Monday, February 18, 2013

Upset

My shampoo, conditioner, and shower gel is missing, as well as my hair straightener that works on wet hair..  My parents are running out of money for me.  Also, at the mall, you can see someone straightened 1 side of my hair.  Did you know people think it's a joke?  If they were here I'd just w*** them in the h***, so better lay off..

hw

So, I'm taking a break and wondering what to do. I'm doing open gym at a gymnastics place, tonight for an hour, for adults, 9:30 P.M. I can recite my stuff but have a hard tine going straight through it, whoops, have another 1 for tomorrow. Just need to stay positive, plan to pick it up, soon.

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Just follow the black people

Every weak thing do the European thing.

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Nose Change

The opposite with the rest of the Chi nese.

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Get Comf

I'd stay here for the shit or for Ginny's acclaim. If you're stuck cheer (here,) find out who you want to get close to or why you don't move to Southeastern Florida for the beach or matbe somewhere else for the casinos. I would want to stay here for Ginny for me. I do want to travel, like LV. :)

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Ginny

Ginny has lose, warbly fat .. Doesn't eat "shew gar" (sugar.). Its consistency is thin, but the layer is very thick, like a whale. Is she actually involved in the Disney parade returning

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Why I'm Cute

I look cute because of that cute boy but still am the same person.

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Nail Polish

I have on bright orange red nail polish, ike a milky red, to go with the PotC outfit, have on my Chinese zodiac.

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Class

So, I have to work on memorizing my stuff. I guess in my spare time, after I pack. I mean, I might.. wait can't load a video. :/ Why do I feel put in a singing major class?

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On the Van

Had my breakfast. Vitamins finally. Feel good.

Almost wasn't gonna do the ballet group or class bc I thought I'd do it like a few hours each morning, maybe just at 5 AM, so you could shower? If not, 5:42 A.M. I didn't want it to all be combos and things at the bar, want to do athleticism.

So, are Late Boom mature because I got informed because of my race that I was being forward in my attempts. They think we have to be like "our parent generation.". That's Early Boom. The only thing is women might marry 10 years older. I found nice boys in England.

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How I Feel

I don't really want to go to bed, want to finish cleaning, but guess I have to.  Why does something always happen, though?  My life turned into an experiment.  Finally, I got rid of more stuff, though, and have more organizational logic, like getting a plastic set of drawers and know about clearing my room, I guess.  I'm in the garage, though.  Why do I feel regular old tired?

Pretty Clean

Most of my room is pretty clean, guess I will have a fetish and finish tomorrow, maybe, getting home around maybe 5 or 6 P.M.  Have quite a bit to memorize.  Have to see if I have other homework and have journal..  The cleaning isn't too bad but something I'd like to do in my spare time.  Not sure what I will do with my parents home, just make do, I think, put things in things.  Take them out.  So, I'll get a bit of sleep.  I just had to rush and like put things like old tickets on boxes and such.  It seems everything will easily go somewhere..  So, I'm working on this script, won't have it polished, to perform Thursday, rehearse today and tomorrow, though.  Don't have the blocking down.  It's just that it's like Acting I so like a trial experience.  Guess it was good working with people, worth it, after all.  It just made it so it wasn't all 1 big monologue, made sense to work with them, I guess..  That just sorta gave me commoradity in memorizing.  See, I read it on the way home the 1st day, had some issues, and now I'm like working on it more but have it pretty comfortable.  My messy room just bothered me, maybe had to get up and do something.  I might feel fidgety cleaning the rest of my room, more specific things rather than just diving into plastic bags.  Still, I mean, it's not more than what I've done.  I won't be happy til it's done, have my bathroom next, maybe for Wednesday, unless I'm stuck reading my script, maybe even won't clean tomorrow.  Feels like I'll have something Friday.  Just will clean for exercise, to make me feel like I'm working..  So, then, I'll clean this weekend..  Don't have anything else big now.  Either tomorrow and then my bathroom, nothing on Wednesday, or this weekend.  Ugh, have to pack for tomorrow, too.. might not feel like it since my room isn't clean, though it isn't too too hard, just forgot ot place my chapstick, new chapstick, don't see it now.  I found it.  I left the room.  I feel weary, ready to sleep.  So, I'll wake up at 9:20 A.M.?  That's 5 hours.  I'll go watch the girl, go practice, go home, clean, work on the script for Thursday, go to bed and get ready and go to school!  Didn't realize didn't have to memorize for tomorrow though would be nice.  Shouldn't have had a rough start, but it wasn't my fault, though, so dunno.  No one should be thinking about that bit.  I mean, we didn't do much with some things we did earlier, I know.  Good thing, I guess.  It seems all we're doing is memorizing..  She's a good teacher.

