroom twice and stepped like Hungarian Rhapsody, Bugs Bunny on piano ... I'm pretty sure.  Lso, my hair glowed with the Fructis curl scrunching gel.

Mobile

Problem

I feel like I'm m**********.  I think I felt like I had to hit myself for being happy about the teacher.  3D

Problem

Why do you think it's my dream to be punished?

New Posts! 3D

I just added some failed posts.

1st Class

As I walked around Orlando, though I hadn't slept, I kept thinking of the kids in the class like eventually the entire time and laughing at my day's adventures.  I wasn't so much thinking of how pretty I was.. nor about how the teacher looked..  So, when I got in the bath, I thought of what I thought of the teacher and probably other things I don't really remember.  But I was tired and got into bed.  I fell asleep right away, avoided thinking about her, and woke up, finally got out of bed after maybe over 12 hours.  Too bad I was partly awake a lot of that time.  Now, I have to call for transportation!  I thought it was 24 hours but guess it's 1 day.

Dream

I know what came up that I didn't have to think of was like seeing police on the side of the road.  In the end, I came up to a bookshop with a short, very fat lady, guess it reminds me of the state of health I was in when I moved here.  She told me never to go to this like gated off section of children's books.  Instead, I looked for another section she said I could look at facing the front in the back with adolescent books, which looked remotely interesting.  I saw a clever picture with a big bear but then 4 smiling like dogs that looked more like people, which were a bit smaller.  I think I was hiding.  I had  gotten out of my house.  I was mad I switched bodies with my cousin, though it was not a concrete idea.  She had a milky white body with like maybe bluish hair, and I was small and brown with brown eyes.  Her eyes are gold, like my aunt's husband's son's.  So, I had a sorta dreamy, surreal feeling and went outside and was worried about the police.  I was on a bed, maybe before, on the side, like a big, maybe white quilted bed.  In the end, I think I was walking.  Also, in my dream, I believe were family and extended family, like grandma maybe, maybe both aunts.  I wish I could remember before.  It felt like I was in a place where I could buy stuff.  There was a lot before.  I mainly remember a big segment, too, where I was in my cousin's body.  I felt like myself doing something else, like a Russian doll.  I was in a big, empty, sorta maybe house with a bluish tint, kinda like a haunted, gray dusty place, on the floor, feeling kinda weird.  There was a like tall kitchen counter where you could sit at like on a bar stool.  There was a place on the side and probably a big window covered with a plastic curtain.  There was a big kitchen.  I guess the arrangement mocked that of where I lived in the oldest continuing city.  I guess the bedrooms were in the same place, and the living room was behind us.  The neighborhood was similar.  We did live by a used bookstore.  I remember once I saw a book with a cat carrying a tiny cat who maybe was just waking up or opening its eyes.  It was so cute.  I was so upset I couldn't get my body back and progress, but my cousin was happy.

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I told the blonde to do a backwards summersault. I had gotten an Oreo crumbly, the only shake.

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