Cleaning My Room

Working on the table, looks good, cleared the bags from the floor and other things there.  It seems I just need to stack some things, hope to do it tonight.  :|  Will be nicer to study, air purifier would be nice.  Used to have some fair incense.  Laundry.  3)

What's going on?

Why do people say I'm tacky to enjoy myself?  What's going on?

Problem

So, I wonder why people are nice to me?

Anyway, if it was important like that Ellen DeGeneres not be tacky, I mean wouldn't it be important, not to do it to punish someone, that's the issue she stopped at.  ,:|

Now, what?

More studying????

Er, I need|want|desire to clean my room..also I guess that I should eat a salad.  I wonder what else I should eat.  My dad|mom could bring me Panera Bread, tomorrow..why am I so fat?  I just had a sammich at the gas station.  It was such a cold, crisp night.  I wanted to come in and work out some more to drain my stomach..  8p  My m*********** is feeling kinda warm and moist, like ointment, kinda at a chill factor, like not substantial, like sorta balls of fat, I guess.  I always have a problem with urinating, like the feeling comes and people look at me now.  Eating more prevents it, though.  :|  Why do I need like a lot of salad?  I just started weight training, just doing it 1 semester..  I don't feel like eating out so much so soon, though, just need something on campus..

Feeling as Good as Any 1 Person

The thing is you have to make people feel as good as a child celeb..

Alert! Alert!

I've uncovered Ginny..  Thinking @ Tim Burton's morals of living a life that's challenging, good, with the aesthetic opportunity..

She thinks it's okay to be disrespectful..

hw

I memorized 10 sentences in a total of like 10 + 2 minutes today, plus went through it before..  Memorizing is a fun game.. guess it's a skillbuilder thingy.

Problem

So, I was in the car with my mom, and she got me mad.  I don't know why.  It doesn't matter because people are always acting like I have to do weird things to get attention.  Now, I can't even think about it.  You know, that makes me mad.  I just wanted to say you all have shit kids.

Thought of Something

I was distracted doing my monologue because I got a sore throat??

Anyway..

I was wondering.. Ginny's mom is from California, so.. and her Pennsylvanian generation stems back in the 50s and no further beyond.  Why should I think she has an inkling of anything in the morals of a place that supposedly isn't the bottom tier ranked in education .. wait, Ginny is in the bottom tier ranked state for education.  I mean, I'm qualified to have the fun I have.  I find her to be like other romantics in Orlando, just telling you they're treating you the way you've treated someone 1 time, for fun..like there is no way that could ever happen.. :[  I'm sorry, but that really is the thing.  Everyone has always looked up to me.  You can't suddenly say I look up to you.  You can't just say it, for good.  I've changed, but I've not changed as who I am, kinda kept myself from weird people who don't want to think weird things.  It seems like I wouldn't fit in anywhere.  I've always been "the brains."  It just seems it's become an issue, like oh well my dad isn't sexy or my mom isn't white.  My mom is like a Hispanic or French Canadian.  :|

Worried

I guess I should do that voice assignment.  I totally forgot about it.  I have a group project to hopefully have memorized today.  I guess I should try at least some of the voice assignment.  I need to check over what's for homework, too.  Also, I need to know the page numbers for the voice packet!.  :|  The teacher leaves right after..

xp

I so need to clean my room, don't feel like sleeping, gotta wake up at 9:30 A.M.  My bathroom, my laundry.  Guess I will start clearing and organizing my room, not too hard..?

I almost cut my bangs but combed it all back. . . .  It just looks bad when greasy, I mean..

I have another question, why are people, like young people, from Pennsylvania and Wisconsin so gay, like they're witches but not like cutting?  I had to work hard to become cutting.  Who cares about the "crap from New Jersey and Boston?"  New Orleans is not cutting..they make points but not like the end result.  They really do side with people from certain areas and pretend it's about race..in a way it's not.  :|  HA!

While I'm just kinda here maybe .. something .. I'd been wondering, you know, like why say I sound corny when I'm not, like if I posted HA! at a certain time?

Sunday, February 17, 2013

So, it happened.

Ellen has been seen as a bad person.  No way out.

That Says

I grew up being told I was more well-behaved than anyone else.

2 Mucinex


Back

Shower-Bath  :|

Ballet @ 5 AM

I will teach. 3I

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How I'm Doing

Had sore throat drops, studied in pieces and doing well in grasping the memorizing better and better for Thursday, 3 pages of parts.

So..gonna go for a jog, without weights so I go fast.

Tootle, pip-

Ate

Pizza, 1 Slice Left, Hours Ago, wanted healthy pizza will ask for the orange box next time, was Red Baron pepperoni

I wonder wonder wonder

I wonder what other weird things this person did..  I told you people in New Orleans suburbs are weird, and they have connections with the city..

Well, he didn't really participate adamantly.  He was kinda twisty.  He talked to me but left and now doesn't talk to me since Facebook came out but looks different from being gay..Ellen is gay.  She isn't disgusting.  So, it must be something else.  Gays are disgusting, the males.  I guess boys need girls.  I think no one liked me because I was short.

People were so mean to me all growing up, and my family is good, so I'm not gonna sit here and feel sorry for him for acting like I'm a nigger.  I think he's attractive!  Like Ellen DeGeneres.

If you didn't get it, pretty much that would mean in some literal way that people are just mean to nice people and then judge you racially, like..

"No One Cares"

So, no one cares about anything since Tim Burton.  There was this really cute boy I cared about, but people were suggestive to him about how good he was.  He did it to himself, made himself disgusting, and acted like it was good peoples's faults, and adults think that they are better than him because of that.  I don't mean just that literally, but that's like an excuse.  (?)  So, no one really seems to care how anyone feels about what happened to this boy..because of Tim Burton and Johnny Depp.

People like Ellen DeGeneres just have a tendency to feel in the end it's you feeling bad about the person.  She wants to feel on top.  She doesn't really want anyone to feel bad, in any way.

Facebook Like

Photo of Old Music Teacher in Nation's Oldest Continuing City

Outsmarting

Did you ever think that people just don't want you to outsmart them, like if something seems insulting?

Singers Who Know Music

So, I was gonna do Composition with singing as an instrument but didn't make it.  It seems organists who sing are no good.  8-|

Yesterday

1 of the guys there ... he shooed us outta the room. We went downstairs, and I took the pictures of the southern couple in the bathroom.  He was pulling out his cellphone in the distance with someone and getting water from these little outlets all over that looked like coffee machines.  He looked like my 2nd of 3 sets of choir directors at the church in Louisiana..  He also worked in the office.

Re:

I said thanks and sent a smiley face with a triangular smile.

E-Mail

I just got an e-mail about organ @ Valencia.

Me on Flickr

I edited Set 1.

Rest

Guess I'll go lie down..leaving @ 10:30 A.M., gonna watch someone sing..be back in the afternoon and going to bed, I guess.

2 Mucinex Pills

not to exceed 12 per day I think

Mo' 3D

I mean, I've been jogging with weights.  At my age, there's nothing to do..  It seems you have to be a ballerina already to be involved in schools at an older age..  I'd get stuck in bad classes.

What should I do?

I'm doing Weight Training this semester in the mornings, in the summer gymnastics starting Level I M-F 1 hour a day, then wondering in the fall when I take 2 classes from Ginny what I will do in the mornings to exercise.  I guess I'll take her Seminole classes, after that.  She might do something different, later.

Problem

Ellen DeGeneres doesn't shit around with Generation Z, like she acts all weird it seems in private that my dad made me do something, like I have to be connected to him.  The thing is she doesn't do that to others.  It's like maybe I'm so bad, but I'm actually so good, but if I'm so good I can't be so bad..

Problem

Why does my dad think it's precious to be mean to me and act like French diarrea and go all flippant and retarded?  I'll wonder if anything's wrong and he'll act smarter, like he has nothing better to offer.

Problem

My dad keeps getting the groceries wrong.

He didn't get a healthy pepperoni pizza...  I guess I should say in the orange box...

Problem

Do you know why I lost my Louisiana culture??..  Don't go all flippant, retarded on me.

I moved to apartments and I guess was tired of dieting, and then it was just gone.  I used to be the same person.

I guess Cleveland was a big ransacked but still.

My life turned to crap, though.  I came back from Loyola, and it was more uncomfortable.  I don't know why.  I just lost rapport, and I wanted to get online.

Why

Why did my dad get me sugar free sore throat drops?  That's the kind he had.  He seems mad that I'm healthier.

2 Mucinex Pills

for sore throat. 3I

Problem

My parents are such *beeps*  My mom came up to me all stupid and niggerish and made my eyes feel pressure like I was shit.  Just *beep* her.  Also, I didn't do anything to Ellen DeGeneres's mom.  If she weren't her mom, I wouldn't especially care about her, but I didn't do anything to her!  What are you doing creeping in here like Tim Burton and messing with my thoughts?

See, my mom acted like she put her eyes around my head in a perverted way.  I don't need to be stimulated by her.  Get these worthless children outta here!  I don't need to be like the rest of the world, and I'm not.

Need Rest


New Video & Photos

YouTube & Flickr

I just bought the YouTube downloader on my Blackberry.

1 more video of my audition, will load more pictures later I guess but not many..and video I think.

Problem

So, why are people messing with how I feel about what I've done compared to others?  What they did truly was worthless.  There, take that.

Ate. 3I

I had tai food, green curry and white rice.

I also had 2 Mixed Berry Ricola cough drops.. and .. cold water before without ice ..

Now, waiting for my medicine and new cough drops, these ones were chewy.

Problem

I don't care to be analyzed for how my thoughts aren't all cut and basic.  I don't like being picke don by niggers.

Problem

Stop, talking back to me.  Why am I getting weird messages of how Ellen DeGeneres can't hold in her morals?  Look, I don't give a shit for my violent thoughts, you're associating bad memories like it doesn't matter.  Well, do it in the open, you *beep*

Problem

My dad just got up.  I was just getting my toilet paper.  He won't stop bothering me.  He doesn't talk to me, you worthless, Goddamn niggers.

Facebook Post

Thanks, lucky I got to put this together. I guess the most useful picture would be the 1 of the girl sleeping, but the most proper 1 is the 1 of the girls taking their visit to the beach.

Sore Throat

So, I ate the cookie, lie on my side, and got a sore throat.  I was probably just feeling bad, but I still suspected that someone did it.

I'm getting incessant, annoying, symbolic messages, as well, by uptight whatever people just because I'm not just a stringent, uptight person.  I truly was being wronged.  These people are bloodthirsty insane.  Look, I dunno, but I can think whatever I want, but I don't necessarily want to think it.  Tim Burton used to pick on what happens in our head in private, I'm so serious.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

NyQuil

The cookie made my throat scratch whilst lying on my side.

"I have pink grapefruit body scrub."

Ugh

I don't care about these prisses in Orlando I'm better but they think they're just better because they're so attuned to react, but I can enjoy myself I'm 26.  This is so gay.  This is like the gayest thing you could ever imagine in like dimensions beyond dimensions.

Problem

SHUT UP YOU NIGGER I just heard my dad cough about race that dirty nigger just *beep* him to *beep* he doesn't care what he farts outta his MOUTH-  ,:0  Put that lizard in prision

Problem

I don't give a *beep* not gonna wait for you to live my life.

Problem

So, Tim Burton was mean to me since I called his daughter a nigger...  It can't be because of my dad.  I did say he was scared of him, too.  I'm not my dad, though..  Anyway, I was just playing around and thought I was supposed to and I think I was because like it would spread and she's part Jew and other people would think of that word, and I didn't want to you know..  No one understands.  So, I mean, you're all just upset at all the attention I get and don't really care about my sorrows in wanting a successful life, ruined because I thought my life became an experiment.

The People from up North at the Hotel

I bet Ellen DeGeneres, sad as she may be, thought she had to make me feel bad about having Pennsylvanian blood and heritage because of my dad taking over my mom..  I was at the hotel, and the connection was very dead.  It seemed like it was in part from going to Valencia.  Ugh, I have to get up and go to the bathroom again but don't feel like it, feel some tight spots, but that's not why.  So..  I just feel sorta exposed like my dad, like there was some sorta worry that I was like him, like how he's not a party animal but he's not a nerd, I mean, come on, maybe a bit worn, but that doesn't have to affect me you niggers.  ,}:[  Go to hell and *** and wallow in torture.

Problem

I don't give a bullshit about my dad venting off his brutality and stupid nature with my mom.  He flips around ideas like he's really something.  My mom I think because of Ellen DeGeneres decided to say I didn't deserve to revel in the flowers, just to play because of my imperfections, like in how hard it is to be perfect, not my intentions..too bad no one is like finesse enough to go into that..  The problem is it's because my dad hurts me so he may as well **** himself.

I Am Stronger

than E l len

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Old Disney Dancer

Pennsylvanian in Hollywood. 33. Speaker. 8/

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Northeasterners

Does Ginny accept them? Her mom is Cali.

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At the Restaurant

Ordered burger and fries and water. :/

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Auditions

I was partly asleep for maybe 20 minutes on the carpety, puffy chairs. Then, I slept on the floor. The weight training I class made me tired, made me realize I am so vulnerable. I left and got a rice crispy Mickey with frosting. Before, I had a like $5 cookie. Then, I found the open candy shop and got a fudgy brownie. $4.75. In my audition, I had to shakily clutch the book. I sang "Pie Jesu," until I was stopped. I did the white bread ... 1st chicken crossing lights, quarters in jail, as stand-up, w/o rehearsing. For dance, I spun and put my leg out. My singing was the best, loved, like perfected pleasance and most reportedly least tacky.

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Messing With Past Fetishes

That's for you to get over with.

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Studied

Got my audition down, well, my neck stretched, a fairy poem I Shakespearea's "A Midsummer Night's Dream." I read my Acting I homework the night I got it on the "disability" van, slept today sorta.. With my flashlight from my aunt, for Christmas, and I made notes, rehearsed, studied the 2 big paragraphs, as well as the shorter lines, 3 pages altogether with the other part, working with 2 girls, me do once. So, I got it dahoon, studied for like maybe 45 minutes cheer. I'm ar oh oond the poo'.

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"Didn't Accomplish Anything"

We didn't accomplish anything in Ginny's class. Why aren't anyone else cheer rushing to her class? I found her at an acting school.. She's online-

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Breakfast xppp

What do they have in places like Europe?

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$20

I will probably get lunch at like 12-1. They have ice cream-

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I told

My dad I told the teacher to hug me.

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Hi

Found a pool with mist rising up up up.

So, I am considered acutely gifted and accomplished by everyone. I noticed in the class Ginny is having funny reactions and has funny friends.

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Dolphin Hotel - Freezing

Feels like a downtown, like Tulane thoughts. Going in.

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Help!

How will I get sleep? I will probably blog when I get home. Hopefully, then, I will sleep.

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Y

Why do you keep saying I did something?

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Planned Causes

Did you ever think your shitty reactions are planned sins, as causes?

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Rat

I don't need shit in Florida ratting out my acclaim in the New Orleans area.

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Bath + Body Works

Now, your tweens are chipped.

They don't sell the fancy body scrub.

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How I'm Doing

I was out in my living room getting veggies. I was reacting to my mom hurting me 2 days before. I wasn't happy, but I came back out this morning, and I got all these annoying signs. My dad is a flippant retard, schizophrenic. So, I was in my kitchen and realized I was being told insults but not bad stuff because I had a stress reaction to the reputation of the mom of Ellen DeGeneres, was violently thinking about niggerish reactions of my parents, also thought how it wasn' t really worth it. Just don't want to really think about shit. I don't really think that but don't really like thinking about her mom unless it's for me.

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New Facebook Cover

"You will learn.."

Ellen DeGeneres thinks I'm moral because I'm Slidellian and New Orleanian.  I think people from California are moral but close-minded more than people from certain other places, maybe.  I'm not sure if it's like maybe places like NY state, Ohio, just not like Boston, NJ, probably Kentucky.

"Married.." ♫

So, just "marry" some issue.

Relationships can hurt?

I always feel threatened by people about being born in Fort Lauderdale.

Funny Feeling

I am glad I am knocked out, but like I feel a sorta pushing down, must be a good thing.  I feel kinda like salty, saucy, from being around without sleeping and without a clean room-  8|

Sccared

I think Ginny is like waiting to teach people who are like 15.  So, what, that's her 1st semester next year?  These kids that come in will be just goody 2-shoes, should fly in people from outta-town, seriously..how will we do that?  Will I still see her, might not need to.  Hehe.  Will find something else for me to do that doesn't involve suffering..

Not a Question

So, why does Ginny think everything has to be neat and manufactured and not magical??

I mean, I started out being very neat and "manufactured.." even unalive.  So, everything I say comes from that strata pool.  :|

Try to Get Some Sleep

I feel like I'm going to school.  Gotta pack my script to practice .. for Thursday, bring the book, couldn't find info. on auditions, guess I'll just sorta go.  :|  Ugh, gotta get ready at 3 A.M.  Dig through stuff, make sure I have my keys, etc.  Probably won't do my hair.  :|  I need to pack my wallet, .. cell phone.  Cam'er'a and a stand.

Also, why does Ginny want to like make people pretend they hate me?  Maybe, things we do are hard and not that great, and we can't enjoy "what we have."  I mean, would it be any worse were there like Disney Worlds like say in areas like .. "Pennsylvania?"  }:}

Magical French

Why does Ginny give and take unrelated things?  I always explain them.

Also, why are people like honing in on me and telling me I'm crap but not going out and admitting that it's the age of my dad and that I'm not accomplished but talented?  Do you know any attractive, strong men?  I know my dad isn't sexy.

Fakir

When did that word come about in language????  Why is Ginny a faker?

My Idea

Ginny made some wrong decisions, and she's changing them.  However, she's scared of my dad, who is scared of the world, so it's like fucked up.  I mean, why would she say that I'm like worse than someone from Fort Lauderdale?